Chapter 7 – Age 21
“Where’s Eric?”
“He ran off when you started wailing on your not-cousin.” Patrick shook his head. “Which was about sixty seconds before Brad and Henry stormed out because you started kissing him.”
“I’ll send him a text.” Jule owed Brad that much at least.
“Yeah, sure, that’ll make him feel better.” Patrick laughed and then cleared his throat and looked back and forth between him and Tor. “He isn’t your cousin, right?”
Jule shook his head. “No shared blood.”
Tor smirked and Jule just knew he was thinking about that bloody kiss.
“Shut it.” He kicked Tor’s foot under the kitchen table where they were sitting, fresh beers in front of them.
Patrick picked up a towel, opened the freezer door, and scooped some ice onto it. “For your face,” he explained as he held it out to Tor.
“Thanks, but I’m good.” Tor waved him off and tipped his bottle against his mouth.
“Of course you’re fine. Meanwhile, my hand hurts like a motherfucker,” Jule said, rubbing at it.
“It’s really weird to hear you cuss,” Patrick said as he handed Jule the ice.
Shaking his head, Tor said, “Frozen vegetables are better. They’re more malleable.
” He got up, went to the freezer, pulled out a bag of edamame, and then sat back down beside Jule.
“Give it here, killer.” He put Jule’s hand in his lap, carefully easing the bag around his knuckles, and held it in place. “Sorry I hurt your hand with my face.”
“Eat me.”
“Quit flirting with me in front of your roommate, Julie. You’re making him uncomfortable.”
“What’s making me uncomfortable is that this is what you consider flirting.”
Tor grinned and tipped his chin toward Patrick. “He’s alright.”
“Yeah, he is.”
Patrick was one of the few people he actually liked in California, which was why he’d agreed to move in with him when his other roommate left after they’d signed the lease.
“The boyfriend was a questionable choice, though,” Tor said. He rubbed his thumb back and forth across Jule’s palm while he continued holding the frozen edamame against his knuckles.
“Brad’s nice,” Jule said.
“Exactly.”
“You’re the one who told me to be normal!” He shoved at Tor’s shoulder with his uninjured hand. Tor didn’t move so much as an inch.
“Normal, yes. Lobotomized, no. There’s a difference.”
“I guess I can’t see the distinction. Anything but violent and unhinged looks like it’s swimming in the same murky pool.”
“Stop, you’re describing the perfect man. It’s turning me on,” Tor said.
“Now who’s flirting?” He gripped the back of Tor’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Your jaw’s really okay?” he murmured as he skated his lips across Tor’s sharp jawline.
“Promise. It takes more than a couple of punches to take me down.”
“I’ve never seen anything take you down.” Jule skimmed his mouth over Tor’s.
“You’ve seen me go down for years, Julie.” Tor’s voice was sandpaper rough.
“Well, I can see the PDA thing’s not true. So not cousins, but what exactly? Is he your ex?”
Jule looked over to Patrick. He had forgotten he was in the room.
“No,” he and Tor said at the same time. Ex implied a relationship that ended. That would never happen with them, no matter how long Tor stayed away.
He turned back to Tor and kissed him again. “Like I said, he’s family.” He brushed his hand over Tor’s head. His hair was on the long side, like it’d been when they were sixteen. He remembered tugging on it when Tor was bent over his lap, taking him deep.
“That is not how I touch my family,” Patrick said.
“If you’re really lucky, then one day you will.”
“That’s sweet.” Tor brushed their lips together.
“I can be sweet.” Jule kept his mouth against Tor’s as he spoke.
“I know.” One hand on the edamame, Tor slipped the other under his shirt. “Mmm.” He deepened the kiss.
“Ehm.” Patrick cleared his throat. “I think I’ll stay with Eric tonight. Give you guys some privacy.”
Moving apart from Tor was torture so he didn’t do it, but he did pull away from his mouth and turn his head toward Patrick. Tor nipped his earlobe. “We’ll go to my room. I know Eric’s roommate doesn’t like it when he has sleepovers.”
“He can deal for one night.” Patrick walked to the door. “These walls aren’t that thick, and I have a feeling I’ll sleep better there, even with his roommate whining.” He walked out with a wave.
“The walls aren’t thick, but something else is.” Jule’s hand was still on Tor’s lap, so he moved it across his erection.
“That’s horrible,” Tor said, chuckling against Jule’s mouth.
“A little corny, but accurate.” Jule flipped his hand over and gripped Tor through his jeans.
