21. Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
S mack in the middle of having to be at our best behavior, Beau brought a present with him during one of our dance-in-the-kitchen-and-make-dinner nights. I opened a velvet-lined box containing three metal spade-shaped things. Each was a different size. The stem ended with a heart-shaped jewel.
The familiar shape of the object finally dawned on me. “Did you buy me a set of butt plugs?”
Beau nodded with a crooked smirk.
“That’s the most romantic gift I’ve ever received.”
He grabbed me by the center of my T-shirt that had a blurry raccoon surrounded by multi-colored auras. The title, Disassociating Like a Girlboss .
“Let’s work up an appetite.”
He fished through my nightstand, knowing where I kept my lube. He took my shirt off, shifted me around and pulled my pants off. I stepped out of them, giving them a kick across my bedroom floor. He gave my back a shove so my hands braced against my bed. Biting into my shoulder, he unhooked my bra and let it drift down my arms.
I attempted to turn around to help him at least achieve the same level of nakedness I was at. He gripped my bicep, strong enough to leave finger-shaped bruises. “Stay still,” he ordered through clenched teeth.
I responded with a nervous chuckle. “Okay.”
“Give me your hands.”
I reached behind, and he crossed my arms at the middle of my back. I turned my head to the side.
“Look at me.”
I opened my eyes. The warm, puppy-dog brown eyes were dark and cutting behind his horn-rimmed glasses. Seriously, I didn’t think they had a Cycle Daddy vibe on the EverGreen his lips held firmly together. He desperately sipped breaths from his nose, the sound of him trying not to lose his mind and use me to the fullest. Yeah, he was being a boss, but this was always about my comfort and fantasy, not his.
“You can go deeper,” I said.
His other hand braced against the bed, bracketing my body. He increased the force of his hips. The pressure built in my entire pelvis. I dug my heels into his ass to guide him further. He gripped the comforter on either side of my head. His hips slapped into mine. The sound of skin-to-skin contact heightened everything; I wanted to disappear into it. I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to memorize the sound of his sighs, the sound of our bodies. The smell of lube, latex, and sex. All of it intoxicating.
“Look at me,” he gritted out.
The sudden eye contact pinched his expression into concentration. “You’re too good, Sir. Too…” He collapsed into me and stilled, moaning through his climax.
We lay stunned; our hearts drumming back to each other until finally we breathed. All his weight pressing into me felt perfect, comforting.
I looped my arms over his head so I could hold him with every part of me because… because I loved what he did to me… because I loved him . Ooh boy, I needed to give myself a serious talk in the mirror because lust and the excitement of being attended to was getting me to feel stupid, foolish, hopeful feelings that should’ve died when I signed the divorce papers. I had touched the metaphorical stove of catching feels and got burnt. At least my marriage spared my feelings enough by fading into indifference rather than rending me broken-hearted.
“Shit, don’t want to leak.” Beau sprung off me and removed the condom. As he threw it away in the trash, I removed the plug. Good for us that I had a mountain of toys to run through the dishwasher.
He took his spot on the bed. A warm feeling arrived because at this point, Beau had his spot in my bed. Curled against his chest, I got that wistful, teary feeling like I needed to confess something. “Beau, I’m so glad I met you.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Same, but you know, me meeting you rather than meeting myself.”
“Like our bedroom activities could be easily dismissed as perverted, kinky, depraved, lurid, gross but… it’s precious to me.” I stopped myself before saying, You help me realize there’s a lot more to life and that I can do anything .
The beat that passed gave my heart a nervous skip. Had I said something too hokey?
He sighed. “I want to say something profound right now, but I’ve been fucked stupid.”
“Me too,” I said. “I cannot be held liable for the cheesiness of the words I said.”
But I chided myself in secret because falling for Beau would lead to the violent stumble after. Nope, I was not going to do this again or ever.
But oh shit.
I was completely falling for Beau.