Chapter 7
“Aunt Ellie, I’m so hungry.”
Lissie sat on the toilet seat lid and waited for me to finish in the shower. I’d seen her do the same with Isabel hundreds of times.
“I’m just about done, then we’ll have some breakfast. But wait for me, Lissie...I don’t want you to leave the bedroom without me. Tell me how you’re feeling right now.”
“I don’t know. I…I just wanna cry.”
I quickly rinsed out my hair.
“It’s okay to cry, sweet girl. And it’s okay to be sad. You know that, right? You can tell me about anything you’re feeling.”
Just like her mother always had, Lissie avoided talking about the hard stuff.
“Are those guys still here?”
“Yes, they are here. Do you remember their names?”
“I remember Will.”
“Yes, and Ben is the big one with dark hair. John is the younger one who looks like Will.”
“Are they the good guys, like superheroes?”
I slipped into my bathrobe.
“Well, not exactly, but they are here to help us.”
I took hold of her chin, thumbing the little dimple there, and kissed her forehead.
“I know you’re sad…and you’re really scared. Me too. I don’t have any answers right now, but I promise you I’ll figure this out. But for now, I think we’re safer if these men stay with us. I’ll never leave you, Lissie. I love you.”
Those last three words had never left my lips in that order before, not for anyone.
I knew nothing about love or being a mother, and I couldn’t have been more unprepared to be her guardian.
Isabel once told me you only needed to know how to love to be a parent.
“That counts me out,” I had said.
She’d understood me, that I confessed to never loving anyone other than her and our gran. And even that hadn’t been an affectionate kind of love.
But that was my fault. My fault that my heart didn’t know how to love. I never gave it a chance, instead choosing to paint my view of life inside the boundaries of my head rather than to actually live it. Pile on the preoccupied English grandmother who raised me.
Maybe it was also my parents’ fault…for abandoning me.
Or maybe I just didn’t have it in me.
I shut my eyes and shook my head to clear it all away.
“Let’s get you something to eat, Lissie.”
I smiled when she looked up at me with her beautiful eyes.
We hit the kitchen, empty now, and inside of thirty minutes, I had cooked a ham and cheese omelet, and Lissie had devoured it.
As we were about to go outside and sit on the veranda with John, Lissie broke into tears. She wailed like an abandoned child might, like a child left with only pain and the idea of loneliness…something I understood very well.
Lissie’s heartbreak was the worst thing I’d ever seen.
I dropped onto the floor and pulled her to me, holding her as tightly as I could without hurting her.
She cried and she cried as grief wrecked her little soul.
“My mama’s n-never coming b-back...my-my m-mama…”
Please, God, please. Tell me what to do. Help me help her.
We sat on the kitchen floor for thirty minutes until eventually her sobbing became softer and softer. I used a kitchen towel to wipe away the last of her tears.
Will walked in just as I pulled Lissie up from the floor.
Feeling his presence, she turned and fixed her gaze on him.
His jaw dropped, and his eyes widened.
The two of them stared at each other—with eyes the same.
When Lissie turned back to me, her blue eyes burned with the same intensity as his.
So very badly I wanted to ask her what she’d found in his eyes, wanted to ask her if she recognized a small part of herself.
Did she see family in his eyes?
But I didn’t. Instead, I hid my surprise behind a smile.
“I have art supplies in the hallway closet. Choose your favorite colors and wait for me in the bedroom. I’ll be there soon.”
Lissie stared at Will again as she skipped away, once again a cheerful seven-year-old.
I exhaled heavily.
Will crossed the room, meeting me by the sink.
“Are you all right, Ellie?”
I nodded but also avoided his eyes. I’d fallen apart on him the night before.
“Come closer,” he said.
Slowly, I moved into his warm space.
He lifted my chin, forcing eye contact. Maybe he expected more tears, but none fell.
“Ben told you about Detective Parker?” I asked.
“Yeah, he told me.”
“He thinks I had something to do with it.”
The pressure of his fingers on my chin increased.
“Did this detective accuse you?”
“No, it’s the way he looked at me.”
Will nodded and let go.
