Chapter 21
PENNY
The taste of bile was strong in Penny’s throat.
She’d lost track of how long she’d been in this bathroom. After losing the contents of her stomach, she rested her arm across the toilet seat and prepared for the dry heaving.
Maybe it was time to see her doctor about anti-anxiety medication. Up until this point in her life, she’d been able to manage the nausea that came with all kinds of stress and anxiety.
Or maybe she just needed to walk away from the source of all her issues.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and a tear slipped free.
Each time someone raised their voice, she winced. Normally, she was fully capable of defusing a heated situation. It was her job, for heaven’s sake. She had the tools and the knowledge to bring almost anyone off the edge.
For some reason, her mind wasn’t working the way it should.
All she could see was the mess she’d helped create.
The mess Royce had assured her they’d figure out.
Two families, so similar in what they held dear. She knew enough about Royce’s history to see it all so clearly. They valued loyalty and honesty. They valued hard work and perseverance.
They valued family.
And the same could be said about her cousins.
Right now, Royce and Penny were the ones tearing that apart.
And for what?
A grudge that couldn’t be forgiven even after decades had passed.
Could she really sit back and let Royce lose the connection he had with his brothers and his father?
She already knew the answer without voicing the question aloud.
They couldn’t continue like this. Even with everything out in the open, she wasn’t going to shoulder the blame when Royce inevitably grew resentful.
He might not believe it, but eventually, he’d want his family involved in his life again. What happened when he became a father? What happened when he wanted to purchase his first house and needed help fixing the place up? He needed his brothers just as much as she needed hers.
Penny had been so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear just how quiet it had become in her apartment. A sense of trepidation weighed on her as she strained her ears for any sign that Royce was still here.
He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, would he?
She wiped at her face and forced herself to rise to her feet. Then she washed her hands and used some mouthwash.
It was time to face the music.
She knew it would be difficult for Royce to understand, but she had to make him. Even if that meant hurting him.
There wasn’t an ache in her chest.
She’d expected to feel that as soon as she’d made her decision.
No, instead of pain and the expectation of an impending anxiety attack, Penny felt cold. Lost. Like a ship out at sea with no way of getting back to shore.
When she opened the bathroom door, she gasped.
Royce stood there, gripping both sides of the doorjamb, his head hanging low.
That was when the pain started.
She’d done that.
She’d allowed him to get hurt because she’d selfishly wanted everything he offered.
He lifted his head.
She couldn’t remember a time when he’d looked this weary. Exhaustion lined his features, and he was still dealing with his injuries.
“Royce…” she started, but he shook his head.
Reaching for her, he pulled her into his chest and held her tight. His chin rested atop her head, and he hushed her as he trailed his hands up and down her back. She couldn’t help it. The tears returned, and she sobbed against him.
Not because of the clash between their families.
Because she knew what she was going to lose when she told him what had to happen.
Why was she so emotional today? Why couldn’t she dig up that calm she was so good at using when times got tough?
Because nothing in her life had been as good as the last several weeks being married to Royce.
“It’s going to be fine, sweetheart,” he assured her, which only made her cry harder. She gripped his shirt in her fists and allowed herself this moment.
After this, she’d have to be the strong one.
Penny wasn’t sure when it happened exactly. All she knew was that one moment Royce was holding her by the bathroom and in the next, they were curled up on the couch together.
The apartment felt cold and empty, as if it were preparing her for how things would be when Royce was gone.
Royce was quiet, locked in his own thoughts, when she finally gathered the courage she’d needed all morning.
She’d been warring with her own perspective on things. Deep down, she knew both families showing up was a complete coincidence. Fate. The universe. Whatever someone wanted to call it. Maybe it was all telling her they could never work.
Maybe if she hadn’t been bombarded by both families at once, she would have been able to cope with the fallout.
But seeing them side by side?
The utter venom they shot at each other with not only their words but their eyes?
It wasn’t something that could be fixed overnight.
Maybe not ever.
“We should talk,” she whispered.
He reached for a strand of her hair and rubbed it between his fingers. “Whatever you want to talk about, I’m here to listen.”
She screwed her eyes shut and focused on not getting emotional again. She couldn’t fall apart, or he wouldn’t believe her when she told him he needed to leave. Her breath shook when she sucked in the needed oxygen.
“You know I love you, right?”
Royce hummed, his cheek resting against the top of her head.
“Then you know this isn’t an easy decision for me.”
At that, he stiffened. Then he pulled back, and the flash of fear in his eyes nearly made her gasp.
“Penny.”
She placed a finger to his lips to stop him. “Our families are going to tear us apart, Royce.”
“Not if we don’t let them.” His voice was low, and she shivered at the hurt beneath it.
