Chapter Fourteen
RONAN
Present Day
ITALY
There was a thin line between love and hate, and I was standing on it, feeling it crack beneath me. Every word she never said cut deeper than anything she could have.
She never said no, but she never said yes.
She left me in that dangerous, intoxicating space where I could choose everything or nothing. Even when I wasn’t there, I was doing both.
Now, I was done balancing.
I’d break the line.
Burn it.
Build something new from the ashes because life without her was a sky without stars—dark, cold, endless, with nothing worth reaching for.
I couldn’t live in that void anymore. Not when I knew she was the only light worth chasing.
If I was going to exist, it would be with her.
“We’re here,” Rachel announced as I pulled up to a miniature and cozy home tucked away in the streets of Tuscany. I nodded, exited the car, and approached the door, feeling a tinge of anxiety creeping in.
After more than three knocks, the latch clicked open, and I was met with a hesitant gaze, not joy. My eyes instantly landed on the striking resemblance to the love of my life—warm olive skin, silver-streaked chestnut waves framing her face.
She stood in the doorway, unreadable.
“Buongiorno, signora Nicolette,20” I greeted warmly, a smile trying to break through my nervousness as she stood there, her eyes wide with surprise and a hint of disbelief. I couldn’t blame her; I’d be shocked too if the guy who broke my daughter’s heart suddenly showed up at my doorstep.
“Why are you here?” she asked sharply, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.
Clearing my throat, I responded sincerely, “I came to speak with you.”
Her gaze never wavered, scrutinizing my face and body language. After a tense moment, she reluctantly said, “Make it quick. Nina will be here soon.”
“I don’t expect you to like me, Ms. Nicolette,” I began, my voice steady despite the nervous flutter in my chest, “but it wouldn’t be respectful of me to continue my pursuit of—”
Her once-curious eyes turned shocked as she let out a low gasp. “Pursuit?”
“That is what I said, yes,” I confirmed, maintaining eye contact.
“You left my daughter for all these years. You left her heartbroken, and now you show up thinking you can come back for ‘pursuits.’” She started closing the door, but I quickly used my shoe to stop it.
I knew this reality, but hearing it every time never failed to break my heart all over again, leaving a familiar ache in my chest. It also made me feel weak. I shouldn’t have left her, but my feelings were valid, as my therapist tells me time and time again.
“Yes, I did leave, but I had as good a reason as anyone. My entire life was reeling before my eyes. My parents and my youngest sibling all died from cancer within two years, followed by failed kidneys that killed my grandparents. The grief consumed me, and if you think I upped and left without looking back, you are wrong. How do you think Nina got a fully paid scholarship to the top private fashion institute in this country, the day after she applied? Or the first surge of business investors during her first three days of opening?” I asked, my voice growing more intense.
“I did that because I knew fashion was everything to her. Because I knew the girl I love deserved that chance—one this life wouldn’t give her. ”
She stood there, still in shock.
“Does she know?” she asked quietly.
“I never told her, and I never will. It wasn’t a deed done for recognition. It was done because she deserved that happiness.”
Her expression slowly softened, and she spoke, “I will listen, but I will not invite you inside.”
“Good enough for me,” I started, taking a deep breath.
“I truly love your daughter and have never stopped. I can’t be myself without her; though I left physically, she’s with me in everything I do.
I know how much Nina respects and loves you, and out of respect for that, I felt it was right to speak with you first. While I’m not pursuing you, you are an important part of Nina’s life,” I finished, all in one breath.
“Mi sei sempre piaciuto,21” she whispered so softly I barely heard her. “Do you really love her?”
“More than anything.”
She sighed, her eyes softening as her protective nature surfaced. “Nina is grown, and I cannot tell her what to do, but as long as you do not hurt her again, all should be well. I don’t care how much power or money you have—hell will raise before you cause my baby any more ruin.”
I expected more of a fight from her, but before I could even question it, it was as if she read my mind and said, “I see how your eyes lighten up with delight at the mention of her name, and I see the courage it takes for a man of your caliber to be on the doorstep of the girl you love’s mother.
