Chapter 15
THE NEXT MORNING, I wake with a head full of static and a body full of bruises I can’t account for.
It’s safe to say Travis and I had a really good night.
I drag myself upright and make coffee in Travis’s kitchen, listening to him mutter into his phone about dry amps and gaffer tape, flexing band business at eight A.M., already in a pair of jeans and nothing else.
I lean against the counter, watching the muscles in his back move.
The world is still a fucked-up place, but for fifteen minutes I pretend it belongs to us.
Eventually, he turns toward me, hanging up the phone. “I think we should go and see Chief today.”
His words shock me, because they are certainly not what I thought he would turn around saying. I blink, wondering if I heard him wrong. Travis wanting to go out of his way to see my father after what happened is admirable, and I find a whole new level of respect for him.
“You want to go and see him?”
Travis nods. “This can’t go on forever. I fucked up when I lied to him, and I owe it to him to apologize for that.”
My heart swells. “Trav...”
“Don’t start getting mushy on me, Mischief. It’s time to move forward from all of this.”
“Okay,” I exhale. “Let me finish this coffee and we will go.”
By the time we leave, the rain has let up but the air is heavy, the sky threatening to open again at any moment. Travis drives, fingers drumming on the wheel the whole way there. I trace circles on the fogged window, watching water bead down the glass.
When we arrive, the place is crawling with patched jackets and black bikes and a handful of women still lingering from the night before. All eyes track us. I see Bill on the porch, cupping a cigarette and looking like he hasn’t slept yet. He flicks the smoke, gives me a slow nod.
“Hey, kid,” he calls out. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks, Bill.” I laugh lightly, stopping at the foot of the porch and staring up at him.
He taps the rim of his coffee mug. “Your mom doing better?”
I nod. “Yeah, she’s enjoying spending time with Gran. I’m glad she has the chance to see her.”
A half-grin. “She was always a tough broad.” He glances at Travis, who stands a few paces away. “You got balls coming in here, boy. I respect it, though.”
“Yeah,” he murmurs.
Bill leans in, lowering his voice. “Chief’s in the office. With Jaq.”
I huff. “Jaq’s here?”
He gives me a look. “She’s always here. She never leaves unless he tells her to.”
A long, drawn-out exhale. “Well, wish me luck.”
He grins. “Good luck, kids.”
We move through the compound and into the far back shed where Chief’s office is. I hesitate at the door. My hand is slick on the knob, and I don't know if it's the rain or the anxiety. I nod to Travis.
We enter.
Chief is behind his desk, sleeves rolled up.
Jaq is perched on the sofa in the corner, one long leg draped over the arm, half in a slip and nothing else.
She's all cleavage and smoke, cell phone glowing like a star in her hand.
She stares over at us, not even pretending to be modest. There's bottled water on the desk and a half-eaten sandwich.
God, she’s foul.
Chief looks up, his eyes moving to Travis then to me. He doesn’t say anything because Jaq gets in first. "What, it's bring your boyfriend to work day?" she drawls.
“Shut the hell up, Jaq,” I snap.
Chief ignores the argument and leans back in his chair. “What brings you two in here?”
I glance at Travis, but before I can even say anything, he is stepping forward, shoulders squared, ready to take on even more of Chief if he has to.
I love that about him. "I fucked up, Chief.
No excuses. I lied to you, I lied to her.
Wasn't smart. Wasn't right. I regret it.
" He pauses, knuckles white. "But it's done now.
Whatever you think of me, I'm not going anywhere.
She's everything to me and I need you to know that. "
"You think that love is enough?" Chief's voice is soft, deadly. "You think love is a fucking song on the radio."
"I know it's more," Travis growls. “I’m not a fuckin’ idiot, Chief. You raised me, which means you know that I know the meaning of the word family.”
Chief goes silent, their eyes locked. "You broke her heart before. You lied. You did everything I taught you not to do.”
"I fucked up, you think I don’t know that?" Travis won't look away. "But I'd die before I did it again."
Jaq rolls her eyes, cigarette bobbing in her lips. "I got a twenty that says he caves in a year."
"Shut the fuck up," Chief says, barely audible.
She leans back, unbothered.
I find my voice. "We came here out of respect. I...we love you, Dad. I don’t want to lose you. I love him, and I don’t want to lose him. It’s just not a choice anymore.”
"It's always your choice, baby girl," Chief murmurs. "But you gotta make your own choices, and there isn’t a lot I can do to stop that. Doesn’t mean I like it.”
Travis reaches for my hand. Chief eyes the movement, expression unreadable.
