Chapter 69
CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE
According to Forbes, a collapse in home sales spurred by rising interest rates will continue into next year. On the bright side, a lesser demand for existing homes will allow those of you with a handy nature to personalize your dream home.
—Beautiful Today
The “For Sale” sign goes up in the front yard of Fallon’s mother’s house five days later. For the last three, there’s been an estate sale. I’ve been on the phone with Austyn continuously while Fallon took off for parts unknown. She assured me, “Fallon went through everything at her mother’s house, Uncle E. Truly, if she wanted it, she’s boxed it up.”
“But what about the house itself?”
My niece sputters. “Are you offering to buy her mother’s home for her?”
“If she wants to hold onto the memories, yes.” I’m standing outside the three-bedroom, two-bath with the detached garage.
“Oh, Ethan.” I hear my sister’s voice through the line.
I grunt. “A little heads up I’m on speaker next time, kid?”
Austyn makes a non-committal sound. “Ungrateful brat.”
“Love you too, Uncle E.”
Paige jumps in. “Ethan, while I think your gesture certainly shows you’re thinking about Fallon?—”
“Way more than before you completely screwed things up!” Austyn shouts.
“Yes, well. Austyn’s right. You still need to explain why things happened.”
I sit down on the front stoop of her mother’s home and warn, “The first person who will hear the full explanation will be Fallon.”
“I think that’s fair. Would you like to speak with a professional?”
“No, Paige. It was work.”
“Work?” Paige parrots.
“Work. And no, I can’t, nor will I, get into more than that unless I’m speaking directly with the woman I love.”
“Then what’s the house about, Ethan?” she queries.
I answer unhesitatingly. “She’s just lost so much recently. Too much. I...I didn’t want her to lose this too. If it was important to her.”
There’s a distinct sniffle in the background. Paige clears her throat. “Well, I think your motives are genuine. Don’t give up, Ethan.”
“I won’t. You’re certain about the house?”
Both Paige and Austyn come back with, “Very!”
“Fine.”
“But, Uncle E.?”
“Yeah, kid?”
“It’s nice to see you’re using your heart to think.”
Sighing, I tell her, “Maybe I should have used my head instead of my heart.”
“What makes you say that?” she asks curiously.
“If I’d done what I was told—waited instead of reacting out of misplaced pride, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I’d still be with Fallon. Sure, I’d have been furious—initially—at the idea of her withholding this from me, but I’d like to think I would have discussed it with her instead of going off half-cocked.” A pregnant pause at the other end of the line tells me what my sister and niece think. I clear my throat. “Anyway. I have to go.”
After leaving Fallon’s mother’s house, I drive around until I reach the cemetery. This isn’t my first visit to speak with Helen, and I’m fairly certain it won’t be my last.
I pull up next to the barrel of flower holders and the worn table with a hole to collect flower clippings and a spigot attached to grey water. After getting the flowers arranged, I make my way over to her newly placed tombstone.
Helen Vale Brookes
Beloved Wife, Mother, Friend
I set the spiked vase into the ground before greeting her as if she were resting against the stone instead of lying beneath it. “Hey, Helen. I don’t know what to say.”
How about telling me how you didn’t keep your promise?
“I completely fucked up,” I admit aloud. A gust of wind bends the deciduous trees, the residual wind whipping my hair around my head. Crouching down, a hand on the top of the stone, I tell her everything—not leaving a detail out.
Not even when the wind turns into rain.
Or the rain turns into sheets of water.
I remain crouched down and confess how I pursued justice instead of love—and not even a justice I personally sought. Finally I conclude my torrent of words by standing, my fingers slipping away. “You can’t be more disappointed in me than I am with myself, Helen. Fallon’s been a part of my heart for years. And in a matter of minutes, I threw us away—who we were, who we were meant to be.” Swallowing hard, I accept the truth. “I just want her to be happy again. If that means letting her go, so be it.”
Leaning down, I press a kiss to the top of the wet stone. “My biggest regret is I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most—when she lost you.”
Having said what I need to, I return to my full height and leave Helen to either dispense more of her wrath or to leave me alone. Maybe it’s not Helen who’s listening, but I manage to make it back to my rental unscathed. Driving through Seven Virtues, I get a feel for Fallon’s life here these past few years. I admire the beauty of the town, the spectacular views, the slice of heaven nestled into the Appalachian mountainside.
I wonder if where she plans on going next—if I could be happy there. Really it doesn’t matter. Because there’s no way I’ll be happy without my heart and I’m never leaving my heart behind while there’s still breath in my body.
Not ever again.