“A lot horny, but accurate.”
Jule grinned and reached for Tor’s jean buttons as he lowered himself to his knees.
“There go the frozen veggies.”
“Shut the fuck up and scoot the chair back. There’s not enough room under here.”
Tor moved his ass off the chair and pushed it with one foot while he pulled his underwear under his balls. “I remember when you were small enough to fit under tables.” He sat back down and spread his legs.
“I bet you do.” Jule wedged himself between strong thighs and snaked his palm around Tor.
“Damn.” He dipped down, inhaled Tor’s musky scent, and moaned.
That alone was nearly enough to push him over edge.
“You always smell so good.” He lapped at Tor’s balls, mouthed the base of his cock, and licked his way up a bulging vein and over to his crown.
“Jesus, Julie.” Tor dragged his fingers against the top of Jule’s head. He glanced up to see Tor’s neck arched, head tipped back, and eyes closed. His expression was blissful. “I am so hard it hurts.”
“A punch to the face doesn’t faze you but a blow job hurts?” Jule swirled his tongue around Tor’s cockhead and then sucked on it.
“Exactly,” Tor said breathlessly. “Keep that in mind next time you’re trying to punish me.”
“Dick,” he whispered and gently palmed Tor’s sac.
“Uh huh.”
Done talking, Jule focused on the treasure in front of him.
He caressed Tor’s balls, rubbed his cheek against his shaft, dug his tongue into his slit, and eventually dropped his mouth over his erection.
He let his saliva drool out, making the act wet and messy as he glided up and down, sucking and licking.
Above him, Tor panted and groaned. Around him, Tor’s legs flexed and shook.
And against him, Tor’s hands clutched and clawed.
It wouldn’t be long now. He knew exactly how Tor sounded and felt when he was getting off.
That familiarity did it for him as much as everything else, and when Tor gripped his hair, his body frozen in that last second of rapture, he shoved his hand into his own pants and stroked himself fast, coming while he tasted and swallowed Tor’s release.
Chest heaving, he rested against Tor’s lap, his face pressed against his naked groin while Tor brushed his fingers through his hair. “Come up here,” Tor said after a couple of minutes.
“’Kay.” He straightened and tried to force his worn-out body off the floor. “I can’t move. You broke me.”
Tor bent down, slid his arms under Jule’s, and hauled him up. He was bigger than Tor, always had been, but Tor was stronger, always had been.
“Thanks.” He straddled Tor’s lap and laid his head on his shoulder, face pressed into his neck. “Are you going to tell me where you’ve been?”
“Can’t.” Tor wound his arms around him and held him tight.
He sighed but didn’t say anything. He had learned long ago that no amount of shouting or whining or punching would motivate Tor to say or do anything. “I hate it when we go this long without talking.”
“Me too.”
“Did you check in with your brothers?”
“Uh huh.” Tor kissed the top of his head. “Called them on the drive out here.”
“How are they?”
“Good. Trey got his six-month chip. That’s the longest he’s stayed sober so far.”
“Good for him. Glad he keeps trying.”
“Yeah. Ty’s not with whatever that latest one was named.”
“Darlene, and of course not. Dude goes through women faster than underwear.”
“No reason to throw away perfectly useable underwear.”
He pinched Tor’s nipple and he softly chuckled.
“Tan’s seeing someone new.”
“He got out?”
“Yeah, it was only a misdemeanor. He did four months. No big deal.”
“Think it’ll last with this new one?”
Tor shrugged. “Who knows. He’s as bad as Ty when it comes to commitment.”
“My therapist would probably say we all have mommy issues or daddy issues that led to commitment issues.”
“Those are clinical terms?” Tor teased.
“You know what I mean.” He put his palm over Tor’s chest and squeezed his firm pec. Tor was all lean muscle.
“Maggie’s starting school in August. Can you believe that?”
“I still can’t believe Trav has a kid.” He kissed Tor’s neck. “Did he say anything about Angela?”
“No. I don’t think she’s come around in a long time. Doesn’t want to be a mother, I guess.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Uh-huh. The family’s all pitching in though. That girl’s everyone’s princess.”
“Last time I was home, I went over there. It was like a pink bomb exploded in the trailer.”
Tor chuckled and rubbed his back.
“We were that age when we met,” Jule whispered against his skin.
“I know.” Tor brushed his lips over Jule’s forehead. “I remember everything about that day.”
He cradled the side of Tor’s neck and kissed the bottom of his chin. “Me too.”
