Chapter 17
Five days after Jade had talked to Finn about whether or not to invite Hector to their wedding she was still no nearer knowing what to do.
He hadn’t encouraged her unequivocally like Sarah had. That wasn’t Finn’s way. He’d suggested she make a list of pros and cons.
‘It’s not so much in the writing of the pros and cons that you get your answer,’ he’d added. ‘It’s the way you feel as you’re writing them. It’s always helped me to clarify things.’
Finn could be very wise sometimes.
Her list had been quite short.
Pros
He’s my father, estranged through no fault of his own, and he’s financially supported me my whole life – even though I didn’t know it – and he obviously wants to connect.
I’ll be glad I asked him because it’s a nice thing to do.
He’ll probably be glad I asked him.
I won’t regret that I didn’t ask him, one day in the future when I know him better.
Cons
If he says no it will feel like another rejection.
If he says yes, how do I introduce him to everyone else?
The main thing Jade felt after she’d written the list was anger at her mother for putting her in this situation in the first place.
She was still undecided about whether or not to invite Hector.
She had a feeling it was going to take years to adjust to having a father around, after spending so long without one.
It had taken quite a while to get used to the knowledge that it hadn’t been his choice.
But it did clarify one thing in her head. She would go and visit her mother’s grave. She usually paid a duty visit on the anniversary of her mother’s death. Even though Jade knew it was illogical. Elizabeth wouldn’t know that she stood there on 21 September every year.
But now she had questions and however illogical it was, Jade felt that maybe she could get some answers by visiting the grave.
She didn’t tell anyone she was going, not even Finn.
The cemetery was in walking distance so she knew she wouldn’t be long.
She slipped out of the rescue centre on Wednesday afternoon when all of the cleaning, feeding and walking of animals had been done and Dawn was in reception, having a well-earned cuppa.
Ten minutes later, Jade was letting herself through the lichen-covered gate of the churchyard, which thudded softly as it swung shut behind her.
Although it was an old cemetery with lots of ancient higgledy-piggledy gravestones, members of the parish could still be laid to rest here today.
Finn’s grandparents were here too, buried in a shared plot. Benjamin and Evie McTaggart. They’d both died within weeks of each other and had been the reason Finn had come back to Arleston. He had said once that it gave him comfort, knowing they were as close in death as they’d been in life.
Unlike Elizabeth, who would never share her final resting place with anyone else.
Jade came to a halt in front of the gleaming milk-white headstone with its marble angel, standing aloft, wings folded, eyes cast forever downwards.
‘I guess you wanted to be alone though, didn’t you, Mum,’ Jade began softly. ‘You didn’t want Dad around, that’s for sure. But what gave you the right to make that decision for me?’
The wind whispered through the trees, shivering the leaves of a nearby yew, and the sun dappled the headstones and sent shadows flickering across the grassy gaps between them.
It was such a peaceful place, frequented only by those who’d gone and the occasional relative who came to grieve their passing.
Jade had a strong urge to stamp her foot.
She must be crazy coming here. Elizabeth had never given her any answers in life and she certainly wasn’t going to do it now. But it didn’t make any difference. She still had to get the questions out of her head.
‘Why didn’t you want him in our lives? What did he do that was so wrong? And why did you bloody well lie about it?’
She could feel the anger bubbling up as it had so many times since Hector had arrived back in her life.
‘Why didn’t you tell me the full story so I could have chosen if I wanted to see him? Why did you never give me any options? Why?’
Aware that she’d almost shouted that last ‘why?’, Jade glanced around quickly to make sure she was still alone. She certainly couldn’t see anyone else nearby. That was one saving grace. Not that, Jade presumed, she was the only person in history who had ever shouted at a grave, wanting answers.
Lots of people must have unfinished business with their deceased relatives. Did anyone ever get any satisfaction by shouting at their graves? She hugged her arms around herself.
She wasn’t getting much here. That was for sure. But at least some of her anger had gone. It had felt good to shout at her mother. They’d never had any real slanging matches when Elizabeth was alive. Mostly because Jade had never dared to answer back. It was different today.