“They will investigate you. He hasn’t filed a report yet. When he does, the police will come back, so stay close to me. I have an associate conducting surveillance in town for a while, but we can’t stay here indefinitely. I’ll give you a day or two, then we must move on. Do you understand this?”
I studied his eyes as he studied mine.
I didn’t know what to say.
Where could I possibly go?
Pain, confusion, loneliness…they all ganged up to haunt me, to trigger my anxiety. But when Will was close, my mind rested more. So yes, I would stay close to him.
“I need you to trust me, Ellie.”
“I’m trying.”
He shifted his weight, pushed back some of my hair.
“Good.”
Then he dropped his hand, hesitating for a minute.
“Lissie’s quite beautiful.”
“Will, her eyes. She looks like?—”
“—quite like Ethan,” he finished.
I didn’t know Ethan, but I supposed he shared the same looks as his brothers.
“My brother wouldn’t bail on his own child, not if he knew about her. You and I will keep this just between us for now. I can’t assume anything further without first talking to my brother.”
Will agreed to take Lissie and me outside on the beach.
In exchange for that small amount of freedom, I promised him we would do everything he said and immediately when he said so. No arguments.
He and I sat on the sand watching Lissie sort her collection of shells and stones and color them with the paints I’d given her.
Will’s scent mixed with the seaside smells, and the combination whirled around me.
Goose bumps raised on my arms, even under the hot sun.
“How long have you been here, Will?”
I wanted to hear it from him.
“We came middle of June.”
“Did you come specifically to watch us?”
He straightened his back, met my eyes, and corrected me.
“To watch you. But I have been here before. You’ve seen me.”
“I’ve s—what?”
“You deserve to know the truth, Elle. All of it.”
I stared at him for a moment without blinking, remembering when Gran said my father had called me Elle.
“Thanks for that. I guess I’ve been in the dark all my life, and I want only the truth from now on, even if it hurts. So please don’t hide anything from me.”
“Deal,” he said.
“When were you here, Will? When and where did I see you?”
“The first time I came over, there wasn’t any imminent danger. My father had forbidden it, but I had to see you, to know that you were real. This whole thing, the pact between our families, it all seemed mad to me, like it does for you now.”
Sincerity burned in his eyes, and his words captivated me.
I encouraged him to give me more.
“Go on, Will. Tell me everything, the whole story.”
“You were seventeen. It was during the town’s summer festival. You walked along the main boulevard, laughing, eating ice cream with your friends. Someone in the crowd shoved past you, causing you to fall forward, and I caught you.”
He moved his gaze to the horizon. His eyes seemed unfocused, and a self-indulgent smile curved his mouth.
“You looked up at me, and you smiled. I asked if you were all right, and you apologized. I’ve never forgotten your smile or your beautiful green eyes.”
A sharp breath caught in my throat. I remembered.
When he looked at me again, his smile was gone.
“Four years later, I came back. That time it was impulsive, driven by my ego. I knew it was quite reckless of me…I just didn’t care. You were at university then. I beat someone for following you across campus one night.”
“You did that,” I whispered.
His eyes charged with emotion.
“You should know, Ellie, if you hadn’t turned back, that man would be dead.”
I stared at Will, remembering the guy who had threatened to find me, because I wouldn’t leave the party with him. Jess and I found him lying on the ground, brutally beaten, and we called campus police and 911.
“I’m not a good man. You need to understand that about me.”
I continued staring at him…choosing to see in him only what I wanted to see.
“After that, how long did you stay?” I asked.
“I spent seven more days, trying to convince myself that you needed me.”
“And did I need you…was someone coming after us at that time?”
“No.”
“I don’t know what to say about any of this, Will.”
He shook his head.
“You don’t have to say anything. I left because it was a critical time for me to be in London. Ethan and I executed the partnership agreement for our private equity company two weeks earlier.”
He stood and offered his hand to help me up.
“Back inside now.”
I nodded. I had agreed to do what he said, when he said it.
“Lissie, let’s gather your things. It’s time to go inside,” I said.
Will grabbed my arm as I went to pick up Lissie’s bag.
“I don’t regret anything I’ve done. Keep that in mind.”