Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Do you think David was acting weird?” Claire scanned the crowded parking lot, hoping to find a free spot in the pier parking lot.
Being Friday night, the out of towners were, well, in town making the population of Pismo explode at the seams. Come Monday, Pismo would be half the size. Summertime always brought the crowds too, every day of the week. Then Claire remembered that by summer, she and Alexis would be in Los Angeles. The thought depressed her. Being in Pismo these past months made Claire question everything.
She gripped the steering wheel harder, making her knuckles turn white. Living with no thought of tomorrow wasn’t exactly working. Her stomach twisted on itself. Something was off with David. She could sense it in her bones. No doubt seeing Lauren was a big part of it. He never talked about her, and only mentioned once he was divorced.
“No,” Alexis’s fingers froze on her cell phone screen. She shifted, glancing over at her. “Is something off between you two?”
Claire spotted someone walking to their car. Bringing the car to a crawl, she followed them back to their car to take their spot. “David’s ex-wife was at the dance performance.”
Alexis’s jaw dropped. Her eyes dilated. “Say what?”
Skillfully, Claire pulled into the tight spot and turned off the ignition. Flipping down the visor mirror, Claire scrutinized her appearance, wondering what Lauren thought of her, which was ridiculous, because who cared what a woman she met once thought of her? Grabbing her lipstick out of her purse, Claire reapplied her lipstick then closed the mirror and pushed the visor back up.
Tossing her lipstick inside her purse, Claire zipped it closed. She shifted in her seat to face Alexis. “Lauren, that’s David’s ex-wife, was there with her new husband. I don’t know the whole story, but David acted like a deer in the headlights. He just froze, and I was forced to carry on a conversation with two people I don’t even know.”
Also, Claire didn’t reveal he ditched her after the performance was over. Literally, he left without even looking over his shoulder. Maybe David spotted his ex-wife and was trying to avoid speaking to her? That would make sense.
Alexis unbuckled her seat belt. “Yikes. Ex-wife, awkward.” She raised an eyebrow.
“You’re telling me,” Claire muttered under her breath.
“Do you think he’s still in love with his ex-wife?” asked Alexis.
“No,” Claire replied much too quickly. “I mean, I don’t think it’s like that, but then again, I don’t know their history. But I do think seeing Lauren might have messed with David’s head. Like maybe he isn’t ready for anything with me.”
“Perhaps…” Alexis opened her car door. “But I’m sure it’s fine. You said the ex-wife was with her new husband. So, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Pushing her door open too, Claire slipped out and shut her door. Alexis came around the car, stopping beside her.
Claire continued, “I’m not threatened by Lauren. I’m only worried about how seeing her might make David question if he’s ready to move on, to be with me.” She tried to shrug casually. “Maybe I’m only the rebound girl.”
Alexis wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Ahh, don’t worry, big sis. David looks at you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread. I don’t think you’re the rebound. I think David thinks you’re the one . Why else would he spend time with you and fall further in love with you when we’re moving?”
David’s arrival from behind them made Claire jump. “Whoa, I didn’t see you there,” said Claire. Her hand flew to her chest.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you ladies ready?” David shoved his hands into his pockets instead of reaching for Claire’s hand.
He never did that before, but maybe Claire was imagining things.
Smoothing out her hair, Claire replied, “Yes. Let’s go.”
“Woohoo!” declared Alexis.
Alexis dashed toward the yogurt shop, leaving them a few feet behind. They walked the block from the pier parking lot to Pismo Yogurt in silence. A couple of times, Claire glanced over at David, but he stared straight ahead at the sidewalk. Right when Claire was going to ask if everything was okay, David reached for her hand, interlocking his fingers with hers. Claire melted against his arm, wanting to feel him close and settle the pounding in her temples. We’re okay. See? Nothing has changed. There’s nothing to worry about. Lies, all lies. She didn’t need to see the distance to know that it was there.
Arriving at Pismo Yogurt, the small shop was vacant, because only a half hour remained until they closed. Alexis didn’t waste any time loading up her cup with vanilla yogurt and a mountain of candy toppings.
Claire picked the original tart and put some fruit on it. David selected chocolate with Oreos and peanut butter cups. After David paid, they sat at the table near the window facing the sidewalk which led to the pier. Even though the hour was late, people were still walking by in a steady stream. Their conversation stayed on Alexis’s performance.
“I still can’t get over that last lift,” said David with spoon in hand. “I mean you nailed the landing. I’m so impressed.” He took a bite of his yogurt.
Alexis paused, rubbing her hands back and forth over the sweatpants she had thrown over her leotard. “Was it when I went from my partner spinning me into the landing?”
David’s face lit up. “Yep.” He snapped then pointed. “That’s the one. It was spectacular.”
