Chapter 9
PENNY
Penny wedged the phone between her ear and her shoulder. “I’m going to be unavailable for a few days.”
“What? Why?” Jason asked. “Everything okay?”
She bit back a smile as she threw a dress into her suitcase. “Everything’s fine, Jason. I’m just… I’m going to take a girls’ trip this weekend.”
Then she grimaced.
Shoot.
Did Jason know she didn’t have many friends? That she didn’t hang out with hardly anyone?
“Girls’ trip? With who?”
Tamping down the groan that threatened to rise, she cleared her throat. “You don’t know them. But they wanted to get out of town for a few days, and they invited me.”
“Your secretary?”
Sheesh. He wasn’t going to let this one go.
“Yeah. Her.”
“Well, where are you going?”
“Vegas.”
Once again, Penny wished it wasn’t so hard to lie to her brother. She scrunched her nose and squeezed her eyes shut. “Apparently, she’s never been.”
“Vegas?” The disbelief in his voice made her feel ten times worse and pushed her into a state of frustration.
“Yes, Jason, Vegas. Something wrong with that?”
“But you never go on trips.”
She sighed. “I take trips.” There was an edge of defensiveness in her tone. “When I’m invited,” she amended. “What’s with the third degree?”
“Yeah, okay, you’re right. It just seemed weird. Came out of nowhere.” A pause. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Jason,” she snapped, then winced at herself. “I’m fine. I’m taking a trip, and heaven knows I could use a break. I’ll be back in a few days, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
More lies.
They sat heavy on her chest, but Jason would stop her if he knew what was really taking place. Or he’d try to. And maybe he would have a good point.
That was the part she didn’t want to examine too closely.
Royce was right about one thing. Penny lived her life following rules that didn’t always exist. She’d gotten comfortable in the rut she’d put herself in, and he was offering her a way to step out of it.
That didn’t mean this was sensible.
But for once, she was tired of being the sensible one.
Softening her voice, she said, “I promise, Jason. I think I need this more than I realized. After Dad died…” She sighed. “Well, you know how it’s been. I think it would be good for me to take a breath. To do something that’s just for me.”
“You’re right. I get it. I just…” Jason sighed. “Have you talked to Mathew yet?”
“I was going to call him next.”
“Maybe don’t do that. I’ll let him know if he asks about you. But if it’s only for a few days, then go and have fun. Don’t worry about us. Dad’s passing affected him more than it affected you, and I don’t think it would be good to bring it up. Not yet anyway.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” she murmured. “Thanks, Jason.”
“Of course, sis. You’re going to be back in time for the wedding, right?”
She scoffed. “I said it’s only for a few days. Of course I’ll be back for the wedding.”
Amusement returned to her voice, and she could hear the same from Jason.
“Bring me back a souvenir?”
“Always.” She laughed.
After she hung up, she gathered everything else she needed and headed out to Royce’s waiting truck.
“You keep staring at me like that, and I might have to pull this truck over and kiss you until we both can’t think clearly.”
“That’s not exactly the threat you think it is,” Penny retorted with a laugh.
Royce grinned, and it was dazzling. Penny blamed her lack of good cognitive choices on the way his smile affected her. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was exactly, but Royce had the ability to make her reservations go scattering.
Being with him made her feel so… good.
She felt seen. Understood. Wanted in a way that didn’t make sense for the amount of time they’d known each other.
Loved?
No. Not yet. Maybe not the word itself.
But something in the same family as love had started unfolding in her chest, and that was why she was seated in his truck on the way to Vegas without telling a soul the whole truth.
She should be terrified, right?
If any of her clients told her a story like this one, she would be concerned. She would ask careful questions. She would encourage them to slow down long enough to make sure the choice was truly theirs.
So why exactly did Penny feel so free?
She let out a small laugh, and Royce warmed her with another one of those adorable expressions of his. This man was something else.
And he was interested in her.
Unfortunately, her freeing thoughts and excitement for starting this adventure fell away after the first two hours on the road.
“Talk to me, beautiful. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing,” she squeaked. Penny kept her focus trained ahead.
“The upholstery would beg to differ.”
She glanced down at the way she was digging her fingernails into the seat at her sides. No matter how many times she told herself to release the material, she couldn’t do it.
Oh no.
This was a mistake. A huge mistake.
She really shouldn’t be here.
“Turn around,” she rasped before she could think better of it.
Royce’s attention snapped to her. “Okay.”
The truck began slowing almost immediately.
The instant he agreed, panic twisted with guilt inside her. “No. Wait. I don’t—” Penny closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know. Never mind.”
The nausea started to build, her anxiety overthrowing any semblance of excitement she’d had. This was a mistake of epic proportions. She wasn’t this person. She couldn’t do this.
Her grip on the seat turned painful, but not as painful as the burning in her lungs or the tightness in her stomach. She was getting dizzy. Or was it later than she thought and those stars were actually falling from the sky?
Suddenly, the door to her right swung open.
What?
When had they stopped?
Royce was there, unbuckling her seatbelt and pressing a hand on the spot between her shoulder blades. The pressure soothed her in ways she didn’t think it could. His low, murmured voice brought her back from the brink of a panic attack.
“Breathe, beautiful. That’s it. You’re doing great.”
She gulped in air her lungs desperately needed, and soon she could think clearly.
Heat rushed into her cheeks, and embarrassment hit almost as hard as the panic had. Penny didn’t want to look up at the man who probably thought she was the crazy one.
