Chapter 30
The loud smack of a door slamming into a wall wakes me up. I peek out through heavy lids, and find Phantom walking through the door holding two large to-go cups with a brown paper bag hanging from their wrist. They slam the door closed with their foot.
“What’s going on?” I ask, suddenly on guard. I wasn’t expecting Phantom to be up and about like this. At least not right away.
“Oh, sorry. Did I wake you?” they reply. “Well, at least I can make it up to you with breakfast.” They toss me the bag. I look in and find it full of blueberry muffins. My favorite. Then they hand me one of the cups. “You prefer Earl Grey, right?” they ask as they remove their coat.
“Yeah, thanks,” I murmur as I notice them smiling with their eyes again. Where the hell did the Phantom from yesterday go? The person who could barely lift their head off the pillow?
“Phantom? What’s going on?”
“Hmm?” they ask as they discard their cup on the bedside table without drinking from it.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Just great,” they say in a chipper tone. “In fact, I have a proposition for you, but first, you should eat. The muffins will go cold.”
“Do you want one?” I ask, holding one out to them.
“No thanks, I ate one on the ride back.”
I don’t know why exactly, but that feels like a lie. I’m about to ask them when my stomach growls. Later, I tell myself. After I eat.
Phantom organizes their paintbrushes and paints while I sit in bed eating. I watch them intently as they do. They never sit down, or stop moving. It reminds me of Gideon when he’s all hyped up from a sugar rush. Such a stark contrast from yesterday.
“Okay, so here’s my idea,” Phantom says when they see I’ve finished.
“Your classes start back up tomorrow, but we still have today. And with how shitty your actual birthday was, I really want to make it up to you. How about a quick day trip to Lake Michigan? I could borrow my grandma’s car and we could paint while we’re there. ”
“Phantom, that’s a really sweet idea, and I appreciate the sentiment, but we already have plans today,” I remind them. “Maybe we can go to the lake in the spring.”
“What plans?” they ask, confused.
“I—uh, don’t you remember? We’re going to the hospital together today.”
“Oh, we don’t need to do that,” they say, waving me off.
My stomach swoops sickeningly. “And why not?”
“Because I’m fine now. Look at me.” They turn around in a circle, as if the improvement of one’s mental health can be seen from the outside. Which is ridiculous. “Yesterday was a fluke. Let’s forget about it.”
Only I’ll never be able to forget about it. They need help, desperately. I have to find a way to get them to the hospital today. I have to.
“Why don’t we compromise?” I ask, sliding from the bed. “Let’s go to the hospital first, and then go to the lake after. Let’s do both.”
Phantom stops to consider that for a moment. Then they look over their shoulder at the wall and laugh. “No way, Echo. Don’t be ridiculous.”
They’re not hiding their hallucinations from me anymore.
“I don’t think that will work,” they say to me as they shake their head. “The hospital could take too much time, and as Echo just reminded me, they could end up wanting to admit me, and that would definitely ruin the whole day.”
“But—”
“Let’s just go to the lake for now.”
Anger flares precariously in my gut, and it takes every ounce of self-control I can muster to douse it. Slowly and calmly, I say, “Phantom, you’re not listening to me.”
“Maeve, I swear I am,” they insist with a frown in their voice, coming to stand next to me. “Look, if it really means that much to you, then fine, yes. We can postpone the trip to the lake.”
I’m so relieved I could puke, but instead, I flash them my most convincing smile.
“Beautiful,” they murmur, leaning to rest their forehead against mine.
“Just give me a few minutes to get changed. Then we can get going,” I say with renewed pep.
“Get going where?” they ask.
I blink up at Phantom. “The hospital . . .”
They blink back. “We already decided we aren’t going there. We aren’t doing either; hospital or lake.”
“No,” I argue, anger flaring again. “You decided that. I don’t agree. I think we need to go. Today. Now.”
They raise their hands to cradle my face. “Maeve, no.”
“No?” I say, incredulous.
“Right.”
I push Phantom away from me. “I’ve been more than patient with you, Phantom, but this is crossing a line. We’re going to the hospital. Right now!”
They’re staring at me as if I’ve grown a second head. I grab their wrist and start pulling. I’ll go right this second if I have to, with morning breath and bed head. I don’t care, as long as Phantom gets the help they need.
“Maeve, stop it,” they urge as they pry my fingers off.
“We have to go,” I say breathlessly. “We have to go right now.”
“Maeve? Are you—are you scared of me right now?” Phantom asks, studying my face and my body language.
I don’t respond. Because the truth is that I am. At this exact moment, I’m very much afraid of Phantom.
“I can see that,” Phantom says loudly to Echo. Thankfully I’m getting better at discerning when Echo is demanding their attention based on their tone of voice; it sharpens like a blade. “She’s afraid.”
They pace back and forth before me. “What do I do?” Phantom asks Echo.
They nod their head as Echo answers, and the fact that I have no idea what the hallucination is saying terrifies me.
“Phantom, I’m still here,” I remind them. “Talk to me, not to Echo.”
“Right,” they say, shaking their head. “So, what you’re saying is that you’ll be angry with me if I don’t go to the hospital with you right now?”
I think before speaking. I don’t know what the right answer is.
Yes or no? Either way, the answer won’t get me the outcome I desire.
There’s only one solution. I have to get out of here.
If I can just grab my phone off Phantom’s nightstand and get back to my dorm room, I can call an ambulance for Phantom.
That way I’m still helping them without being on the receiving end of their mood swings.
“No,” I lie. “I’m not angry. I’m just tired. I think I’ll go back to my dorm room and sleep a while longer.” I walk to the nightstand by Phantom’s bed and retrieve my phone, stuffing it in the pocket of Phantom’s sweatpants I’m wearing.
“But it’s such a beautiful, sunny day out, Maeve. Let’s go take advantage of it.” Their expression turns sad. “I really wanted to spend the day celebrating with you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say as I back toward the door. “Just give me a few extra hours of sleep and I’ll be ready to do something together.”
Phantom’s head twitches, like Echo is speaking too loudly in their ear.
I try to school my expression into a mask of drowsiness, but subconsciously, I fist the phone in my pocket. Phantom’s gaze tracks the movement.
“She wouldn’t do that,” Phantom tells Echo. “She wouldn’t betray me.”
I can imagine Echo’s response in their head: Of course she would, you fool. You poisoned her against you the second you lied to her, hurt her, and let her in. She’ll run far away, and laugh as she goes. All because of you.
“Don’t listen to them, Phantom,” I plead. “Whatever they’re saying to you, it’s not true. It’s a lie.”
“So, you won’t call the cops for an ambulance the second you leave this room?” Phantom asks, their eyes darkening.
I see it—the moment my face gives me away.
Whirling on the spot, I sprint to the door.
I wrench it open and run barefoot down the hall.
I chance one look behind me. The hall is empty but fear still tears through my veins like a raging wildfire.
As I dash down the stairs, my breaths come in so hard and shallow I worry I might faint.
My feet pound against the lobby floor, tossing up small clouds of dust as I reach for the door handle to the exit. Silently, I release a cry of victory.
If I can get on Phantom’s bike before they reach me, I’ll be in the clear.
But that was naive of me, and I knew it. Phantom’s faster than me.
The big metal door opens an inch before a dark cloth comes down over my head. I only have a moment to realize Phantom’s caught me before their arms wrap around my middle and tug me backward, yanking me off my feet.