Chapter 34 #2
I shift in my seat, my cock immediately hard at the words car sex because, Jesus.
I don’t think I’ve had car sex in like fifteen years, and now it’s suddenly all I can think about, but I force myself to focus because I am a grown adult who is not ruled by his dick.
Or, at least, I can try to be. No promises on my chances of success. “Drew owns this place.”
Maddy laughs, glancing out the car window. “No fucking way.”
“Absolutely fucking way. He owns, or has a stake in, all kinds of different things. Some of them make absolutely no sense at all, but he has this weirdly astute business acumen and a sixth sense for where to invest. Anyway, I don’t know, like, half of what he owns because it’s too many things to keep track of, but one of them is this place.
I asked him to open it up for us tonight. ”
Maddy’s face lights up. “Like, to watch a movie? In the car, in the middle of the winter?”
“You bet. We can’t open the trunk because, well, winter, but I figured the back seat would work just fine.”
She squeals, clapping her hands together. “This is, like, the best date ever. What are we watching?”
I grin at her. “Nora Ephron movie marathon. We’re starting with You’ve Got Mail and When Harry Met Sally, and if we’re feeling ambitious, a little Sleepless in Seattle to end the night. A perfect New York City rom-com trifecta.”
“Stop it!” she says with a laugh. “Tyler is going to be so jealous.”
“I know. Be sure to tell him all about it. Jealous Tyler is one of my favorite things.”
Maddy’s face shutters for a second before she looks away.
It’s so fast I would have missed it if I were looking anywhere but at her, but when she’s around, she’s all I see, so I didn’t miss it, and I realize immediately what I said.
Taking her other hand, I wait until she’s looking back at me.
“It’s okay,” I say quietly. “It’s okay not to want to tell him yet. Or anyone else.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not okay. I want everyone to know.
I don’t want to hide this. I mean, not that we’re doing a very good job hiding anyway.
Our circle is getting pretty big. But playoffs start next week, and everyone needs to focus.
Once they’re over, we’ll figure out how to tell everyone else. ”
I bring her hand to my lips, lingering there.
“We’re going to win you the Super Bowl,” I murmur.
“And then everyone in the world will know how brilliant you are, and what an amazing thing you’ve done.
How important you are to the team, and to professional football, and no one will ever be able to say anything different. ”
She smiles, but it’s a touch sad because we both know the truth, which is that people are going to say terrible shit no matter what because they’re misogynistic assholes who will never believe that women belong in sports.
But I think—I hope—that what we’re building is strong enough to withstand that, and I think maybe she does too because she straightens her shoulders, and her smile turns to a grin.
“If you win the Super Bowl, I’ll kiss you afterwards on the field and then we won’t have to tell anyone anything. ”
My mind drifts back to the last time I kissed a girl on a football field after winning a big game. How much I would like to get to do that again. With Maddy. “Baby, you’ve got yourself a deal.”
My phone dings then, and I dig it out of my pocket, chuckling when I see Drew’s text on the screen.
Drew
What the fuck, dude. You planning on just sitting in that car all night? It’s fucking cold up here.
I show Maddy the screen and she laughs. “Where is he?”
I gesture behind us. “In the control booth somewhere back there, but don’t worry about him.
He’s bitching, but he actually turned that room into a full-blown man cave with video games and a pool table and climate control so he’s definitely not cold.
He even has a bed up there because he’s kind of a manwhore but has a weird thing about bringing women back to his house. ”
She shakes her head. “Drew is one of the most fascinating people I’ve ever met.”
“Same. I’ve known him since I was eighteen and still can’t figure him all the way out.”
“My friend Caitlin is like that. I’ve known her my entire life and there’s still a part of her I can’t quite reach.
Something unknowable. Like, some deep depth she hides from everyone.
I’ve never been able to figure her all the way out either, and I figure people out for a living, so it drives me insane.
Anyway, if Drew is fine up there, can he wait for a few minutes?
I have something for you.” She reaches behind her seat and grabs the big gift bag she wouldn’t let me look in earlier.
“He absolutely can.” I unlock my phone and type out a message.
Me
Keep your pants on. We need a few minutes.
