Chapter 5 – Age 18
“Hey, Jule. When’d you get here?”
Jule smacked his lips and opened his bleary eyes. “I don’t know. After midnight sometime. Couldn’t sleep.”
“You live in that fancy house and have your own room and clean sheets, and you come to this shithole to get rest?” Tyson asked.
He sat up and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “This is home.”
“Jesus, kid, you look like hell.”
“Feel like it too.”
Tyson sighed, walked over to him, and sat beside him on the couch. “Anyone know you’re here?”
“Of course not. I parked out back.” In his father’s old spot.
It had been more than half a year since he was shot in that house, so it was no longer considered a crime scene, but the investigation was still active.
If people saw Jule there, they’d have questions that nobody wanted to answer and he’d be on the radar of a psychopath, who was also apparently the head of a cartel, so Jule had to pretend he didn’t know this place and these people. His home. His family.
Nodding, Tyson said, “I saw your car when I walked in from the trailer.”
“I hate this.” He hated that his grandparents were sad. Hated that his mother had somehow gotten even more brittle. Hated that his father, messed up as he had been, was dead. Hated that he had to pretend to be someone else all the time now. But what he hated most of all was that he didn’t have Tor.
“I know,” Tyson said. “How’s school?”
“I’m graduating in a few months.”
“Yeah.” He slid his arm around Jule’s back and ruffled his hair. “That’s great. We’re all proud of you.”
“Tor was supposed to walk with me. We were tied for valedictorian. He was going to be the first person in his family to graduate high school. We were going to go to ASU together.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “It’s not fair.”
“No, it isn’t. But life isn’t fair.”
“What life?” Jule looked at Tyson. “He dropped out of school and disappeared. He’s been gone for seven months. What kind of life is Tor living? Where is he?”
Tyson was quiet for a long time. “He didn’t drop out.”
“What do you mean?” Jule asked, brow furrowing.
“You two geniuses were ahead in everything, right?”
Jule nodded. Tor was the genius and he had dragged Jule along for the ride.
“He had all the classes he needed to graduate.”
“How do you know that?”
Tyson squeezed his neck. “I’ll show you.”
He stood and walked over to the cabinet in the corner where they kept card games and random shit and then he pulled down a box that was wedged on top. “Thought I put it here.” He got an envelope out of the box, put the lid back on, and hefted it to the top of the cabinet again.
“What is that?”
Tyson held his hand out as he walked back over. “Came in the mail in August.”
Jule took the envelope from him, pulled out the paper inside, and unfolded it. “It’s his diploma.”
“Yeah.” Tyson grinned. “He did good. You both did.”
Jule pressed the paper to his chest and tried not to fall apart.
“Hold onto that for him,” Tyson said.
“You sure?”
He nodded.
“Thanks.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes and then Tyson said, “You’ve lost a lot of weight.”
He shrugged. “I miss him.” He unfolded the paper again. “Ty?”
“Yeah?”
“The school wouldn’t know that he wanted to graduate early unless someone told them.” He looked at Tyson. “There’s paperwork to fill out or whatever.”
Tyson didn’t say anything.
“Do you know where he is?”
He shook his head.
“But you’ve heard from him?”
He sighed. “Do you trust Tor?”
“Of course I trust Tor. I trust him more than anyone.”
“Then trust that whatever he’s doing, he has his reasons. You look like shit. You need to eat. You need to sleep. You need to take care of yourself. Don’t make him worry about you on top of everything else.”
“How’s he going to worry when he’s gone? He has no idea what I’m doing.”
One side of Tyson’s lips tilted up in an expression that reminded him so much of Tor it made his heart hurt. “You can’t actually believe that’s true.”
“What do you mean?”
Tyson stood. “I think we have eggs and maybe even bacon.” He walked to the kitchen. “I’m making breakfast. You’re too skinny.”
“Ty?”
“Trust Tor,” he said as he swung the fridge open. “Scrambled or fried?”
“Scrambled.” Jule got up. “I’ll help.”
***
Paper crumpled in his sweaty hand and lungs working overtime, Jule peered out the windshield into the dark.
Two words—Jimmy’s 2am—scribbled in Tor’s handwriting on a receipt he found on his front seat that morning, and now he was parked alone in the middle of the night at a place that washed cars in public and sold cars, drugs, and guns in private.
