Chapter Thirteen
Working in the greenhouse brings me peace.
It helps to clear my mind of all the spinning thoughts I can’t get control over.
It also helps that Aggie is here with me, entertaining Lily.
Today she's trying to teach her about planting tomato seeds.
Lily is doing well, if you don't look at the soil all over the ground.
"Loot, mommy! I pwanted maters for Coopa!"
"I bet Cooper loves tomatoes, baby"
“He does.” She glares at me with furrowed brows. How dare I agree with my four year old going on fourteen.
At that precise moment the man running rampant in my mind walks into the greenhouse with Tommy.
"Coopa! I made you maters!” Lily runs to him holding the seed starter in her two little hands.
"How did you know tomatoes are my favorite vegetable?" He leans down, taking the small pot of dirt from her.
"Towd you, Mommy!” she says with too much sass for someone who needs me to wipe her butt still.
I roll my eyes in Aggie's direction as she holds her belly from laughing so hard. She is zero help.
Composing myself, I turn to Lily. “I just knew he would, love.”
She cuddles in Cooper’s arms after asking him to pick her up and I can’t help but sigh. Her attitude lately makes me feel like I’m failing at this whole mom thing.
He leans down to whisper in her ear. I can’t hear what he’s saying from over here, but when he’s done she has a small pout on her lips.
“Sowwy, Mommy. I won’t be wude anymo.”
“Thank you for apologizing, love.” I walk over and kiss her forehead.
The most important thing that has me ready to throw in all my fears and give all of this a real go, is his unwavering support of me as a mother, and the manners that I try to instill in my girl. Even when I’m ready to throw in the towel.
He places Lily back on the stool next to Aggie for them to continue planting before coming over to my station.
“Would I be able to entice you to join me at Rebels this weekend with the whole crew? Everyone is going Saturday night and I was hoping you would join me.”
Tommy speaks up before I can. “She would love to.”
I shoot him a look with my lips in a tight line. He just shrugs.
“Sounds like I have two very willing babysitters.”
“You know the choice is yours, Aubrey. I’d never force you.” He whispers into my ear.
“I know. I want to.” I say quietly, staring up at him.
The pull to kiss him is strong, but I’m acutely aware of my audience that no doubt has all eyes firmly planted on both of us.
Before leaving he kisses my cheek and pulls away. “I can’t wait.”
He joins Tommy, grabbing supplies to put wire around the trunks of the fledgling apple trees.
When they’re gone, Aggie is on me instantly. “Girl. What was that? The tension was so hot, I thought we might have to cover someone’s eyes and haul tail.”
I scoff. “Please. It was not like that.”
“It was. That man has it bad for you, Aubrey. Let him in.”
Stopping what I’m doing, I look at her. “What about Jack? Isn’t it too soon?”
“Oh my girl, I love Jack, but I’m also under no delusions of the type of man he was.
He wasn’t like my Tommy in any way. But, you seemed happy, and we love you.
And Lily May. But I see it in your eyes how Cooper makes you feel.
Cooper will love you like Tommy loves me.
You deserve that type of love. No matter when it finds you. ” She pulls me in tight for a hug.
With tears streaming down my face, I hug her tight back. “Thank you so much, Aggie. I think that’s just what I needed to hear. I’ve been so afraid to hurt you by moving on.”
“Nope. We aren’t doing that. Never feel bad for being loved.”
Lily squeezes between us, looking up at both our faces with her eyebrows furrowed. “Why awe you sad, Mommy? Why twying?”
“I’m not sad, love. I’m just happy. Mommy’s heart is just so full of love, I can’t hold it in.”
She hugs both our legs. “My heawt is full too! I wuv evewyone!”
Can this really work with Cooper? Could he really want an overwhelmed single mom who’s trying her best to make it through each day?
It took less than an hour for Aggie to spread the news that I agreed to go to Rebels. In two hours, I had a whole day planned on Friday to go shopping with the girls for the occasion.
Now I’m in the car with Emma, Violet, Evelyn, and Willow driving to Tidal Rose Boutique.
“Soooo you and Cooper?” Emma smiles at me in the rear view mirror.
“It’s not like that. We’re friends.”
Evelyn snorts. “With benefits.”
I choke.
“Told you.” She smiles at me.
“It’s not… not like that.” I try to redeem myself.
“Bullshit.” Willow turns from the passenger seat and smiles at me just like Evelyn.
“It’s not. We’re not dating. We haven’t had the conversation yet. Besides, we've only hung out once without Lily. You can’t date someone you only see with your kid.”
“I heard he kissed you on the cheek… in front of Aggie and Tommy. Sounds an awful lot like he’s claiming you as his, girl.” Violet leans forward from the third row of Emma’s mom-mobile, making kissing noises.
“Ugh. I don’t know why he did that.”
“Tell me you haven’t kissed my brother and I’ll make these three leave you alone.” Emma purses her lips, daring me to lie to her.
My cheeks heat. “I can’t do that.”
“I fucking knew it!” Evelyn slaps my arm.
“You kissed him? Like on the mouth? With tongue? What are we talking about here?” Willow fully turns in her seat, staring at me for the explanation.
