11. Alise
ALISE
I drove to Carter’s house with a heavy heart.
It had been three days since I blocked him.
He hadn’t shown up at my house once. Obviously, he didn’t care.
I knew he had gone out with E, and I planned to call him to make sure he was good when he called me.
Well, he called me by accident, but I heard everything I needed to hear.
Him putting some drunk bitch named Jessica in his car, and her calling him daddy.
The pain that radiated through my chest was almost scary.
That man was a terrific actor. I was furious and one of the things that pissed me off the most was that I was hurt.
At my big grown ass age, I was crying over a man.
I had already learned that no matter how bad a heartbreak hurt, we’d always get over it.
We’d always heal and move on. It wasn’t the end of the world, and he was only doing what niggas did.
But to my dismay, I was still hurt. Bad.
The way I cried had me ashamed. But I allowed myself two days to sulk and feel foolish for falling so easy and so fast. I then collected everything Carter had at my home, and I was dropping it off at his house.
I didn’t even want the things I had at his house. I didn’t even want to see his face.
Nobody clearly cared about what I wanted because his face was the first thing I saw.
As I pulled into Carter’s driveway, he was emerging from his car clad in chocolate slacks and a black button up.
That man was so damn fine I wanted to scream.
He would be hard to walk away from but no matter how handsome he was or how good his dick was, I refused to be stupid for a man.
Carter turned around and when he saw my car, he stood there.
The expression on his face was indifferent.
That felt like a punch to the gut. He didn’t look happy to see me.
He didn’t look apologetic. He almost looked like I was the last person that he wanted to see.
Swallowing down the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat, I got out of the car, opened the back door, and removed the small box that held his belongings.
As I walked over to him, I avoided eye contact.
“Your things.”
“Thanks.” His tone was gruff and dry. Another punch to the gut.
Blinking back tears, I started to walk away then I thought fuck that. I wanted to act like I didn’t care, but I did. Carter had me fucked up.
“Thanks? That’s it? No apology or half ass explanation?” I asked in a tone laced with attitude. My blood boiled as he frowned.
“Fuck am I apologizing for?”
My brows hiked, and I stepped closer to him. “You serious right now?”
“Yeah, I am. Because did I do something besides see my daughter’s friend drunk out her mind with some slimy nigga trying to get her to leave the bar with him, and I found out she only had two drinks, so she must have been drugged?
So, I put her in my car and took her to the hospital. Is that what I’m apologizing for?”
He was pissed and rightfully so. My heart fell into my ass. I was so stupid. Oh, I was beyond stupid. I was downright ignorant. My mouth opened, but no words came out.
“I have no issue proving myself,” Carter stated while flicking the tip of his nose.
“I know there are fucked up niggas out here because I used to be one. Most women have been hurt more than they haven’t.
So, I move with intention. I show rather than tell.
And that’s still not enough. You couldn’t be a grown ass woman and ask me what was going on.
You straight blocked me. No questions asked.
Nah, you not ready for a nigga like me. You need to go heal. ”
Carter walked off and left me standing there looking as dumb as I felt.
Heart racing, stomach caving, I walked to my car feeling like the only thing missing was the red nose because I was indeed a clown.
I let my guard down just enough to let Carter in but not enough to stop being suspicious and ready to catch him in something.
I was too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop that I overreacted and self-sabotaged.
Never in my life had I fumbled a good man, but there was a first time for everything.
Carter had every right to be upset. He had every right to walk away from my bullshit.
I had no one to blame but myself. Lesson learned.
All I wanted was to curl up in a ball underneath my covers and sleep.
If was asleep I couldn’t feel dumb. I almost opened my car door, got back out of the car, and apologized, but I didn’t.
I thought I had healed because I was happy, content being alone, and I didn’t need a man to feel complete.
It was okay to be cautious, but being afraid to let someone get close from fear of being hurt, that wasn’t healed.
Making Carter pay for every man in the world that had done me or other women wrong wasn’t fair to him because he was definitely one of one.
My phone rang, and I saw Jada’s name on the screen.
I couldn’t talk to her. I couldn’t admit out loud what I had done.
Feeling foolish was embarrassing enough.
There was no need to share it just yet. I needed to sit in it and process it.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to go home, eat cake, and cry myself to sleep.
Four days later, I was sitting on Lauren’s couch holding a shot glass and frowning from the bitter taste of the lime I had sucked to cut the taste of the tequila I tossed back.
Lauren wasn’t a big drinker, so she had one shot of tequila and a glass of wine.
I was on shot number three about to pour the fourth.
She was smiling and flirting on the phone while I was scrolling on mine.
I was still sad, still feeling foolish, and still sulking.
Lauren ended the call with Rock as I was taking my next shot.
“We gotta quit sulking boo. What you want to do?”
I raised my brows and licked my lips. “You’re not sulking. You’re flirting. Only one of us is looking pathetic.”
“I might not be sulking, but my nerves are shot. I know Kiara is with Keith and his mother, but I’m still worried. His dumb ass doesn’t have the patience with her that I do.”
“She’ll be okay. Despite how he turned out, Keith’s mother is a good woman. She’s probably doing most of the work. Simple Simon just wants to look like he’s doing something,” I rolled my eyes.
“He asked if he could take me out tomorrow night. He wants to talk over dinner.”
I simply looked at Lauren. She was married to the man, and they shared a child. It didn’t matter how trash I thought he was. If she wanted to forgive him, I refused to judge her and make her feel bad. I would keep my feelings to myself no matter how hard it was.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what I said?” Lauren laughed while I shook my head. “Bro, you have no faith in me. I said no, nigga!”
