Chapter Eleven
RONAN
Present Day
ITALY
The only thing I hated more than being late was when other people caused that lateness.
Nevertheless, I got to the show before it started and took my seat.
The venue, the art, the clothes—everything about this environment was splendid.
I knew she was doing well; all the reports I’d gotten over the years confirmed she was kicking ass in the industry.
But tonight, there was something more. Her talent was fierce, her vision a masterpiece of inclusivity that left everyone breathless.
The entire room was riveted to the stage, but my gaze was locked on her alone.
I’d grown bored of it all—the endless boardrooms, the predictable forums, even hospital rounds.
But her? Never. She was the one constant, the one spark that never dimmed.
I could watch her forever, and still, it wouldn’t be enough.
As I took in her progress, I felt something tighten in my chest—a pride so fierce it undid me. My eyes misted, a traitorous moment, but I blinked it away quickly. She was extraordinary, and watching her become everything she’d dreamed of was something I could never take for granted.
I was about to give my final applause to the last model, then I instantly caught sight of Nina. God help me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her.
She was… breathtaking. That emerald dress.
I remembered it well; it was the piece she’d painstakingly sketched for months and sewn for nearly a year.
It was also the one I’d let someone model at the Christmas show I’d put on for her years ago.
The deep V-neckline, trimmed with lace, led my gaze down her collarbone, every inch familiar, yet mesmerizing.
When she moved, the dress swayed to the floor with each step, revealing the faintest glimpse of her heels.
It was like she was floating, a vision brought to life.
Then there were those dark, deep brown eyes sparkling under the lights, framed by lashes so thick and long they looked like they were spun from dreams. Her braids, pulled into a high ponytail, caught the light with each movement, each strand glowing as if it were part of some celestial being.
The warmth of her skin, rich and radiant, contrasted beautifully with the dress. I could barely breathe looking at her.
Tiny beads shimmered across her dress like a constellation, shifting with every step.
An emerald pendant rested above her heart, perfectly matched to her gown, while diamond studs and a delicate bracelet adorned with emerald stones added to her effortless elegance.
She didn’t just command attention—she captivated it, and I was helplessly drawn in.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. My mind was racing, and my heart was pounding in my chest.
It felt like the world had come to a standstill, and all I could see was her. The way she moved, the way she smiled—it was all too much, too beautiful.
I must have been staring for too long because Rachel nudged me gently and whispered, “Are you okay?”
I blinked, snapping out of my daze. “Yeah,” I muttered, barely convincing even myself. “Just… Wow.”
She raised an eyebrow but didn’t press further. I couldn’t blame her for being concerned. I was completely mesmerized.
The show ended, and gathering my courage, I got up from my seat and made my way backstage. She most likely didn’t want to see me, especially not after our run-in earlier, but I had to see her.
As I rounded the corner, I saw her embedded in a hug with someone. A sharp pang of jealousy stabbed through me, and I felt my hands clench into fists.
Who the fuck was this person?
Why were they so close to her?
My mind raced with all the worst possibilities, each one fueling my anger.
I approached them, my jaw set and my heart thundering. When I was close enough, I cleared my throat. The sound was louder than I intended, cutting through the surrounding chatter like a knife. They broke apart, and she turned to face me, her eyes widening in shock.
I stood there, frozen in place. The world around us seemed to blur and fade away for a moment. All I could see was her, the surprise etched on her beautiful face. I didn’t know what to say, my mind a chaotic whirl of emotions.
“Excuse us,” I said to the man standing beside her, my tone sharp and my eyes narrowing in barely concealed anger.
He looked back at her, then at me, confusion flickering across his face. “Pardon?”
“I would like to speak to Nina,” I confirmed, my voice low and dangerous, each word laced with simmering rage.
Before he could even respond, I pressed on, my patience wearing thin. “You can move or be removed. Your choice.”
A look of defiance crossed his face as he kissed her cheek. My blood boiled at the sight, a red-hot fury surging through me as he finally walked away.
Nina’s eyes flashed with anger as she walked closer to me, her voice a harsh whisper. “Are you fucking crazy? You don’t get to do that.” She turned to walk off, her posture rigid with fury.
I reached out, grabbed her arm, and reeled her in. The touch sent warmth through me I hadn’t anticipated, a rush of old emotions crashing over me. “Nina—”
“I said no,” she interrupted, her voice cutting through the air like a knife. She pulled her arm free and walked away, leaving me standing there, feeling fucking defeated. “Not here.”
I watched her disappear into the crowd, frustration simmering beneath my skin. I couldn’t leave it like this. My eyes stayed on her, waiting for a moment when she’d be alone.
Time dragged as conversations blurred into the background, my focus locked on her. Finally, she slipped onto a quiet balcony, away from the crowd. This was my chance.
Taking a steadying breath, I followed. The cool night air contrasted with the heat of my emotions. She stood with her back to me, gazing over the city. For a moment, I hesitated, but I had to try.
“Nina,” I called softly.
She turned slowly, her expression unreadable. The moonlight cast a soft glow on her face, highlighting the tension in her features.