“Oh my gosh. Do any of you know how embarrassing this is?”
A chorus of yeses resound around the car.
“Fine. We’ve done everything but sex. I’ve kissed him on the lips, with tongue, and on his…”
“Cock?” Violet so sweetly offers.
“Yes.” I shrug away from their eyes.
“But no sex yet?” Evelyn clarifies.
“No. It feels too… intimate, I guess? I mean I just lost my husband, like, six months ago. Isn’t it too soon to be dating?”
“It’s whenever you want. Whatever is right for you. Trust me, none of us have the perfect story. All of us have our own tragedies and imperfect moments. Do what feels right for you.” Violet hugs me from behind.
“Yeah, don’t stress about it. Cooper is head over heels for you. He doesn’t need to tell me that for me to know. That boy does not hide his emotions. Ever. Never has. Whatever he’s thinking is written all over his face. And he is down baddddd for you.” Emma gives me a little info on him.
She parks outside the boutique and Evelyn unbuckles her seatbelt, but doesn’t get out. “We are going to make sure you look irresistible tomorrow night. Come on!”
The four women hop out of the car and I’m left reeling in the backseat trying to get my mind around whatever is happening. Between Aggie and the girls, I’m feeling silly for thinking it wouldn’t work.
Before I can even look at anything I have everyone tossing clothes in my direction and the owner directing me to a dressing room with a glass of champagne.
Champagne that I quickly realize I will need.
Mixing and matching the outfits that the girls brought me, trying to mix my style and sexy isn’t an easy feat.
I finally step out in a pair of flared jeans with a simple black cropped tee with wedge sandals on my feet.
“Oh, yessss. Yes. Yes. Yes. Immediate purchase.” Evelyn slaps her knee to emphasize.
Emma is shaking her head. “Nah. Black isn’t it. She needs a color. A bright pop of color. Purple.” She takes off into the boutique returning with a lavender tee.
I’m sent back in to change and re-emerge in the purple.
“Yup. That’s it.” Violet and Hazel nod their heads in agreement with Evelyn and Emma.
“You need these too. To be sexy when he rips that outfit off you.” Willow hands me a deep plum lace bralette with an elongated torso, and matching boy shorts. “The bralette will probably peek through under the tee at the hem. you’ll drive him absolutely insane. Trust me.”
Being sent back in for my third trip into the dressing room, I slip off my comfy cotton granny bra with holes, and slip on the lace bralette. Of course Willow was right, and the scalloped edges of the bra peek out from under the hem of the basic tee.
Emerging once more, I’m met with four slack jawed women.
“Buy that now.” Emma nods furiously and so do the others.
I turn to stare at myself in the mirror, trying to tug the shirt down over my exposed midriff. “You guys, I had a baby. I don’t think I’m meant to wear crop tops.”
“No. We don’t do this in Hazel’s slice of heaven.
Here we are confident. Here, we wear what we look sexy in, not what we feel comfortable in, we’re going to push the comfort zones.
” Willow holds my shoulders as she stares at me in the mirror.
Holding my gaze while she makes sure I’m listening to every word.
“We wear what we feel sexy in.” I repeat.
I guess I’ll leave the worry for tomorrow and pull out my credit card to handle Hazel.
“Oh, it’s paid for.” Hazel tells me.
“What… how?”
“Cooper called me earlier, I’ve got his card on file for whatever you wanted to buy.” Hazel taps the notebook sitting on her desk.
“He… I… How?” I don’t even know how to speak words.
“He told me to tell you, don’t argue with Hazel. Get whatever you want, and whatever is going to make you feel good.”
Tears spring to my eyes. How does this man always know what I need? Because now that I’m looking at the price tags, it would have put a big dent in my practical budget.
“Just say thank you and add an extra lingerie set.” Evelyn laughs.
But I spy a silk nightgown across the shop that doesn’t leave much to the imagination in a cream and navy floral pattern. I reach up and quietly bring it to the checkout with the rest of my clothes.
“This too.” Hazel smiles, and packages everything up for me while the rest of the girls try on their outfits.
Me: You didn’t have to do that. >
Cooper: Are you happy with what you got?
Me: The jury is still out on that. But the girls are happy.
Cooper: I’m sure you’ll look amazing in anything you wear. P.S. I really like purple.
Me: Did you tell Emma that?
Cooper: Are you asking if I discussed my sexual fantasies about you with my sister? If you are, the answer is hell no.
Me: Sexual fantasies about me?
Cooper: Have you seen you? Images of you soapy in that shower star in my daily fantasies, even when I don’t want them to play.
Me: I’m not that special.
Cooper: Don’t put yourself down with me. You are gorgeous. And I’d count myself the luckiest son of a bitch the day I get to touch you again if you let me.
Me: Keep playing your cards right, mister.
Cooper: One day I’ll call you Missus.
Cooper: I’ve seen those three dots appear and disappear. I’m sorry for pushing you out of your comfort zone, but I can see it so clearly. A life with you and Lily. Don’t freak out about it.
Me: I’ll try. I’d like not to be this girl.
Cooper: Never change.
I smile at my phone. Never change. He likes me for me, he wants me at my lowest. And that is by far the sexiest thing a man can do.