Chapter 11 | Pony Up
11 | Pony Up DEMON DAD
She really doesn’t remember meeting when the kids were small. I can’t decide if that’s bad or good. Either way, I am clearly delusional.
Why do I care? What is happening to me? I’m never like this.
I guess, if I’m honest, all those years ago, even though we were both still married, I thought we’d connected. One parent, one person , to another. Like we could have been real friends.
Maybe.
Could I just be friends with Sasha? Sure. I’m evolved. Why the fuck not?
Because . That’s why not. Even when I talked to her now, when her brow furrowed in that adorable way, when her green eyes filled with irritation and something harder to name, I just wanted to reach out and tug her ponytail.
I shake my head, like I’m clearing an Etch A Sketch. I can’t let my brain wander beyond that. I won’t. I’m cut off.
And I have the rest of my run to try not to think about it. About her . I close my eyes against the breeze. Against the image of her scowling. Of her on top of things. Turn my podcast louder. Focus on work. Blast out the noise.
I ruined my pace. But at least I apologized.
TO-DO
Finish the run, extra fast.
Get over yourself.
Stop thinking about Sasha.
When that fails, try harder.
Try harder.
Try.
Harder.