Royce kept his hand steady on her back, his expression etched with concern. “Maybe we should go back,” he said quietly. “I’m not the kind of guy who can sit back and watch you suffer, Penny.”
Then his words sank in, and the thought of turning back hit harder than she expected. She reached for his hands and held on. “No. I don’t want to go back.”
Her confession surprised even herself.
“I want this. I do.” Thankfully, her voice didn’t waver. “I just got inside my head a little. It happens sometimes.”
She wasn’t about to tell him she suspected it had something to do with being attacked in college or that these flare-ups were one of the reasons she chose to become a therapist. He didn’t need to know that part of her yet.
Not here.
Not on the side of the road.
Royce studied her for what felt like an eternity. He didn’t look convinced.
Penny took in a deep breath, closing her eyes to settle herself.
Then she opened them with fresh determination.
“Everything you’ve said about me is true.
I am in a rut. I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy.
I used to take risks and make mistakes with the best of them.
But somewhere along the way, I put myself into a box and threw away the key. ”
The undercurrent of nausea was still present, but it was manageable. She reached for Royce’s hands and gripped them tightly in her own.
“And you’re right about the connection you feel. I feel it too. You make me want to throw caution to the wind, even if I might have a few bouts of panic along the way.”
Thank goodness she could put the skills she taught her clients to good use.
The longer she watched him, the more she could see in the depths of his stare. He wanted this too. Definitely more than he was letting on. Because she could see some panic of his own that he worked incredibly hard to hide.
Never before had she seen someone want her with such certainty.
It made her whole body weak and it did something to her heart—healed it in a way she hadn’t realized it needed.
Irrational?
Probably.
There was no making sense of the way he made her feel. It was entirely possible that these extreme emotions would fade, and then what would they be left with? She didn’t like the idea of divorce, but she was logical enough to agree that in certain situations, it was warranted.
And yet the longer they sat there on the edge of the road, crazy as it sounds, she couldn’t imagine a future without this man in her life.
A laugh slipped from her lips, and she shook her head. Royce smiled in response and he lifted his palm to her cheek. Their connection was electric and went against everything she thought she knew.
“Are you sure?” he murmured.
She turned her lips into his palm and kissed it. “I’m sure.”
Thankfully, the rest of the ride was less eventful. They chatted about things they should have probably discussed before she agreed to marry him. Things like how many children they wanted and where they wanted to live.
Each new topic fueled her with more excitement.
Royce had several siblings, but he would be happy as long as he had one boy and one girl. Penny told him she would definitely want more than that, to which he was in agreeance with.
Royce wanted to remain in Copper Creek but only if Penny didn’t have dreams of moving back to the city. She assured him that Copper Creek was a wonderful place to raise a family and she loved the idea of her children learning how to ride a horse and work with their hands.
By the time they were walking through the halls of the hotel where they’d spend their first night as husband and wife, they’d gotten into more important subjects.
“How do you think your family will react?” she asked quietly as she moved past him and placed her bag on the large king bed.
Flutters erupted in her stomach, making her feel like she could float away. But the nausea she expected hadn’t returned since that panic attack in the car.
She turned and found Royce frozen in the doorway.
His brows were drawn, and he wasn’t looking at her.
That was when the churning in her gut started up again.
“Royce?”
He stepped inside and placed his duffel bag on the floor at his feet. “I have something to tell you.”
This was it.
This was when the other shoe was going to drop.
Royce had brought her all the way out here knowing full well there was something that might keep her from agreeing to marry him.
She dug her fingernails into her palms as she watched him approach her. When he didn’t speak right away, fear got there before logic could.
“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” The words came out sharp and hurt.
“Of course you have. You know all the right things to say to get a girl to go along with your plans. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.
” She threw her hands in the air with a disbelieving bark of a laugh. “I should have known—”
“What? No.” Royce closed the distance between them, then stopped himself before reaching for her. His hands curled at his sides instead. “There has never been anyone else, Penny. I’ve never even had a serious girlfriend.”
Her wide eyes must have looked shocked. “What?”
A muscle feathered in Royce’s jaw, but he didn’t break eye contact. “I’ve been mostly honest with you. You’re my dream girl, my soul mate. Even if we’d turned back, I would have still courted you until you agreed to be my wife. I’m all in, remember?”
“Then…” She swallowed, barely managing to get the words out. “Why do you look so guilty?”
“Because of who I am.” His voice was rough enough to make her still. “Not about another woman. Not about anything like that. But about who my family is.”
He scowled and looked away, but it was only for a second before he returned his piercing gaze to her.
“They’re not going to be happy with me when they find out.”
“Well, yeah. I don’t think my brothers are going to be thrilled either—”
“No, this goes beyond that.” He blew out a breath. “My name is Royce Meyers.”
“Meyers,” she whispered.
Her body suddenly felt numb all over. Hot and cold. Prickling like someone was jabbing her with thousands of needles.
Then it clicked. The family her cousins hated. The neighbors who gave them trouble.
She took a step back.
Royce’s hand lifted like he wanted to reach for her, but he stopped himself.
Good.
Because she couldn’t handle his touch right now.
“Penny,” he said quietly.
She shook her head. “Don’t.”
Pain fractured in his eyes, but she needed to think.
She needed a moment of space so she could reevaluate the risks.
Penny had come to terms with being reckless and taking this leap with Royce, but he’d kept a very important piece of the puzzle to himself.
Without another word, she bolted from the room.