Chapter 18
DENNY
Interestingly, my mother has called three times since CAS showed up at my door six days ago. As I’m driving to Ren’s, her name flashes across my car dash, interrupting the music playing.
I deny the call, and as soon as I’m at a red light, I block her number like I should have done a week ago.
Her voicemails are rambling. She tosses around the word ‘inappropriate’ many times, not only in relation to Tyler—who she still refers to as a nanny—but also to the fact that Ty is being raised by two men and no women.
I’d really love to point out that I was raised by a man and a woman, and I was absolutely miserable for the entire eighteen years until I was finally old enough to leave the house.
In a very long list of inappropriate behavior, the environment in which my siblings and I were raised is at the very fucking top.
There are a lot of things I’d love to say to my mother, but that means I’d have to speak to her, and no.
I don’t ever want to speak to her. I haven’t wanted to speak to her since I moved out of that shitty situation, and I never want to look back.
I’ve put it behind me, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s done. I’m done.
If there were a way I could force her out of Canada, I would. Can’t I put her on some watch list? Is there such a thing?
My anger lingers for the remainder of my drive to Ren’s as it always does when she’s called. I was uneasy leaving Tyler and Ty, even knowing that he was well-versed in operating my home security system now.
I tried to cancel my Tyler-labeled ‘playdate’ because I’ve allowed my fucking mother into my head and I’m paranoid about leaving Ty now. Tyler refused to allow that. So here I am, driving to Ren’s and remembering the glint in Tyler’s eyes when I gave in with, “Yes, Daddy,” on my way out the door.
There’s not a damn chance that we’re ever going to be in a relationship where ‘Daddy’ becomes an honorific. I don’t see myself being into that. There’s nothing wrong with it, of course. I just don’t think it’s for me.
However, I do think that maybe I enjoy submitting to Tyler during our bedroom activities. While we haven’t had sex beyond the first time—I’m not even sure why at this point!—we have fooled around, and I’m a goddamn whore to the way he takes control of me and says all kinds of sexy things.
I’ve had the inclination that I’m into praise since the second time my friends and I fucked Felton while Felton was in a blindfold. The way Kroy praised him until Felton was a shivering mess, and then after, Ren did the same… Yeah, I was turned the fuck on.
I’m the last one to arrive at Ren’s house. He has a big driveway, so all of our vehicles fit easily enough, though none of them are small. When you live in Canada, you make sure you have four-wheel drive, and small, light cars are simply not an intelligent choice in this climate.
As soon as I step out of my vehicle, big, fat flakes begin to fall from the sky. I glance at the road, wondering if I should just go home. I don’t want to take a chance that I’m somehow stranded away from my Tylers.
The thought makes me grin. My Tylers.
When I turn back to Ren’s house, Kroy is standing in the door with his arms crossed over his chest. Fucker probably knows exactly what I’m thinking. Sighing, I trudge my way to the door.
“You’ve driven in worse weather than we’re forecast to get today. Get inside,” he greets.
“Nice to see you too,” I mutter as I walk past him and begin peeling off my outdoor clothes. Kroy grips the back of my neck affectionately and disappears down the hall. I follow a minute later to find my group of friends gathered around the living room.
“I feel like I forgot what you look like,” Carson says, eyes narrowed as he scrutinizes me. “Have you lost weight? No… maybe you’ve gained weight. Your hair is longer for sure.”
He’s not wrong about that last part. I’m constantly brushing my hair from my eyes these days.
I toss the throw pillow at him that’s sitting on the chair I drop into. “Shut up.”
Carson smirks.
“Where’s Felton?” I ask.
“At Dasan’s house playing video games,” Ren answers.
“Ah. Two separate playdates,” I muse.
The corner of Ren’s mouth rises. “Yes. Though I don’t think it’s a big deal if we all hang out. Fel would like that.”
“Are you going to tell us what’s going on with you and Felton yet?” Zenia asks.
“No,” Ren answers and doesn’t offer anything else. I chuckle.