Penny closed her eyes, praying she could remain composed, at least until he was gone. “I’m not going to be the reason you lose your family. You need them just as much as they need you. It’s rare for a family to be as close as you are with—”
“Penny.” His hands came to her upper arms, not forceful, but desperate enough to make her open her eyes. Pain burned in his heated stare. “You are my family now. That doesn’t mean they stopped mattering, but please don’t decide that I have to lose you to keep them.”
Against her will, the tears fell. “You and I both know what it’s like to lose a family member. Now imagine if you lost that times nine. I can’t let that happen.”
“This isn’t just up to you.” Desperation seeped into his voice. “You love me. You said it yourself.”
“And it’s because I love you that I can’t let this continue.” She shook her head, forcing the words out before she lost her nerve. “I have to let you go. You heard your family. They were devastated—”
He pulled back as if her words had physically struck him.
Then he stood, turning away from her with both hands in his hair. “No!” he snapped.
Her eyes widened.
Royce had never, not once, raised his voice to her. Even when he’d been upset with her, he’d used logic and control in speaking to her. Of course, she’d known he was capable of losing his cool. He’d been yelling at his brother, hadn’t he?
But with her?
Never. But the truth was, they hadn’t been together long enough for that side of him to show.
Royce paced the small room, his hands still in his hair. He stopped suddenly and looked at her, his voice rough but no longer loud. ““I won’t let you do it. Not to me. Not to us.”
She closed her eyes once more and took a deep breath as she wrapped her arms around her bent knees. “This isn’t up to you.”
“It’s not only up to you either.” His voice broke on the words.
“We’re married, Penny. We made vows. We promised each other—and God—that we would stand by one another through everything.
Not just when it was easy. Not just when our families approved.
Better or worse. Richer or poorer. Sickness and health. ”
He moved toward her, and she braced herself, but he only dropped to his knees before her.
Finally, his voice lowered to a whisper.
“I’m not leaving you. You’re everything to me.”
Penny pressed her lips together and looked away. Anywhere but at the man whose eyes were rimmed red from his own emotions. She couldn’t bear to see him uncertain like this. He’d always been a rock, knowing what he wanted.
But sometimes reality had to settle in, and people were blinded to it until someone else showed them the truth.
She swallowed down the bile that attempted to make a reappearance. Her eyes locked on the light fixture so she could utter the words that needed to be said.
“We can get an annulment.”
The room temperature felt like it dropped ten degrees all at once.
Goosebumps lifted on her arms, and everything went still. She couldn’t even hear Royce’s ragged breathing. It was only that realization that had her turning her head so she could look at him again.
He was gripping the edge of the couch cushions so tightly, his fingertips had turned white. It was a strange combination, the raw anguish and utter heartbreak she read in his eyes. She was paralyzed by it, unable to find her voice.
Royce had never been someone she was afraid of, and now was no different.
But there was fear.
Penny was terrified she would never be the same.
Not after experiencing what it was like to be loved so openly by the man kneeling before her.
She wanted to take her words back, swallow them down, and beg Royce to forgive her for thinking such a thing.
She wanted to find another way they could all be happy together—where each day wasn’t a fight to keep her nerves in check.
But she wouldn’t.
Deep down, she believed Royce needed this push to realize that family was more important than a love as new as theirs. They were lying to themselves if they believed those roots were strong enough to survive the forces at play in their lives.
Slowly, Royce stood.
She watched him warily as he headed for their room.
The silence was even more unnerving than his outbursts. It was only when he emerged from their room with a duffel bag that she shot to unsteady feet.
She nearly opened her mouth to ask him to stay.
At least for breakfast.
Instead, she clenched her jaw tight.
This was what she’d said she wanted.
Royce shook his head as he pulled on his shoes.
“I’ll have my lawyer get in touch,” she finally allowed herself to say.
His head snapped to hers, and he straightened to his full height before walking toward her.
He didn’t touch her.
Somehow, that made it worse.
“This isn’t over, Penny.” His voice was low and wrecked. “Clearly, you need space. You need to think things through and decide if this is really what you want.”
A tear slipped down her cheek.
“I know what I want,” he said. “I want you. I want our marriage. And I’m not signing paperwork that says otherwise unless you can look me in the eye and tell me, after you’ve had time to breathe, that you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
He looked like he wanted to kiss her.
For one awful, aching second, she wanted him to.
But he didn’t.
He only held her gaze as if memorizing her.
Then he turned and left.
It was only after Royce had closed the door behind him that she allowed herself to crumple back to the couch and sob for everything she’d lost, for a future she couldn’t allow, and for the piece of her heart she wasn’t sure she’d ever get back.