Chapter 35
Chapter
Thirty-Five
Bodi
Bodi,
I don’t know if there are adequate words for what we did last night.
It was absolutely magic. The best sex of my life.
I’m not stroking your ego or trying to play games—I literally never experienced anything like it.
The physical part was amazing, obviously, but it was more than that.
When we were together it felt like something shifted in my world.
I felt closer to you than I’ve ever felt to anyone. I don’t know how else to explain it.
I have to write these things because the idea of saying them out loud is mortifying.
Deep down, I can’t help but wonder if you’re laughing at me because you’ve been with so many more people than I have.
Maybe good sex is learned and I’m just late to the party?
I wish I could talk to you the way I can write letters to you… does it bother you?
I really love reading her letters. It’s a little frustrating that she gives them to me after the fact, but I enjoy finding them.
In my backpack. Under my pillow. In the pocket of a suit.
She’s sweet and romantic that way and I’d like to reciprocate.
I just don’t see her often enough to do little things like that.
We’re working on it, though. Teaching her to drive and coming up with a plan for after she graduates.
It occurred to me that she could potentially move out sooner.
Once her dad pays her tuition in January, he can’t take it back.
I guess technically he could dispute a charge to his credit card, but I’d be willing to cover it.
Ten thousand dollars isn’t going to break me.
It’s just a matter of getting him on board with us being together.
Because we’re going to be. She can move in here short-term and then we can find a place of our own. Even if it’s some small apartment.
Luckily, my stats the first month of the season are excellent so my hockey goals are on track.
I’m officially on the first line and we’re starting to gel on the ice.
West and I play really well together, and it feels good to be winning.
It seems to make Coach happy too, which is a bonus.
Blaze is pissed about being relegated to the third line despite his lack of production, but the only one who can fix that is him.
I can’t help that he’s not playing as well as some of the others on the team.
But I don’t want to think about him right now.
I’m in a hotel room in Dallas and want to keep reading this awesome letter from Jayne.
This is when I feel closest to her, other than when we’re intimate, and I think that’s the part that bothers me the most. We should feel close any time we’re together, not just in bed, but the longer we’re together, the more I worry about our future. Both as a couple and as individuals.
She’s as sweet as ever, and the sex is still off the charts, but she’s holding back emotionally because she’s scared and still a little unsure about me.
I can feel it, and instead of discussing it face to face, she leaves letters for me to read when we’re apart.
And since they’re always letters she wrote a while ago, it also feels like she’s afraid to give them to me in real time.
What could be so bad and what is she afraid of? Some include things she considers embarrassing but mostly she talks about us. About how much she likes me. How strong our bond is—and apparently how good I am in bed.
What guy would be upset by that?
A guy who doesn’t return her feelings, I guess.
And that has to be what she’s worried about.
It might be time to tell her how I feel—actually say the three words I’ve never said to anyone I wasn’t related to.
…I think my favorite thing about us is that we met twice, in two completely different worlds. First at the DDS in person and then online as strangers. I feel like that means something—I’m just not sure what. My heart is so full when we’re together. Do you feel it too or am I being a silly romantic?
Of course, I feel it too.
She makes me crazy with some of this stuff, but I have to remember she’s had a rough time, both with her family and the two boyfriends she’s had. I’m doing my best to be patient.
…and as we start to get closer, I wonder what’s next. Is there a happy ending for us despite my father holding your career in his hands? Do we have a way forward? I’m trying not to jump ahead, but it’s hard not to after last night…
Same, babe.
Same.
After losing in Dallas, we head to Chicago and Coach is back on a tear.
He reamed us a new one after the Dallas game and put us on lockdown again—no exceptions for local friends or family.
I’m getting used to his attitude at this point but as long as I continue putting up numbers, he can bluster all he wants.
What I’m not expecting is for West to call an impromptu team meeting during the pre-game meal. He asks all non-players to leave and closes the door. Then he starts walking around the room, looking at everyone, as if he’s taking stock of the team both individually and as a whole.
“It’s time we talked about some things,” he says, resting both hands flat on one of the long tables.
“As your captain, it’s my job to make sure we’re a well-oiled machine.
A team. And not just on paper. That we present a united front, no matter what the circumstances are.
One of us is going through an ugly divorce?
We don’t talk about any details. One of us isn’t playing well?
We support that guy until he finds his groove again.
“But here’s the thing—we’ve been together two months now and I’m not getting that unified feeling.
I’m hearing guys talking shit about each other behind their backs.
I’m seeing some petty-ass bullshit behind closed doors.
I’ve even heard a rumor that someone is going to Coach and telling him what people do in their free time.
And I’m here to tell you—that’s not how it’s supposed to be.
“If that’s what you’re used to from wherever you came from, then you better unlearn those habits right fucking now. I won’t put up with it in my locker room.” He pauses looking around. A lot of guys looked shocked. A few look concerned. Blaze’s face has gone pale, which is interesting.
“If you’d rather play on a team like that, then let me know.
If you don’t want me as your captain, you can tell me that too.
You won’t hurt my feelings. But let me give you something to think about—do you want to win or do you want to suck Coach’s dick?
As someone who’s won a championship, I can promise you dick-sucking isn’t going to get you there.
You know what’s going to get you there? Hard work—and your teammates.
I can’t do it alone. Vik can’t do it alone. Bodi can’t do it alone. None of us can.
“The only way we win a championship? By doing it together. One united, loyal, hard-working team. It’s a cliché, but there is no I in team. Period. If you want to go back to high school, cool. You do you. But not on my team. You hear me?”
For the most part, everyone nods.
West briefly looks at me but then gives Blaze a hard stare.
“I can’t hear you,” West grinds out, looking around. “I asked if you heard me.”
“I hear you, Cap!” I yell out.
He points at me. “I know you do.”
“I hear you.” Ashton Knight stands up and looks around.
“You all know who my brother is. Call it nepotism or whatever you want, but at the end of the day, I can play almost anywhere. I chose this expansion team because I wanted to be a part of something from the ground up. Right now, it feels like I made the wrong choice.”
A few guys look surprised, but others seem to agree with him, even if they’re not speaking up.
“I had good life in Alaska,” Vik says in his stilted English. “Here, I have only roommates. Is not normal. Not normal.” He shakes his head in complete disappointment as he reiterates the last part.
His words aren’t concise but there’s no mistaking his meaning.
A few others stand up, say a few words, but most of the team is quiet. Introspective.
Except Blaze.
He’s staring down at his half-eaten plate of chicken and vegetables.
“If there’s anything going on,” West says after a moment. “You can come to me. I’m here for you. Whether it’s personal, professional, medical—talk to me. We’re supposed to be here for each other. Especially me. It’s all new but we should be having the time of our lives out there!
“I understand that Coach has been riding our asses but that’s his way of getting us to play up to our potential, so don’t let him get in your head. Take it as constructive criticism and think about what you need to work on. All of us can improve at something.”
That’s for damn sure. I can only hope West’s speech sinks in. I can’t be sure, but it looks like he’s got some of the guys thinking.
Now it’s just a matter of waiting to see if anything changes.