14
Penny
“Of course you did,” I murmur to myself as I glance down at Beckett’s third message of the day.
FUCKFACE: Got here early. Parked right by the entrance.
With a deep breath, I do my best to shake off the sick feeling swirling around in my stomach, shove my phone back into the pocket of my flowy black linen pants and turn my attention back to the matter at hand.
“Okay, I’ve written everything down, but really all I need you to remember is to pull that pie out of the oven in,” I pause and look up at the clock hanging above the small window to my left, “nine minutes. Everything else is done. There should be plenty in the fridge and the cake display to get us through to the end of the day, and I’ll come in early tomorrow to make sure everything’s good to go before we open. Just do the dishes as they build up and put everything back where you found it.”
Izzy, our part-time waitress, nods at me, her eyes as wide as saucers. “Okay. Nine minutes. Got it.”
“Not a minute longer.”
She nods again, more enthusiastically this time, forcing a few strands of her short, newly dyed copper hair to fall from behind her ear. “Nine minutes. I’ll set a timer on my phone.”
“Good thinking,” I reply with a wink, taking one last look around my kitchen. “Alright, I’m out of here.”
While this room may be the most aesthetically boring in the cafe, considering even our staff room is decked out with antique furniture and pink walls, it’s still my favourite, because it’s mine . I handpicked every appliance in here and had the stainless-steel bench in the middle of the room custom made to be the exact height, width and length I need.
It’s not often I leave someone in here without supervision, but this ultrasound is far too important to reschedule.
When I finally exit the room and glance around the dining area, I let out a sigh of relief. Our remaining customers have their food. The empty tables are cleared and clean, and Evie is standing beside Joe, one of our regulars, grinning from ear to ear, while Alex, our only other employee, shamelessly flirts with Carol; a much older, married , customer, who only seems to come in on the days he’s working.
I get it, though. She likes the attention. Her husband’s a bit of an asshole, spends far too much time at the office, and Alex does look like a muscular Seth Cohen.
Once I’ve swiped my keys from the drawer underneath the cash register, I wave at Evie to grab her attention, and immediately, her big brown eyes meet mine.
“I’m leaving,” I mouth at her while pointing at the front door.
She nods, and smiles, and I feel like an asshole for not only keeping this from her, but for leaving her, Izzy and Alex to handle everything themselves while I attend my ‘doctor’s appointment’. I really should have asked Molly to put off moving the rest of Ryan’s stuff into her place today, despite Evie’s insistence that she’d be fine, but I knew, if I did, she’d have questions. Questions I’m not prepared to answer until after this appointment.
So, reluctantly, I drag my feet across the shop floor, car keys clutched tightly in my right hand, and I leave them to it, while reminding myself that I can tell her everything tonight.
I just have to get through this first…
Beckett
Twenty-five minutes after parking as close to the entrance of the hospital as possible, Penny pulls up beside me. She turns her head, and we make eye contact through the car windows.
Her tight, forced smile lets me know she’s still pissy, and I get why. I came on strong the last time we spoke. I’d apologise if I was sorry. But I’m not. I meant every word I said.
When she looks away, I jump out and catch her car door just as she opens it. She gasps, and looks up at me with those big, beautiful hazel eyes, the green in her irises more prominent than the brown today.
“Hi,” she says, her voice clipped. Guarded.
“Afternoon, Love.” The term of endearment comes out naturally, and for once, she doesn’t say anything. She does, however, refuse to take the hand I offer to help her out of the car, but I let that one slide and call the interaction a win.
“You’re coming in, I take it?” she asks, her eyes on the giant building behind me as she tugs at the hem of her oversized, bright pink, graphic t-shirt.
“Damn straight.”
I called the radiology department last week and tried to talk my way into the ultrasound room, but the best they could offer me was a seat in the waiting room, so that’s where I’ll be.
With a roll of her eyes, she throws her small black nylon handbag over her shoulder and steps around me. “Well, come on then.”
Don’t have to ask me twice.
Together, we walk through the hospital, take the lift to the third floor, follow the signs directing us to the correct department, and then finally, after getting lost twice, we reach the desk of an almost unbearably bubbly, curly haired receptionist with a giant name tag stuck to the front of her blue scrubs that reads, ‘Hello, my name is Cheryl.’