She knew she had grown up hugely since Elizabeth had died.
Since she’d invested most of her inheritance in buying the plot of land that would become Duck Pond Rescue.
Elizabeth would definitely not have approved of that.
But she’d done it anyway, finally rebelling.
Finally becoming the woman she wanted to be.
After a few more long minutes, Jade turned her back on the grave and swung out of the cemetery, her head held high.
She’d always thought that Elizabeth’s wealth and success had come from hard work and struggle, because that’s what she had been told.
Elizabeth had said she’d had to charm investors and work like a trojan to raise the funds to buy the Arleston Court.
But that hadn’t been true either. Half of the money to buy her first hotel had been given to her by her parents, Jade’s grandparents, and Hector had given her the other half.
So in an indirect way, Hector had helped Jade to buy the sanctuary too. Hector’s money had helped to make her dream of rescuing animals a reality. He hadn’t known it, but he had played a huge part in her life in that respect. Food for thought.
She was back home again, less than half an hour after she’d set out. She might not have got much satisfaction from shouting at her mother’s grave. But she did finally know what she was going to do.
When she got back she found Ursula was talking to a couple of fifty-something guys who wanted to rehome a dog. She introduced them to Jade, her face wreathed in smiles.
‘This is Dick and Harry, they’re looking for a little dog. Maybe a Jack Russell with a patch over one eye. I was just telling them about Tom.’
Of course she was. Ursula never missed a trick. Tom wasn’t a Jack Russell with a patch over one eye, he was a dark brown dachshund cross, but the two men were both nodding enthusiastically.
‘Oh my word, a dog called Tom, it sounds like it’s meant to be, doesn’t it, Dick?’ The shorter of the guys had sparkling eyes and an infectious giggle.
‘We definitely have to see him.’ Harry glanced at Jade.
‘We’ve been thinking about getting a dog for ages and we really want a rescue if possible.
We don’t like to think of all those dogs locked up indefinitely.
We used to watch that programme about Battersea Dogs Home with Paul O’Grady. We were big fans of Paul.’
‘Oh, we were. It was such a shame when that man died.’
‘I’ve explained we’d need to do a home visit,’ Ursula went on. ‘And I think I’ve told them everything about our adoption procedure. I was just about to take them down to see Tom. And the other dogs, of course.’
‘Perfect. Thank you.’ Jade watched the trio walk down towards the kennels, the guys still chattering excitedly.
She had no doubt they’d end up with Tom, and he’d have been a good match, even without the name synchronicity.
He was a sweet-natured boy, who’d been given up when his owner had died unexpectedly.
Ursula had probably already told them that too.
Ursula had become one of her favourite people lately, Jade mused.
She was passionate about animal rescue and conservation and all things eco, but Jade realised she knew very little about her personal life.
Their conversations had never strayed into that area, and although Ursula had accepted their invitation to the wedding she’d declined the option to bring a plus one.
Jade made a mental note to try and find out some more. Not because she wanted to intrude – that wasn’t her style – but just because she’d started to look upon Ursula as a friend and it would have been nice to know her story.
Jade had never made friends easily. She and Sarah had always been close and she’d never felt the urge for a big circle of friends, but she’d been more sociable since she’d opened Duck Pond Rescue.
It was hard not to be when she met so many people.
Some of them were amazing; there was only the odd one who reminded her why she preferred animals to her own species.
Not that she and Finn had ventured back into the sociable arena again since the barbecue.
They’d been too busy organising their wedding.
Maybe if they hadn’t all been racing about looking for a lost dog back then she’d have got the chance to talk to Ursula.
But the afternoon hadn’t exactly panned out as expected.
So Ursula was still a mystery. She must have quite a history though.
No one with looks like Ursula’s would have spent her life single.
Dawn, the other person Jade spent lots of time with, was an open book. She was in her late sixties, had one daughter, three grandchildren, had been a dinner lady in her youth, loved bossing people around and was as unflappable as she was reliable.
Jade liked her immensely.
Jade’s train of thought was broken by the arrival of Ursula, Dick and Harry back in reception. They were all smiling.