Attention turns to me. “What’s new with you?” Kroy asks. “How’s baby?”
I debate whether to tell them about my mother, and because she just called and I’m feeling grouchy, I do. “My fucking mother showed up at my house and forced Tyler to hand over my baby a couple weeks ago.”
“What the actual fuck?” Carson says, disgusted.
“The same day you were there,” I say. “I wish to fuck you’d been there still. Tyler didn’t know what to do. He didn’t understand the full extent of my situation with my mother.”
Carson scowls. “You should have called me. He should have called.”
“He has your number now and knows you’re just down the road.” I look at the room as a whole. “Actually, I gave him all your numbers and a boatload of Winnipeg’s numbers.”
“Good,” Ren answers.
“I realize you and Zen are likely always going to be in the same place I am when I’m not home, but I thought it wisest to give him all your numbers. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it before.”
“No worries. They both okay?” Kroy asks.
“They are. Then, last week, my fucking mother called CAS to report my kid being in a dangerous and inappropriate situation.”
“Again, what the actual fuck?” Carson says.
“Yep.”
“What do you need?” Ren asks.
I shake my head and let it drop back onto the chair.
“I don’t know. It’s over now.” Even as the words leave my mouth, something inside me says that’s not the case.
My mother isn’t done yet. She assured that my childhood was fucking miserable, and now what?
She wants me to be miserable as an adult, too?
She didn’t want anything to do with us as kids, but she wants to pretend to be a caring grandmother?
“You don’t believe that,” Kroy notes.
I sigh. “No. I didn’t realize I didn’t believe that until the words were spoken out loud.”
“Need a change of subject for a while?” Ren asks.
“Yes, please.”
“Cool. So what’s new?” Zenia asks.
I roll my head to look at him, and he’s smirking. “You know what my life consists of these days. How about your life?”
Zenia shakes his head. “Honestly? I’m fucking horny.”
“You’re always horny,” Kroy says, laughing.
“We haven’t gone to the club in ages,” Zenia complains.
“He’s not wrong. I could totally do with a good groupie,” Carson says.
“Fel’s been hinting that he’d like another gang bang,” Ren says.
Earlier in the season, Felton got tangled up in some mess where he was accused of being Benny Bop, a porn star on the ReachMe platform.
Mind you, there is no actual proof that it’s him besides a star tattoo on his hip that he shares with the figure known as Benny Bop, because Benny Bop always has his face covered.
We think that middle management at Winnipeg was trying to be proactive and took immediate, swift action in preparation for someone actually tying Benny Bop to Felton. Six months later, that still hasn’t happened.
However, simultaneously, Felton’s shitty father contributed to the situation in a way I’m not entirely privy to, but it all coalesced, and Felton practically had a meltdown.
Ren got involved. Details here are murky as fuck because Ren is an extremely private person. The next thing we knew, Ren was asking us if we’d consider a gang bang with Felton in the middle, masked, unaware of who was there.
Curiosity has me watching Zenia. He struggled with Felton being a man in equal portions to Felton being a teammate.
While he’s done a lot of thinking, I’d been experimenting and hooking up with guys when we were on the road.
Just to see how I respond. Granted, that was a while ago.
I haven’t been with anyone aside from Tyler since Kroy.
In reality, I’m not always into it. I think it truly is the group dynamic that turns me on. Then there’s also the praise aspect, especially from Kroy as he told Felton how much of a good fucking boy he is, and yep, I went there as well. Call it more experimentation.
“Why are you all looking at me?” Zenia asks.
“If you say no, then the answer is no,” Carson says, shrugging.
Zenia scowls at us. “I didn’t say no the last two times, but… I kinda want to fuck a girl between us.”
Ren shakes his head. “Sorry, Zen. I’m out of that scenario.”
Zenia sighs, rolling his eyes. We don’t actually need Ren to tell us what’s going on. It’s fucking obvious.
We let the conversation fall and spend the afternoon playing board games and eating game-day snacks.
I think about the prospect of a gang bang on my way home, unsure how I feel about it.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to share that with my friends again.