The first time he had been at Jimmy’s he was nine and Travis had been driving them to get Dairy Queen.
It was a rare treat that they could afford because of the errand he was running first. That was how Jule found out about the guns.
They’d been in a box under his feet. Travis and Titan had found them in the back of one of the cars they’d stolen.
The drugs he knew about because he heard Jimmy offer them to Titan in trade for the car he had driven over.
He turned him down, took cash instead, hopped in the front of their car with Travis, and Jule had gotten a vanilla ice cream cone dipped in chocolate.
It had been a fun night. He hoped this one would be better.
Movement from under the eaves caught his eye and he got out of the car. He squinted in the direction of the building and saw a form emerge.
“Tor,” he rasped and ran toward him.
They met in the middle, bodies and mouths slamming together.
He hadn’t seen Tor in months. He had been sad and scared and angry.
He had so many questions. But when that familiar scent and taste hit his system, all he could do was heave Tor closer, pull on his hair, and devour him with lips and tongue.
Tor’s hands slid under his hoodie and up his back and he grappled for Tor’s button fly.
They must have been moving backward because he bumped against something and then realized it was his car when Tor took hold of his shoulder and flipped him around.
He yanked Jule’s jeans under his ass and then kicked his ankles apart.
“Yes,” Jule moaned.
A hand appeared in front of his face, and he gathered as much saliva as he could and spit in Tor’s palm. Behind him, he heard Tor do the same thing and liquid drizzled down his crack. “Ready?” Tor asked, voice rough.
“Fuck me.”
Pressure and heat and pain and pleasure.
“Fuck, Julie.” Tor covered Jule’s left hand with his own, tangled their fingers together, and squeezed. “Feel so good.”
“Uh huh.” He pushed back against Tor, meeting his thrusts.
Tor threaded his other hand through Jule’s hair, yanked his head back, and bit his lower lip before kissing him again. It was wild and messy and perfect. It was Tor.
“Ungh,” Jule groaned, overwhelmed in the best way.
It didn’t last long. It couldn’t. But like every time, it was the best time, and when Tor moaned in his ear and trembled behind him, Jule shouted his name and came all over the side of his car.
“Christ,” Tor said hoarsely. He kissed the back of Jule’s now sweaty head and wrapped his arm around Jule’s waist, holding him close.
They breathed together, hearts slowing down, and Jule tried not to cry at how good it felt.
“Ty was right. You’ve lost weight.” Tor slid out of him and pulled up his pants.
“You need to take better care of yourself.”
He turned around, shoulder brushing against Tor as he did it because he hadn’t budged. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Don’t,” Tor murmured and leaned forward. He wove his fingers through the back of Jule’s hair and kissed him gently.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t fight with me right now. I can’t stay long.”
“Tor,” he pleaded.
“I mean it. It’s not safe.”
“Said the man who ran toward bullets instead of away from them. Who the fuck does that?”
“Jule,” he sighed.
“Is your father looking for you? Does he know you saw?”
“He knows.” Tor sighed again and reached down between them. He adjusted Jule in his boxers and then zipped and buttoned his jeans. “I think it’s best if you go to school out of state.”
“What? Why? No.”
“Your mother’s been wanting you to do that the whole time anyway. Cali’s nice. You can go there.”
“Since when do I give a fuck what my mother wants? If I move away, I won’t get to see your brothers.” He paused. “Or you, if you ever come back.”
“It’s not forever. Just a few years while things cool down here.”
“Tor.”
“I’ll find a way to call. I’ll come see you when I can.” He kissed Jule gently. “Get out of here, Julie. Go to college. Make friends. Date. Live a normal life.”
“I don’t want normal.”
Tor laughed. “I know. Do it anyway. You can’t destroy your life. I won’t let you.”
“I’m the one destroying my life?” He arched his eyebrows. “Where are you going to college, Tor? Nowhere, that’s where. You were the smartest person in our school. You aced every AP test, and for what? Nothing, that’s what. Don’t tell me I’m the one destroying my life!”
The yelling and accusations didn’t ruffle Tor, nothing ever did. He was the most maddeningly even-keeled person Jule had ever met.
“I’m doing what I need to do.” He kissed Jule softly, tenderly. “Go follow our plan for both of us, even if I can’t do it with you.” He caressed Jule’s cheek. “Get your head back in the game. Go to college. Live a normal life. Please.”