‘We adore him,’ Dick said. ‘We think he’d be perfect, don’t we, Harry?’
It was obviously a rhetorical question. Harry’s sparkly blue eyes had gone slightly misty with emotion and he clapped his hands in answer. ‘He’d be our little prince.’
‘I’m happy to do the home visit,’ Ursula suggested. Her dark eyes were bright too. ‘I’ve got a bit more time than you. Especially with your wedding so close.’
‘Ooh, are you getting married? How very exciting. We can’t recommend it enough. Thirty-two years, we’ve been a couple.’
‘Blimey, you don’t look old enough,’ Jade said in amazement.
‘Childhood sweethearts,’ Harry said. They linked hands.
‘And never a cross word,’ Dick added. ‘We’re both retired now. Or we’d have got a dog before.’
Jade could believe that about the cross words. They were both so warm.
Ursula arranged a good time to do the home visit and then they all went into reception to do the paperwork.
As the two guys walked back to their car afterwards, via the kennel, to say goodbye to Tom, Jade and Ursula exchanged glances.
‘I wish all of our rehomes were as straightforward as that,’ Jade said.
‘Subject to the home check being OK,’ Ursula reminded her.
But they both knew the home visit was practically a technicality. Little Tom was clearly going to be as loved as he’d been by his previous human.
‘That sounds amazing,’ Finn said when Jade told him about it. He had started the commission of Salisbury Cathedral and he paused from painting and gave her a keen look.
‘So did you get a chance to make that list we talked about? Or did you decide not to bother?’
‘I made it, and then I went to visit Mum’s grave, and I had a good rant at her.’
‘Did that help?’
‘It did a bit. I know there are some answers I’m never going to get. Because only she can tell me them. But I guess I just need to accept that, don’t I?’
‘It might help. I had the same kind of battle with myself, but it was a lot easier for me because Bridie’s still here.
My dad’s still here. And there are some things that neither of them are ever going to tell me.
’ His grey eyes darkened. ‘There’s only so much of the past we can rake up, and to be honest, that’s probably just as well. It’s now that counts.’
‘It is.’ She sighed. ‘I’m glad Hector’s back in my life.
I mean, if I hadn’t wanted him to be I wouldn’t have gone looking, would I?
I keep telling myself that. So I’ve decided that I will ask him to the wedding, and I’ll say he can bring a plus one, which had probably better be my grandmother.
Otherwise the poor man’s not going to know a single soul there. ’
‘Blimey. Big decisions.’
‘Yes, I know. And I know I’m going to have to meet her first too. I can’t just meet her on my wedding day, can I?’
‘I guess you can’t.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘Will you go there or invite them here?’
‘I haven’t got that far. But I think I may have to go there. She’s eighty-four and has quite bad arthritis and it’s a long trip. Two and a half hours each way at least. I mean it might turn out that coming to the wedding would be too much for her.’
‘I suppose you could always meet them halfway. If you like I could drive you? I’m quite happy to sit in the car outside.’
‘You don’t need to do that. I’d like you to meet her too.’
‘Perfect. If you’re sure?’
‘I am. But this is all a bit rhetorical because I need to run it past Hector first. He might think it’s a bad idea. I mean he might not want to come to our wedding anyway. But at least I’ll have asked him.’
‘Great.’ He smiled. ‘On a slightly different subject, Ben loves the Mr Spock and Talky Tallulah video. He says it’s the best thing he and Everley have ever seen.’
‘Did he, bless him. It’s great those two have stayed friends. I hoped they would.’
‘Yes, and it’s taken his mind off the swear words too. So it was good timing.’
Jade smiled. ‘Excellent.’ She paused. ‘I do have another introduction I’d like you to help me with too.’
Finn raised his eyebrows. ‘Another family member?’
‘No… Well, yes. But it’s a four-legged one. I think it’s about time we introduced Buddy to Mickey properly. I thought we could take them for a stroll around in the field tomorrow. They’re both quite sweet natured, so fingers crossed there shouldn’t be any problems.’