Chapter 17 Jaylynn
Jaylynn
I tilt my chin in mock indignation as I tug Penn toward the grand ballroom. “I won, which means we’re doing what I want.”
“You won?” His voice drips with disbelief. “Oh, puleeeze.” He drags the word out with such dramatic flair I almost snort. “What you did doesn’t even qualify as a win.”
I bite back a laugh. “Excuse me? I sunk every single ball, including the black one. That’s literally the definition of winning a game of pool.”
His eyes gleam wickedly. “Every time I lined up a shot, you lifted your shirt and flashed me. That’s called cheating.”
I blink my lashes innocently. “Is it my fault you’re so easily distracted?”
The next thing I know, his hands are on my waist. He hoists me effortlessly into the air, spinning me until I squeal. “Yes,” he growls, grinning up at me. “It’s absolutely your fault.”
My laughter spills out, loud and free, as his lips brush the sensitive curve of my neck.
Heat licks through me. God, I love this playful side of Penn—the side that laughs and teases, the side that lets me in.
Sure, things got heavier earlier, my words poking at the fears he tries to bury.
Fear of not measuring up, fear of being benched, fear of being abandoned all over again.
But right now? He’s light. He’s alive. And I ache to keep him here.
When he finally sets me down, I blow a strand of hair from my face. I probably look like a complete mess, but the way his eyes darken as they track me… Yeah, he’s definitely not bothered.
I slip from his arms and dart toward the storage closet, tugging free a dusty box of costumes. “Okay, show time.”
His groan echoes through the room. “You’re not seriously making me do this.”
“Yes,” I say sweetly, dragging out the word. “I won. My rules.”
His shoulders slump like I’ve just sentenced him to death by karaoke. “Jay, I can’t sing.”
“Who cares?” I shake my phone. “I’ll play the music. You just have to…pretend.” With a triumphant flourish, I toss him a white suit jacket from the box. “Here.”
He stares at it like it’s a crime against the fashion world. “Really? You think I can squeeze into this? It’s three sizes too small.”
I cock my head. “Hmm. True.” I dig out another one, slightly bigger but still far from his size. I grin wickedly. “Stuff yourself into this. It’ll be hot.”
“Jesus.”
I pull out the white dress I wore years ago, the one that won’t fit me now either. But I don’t care. “Come on. I want to sing and dance.”
His lips curve into a grin, as he shakes his head. “Fine. But only because I can’t say no to you.”
My heart does a little flip. God help me, I like that too much.
“What if we filmed it?” I tease, eyes sparkling. “You, doing a play just for me? Adorable. And for once you’d be in the spotlight in a good way.”
He narrows his eyes. “You are not filming this. No one is ever seeing me in that getup. Besides, Rowyn already has enough footage from yesterday. Plus, she’ll get more when I play ‘nice’ Santa and don’t punch myself in the face.”
I laugh as he wrestles with the jacket, watching his broad shoulders strain against the seams. Meanwhile, I shake out the dress and drape it over a chair. Then I hook my fingers under the hem of my sweater and tug it over my head.
That’s when I feel it. Penn’s gaze on me, hot and heavy.
“Turn around,” I murmur, my cheeks heating.
He cocks his head, eyes glittering with disbelief. “Really?”
“Yes,” I insist, trying for firm but hearing the crack in my own voice.
And he just stands there, daring me with that look that says I’d have to be insane to think he’s going to miss a second of this.
“Babe,” he says, moving toward me like an animal stalking its prey and a hot streak of want races through me. My God, the man is hot when he acts all possessive. “I’ve been inside of you.”
He runs his fingers down my arm. His touch, along with his words, bring on a shiver.
“Yeah, that’s true,” I manage to get out.
His hands trail up, brush my hair from the curve of my neck. He focuses in on that spot of my throat that sends shivers through me, and wets his lips. “So why do you feel weird about getting naked in front of me?”
“I don’t know.” I glance at the window. We spent a long time in the games room playing and now dawn is upon us.
Early morning rays of light are filtering through the glass, casting long shadows across the floor.
“I guess because…it’s the light of day, and this situation feels different and you’re really going to look at me.
” Am I worried that he won’t like what he sees?
No one has to tell me I’m not his usual type.
But I do see the way his eyes glaze with lust when we’re naked together.
Heck, maybe this really is all for show and underneath this nice guy image, he’s just a brute who punches Santa.
Do you really believe that, girlfriend?
No, not really. But maybe I’m just worried about getting my heart broken.
Ah, there it is.
“Don’t you remember?” he asks, his tone deep, husky. “Last night you told me to look.”
“I guess I did.” I flick my lashes slowly. “I think, I’m just not used to anyone looking at me the way you do, and right now, under these bright lights.” I point to the window. “And dawn….” I let my words fall off, because I don’t want to say…it makes this all feel too real.
“You feel seen,” he says quietly, finishing my sentence.
I nod, but I wonder if he really knows what he’s saying.
That for the first time in my life, I do feel seen…
seen as more than the girl who was humiliated at the Christmas festival, more than the girl who wore light up pants and people laughed at.
The girl who lost her job and was publicly ridiculed for being incompetent, and had to come crawling home.
Right now, however, I feel seen as more. I feel admired, cherished. Honestly, no man has ever made me feel the way this one does. And that scares me. What if it really is all just for fun, for the act. One I set into motion, because clearly I was never as bright as those light-up pants.
After I’ve been quiet for too long, Penn backs up a bit and says, “Jay, if it makes you uncomfortable—”
My heart jumps at the warm sincerity in his tone, the way he wants to respect my space and boundaries. “Do you want to look?”
“Always.”