Drew
If you’re making me wait up here because you’re fucking in that car, I’m going to be…okay, I was going to say I’m going to be really fucking annoyed, but the truth is I’ll just be proud and happy for you because you deserve this.
Me
I deserve to fuck a girl in my car?
Drew
Don’t be an asshole. You deserve to be happy, and I think she makes you happier than you’ve been in years.
Me
She does.
Drew
I love that for you, brother. Take whatever time you need. I’m not going anywhere.
“Okay?” Maddy asks when I set the phone down on the dash.
I nod. “He’s cool to wait.”
“Good. Okay, so, I know that I’m a little late for Christmas, but this took longer than I thought it would to put together.”
“You got it for me, so I’ll love it.” I reach into the bag and pull out a heavy book, setting the gift bag in the backseat.
When I look down at it, my heart clenches at the picture of my kids on the cover that I recognize instantly.
It’s a pre-game picture from earlier this season—the one they sent me before our second home game with their tongues out and their eyes crossed.
And when I flip open the cover, my heart stops entirely.
On the first page is Lainey, in the very first pre-game picture she ever sent me, weeks before Riley was born.
I keep turning the pages, each one filled with pre-game pictures from over the years, in chronological order.
A few more of Lainey alone, Lainey with newborn Riley, and then with Riley as a toddler.
I swallow hard at what I know is the last picture Lainey ever sent me.
And the picture from the first game I played after she died, three-year-old Riley holding a newborn Ethan, my mom behind the camera.
I turn the pages slowly, watching my kids grow up, my whole heart memorialized right here in my hands, given to me by the woman who now owns a giant piece of it.
When I get to the last page, I give a watery laugh at the picture of Maddy sandwiched between Riley and Ethan, all of them sticking their tongues out at the camera—the picture they sent me the night of my Thanksgiving game.
Closing the book, I stare down at it for a long moment before looking back up at Maddy.
When I lock eyes with her, my breath catches, and I lose the very shaky grip I’m holding on my emotions because looking into her eyes is like looking into a mirror, everything I feel for her reflected right back at me.
“Maddy, I…” I trail off, words failing me as my heart fills with a love so huge I don’t know how a single body can contain it all.
She smiles, laying a hand on my face and wiping away the tear that escapes from the corner of my eye and trails down my cheek. “I know. Me too.”
“This is…everything,” I manage. “I love it.”
I love you.
“I hope you don’t mind me kind of hacking your phone so I could do this.
When you showed me the pictures a while back, I got this idea, so I shared the album with myself.
I know it’s a stalkerish violation of your privacy but, well, desperate times and all that.
” She shrugs, like she didn’t just give me the best present of all time.
“Also, I wasn’t sure if it was weird to put the picture of me at the end or not, but I just went for it, because I was going for a rom-com level romantic gesture. ”
I love her. I fucking love her with everything I am and everything I will ever be, and suddenly, she is way too far away.
Reaching over, I grab her waist, laughing when she yelps as I haul her across the center console and right into my lap.
Hitting the button on the side of the car, I slide my seat back as far as it goes and gather her against me.
“It’s perfect,” I murmur. “You’re perfect.
” I press kisses to her temple, her cheek, dotting a line of them down her neck and back up again until I finally take her mouth.
It’s slow and deep, our mouths saying all the things we haven’t yet put into words.
It’s moans and sighs, tongues and teeth and roving hands, bodies pressed together and two people meant to be, finding their way to each other.
It’s more than I ever thought I would have again.
The most perfect girl, the perfect night, and the brightest future, stretching out ahead of us.
When we finally break apart, we stay like that for a while, breathing each other in, whispering quiet words.
And then I text Drew, telling him that we’re ready.
Maddy laughs as I haul us both into the backseat and pull blankets, pillows, popcorn, orange soda, and six kinds of M&M’s out of the trunk, making us a cozy nest. And then again when Drew knocks on the car window, delivering the pizza I ordered with a grin.
We eat way too much and watch the familiar movies wrapped around each other, and I think that maybe this is the best night of my entire life.
And then I take her home and lay her out on her bed, stripping off both of our clothes, sinking inside her and fucking her like she’s mine, because she is. Unequivocally, undeniably mine. And I am, as ever, as always, hers.