“Good morning!” She practically sings at us. “How can I help?”
Penny side eyes me before rummaging around in her handbag and pulling out the form I found in her purse almost two weeks ago. As she slides it across the desk to Cheryl, I realise her hand is trembling.
Without thinking, I place my palm on the small of her back, my body needing to comfort hers no matter how bad things have been between us lately, and to my surprise, she relaxes a little. Her shoulders drop, and she exhales quietly, as if relieved by the contact.
Once we’ve been checked in, we’re ushered over to a pair of chairs sitting directly in front of two large, grey, double doors, and told we’ll be seen shortly.
Penny’s basically vibrating with anxiety from beside me; bouncing her leg up and down while picking at the skin of her thumbnail, so after glancing over at Cheryl to find her chatting away on the phone, I lean over and whisper, “You okay?”
“I’m scared.” Her confession is hushed, and her shoulders hunch as the words leave her mouth.
I nod, moving my gaze to the still closed doors in front of us, worried that if I look at her, it might spook her. “I’m nervous too-”
“No. I’m…” She sighs, and I watch from the corner of my eye as she turns toward me. “What if I’ve hurt the baby?”
That has me looking right at her. “What do you-”
“I haven’t felt it move. Not once,” she says, running her hand down her t-shirt, revealing the small swell of her stomach underneath. Honestly, you’d never guess she was this far along in her pregnancy. She doesn’t look any different. Hell, I’ve seen her more bloated after eating an entire pizza to herself.
“I’m sure that’s normal-”
“No. Just listen ,” she says, her now wide eyes holding mine.
So, I do. I stop trying to solve the problem, and I listen .
“Those first few weeks, I was drinking all the time. I was barely eating or sleeping. I know my blood work came back fine, and the dating scan looked good, but what if…”
My stomach clenches painfully, but I do my best not to react. I hadn’t even considered the possibility that there could be something wrong.
And now it all makes sense. Why she wanted to keep this to herself. Why she hasn’t told Evie or Molly. Why she didn’t want me to know about this appointment, or the first ultrasound.
She dips her chin and whispers, “I’ll never forgive myself if…”
“Hey,” I say, grabbing her hand and holding it between both of mine, squeezing gently and pushing my own mini freak out aside. “None of this is on you, Love.” And I know the statement’s true, ‘cos it’s on me. “You didn’t know. Plus, from what I’ve read, it’s pretty common not to feel the baby move until after twenty weeks. Even later if you’ve got an anterior placenta. Ask them that, when you’re in there, actually.”
As if on the verge of tears, she sniffs, and then she takes my fucking breath away by giving me the most incredible smile. “You’ve been reading about this?”
There she is…
There’s my girl.
“Hm?” I hum, still staring at her mouth, unable to look away.
When was the last time she smiled at me like that?
“You’ve been reading about pregnancy? ”
That’s an understatement.
I’ve purchased every book on the topic I could get my hands on at our local bookstore, and I’m still waiting for three more to arrive in the mail. Reading about what Penny’s experiencing, or going to experience, is the only thing that’s kept me sane for the past few weeks.
“Damn right,” I say as she cocks her head to the side. “I need to know what’s going on in there, so when you freak out like this again, I can drop some knowledge on you and save the day.”
Her lip’s part, as if she wants to say something else, and I hold my breath in preparation, but before she can, the doors in front of us open, and we both look over just as a woman in vibrant, deep blue scrubs, smiles at us in greeting.
“Ms. McIntyre?” the woman asks, walking over and offering her hand to Penny as she stands. “I’m Laura. I’ll be performing your ultrasound today. It’s lovely to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you.” Penny’s response is so soft. So unsure.
Nothing shakes Penny. If this is appointment has her this unsteady, should I be worried?
After shaking Penny’s hand, and then mine, Laura passes Penny a light blue mask to wear for the duration of her appointment and then leads her back through the double doors and out of sight.
Cherly is nice enough to bring me a cup of tea while I wait. I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t actually drink tea, so, instead; I nurse it, finding a small amount of comfort from the warmth of the mug between my hands as I spend the next hour staring at the closed doors.