“What do you want?” she asked, her tone guarded.
“I… I just want to talk.”
She crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I have nothing to say to you.”
I ran a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling up again. “Then listen.”
She rolled her eyes, gripping the railing tightly.
“Firstly, I didn’t mean to cause a scene. But… I can’t stand the thought—”
“The fucking thought of what, Ronan? Losing me? Me with another man?” she interrupted, her eyes blazing with anger. “Five years too late.”
I swallowed hard, knowing I deserved that. “Ni—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped, her voice shaking with rage and hurt. “I hate you. I hate you for what you did to me. I hate you for every single emotion I feel. I hate you for making me fall in love with you and then leav—”
“That’s un—” I interjected, my voice trembling with a mix of guilt and desperation.
“Unfair?” she asked, her tone incredulous.
“I had a lot go—”
“You did, but I was there,” she cut me off, her voice rising with every word.
“Not anyone else. Me. I stood by you. I gave up on my dreams. I allowed you to treat me however you wanted because I loved you and because I thought deep down, you loved me, too. Because I was the only one who believed in us. Because I believed in you more than myself. I believed in you when you didn’t believe in yourself.
And for five years, you stayed silent. I grieved us, and I know you were having the roughest time, but of everyone in your life, I caused you no pain.
You broke my heart into irreparable pieces, and you didn’t care.
You weren’t there to see how badly it broke me.
I did everything; every fucking thing for us, and you threw it away.
And then you think you dare to come here and get fucking jealous of a kiss on the cheek?
And get mad and say an apology, and it’ll be fine?
It may work with your girls back in the city, but not me. ”
Her words hit me like a barrage of arrows, each one piercing deeper than the last. I stood there, shocked, unsure of what to say, but knowing I’d be pathetic to stand there in silence. Her eyes were filled with a mixture of fury and pain, her chest heaving with the intensity of her emotions.
I yearned to pour out my soul to her, yet my words dissolved into a silent ache in my throat.
“Nina,” I began, my voice soft and pleading, “I know I hurt you. I know I made terrible mistakes, and I can’t undo the past. But please, let me try to make things right.
Let me show you I’ve changed. But don’t stand here and tell me you were the only one who believed in us. I believe in us. I believe in you.”
She shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. “You don’t get it, do you? It’s not about changing. You broke my heart and walked away like it was nothing. And now, you think you can waltz back into my life and fix everything with an apology?”
Her words hung in the air, a heavy silence settling between us. I could see the depth of her pain, the scars I had left behind, and it tore me apart.
“I don’t expect anything from you,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere this time. I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust again, to prove I’m not the person who hurt you.”
She looked at me, her eyes searching mine for any sign of sincerity. For a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of something—hope, maybe—but anger quickly overshadowed it.
The silence between us felt like an open wound, raw and festering.
She held the gown tightly, her grip fierce, as though it could shield her from me.
“You don’t get to come back,” she said, her voice thick with barely restrained anger.
“You think you can throw a few million dollars around and erase what you did?”
I flinched, but I didn’t look away. “It’s never about the money.”
Her eyes narrowed, her gaze flashing with both hurt and fury. “Isn’t it? Because five million dollars, Ronan? For a show, my show. Throwing mo—”
“I’d give it all up if that’s what you needed; if that’s what you wanted me to do. You know that.” I took a step closer, my voice softer now, but no less intense. “It was never about the money, Nina.”
Her laugh was bitter, almost hollow, and she shook her head. “God, you really think saying that changes anything? Do you know what it’s been like to put myself back together after you shattered everything?”
I clenched my fists, struggling to keep the desperation from spilling out. “Christmas eight years ago,” I said, barely able to hold her gaze. “Do you remember?”
She tensed, her face contorting with a flicker of disbelief before she forced herself to look away. “What are you talking about?”
“The warehouse show,” I continued, my voice rough. “The dress you designed. The one you were so proud of that night… This is it, isn’t it?”
Her shoulders stiffened as she stared at the fabric. “You don’t… you don’t get to say that,” she whispered, her voice cracking.
“I remember it,” I replied, my voice unsteady. “I remember everything about that night.”
She finally looked at me, and I saw the walls she’d carefully built around herself crumbling, even as she tried to reinforce them with anger. “You think that matters now?”
“I know I have no right to ask you for anything,” I said, voice low. “But if there’s even the smallest chance, Nina… I’d give up everything.”
She let out a shaky breath. “It’s not that simple.”
“I know,” I said, finally taking a step back, even though every part of me wanted to reach for her. “I’ll wait, however long it takes. It’s never been about anything or anyone but you.”
She turned her back to me, and I heard a sniffle. I hesitated for a moment before walking closer, tentatively placing a hand on her back. She shivered at my touch, then gently moved away.
“Abbiamo finito? Non c’è davvero più alcuna speranza?13” I called out, desperation creeping into my voice.
She stopped once more, turning to face me. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears, but her expression was resolute. “Goodnight.”
With those words, she walked away, leaving me standing there, feeling the pressure of her finality settle over me like a heavy cloak.
“Fuck,” I whispered.