“It took me three weeks to master the spin and twist.” Alexis smirked. “I knew you’d like ballet.” She did a funky dance with her shoulders, while she took another bite of her yogurt.
Smiling, David replied, “I like watching you do ballet. Thanks for inviting me.”
“You bet,” said Alexis. “I’m glad you came.”
“I liked the second to last number.” said Claire as she took her last bite of yogurt. “The one where the ballerinas did triple spins in unison.”
“Ahh, yes, we’ve been working on that for months.” Done with her yogurt, Alexis tossed the empty cup and spoon into the neighboring trash can. Crossing her arms, she sighed, “I’m going to miss my dancer friends when we move.” Her face slackened and shoulders drooped.
Alexis stared out the window. The air became static, sucking the playful retelling of the night away. Silence hovered around their table. Claire didn’t look over at David but felt his gaze on her. It made her skin itchy.
Claire wrung her hands together. “I’m sure you’ll miss Pismo. I will too. But we’ll make sure we come to visit.” She managed a forced smile. Her heart ached to think of what she was leaving, especially David.
“It won’t be the same.” Shaking her head, Alexis stared out the window. “Nothing will ever be the same.”
Claire caught Alexis’s glance in the reflection of the window. “No, it won’t,” said Claire softly. “But we’ll be okay.”
An employee stopped in front of their table. “We’re closing up,” said the employee.
David stood. “No problem. We’ll head out. Thanks.” He pushed in his chair and gathered up his trash.
Standing too, Claire tossed her trash. “Sorry, we didn’t realize the time.”
David strode to the door, holding it open for Claire and Alexis to exit. As they walked toward the parking lot, a voice called out Alexis’s name.
Glancing up the street, Claire squinted her eyes as they adjusted to the darkness of night. Juliet ran toward them.
“Alexis!” Juliet arrived in front of them out of breath. “I thought that was you. Are you leaving? Or do you have time to hang out? I’m headed to the arcade with my mom and brother. Do you want to come?”
Waving at Juliet’s mom and brother, Claire smiled then glanced at Alexis.
Shifting toward Claire, Alexis clasped her hands together and pleaded, “Please, can I go?”
Claire glanced at her watch. “Sure,” she held up a finger. “But only for a half hour.”
Alexis and Juliet ran off together, catching up to where Juliet’s mom and brother were waiting. Once they were out of sight, Claire inched toward David. “Do you want to go for a walk so we can talk?”
David ran a hand down the length of his face. “We can go for a walk.” His shoulders dropped. “But it doesn’t mean I’m excited about what you want to talk about.”
“I’m sure that’s true.” Claire shifted her weight, glancing down the sidewalk toward the ocean and pier. “Do you want to walk the pier or the sand?”
“Sand,” replied David.
Claire nodded, shoving her hands into her pockets. The ocean breeze nipped at her skin, making her shiver. They walked in silence the remaining block to the beach. Waves crashed on the shore, making the sound vibrate through her. Once at the edge of the sand, both stopped and removed their shoes, carrying them with them.
David reached for her hand with his free hand, leading her closer to the water’s edge where the sand was firm and smooth and easier to walk on. Their footprints left a trail behind them. Only the lights from the pier along with the stars up in the sky lit their way. Claire wondered who would speak first.
Finally, David broke the quiet. “Lauren left me,” stated David. His voice cracked. “We met in college. I was crazy about her, and I couldn’t wait to marry her. As soon as we graduated, we got married…” His voice drifted off, stopping, he stared out at the ocean.
Claire came to a halt beside him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze and not wanting to interrupt, she waited for him to continue.
David let go of her hand and rubbed the back of his neck. Glancing over at her, he asked, “Do you mind if we sit for a while?”
And Claire saw it, written in his eyes. This was their end, and Claire didn’t know how to stop it.
Maybe it was the chilly air, but Claire’s teeth started to chatter. “Sure.” She tried to sound casual, but her heart thundered.
They walked up the small sandy hill to where the sand was dry. Dropping her shoes, Claire plopped herself down on the sand. David sat down next to her, cradling his knees with his arms.
Both stared out at the seemingly endless view of ocean. Claire’s hands shook, and she placed them underneath her, sitting on top of them. The pounding of her heart made her anxious. When David didn’t continue, Claire said, “So, what happened next?”
David’s chest heaved with a long exhale. “What didn’t happen?” He shook his head, glancing down at his feet. “We married. I thought we were happy and in love, but I still had dental school then an orthodontics residency. It was long and hard, and I probably wasn’t the best spouse to Lauren. She was alone a lot. I wished she hadn’t been, and I regret that part. Lauren proved to be overly critical of me. Anything I did was wrong. I never made her happy. I knew we weren’t doing great, but I thought things would get better. If I could just finish school and start my own practice, then we could be happy. Then we’d have money, and I’d have more time.