If you didn’t truly love my child, you wouldn’t be here. ”
I took two steps toward her, kissed both sides of her face, fixed my suit, and started walking away.
“Ronan,” she called out, and I spun around. “Send my best to Dillon.”
“Of course,” I told her and left.
NEW YORK CITY
The flight back home was a blur of thoughts and regrets, yet a newfound determination simmered within me. Upon landing, I had an impromptu cryosurgery on a patient with a malignant tumor, and the replay of my conversation with Nina’s mother was all that stuck.
“Scalpel,” I called out, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside. I was anything but focused.
“You seem distracted today,” Dr. Jensen remarked, peering over his glasses at me.
I nodded, my hands continuing their practiced motions. “Never distracted, Jensen.”
The patient’s life depended on my skill, yet my mind was fixated on the chance to mend a different kind of wound—the one I had inflicted on her heart.
“Do you nee—”
I shook my head, my determination firm, and that statement was all I needed to get my head in the game. “What we need to do is continue.”
The operating room door opened three hours later, and a nurse entered, handing me a chart with a gentle smile.
“Great job in there, Doc,” she said, her voice warm with admiration. I nodded quickly, barely stopping as I made my way to Arnoldo’s office.
Arnoldo wasn’t only my best friend; he was a force.
With effortless magnetism, he always wore a sleek black suit, a black undershirt, and Cartier cufflinks worth more than most cars.
His car collection was also impressive. Cuban-Jamaican through and through, with bronzed skin and dark eyes gleaming with dangerous amusement, he knew the effect he had.
The tabloids thrived on the ruthless lawyer and billionaire playboy image, but to me, he was Arnoldo, smirking like he already knew why I’d come.
“Reyes,” I called out as I saw him leaning against the doorjamb, his usual impeccably dressed self in a tailored suit. “Do you always wear a suit?”
“I am a lawyer, so yes,” he replied. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
I entered his office, a dark expanse of black and shadows, where every surface seemed to absorb the dim light filtering through the blinds.
The dark wood furniture and shelves of legal tomes deepened the stark atmosphere, with no color breaking the monochrome.
Striped patterns from the evening sun stretched across the polished floor, their muted light offering little relief.
I sat, fingers tapping nervously on the cold desk, the only sound in the unnerving stillness.
“Ever thought of adding some color?”
He didn’t look amused. “Black is fine.”
“I need a file,” I finally said, my voice more determined than I felt.
“A file?” Reyes echoed, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“I was in Italy, and I saw a guy close to her,” I explained, pulling up a picture of him from the fashion show photos on my phone. “I need to know everything about him.”
“What’s with you and Dillon asking about files? Why do you need this?” Reyes leaned forward, his expression now tinged with concern. “Is it Nina?”
“Who else would it be, Reyes?”
“How are you guys still in love? It’s been five years for you and nothing? You couldn’t find another woman, dude?” Reyes retorted, his tone laced with cynicism.
My grip on his chair tightened, and I sat upright, meeting his gaze squarely. “Why is it always about that? Do you only think of getting under a girl’s skirt?” I shot back. “Mark my words, the day you feel love and know what it truly means, you’ll understand. But for now, get me that file.”
“What did the guy do?” Reyes’s eyes gleamed with curiosity, leaning in.
“He was too close to her,” I replied, the words clipped.
“Maybe he’s dating her.” He was definitely poking the bear now, grating on every nerve.
“Maybe you talk too much,” I snapped back.
He shrugged, unbothered. “I’m a lawyer. That’s my strong suit.”
“Will I get the file or not?”
“You will,” Reyes promised, offering a subtle nod. “I have to tease first.”
“Perfect.” I leaned back, a hint of satisfaction slipping through. “So, how are you, Reyes?”
“I’m doing well, but tell me more. You have a full enough life as it is. How the hell did you manage to leave your empire and get to Italy for a fashion show?”
“I took my jet,” I replied, letting the statement hang.