There is something stupidly hot about fucking the same person as my close friends. I can’t put it into words.
But I shouldn’t, right?
I find Tyler in the kitchen again, but this time without Ty. However, he’s in nothing but those stupidly sexy slutty socks and tiny fucking underwear that barely cover his cheeks. This man is trying to turn my brain to mush. I can tell.
He smiles slyly as I walk into the room. “Dinner will be finished in a few minutes.”
I make a pointed look at dragging my eyes up and down his body. “Oh, yeah?”
“How was your playdate?”
His question brings Ren’s back to the forefront of my mind, and I lean against the counter to watch him. “How do you feel about gang bangs?”
I’m not in the least bit surprised that he stares at me, startled at the question. “Uh… like, kink or rape?”
“Kink. Of course.”
He still stares as if differentiating between them doesn’t clarify the question. “I guess… to each their own. I’m not going to judge what someone else does in their own time.”
“You’re not curious? You’ve never been in that kind of situation?”
Tyler raises one perfect eyebrow. “I’m not sure what kind of life you think I left behind in Vancouver, but I promise you, that’s never come up.”
I laugh. “Sorry.”
“And… no, I guess I haven’t thought to be curious about it.”
I hum and get to my feet. “Okay. I’m going to change.”
Tyler doesn’t move. I can practically feel him watching me. Stopping long enough to check on Ty on my way through the living room, I pull my hoodie over my head as I walk into my bedroom. A shadow falls behind me, and Tyler stands in the doorway.
“Can we not do that?” he asks.
“Do what?”
“The weird conversation that just happened. You’re fishing for something so… tell me what it is.”
With a heavy exhale, I drop onto the side of the bed. “My friends and I like to, uh, host gang bangs. Someone we take turns with.”
“And you want me involved?” he asks, eyebrows practically in his hairline.
I laugh. “No.” A tense feeling fills me. “Absolutely not.”
Tyler likes this answer. “Okay then… you… want to have one?”
“I don’t know. They just suggested another since it’s been a while and…”
“You can tell me you want to. I’m not going to judge you.”
“You’re missing the point of this, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. Are we talking about what kinks we’re into?”
“Come here.”
Tyler crosses the room, and I grip his hips. Jesus. These underwear up close really cup his junk, so it’s practically hanging out like a pouch in front of him. “Slutty underwear. Fuck’s sake, man.”
He laughs. His fingers dig into my hair as I press my face to his stomach. “I’m asking about this because… maybe I need to know how you feel about me participating.”
“Does it matter—”
“Yes. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t be asking.”
“Right. Sorry. I guess…” His voice trails off. “I guess, if I’m honest, I don’t particularly find it exciting that you’d be fucking someone else, but you don’t owe me—”
“Stop.” I look up at him, meeting his eyes.
“I don’t think we need to define what we’re doing right now.
I’m still struggling through this abrupt change in my life with Ty, and I don’t think I have the mental capacity to add something else.
That being said, I also don’t think it’s fair to say we’re just the equivalent of pre-in-laws, either. Right?”
Tyler shakes his head, a smile touching his lips.
“So we can talk as if there’s maybe something happening here and not include a lot of disclaimers while also not pushing the conversation. Right?”
“Yes. Sorry.”
“You don’t like the idea. I hear that. I understand.”
“Is there really someone out there who likes the idea that their… not-partner is fucking someone else?”
I laugh. “Yeah, Tyler. A lot of people find that hot. That’s why it’s called a kink. Not everyone is into it, but some people are. Watching your partner fuck someone else is being fucked by someone else is cuckold. There’s also exhibitionism. Kink.”
He tilts his head. “Huh.”
Getting to my feet, I press my mouth to his. “It’s okay if it’s not your kink.”
“I—” Tyler doesn’t finish. He shakes his head. “The words I was going to say sound a lot like what I’m not supposed to allude to, and that’s not really what I mean, so…” He chews his lips. “Can we continue this conversation after I think about what I want to say?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Let’s go eat before it’s cold.”