“But one day out of the blue I came home, and Lauren told me she was moving out. I was completely blindsided. She told me she met someone new. Zach. They’d been carrying on together for a while behind my back.” David shifted, leaning back on both of his hands at his sides. He stretched his legs out and crossed his ankles. “I was too late to fix anything, and she didn’t even want to try. She loved Zach and not me and that was that.”
Claire tilted her head toward him, taking in the entire image of him. She wondered how anyone could ever stop loving David. He was the most loveable guy she’d ever met. Kind and thoughtful, patient and understanding, and it broke her heart Lauren hadn’t seen what only took her one day to see. David was someone worth rewriting your entire life for, not someone you left.
Drawing a circle in the sand with her finger, Claire replied, “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine. It must’ve been heartbreaking. For you to have everything you ever wanted and then have it disappear. I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out.”
“It was horrible because I loved Lauren. I wanted to be with her, but Lauren didn’t love me anymore. I often wonder whether she ever really loved me.” David straightened his back, running his hand through his hair. “It still hard. I struggle. I question my worth. I think I’m unlovable. Sometimes I question if I have what it takes to ever get married again. It terrifies me to give my heart over to someone and know I could have it happen again—divorce. I couldn’t do it. It would break me.”
“I can’t argue with you. I think those are valid concerns.” Claire rubbed her hands together to rid them of the sand. Desperately, she wanted to wrap her arm around David and tell him, she chose him. He was special and Lauren was a fool, but David already seemed so distant. Like she’d already lost him, and there wasn’t a way to get him back. Clearing her throat, she said, “But maybe the second time around you’ll get it right. You’ll find the right person. Maybe you’ll be happier than you ever imagined, and Lauren will become a distant memory, and your doubts will disappear.”
David shrugged. “Maybe,” he mumbled.
“So, seeing Lauren again, did it…” Claire stumbled over her words, unsure of how to say the things bottled up inside of her. She mustered up the courage to continue, “make you question us?”
David shifted, wrapping his arm around Claire’s shoulders. She leaned into the warmth radiating off his body. “I don’t know. I don’t know about anything anymore. Seeing Lauren has messed with my head. I wished it hadn’t, but it did.”
Claire’s insides churned on themselves. David might still love Lauren, and he might never stop loving her. And Claire was leaving in a month. It was a double sucker punch to the gut.
Cradling her knees, Claire said, “So what are you saying? Do you think you’re not ready to be with me?”
“I’m beginning to see I got swept up in the idea of you,” said David. “I really enjoy being around you and Alexis, but I don’t know. I just don’t know...” His voice trailed off, and he stared down at his feet.
His words stung. Wiggling out of his arms, Claire grabbed her shoes beside her. “I’m leaving in a month.” Claire stood and brushed the sand off her backside with her free hand. “Maybe we shouldn’t pretend anymore that it isn’t happening.”
“I…” David stumbled to his feet, swiping his sandy hands on his pants. He bent back down and picked up his shoes. “I know you’re leaving, but I enjoy spending time with you and Alexis. I want to hang out with you until you both move.”
Hang out? Is that what they’ve been doing? She was so blind, and she hated herself for believing David was falling for her too. In her pain and sorrow, her judgement was impaired. Impaired enough to have her make choices she never should’ve made.
Claire moved first, walking back toward the pier. “I think this should be the last night we see each other.” She didn’t wait for him.
David jogged to catch up with her. “Why? I don’t understand. We said we’d wait until you moved to worry about the future.”
Claire didn’t slow down, taking fast strides to get back to the sidewalk. He didn’t get it. Not at all. Claire loved him. David only saw her as a distraction. A project to fill his time. When they reached the edge of the sand, Claire stopped to put back on her shoes.
“What did I say?” David bent down and put on his shoes too. “Claire, talk to me.”
The fact David didn’t even know, told Claire everything she didn’t want to believe.
Glancing up the sidewalk, Claire spotted Alexis with Juliet a few blocks away. She waved, and Alexis waved back. “David…” Her voice cracked. She hated how much she cared, how much her heart was ripping out of her chest. “I appreciate everything you’ve done to help me and Alexis, but we’re fine.” She met his gaze. “We leave in a month, and I don’t see the point in dragging this out. I wish you nothing but the best.”
“But,” David reached to touch her arm.
Claire took a step forward out of reach of his grasp. “Bye David.” She shoved her hands into her pockets and walked away, leaving him lingering on the sidewalk.
She thought he’d call out for her. But he didn’t. She hoped he would jog to catch up with her, but he stayed in his place. So, Claire walked away, and David let her go.