Chapter 9
Will sprinted along the shoreline on his way back to the house.
He came up the hill and kept his back to me while crouching with his elbows on his thighs. The muscles in his back expanded and contracted as he caught his breath.
For whatever reason, seeing him like that set me off.
“Where’s my gun?” I demanded.
His head snapped in my direction.
“I’ll manage the weapons.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Whatever. It’s mine, and I want it back.”
He straightened and faced me with his feet wide apart and his arms folded over his chest.
“Do you know how to use it?”
I shrugged.
“How hard can it be?”
He darted up the veranda steps and hovered like a storm.
“You will not touch any firearm unless you’ve learned to use it properly. When you’re quite finished behaving like a fucking brat, we’ll talk about what happens next.”
“Me? You’re the big bastard.”
“You’re behaving like a fucking brat,” he repeated.
God, his sweaty, woodsy-scented heat.
He cocked his head.
I considered slapping the smug expression off his face, but he shook his head in warning, then he jerked me against his chest and rested his cheek on the top of my head.
“Listen, I know you’re scared. And you’re grieving. Let me bear the weight of this burden. You don’t need to think about protection detail. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
I clutched on to his sweaty shirt. I thought I should cry, but I couldn’t feel my sorrow or my pain, not this time.
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I feel anything?
“Elle, I know you’re worried about Lissie, but she’ll be fine. You are my concern.”
I glanced at the glass doors and saw Lissie still lying on the floor with my tablet.
“How can she be fine?”
“If she’s Ethan’s, she’ll be with family.”
I put my forehead against his chest to think.
“Do you really think she’ll be okay?”
Will backed up, whistled at Ben, and pointed at Lissie, then he took my hand.
“Come walk with me.”
As he led me away, and we walked along the shoreline, his mood changed.
Something troubled him.
A little shock of pain shot through my stomach.
“Has something else happened, Will?” I asked.
“We’re running out of time. I want you to agree to come with me.”
“What if I say no?”
He stopped and faced me with an intense stare.
“Agree.”
I still wasn’t sure if leaving the country would be the right thing to do for Lissie.
“But I’m not sure yet.”
“You will agree, so I don’t have to force you onto the fucking plane.”
I pulled back, but his grip was firm.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would.”
“Oh right, because it’s your job to save me.”
He nodded.
“Quite right.”
Something in me shifted. I wanted more than that from him, and I wanted to fight for it. I wanted to be with him from the first moment I saw his face at the parade.
“Why did you pull away last night?” I asked.
“What?”
“If it’s your job to save me, then save all of me…kiss me.”
He stared at me, but he didn’t say anything.
I looked down at the sand.
“Look at me, Elle.”
I slowly moved my gaze up to his.
“You believe I’m one of the good guys, but you’re mistaken. I’m not. I hurt people. Ask me how many lives I’ve ruined…how many lives I’ve taken. Do it. Ask me.”
“I won’t ask. I don’t care about that.”
He grasped my chin. His eyes burned into mine.
“Well, you should.”
“I know my own mind, and I do not care.”
As he stared at my mouth, his own lips parted, then he ran his thumb over my bottom lip.
“You don’t even know what you’re saying. I will not ruin your life.”
It would’ve been easier to walk away and let him have his win. Easier to guard my heart against the danger of more wreckage. But it was too late. My heart had somehow already invested in him.
“How could my life get any worse?” I asked.
I pressed against him and stroked the back of his neck.
“Do you want me, Will?”
His body responded, his eyes burned, his arousal strained between us. He lowered his head. His mouth was near mine.
“You deserve better than what I am.”
His slight whisper, the rumbling of his throat, it made me ache. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted his hands on me. I wanted to touch his face.
But I did nothing.
He’d taken something from me, and I planned to take it back. My decisions were mine. No one, not even Will would take that away from me. I had already lost too much.
I reprimanded him softly, with my lips so close to his.
“Here’s the thing, Will. Idecide the level of emotional risk I’m willing to take. You manage the physical risk, and I’ve accepted that. But everything else is still mine.”
With my hands on his chest, I launched myself away and started walking.
“I decide what I deserve,” I shouted.
“That’s far enough, goddamn it,” he shouted back.
An overwhelming urge to run from him rushed through me. I wanted to get away from him. I wanted to get away from the responsibility of caring for Lissie. Get away from my losses.
So I ran. I raced along the beach.
For just one minute, I wanted to not care that someone wanted to kill me.
I never looked back at Will. I just ran.
But only seconds had passed when he grabbed me from behind and lifted me mid-stride.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Let me go, Will, damn you!”
I twisted to get out of his grip, but he held on too tightly.
“Say you won’t run off again.”
“Go to hell!”
Without any warning, this man tossed me over his shoulder and carried me back to the beach house. He crossed his arm over my thighs to restrain my legs and then gathered my wrists, holding them in one hand behind his neck.
“Christ, Elle, you have a fucking temper.”
I called him names and demanded he let me go, but he just ignored my insults. When he reached to open the kitchen door, I pounded on his back and called him a big bastard again.
He put me down with a furious jolt, pinning my wrists against his chest.
“You will stop this tantrum, or I will smack your arse.”
I pushed him further.
“Fuck you, Will.”
He trapped me against the wall, and his blazing-hot eyes rested on my mouth.
“A good, hard fucking you won’t ever forget is exactly what you need.”
I gasped.
So much heat coming from his body.
I chewed on my bottom lip and matched him stare for stare.
Then he abruptly released me.
“Go to your room, Elle. And do not leave this house.”
Will walked away, his stride so graceful and primal.
His walk projected ego and dominance…
It warned me to do exactly as he commanded.