That one answer. So honest and simple. I take a step back, and work the buttons on my blouse. I let it fall, and then kick off my pants, standing in front of him in only my bra.
He gives a small shake of his head, his eyes briefly closing like he’s in agony. “You are so goddamn perfect.”
My throat tightens, and when his eyes lock on me again, and my heart starts hammering, I know I’m in real trouble here.
But I can’t go there with him. This is a fake relationship, and in two weeks he’s back in Boston and I might never get out of Snowberry.
I’m going to damn well try, but I’ve failed before.
Needing to lighten things, I grin. “Wait, is this a distraction? A way for you to get out of singing and dancing in a musical?”
His lips curl up, the hungry look in his eyes still there, but dimming. “Is it working?”
“No,” I blurt out, and grab the dress. I pull it over my head, and contort, nearly putting a rib out as I try to get into it. Once it’s on, I try to breathe.
“That might have been more entertaining than the strip tease you did last night.”
I smack him. “Stop. I feel like a stuffed sausage.”
“This was your idea,” he laughs.
I put one hand on my hip and glare at him. “So, you’re saying I do look like a stuffed sausage?” I challenge.
“Yes, and I look like…” He tugs on the arms of the suit, but they won’t reach his wrists.
“A popped sausage?” I suggest.
“Well, I was going to say, dangerously irresistible, but I think your description is more accurate.”
I go up on my toes and kiss him. “Two things can be true at once,” I joke. I crinkle my nose and look around. “I wish there was a karaoke machine.”
“I don’t.”
“It was for your benefit. To help you learn the words.”
“You know they don’t really get married in Mamma Mia.”
“So, you have seen it.”
“It’s kind of a classic, Jay,” he huffs out, looking a bit sheepish. “I guess Donna and Sam got married.”
The fact that he knows that makes me laugh. “Ohmigod, you’re killing me.” I twirl in the bohemian dress. “I kind of like that Sophie and Sky head off to see the world.” I grin. “Let’s sing the song from the beach scene. Lay all your love on me.”
“Shouldn’t we be in bathing suits for that? On a beach, not locked in a country club during a snowstorm?”
I roll my eyes at him as he tugs on the sleeves again. “We’re working with what we have, Penn.”
I find the song, and put up the lyrics on my phone. “Okay, you sing Sky’s part, and I’ll sing Sophie’s part.”
“Yay.”
I whack him and laugh. “Where’s your enthusiasm?”
“Must be back at the peppermint room. Maybe the scary elf stole it.”
Ignoring his grumpiness, I put on the song, and give him the phone. I don’t need to read the words. I know them by heart.
“Let’s go.”
He starts, a little stiff, and I twirl around him, grinning like a fool when he stumbles over the words. But he keeps going. He’s trying. For me. And that makes my chest ache in the best way. Honestly, I couldn’t love him more for it.
Love.
No, not love. Appreciation is more like it.
I belt out the next few lines and he stands there and watches me perform.
His smile is soft, proud, like I’m the only thing worth seeing in the whole world.
The best part? He doesn’t dim me. He doesn’t tease me for being too much.
He lets me shine, and then shines with me.
I hold my hand out to him and he comes to me, and then I point to the phone because he’s missing his lines.
“Oh, right.” He glances at the phone as I take his hand and spin around him.
He belts out the lyrics and a joy I haven’t felt in a very long time…
a joy I might not have ever felt in my life…
wraps around my soul and hugs tight. We sing and dance and laugh and by the time the song is over we’re both breathless and laughing like fools.
“You’re incredible,” he says and pulls me to him. “You were meant for the stage, Jay.”
I shut my phone down and that’s when I hear it. My eyes go wide. “Penn.”
He glances over his shoulder, looking terrified. “What? It’s not the twins, is it?”
That makes me laugh all over again. “No, I think I hear a truck. Maybe the plow is here.” In that moment, I have mixed feelings. Sure, we need to get out of here because I have a job to do, but I could stay locked away with Penn like this, for at least another week, and never get tired of him.
Just then my phone rings and I nearly jump out of my bohemian dress. “It’s my mom.” I slide my finger across the screen and realize she’s video messaging.
“Mom.”
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, uh. We were up.” I jerk my head toward the window. “I think the plow is here.”
“That’s why I was calling. We got a hold of Frank early and sent him straight to the club.” She narrows her eyes. “Did you guys get any sleep?”
“A bit,” I say, and she narrows her eyes even more.
“Are you wearing a…wedding dress?”
“Oh, yeah, uh. We were…”
“Oh, Jaylynn. You were seeing if the country club was a good fit for your wedding. I’m so happy you’re considering it.”
“Hi, Judy,” Penn interrupts like he’s trying to come to my rescue. He stands behind me and gives a strange wave.
“Penn, look at you in a white dress coat. So handsome.”
“Jesus,” he murmurs under his breath.
“Um, we should go. Check on the plow,” I say, desperate to cut this off before she starts Googling catering packages.
“Right. Okay, drive home safely.” She gives me a big smile that makes my heart sink into my stomach. “I’m so glad you’re considering the country club, Jaylynn.” With that I end the call and turn to see Penn running his fingers through his hair and blowing out a rough breath.
“So…” I begin. But I can’t find my words because I secretly love the idea of a wedding here, and even though it’s ridiculous and foolish and Penn and I aren’t a real couple, I can’t help but imagine what it would be like standing here, in real wedding attire, exchanging vows.
He exhales sharply. “That couldn’t have gone any worse…”
My heart plummets, but that’s crazy. I mean, come on. Did I really expect him to want to set a date, to follow through with the wild, glittery, slightly unhinged, hot toddy-fueled idea?
Sheesh.