Jumping up off the couch, I screamed like I hit the lottery. “That’s what I’m talking about. Stand on business!”
“And did! Fuck he thought this was?”
“I am so freaking proud!” I beamed. My girl was starting to realize who she was, and I loved that for her.
My phone rang and when I saw Carter’s name, my heart began to drum in my chest. My stomach tightened, and I swallowed hard. “Hello?”
“Where you at?” his tone was deep. The low, masculine rumble made my pussy ache.
“Lauren’s house.”
“How the fuck you gon’ throw me a surprise party and not come?”
“Because we aren’t talking, but I wasn’t petty enough to cancel everything. You said you never had a birthday party, and I wanted to do that for you.”
“Get dressed and get here.”
“Okay.”
“That was Carter?” Lauren was just as excited as me.
“Yes. Grab some clothes bitch. You can get dressed at my house. I’m going to get my man back.”
“Oh, hell yeah!” Lauren jumped up and ran into her room.
I was so happy it was crazy. During general conversation Carter told me he’d never had a birthday party.
I wanted to make that happen for him, so when I met E, I let him in on the secret.
I told him to invite everyone that Carter would want there.
When we got into it, I told E it was up to him to think of a reason to get Carter to the venue.
It was a miracle that I didn’t get a speeding ticket from Lauren’s house to mine because I did fifteen over the speed limit the whole way there.
I had showered before I went to Lauren’s thank God, so all I had to do was put on the dress I had already purchased for the party.
It was an emerald, green bandage dress that fit my body like a glove.
The décor was green and gold. Lauren knew about the party of course, and she had a gold dress.
I took another shot at home because I was nervous as hell, so Lauren drove us there.
Thank God for tequila because being almost drunk was the only reason I wasn’t losing it.
I wanted Carter back. I had never needed a second chance from a man, but I wanted one from him.
When Lauren pulled up at the venue, my heart began to race, and my palms started to sweat.
The fact that I was so nervous was telling.
We approached the door just as Carter was walking outside with a clear, plastic cup in his hand.
The brown liquid was more than likely cognac.
Time may as well have stood still when we locked eyes.
He was so damn handsome. Dressed in all black, Carter looked like something good to eat.
His expression was neutral as he walked over to me.
Slow and cocky. When he was in my personal space, he peered down at me.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Your stubborn ass wasn’t even gon’ apologize, huh?”
Tears filled my eyes. “I wanted to. I just didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.”
“You better not cry,” his tone was low but assertive. “What do you want, Alise?”
“You.” Despite his words a tear spilled over my eyelid. Carter took the pad of his thumb and swiped it away. “We not doing that.”
He wrapped one arm around me and pulled me into him.
“You gon’ straighten up, and we gon’ be aight. Alright?”
I nodded. We had a brief stare off.
“Come on.”
The event planner had done an amazing job.
From the centerpieces, pictures of Carter in different stages of his life, the candles, the food.
Everything was amazing. I even met his ex-wife, his daughter, and his parents.
Carter had the time of his life as he drank, sang to me, and danced.
At the end of the night, Lauren took my car home, and a luxury share ride service came to get me and Carter.
In the back of the car, he leaned over and whispered in my ear while holding onto my exposed thigh.
“I been missing you,” he whispered, and my pussy thumped.
I turning my head to the side I looked down at the side of his face. “I missed you too,” I whispered not wanting the driver all in our business.
“You gon’ show me?” he leaned back and licked his lips. All I could do was nod because I was going to show him for damn sure.
Two seconds after our clothes were off, I had Carter’s dick in my mouth. Every time he moaned, I relaxed my throat and took more of him in until I was gagging. I hummed on his dick while sucking feverishly.
“I need that,” he breathed, and I knew what he meant. Using my mouth, I cleaned up the excess saliva and laid back on the bed.
Carter parted my thighs and dove in headfirst. The way that man tongued my coochie down had me grabbing the back of his head and arching my back to the point that it damn near hurt.
He ate me like he had indeed missed me. The moment he sucked my nub into his mouth, I came long and hard.
The guttural moans that left my mouth sounded forward to me as I lifted my hips and rode his face like I was riding a wave.
I wanted him inside me so bad, and he granted my wish.
The moment Carter pushed into me, I locked my legs around him. I wanted to crawl in the man’s skin. “What you gotta tell me?” he ran his tongue across my bottom lip.
“I’m sorry,” I moaned with my eyes closed. “I’m sorry for being immature. I want you.” He moaned, and I wound my hips. “I need you.”
“Fuck,” he moaned again before parting my lips with his tongue.
We shared an intense kiss as he rocked in and out of me.
“Intention. What are your intentions?” he whispered against my lips.
“To never let another bitch have you.”
Carter pinned my arms above my head and hit me with deep, intense strokes. “You ready for that?”
“Fuck yessss,” I screamed. My words had a double meaning because I was about to explode, and he could feel it.
Carter placed one hand around my throat and restricted my breathing slightly. “Fuck, baby. Fuck this pussy good. Let that shit go.”
“Fuuuuckkkkkk,” I cried as essence poured from my middle. “Fuck,” I cried out again as my body jerked.
That only made Carter go harder. “Got damn.”
Lifting my head, I attacked his mouth. The harder we kissed the harder he pumped.
Carter moaned into my mouth as he sprayed his seed into my womb.
With his dick still inside me, he pressed his forehead against mine.
I could feel his heart racing through his chest. I was exactly where I wanted to be.
I wouldn’t be a fool for any man, but I had learned my lesson.
Carter ran a strict program, and I liked it. A lot.
“You good?” he smiled, and I smiled back.
“I’m more than good.”
I wasn’t sure what this next phase of my life held, but I was ready for whatever.
The end….