Chapter 5
Dixie
My stomach knots as I stare at my phone outside of the Seven Crows. It’s a text from Stephen.
Did you schedule it?
It. Like it’s an eye doctor appointment. Not something life-changing and devastating.
No. And I won’t.
The three dots of him typing appear on the screen, but I block him before I can see anything more from him. If he doesn’t want to be part of my baby’s life, then so be it. I won’t force him. And I sure as hell won’t engage with him.
I walk into the bar, a sour taste in my mouth, and I wish the familiar surroundings made me feel better than they do.
When Nancy called and asked if I could cover for Demi tonight, I jumped at the chance.
I need a distraction, and sitting on my couch sobbing as I continue to focus on the fact that I’m the other woman isn’t doing me any good.
I press a hand against my belly as what little lunch I was able to eat threatens to come back up. It’s unclear if this is a result of morning sickness or just the stress of my life becoming the chaos I’ve tried so hard to avoid. Either way, the smell of burned pizza doesn’t help matters.
Stephen doesn’t want me or this baby, and that’s okay.
But I want this baby. And I’m keeping it.
As unbalanced as I feel right now, I’m in a very different position than I was when I was seventeen.
Back when I was alone in a cold clinic room, terrified and bleeding, as I realized for the first time just how much my actions had consequences.
And the feelings that never leave afterward.
That trauma burrowed its way into my bones, and I can’t go through that nightmare again. And I will be damned if I let a married, manipulative asshole decide my future or make my decisions for me. My anger and hatred in this moment are what push me forward.
I walk behind the bar and slide my purse onto the shelf beneath the register with the wad of money Stephen threw at me inside. The evening rush is over, and I just need to get through a few hours. And at least I have distractions to help keep my thoughts at bay.
Grabbing a rag, I start wiping down the bar, not looking at anyone sitting at the rail. I’m sure they can tell something’s up, and I pray no one makes a comment. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it together.
“You don’t look so hot,” Penn says, crushing my hopes.
“Gee, thanks,” I say.
He leans against the edge with his massive, tattooed arms crossed over his chest. His brown eyes narrow slightly as he studies me, and I can’t look at him.
I doubt he’ll be able to figure out what’s wrong, but I can’t take that chance, either.
Clearly, I don’t have the best intuition when it comes to men, even though I used to pride myself on it.
I could spot a cheater a mile away thanks to Daddy and life experience.
I still don’t understand how I could miss this.
“You’re still gorgeous, but you look like shit.”
“Way to flatter a girl. Tell me, does that get girls to go home with you? A compliment followed by an insult?” I ask. “A reverse psychology kind of thing?”
There’s no joking in his eyes. “I’m serious,” he says. “You’re pale, your eyes are puffy and bloodshot, and you’re shaking. Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lie. “I just didn’t sleep very well last night. And then Demi called in sick, so I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight, either.”
Just as he opens his mouth to argue with me, the wailing sound of sirens fills the air. For a moment, I’m transported back to Mom and that convertible, but it’s quick. A flash. And then I’m back in the Seven Crows, confused like everyone else.
“What the hell is going on out there? Sounds like they sent the entire department,” Nancy says, walking out from her office in the back. “Is half the county on fire?”
Fires around Gravelton can be dangerous. It’s so dry because of the desert air that it doesn’t take much to spread. And if it’s not acted upon quickly enough, an entire neighborhood can be demolished in minutes. Almost like a tornado.
Reaching over the bar, Nancy grabs the remote control and turns the TV to the local news station. A reporter stands not far away from a fire with a large cloud of black smoke in the air. It would almost be a pretty backdrop if someone wasn’t losing their entire life.
Nancy turns as I pour a beer for Lainey—who still can’t meet my eyes—and she freezes beside me. “Dixie… baby… is that your complex?”
Whipping around, I look closer at the building on fire behind the reporter. My eyes widen as I realize it’s not just my complex. It’s my condo.
My house. My home. Everything I own. Everything burns to ash on camera.
“That’s… my condo.”
“Oh my God,” Nancy gasps.
My knees instantly buckle as I see everything stable left in my life literally going up in flames. I don’t even feel myself falling, but Penn jumps over the counter to catch me, his arms strong and warm around me as he saves me from landing flat on my ass.
“Did you leave something on?” Lainey asks. “The stove or a candle?”
Shaking my head, I can’t breathe. My lunch was a cold sandwich. And I drank milk that was about to go bad. I didn’t even use my hair dryer or any type of styling tool today. Hell, I didn’t even shower today.
Tears fill my eyes as I claw at his leather. “My… my house. Everything is in there. It’s all gone.”