He chuckled, rolling his eyes. “You know what I mean, asshole.”
“I had a patient visit, and it all lined up,” I explained, recounting my arrival, the events of the show, and everything in between.
“You’re even more in love than Dillon,” Reyes observed with an amused smirk.
“Maybe.” I rose from my seat, taking in the thought. “And to answer your question, no matter how many women I’m with, they aren’t her. Plus, I’ve been abstinent for five years.”
Before Arnoldo could respond, I walked out of his office and headed home. It was still early in the evening, and I was looking forward to some relaxation. However, my plans were interrupted when Dillon called.
“Xander,” I said as I answered the phone.
“He does answer,” Dillon remarked on the other end.
“That’s weird coming from you, but yes, early night. I landed five hours ago, then had surgery to perform right after.”
“That sounds exhausting. How was Italy?”
I exhaled deeply. “As good as you’d expect.”
“So it was bad?” Dillon probed.
“The medical aspect was good, but that aside, she told me she hated me,” I admitted, feeling the weight of those words.
“Hate is another word for love,” Dillon offered optimistically.
“I’m—” I paused, struggling to articulate my words.
“I know, but give it time. Once those eyes still sparkle the same way when you meet yours, then you’ve got hope.”
“Hope is a tricky thing, but I guess so,” I replied thoughtfully.
“Have you ever wondered if she moved on?” Dillon asked cautiously.
“I’m not suicidal, so no,” I admitted bitterly. “I saw a guy there kiss her cheek.”
“Is this guy still alive?” Dillon’s tone turned serious.
“Unfortunately,” I replied, a flicker of frustration in my voice.
The conversation hung with unspoken truths and unresolved emotions. Dillon understood my pain and my drive to reclaim what I’d lost, no matter the obstacles.
“Unfortunately,” I repeated with a sigh. “But seeing him kiss her cheek and fucking hold her waist sent me off the deep end.”
“I get it. It’s not easy,” Dillon replied sympathetically. “But you are a good person, so try not to harm anyone.”
“Getting soft?”
“I’ll never be nice to you again, Ronan,” he noted, “Do what you have to do, but do not lose yourself in the process. She’s my cousin, and you’re my best friend, my brother, so there is no picking sides, but the quicker you both decide if you want this or not, the better it will be.”
“I hope so,” I mumbled.
“Stop hoping and start trying,” Dillon encouraged. “Show her you’re serious and willing to fight for her.”
“I know what I need to do,” I agreed, feeling a surge of determination. “I’m going to let my heart and wallet do the talking.”
“You know her best,” he emphasized emphatically. “It takes time and patience, and you owe her that, but in the process, don’t hurt her and do not lose yourself. Please.”
“Thank you. In other words, how are you? How’s your newfound love?” I asked, listening as he let out a heavy, drawn-out sigh.
“You remember when you told me not to sleep with the majority of those women?”
A chuckle slipped out of me. “I do. Why?”
“I should’ve listened,” he groaned, raking a hand through his hair. “Because now, every woman I’ve ever been with is showing up out of nowhere, practically sabotaging my relationship. But I’m not letting her slip through my hands. It’s early, but… she’s it for me.”
My friends often label me as the most emotional of the group, but it gives me joy to see them happy, especially Dillon.
His life has had upheavals similar to mine, and he’s been caring for himself and his sister since they were quite young.
Seeing him go through so much hurt and pain was disheartening to watch.
But hearing him talk about loving someone and opening himself up to love made me truly happy for him.
The bond Dillon and I share, along with the bond we all have, makes them more like brothers to me than anything else.
“Problems have a way of setting themselves in the way of happiness, but all will be well,” I reminded him. “Take it easy, one step at a time, and remember you may be an ass, but you’re a damn good person.”
“Thank you, Ro. I really do appreciate it,” he responded. “I’ve got to run, but remember, I’m here for you. We’ll figure this out, alright?”
“Thanks, Dillon,” I replied gratefully. “I appreciate it. Talk soon.”
“Take care, Ro,” he acknowledged warmly before ending the call.