“I’m beat but I need a shower before we crash.” Jule tossed their bottles in the recycling bin.
“Same.” Tor flipped off the kitchen light. “I saw your digs when I put my bag down. Shower looked big enough.”
“Since when does that matter?” Jule bumped his hip against Tor. “We squished together in the one at home all the time.”
“True. We didn’t get enough credit for our efficiency.” He snaked his arm around Jule’s hip and rested it on his ass.
“Uh-huh. Efficiency.” He mirrored Tor’s position and squeezed his ass. “That’s why your brothers were banging on the walls and yelling at us to keep it down. We were being too efficient.”
“I am extremely efficient,” Tor rumbled as he tugged Jule into his chest and nibbled on his neck. “Never had the hot water run out before I got the job done.”
Jule laughed and nudged him away. “Keep it in your pants until we get them off.” He pulled his shirt over his head as he walked into his bedroom.
“Toss your shit into the hamper with mine. We have a washing machine. I’ll run a load later.
” He shoved his jeans and underwear down and then kicked them up into his hand and added them to the hamper before he walked into the bathroom and over to the toilet.
“Your back is ripped.” Tor came over and grazed his hand down Jule’s back.
“Been working out a lot. It’s a healthy way to wear out my body and keep my violent tendencies in check, according to my therapist.”
“Uh huh.” Tor caressed his flank.
“Not as fun as fighting though.”
He chuckled and peppered kisses over Jule’s neck and across his shoulders. “Or fucking.”
“This is getting uncomfortable. Wait ’til I’m done pissing to get me hard.”
Tor laughed and moved away. When Jule finished, he turned toward him and froze. “When’d you get that?” He moved closer and traced his fingers over the letters on Tor’s chest. Loyalty was scrawled on the left side, over his heart.
Tor didn’t speak but he didn’t move away either. They both knew the answer to his question. The tattoo wasn’t there the last time they were together eight months ago. He also had an answer to the question he had asked earlier, or at least part of it. He raised his gaze from Tor’s chest to his face.
“How long?”
Tor remained quiet.
“I know prison ink when I see it, Tori. Seen enough of it on Ty and his buddies since we were kids. How long?”
“Let it go.”
“What’d you do?” He flattened his palm over Tor’s tattoo.
“What I had to.”
“What does that mean?”
Tor shook his head. “Let it go.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I could have helped. Could have talked to some of my parents’ friends who have connections. Could have paid for a lawyer. I could have—”
“No,” Tor’s voice was firm. “You will never, ever do that.” He put his hand on Jule’s chin and held him still as he met his gaze. “You will not tell anyone back home that you know me. Not for any reason.”
“People already know that I know you. They’ve known since we were kids.”
“That’s different. Those are the people we grew up with from the neighborhood. They don’t know anything else. They’re not involved in anything. They aren’t part of your life.”
“Stop it! I don’t care what my mother or my grandparents think. If I can help you—”
“If you want to help me, if you care what I think, then you’ll do what you’re supposed to do and stay quiet like we agreed.”
“Like you demanded and I went along with, you mean?”
“You cannot involve yourself in my life.”
“What the fuck does that shit even mean, involve myself? You are my life!”
Tor closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them, he looked tired. “Can I trust you?”
Jule reared back and then planted both palms on Tor’s chest and shoved him. “Fuck you. Of course you can trust me. What the hell, Tori?”
“Then keep it together. Stay quiet no matter what you hear. No talking to family friends. No hiring lawyers. No nothing. Got it?”
“Do you plan to get locked up again?” he shouted. “You’re too smart for this shit, Tor.” He gripped both of Tor’s shoulders and shook him. “What the fuck are you doing with your life?”
“What I have to do.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Don’t do this,” Tor said quietly.
“Do what?”
“Make it impossible for me to see you. It’s hard enough for me to make it happen and I probably shouldn’t, but I…” He gulped and then cleared his throat and gently caressed Jule’s cheek. “You cannot imagine how much I miss you.”
Jule huffed. “Really, I can’t?”
“When have I ever betrayed you, Julie?” He smoothed his thumb across Jule’s jaw.
“I didn’t say you betrayed me. I said I want to help you.”
“I know you do.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Jule’s. “And you are helping. Keeping this distance, staying quiet, staying safe. That’s helping me.” He deepened the kiss. “I need you to believe that I know what I’m doing.”
“I wish I knew,” Jule responded in a whisper.
Tor rested his forehead against Jule’s and dug his fingers into his hair. “I know.”