“I know,” he murmurs, holding me tighter. “But you’re here, and you’re safe. That’s what matters.”
Nancy takes my hand and turns up the TV as the reporter on the screen shouts over the noise of the fire, sirens, and water being sprayed behind him.
”…fire chief cannot confirm the cause of the fire, but it is being investigated as arson.
Neighbors reported seeing a suspicious vehicle speeding away after the sound of breaking glass echoed into the night air.
The smoke came soon after, and multiple people will be unable to return to their homes tonight. ”
Arson.
A cold, sickening wave of dread washes over me, and I can only stare in shock. The timing is very suspicious. A night I wasn’t supposed to work. Telling Stephen I’m not aborting our baby. His threat to take everything from me. It’s all too much of a coincidence to be random.
“He did it,” I whisper.
Penn looks down at me. “Who did this, Dixie? You know who would set your house on fire?”
I shake my head, pulling back as more secrets press down on me. I can’t tell him about Stephen. The situation is already dangerous, and I know how Penn and his brothers handle things. With violence.
“No, I just… God.”
“God?” he asks.
“It must’ve been God.”
His forehead crinkles as he glances at Nancy for help, but she just shrugs and says, “We need to figure out where you’re going to stay. At least until we can get you back on your feet. You can stay with me.”
It’s a generous offer. One that not a lot of bosses would extend, but I shake my head. “That’s very nice, Nancy, but I’m deathly allergic to cats. And you have three.”
“Four now, actually.”
“My throat would close up within ten minutes.”
Sometimes the dander on her clothes is enough to cause issues for me, and we have to avoid each other for my shift. Staying on her couch would be certain death.
“You can stay with me,” Lainey offers, chewing her gum in the way that makes me cringe. “I have a couch that folds out into a bed. It’s not much, but I don’t have cats.”
All I can see when I look at Lainey is her having sex with the Black Venom road captain. How many times do they get together at her place? Would I be forced to listen to her fucking him in her bedroom as I try to sleep in the living room and pretend it’s not happening?
She’s a good person. I know that. And I’m also one of the only people who knows about her secret. Staying with her is a very generous offer, but I suspect it has more to do with repaying a debt. She gives me a place to crash, and I keep her secret.
Which I was already planning to do.
“Thank you, Lainey,” I say, picking my words carefully. “But I don’t want to crowd you. I know you have…”
There’s really no way to say anything I want to say without drawing suspicion. More than I already have.
“You’re not staying on the street,” Penn says. “And you are not staying in some cheap, unsafe motel where anyone can walk up to your door.”
My heart does a weird little patter as he stares at me with an unfamiliar intensity. Maybe I wasn’t excited to have unprotected sex with Stephen after all. Maybe it’s the pregnancy. “I don’t really have a lot of options, Penn.”
“You can stay at my place,” he says. I expect a comment about how comfortable his bed is, but he says, “I have a guest room. It’s clean, and nobody will show up without getting a fist to their fucking face.”
Yep, I’m definitely feeling excitement thanks to the hormones because I have to squeeze my legs together as I attempt to relieve the ache between them. But before I agree to this, I have to tell him the truth.
“There’s something you should know before I accept.”
“What’s that?”
“I do have an idea who set the fire to my house, and having me at yours might put yours at risk, too.”
He frowns, and Nancy gently grabs my shoulder. “Who, honey?”
“The father of my baby. I’m pregnant, and he isn’t exactly happy that I’m keeping it.”
Penn’s brows raise. “You’re pregnant? Wait, you think your boyfriend would set your house on fire because you’re keeping the baby?”
Swallowing, I have to be honest. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore. He’s pissed about the baby because it turns out he’s married. And I was just a game. He doesn’t want the baby, and he was upset when I told him I’m keeping it.”
“Bastard,” Lainey says.
“You’ll be safe at my place,” Penn says.
“You still want me to stay there knowing he might set it on fire if he finds out I wasn’t home?”
“Of course,” he says, rubbing my biceps. “What’s his name?”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
“Dixie—”
“There’s already been enough destruction because of this situation. I’d rather it just end with my place going up in flames. That’s more than enough.”
He’s clearly unhappy with my request, but he doesn’t fight me.
“Why don’t you take her home, Penn?” Nancy asks.
Turning, I shake my head. “No, you need me to cover for Demi—”
“I can handle the bar while Lainey takes care of the floor. We’ll figure it out. You just lost your home, honey. You’re in shock right now, but it’ll hit you. And it’s best to be alone when that happens.”
“We’ve got it,” Lainey assures. “Go get settled.”
“Come on, baby mama,” Penn says.
“Of all the inappropriate things you could have said,” I say, but I laugh regardless.
It is kind of funny.
And sad.