"What if you catch him slipping? What if he goes dark again? Your mother, I fuckin’ broke her and she was never the same. This world fucks people up.”
“Mom is stronger than you think,” I say, pushing my chin out.
“You didn’t know the girl I knew. Maybe if you did, you would see just how much damage me being in her life created...”
“That’s on you, Dad,” I say, carefully. “You made those choices, but not everyone is you. He isn’t you.”
He flinches, and I know my words hurt. Travis' grip tightens. "I'll never hurt her, Caden."
Hearing him use my dad’s real name makes my chest tighten.
"You will," Chief says. "You won't mean it, but you will. That's life. You fight, you bleed, you fuck up.”
"I've bled before," I whisper. “And I have survived.”
"So have I," Chief murmurs. He finally looks me in the eye, and what I see there is love so big, it could bring him to his knees.
I soften, because I know what it must be like to fear what could happen to me.
Something incredibly powerful and unspoken passes between us. Me realizing how much it hurts him to fear for me, and him realizing how much Travis matters to me.
A beat of silence passes.
"I can’t stop either of you," Chief says, flicking his gaze to Travis. "But so long as you stand by her, you stand under the brotherhood. You act like a man, you get treated like one. But you break her, Phoenix, and I'll rip your heart out with my own hands. Clear?"
"As day," Travis says. His voice is steady, unwavering.
Jaq snorts, flicks her smoke. God, I hate her.
“While you’re here, got something else I want to talk to you about.”
“Mom?”
He nods.
Jaq laughs, a sharp little knife. “Don’t waste your energy, baby. That woman brings this shit on herself.”
My hands curl into fists. “Be careful what you say next, you ugly piece of...”
“Vi.” Chief says, carefully. “Enough.”
“No, it’s fine, baby,” Jaq interrupts, and there’s something gleaming in her eyes, something feral. She wants this fight. She has always wanted this fight. “It’s your fault for picking the wrong pussy all those years ago. Now look what you’ve done...”
My throat is a live wire. “Watch it.”
She sneers. “What is it you really don’t like about me, little girl? Scared I will steal your daddy?”
Chief runs a hand down his face.
“He’s my family, it’s you who should be worried.”
She straightens, her eyes narrowing. “Fuck you.”
“No, fuck you, bitch,” I snap, stepping up closer to her.
“Enough, both of you!” Chief slams his fist on the desk and the room vibrates. “Jaq, get out.”
She glances at him, then at me, and for a second, a thin crack of something almost human shows. Then her mask snaps back. “I don’t need to be scared of you, or your mother, because it’s me he comes home to every night. Don’t forget that.”
“You’ll never be her. Never.”
Jaq’s eyes go glassy, but she smiles. “What makes you think I fucking want to be? At least I got the balls to stick around, unlike your precious mother. She went running when things got hard, like a fucking weak bitch. It was my pussy he came to when things were hard, while she sat in her little room crying...”
I snap.
I reach into my purse and pull out the gun I always keep in my purse, even though I really shouldn’t. I point it at her, but she doesn’t even flinch. She truly doesn’t think anything of me.
Jaq raises her hands mockingly. “Oh, nooooo.”
Chief doesn’t move. “Vi. Put it down.”
“I want her out,” I say, my voice hollow.
“You gonna shoot me over a little snippet of truth?” Jaq says. “Look at you, daddy’s little princess, ready to throw yet another tantrum.”
I thumb the safety off.
She laughs. “Go on, then.”
Chief is moving. Faster than I can process, he’s between me and Jaq, his back to me, arms out. “I fucking said enough.”
I lower the gun, and the room goes very, very still.
Travis is behind me, I don’t even know when he moved, nor did I feel his hand on my back, almost gently begging me to put the gun down and yet at the same time, letting me have this moment with a woman who has been a thorn in my fucking side since the moment I met her.
He knew deep down, I didn’t have it in me to shoot her.
But it still feels good, to think I could.
“Get the fuck out. We’re done.”
Chief’s voice is thundering, but it isn’t at me, it’s at Jaq.
Her eyes widen, and I lower the gun, not moving my gaze away as Travis takes it from me. “Excuse me?”
“I didn’t fuckin’ stutter, get the fuck out and don’t come back. We’re done.”
Now she has the audacity to look flustered. “But...”
“But what?” Chief growls. “You’ve only ever been easy pussy because I’m too fuckin’ lazy to do the work. You were never going to be an old lady, Jaq, and you never will be. Get the fuck out.”
“We have been fucking for years, Chief. Don’t tell me I’m club pussy.”
“Very well, I won’t say it again then. You can leave now.”
“Fuck you,” she shrieks. “You and your spoiled bitch of a daughter.”