Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fiftee n
Emberli
T he boardwalk on the nature reserve is filled with numerous people who walk past us with friendly smiles and greetings. Twigs snap beneath my boots and leaves rustle to the side. The occasional group of women pass us and whisper amongst each other when they see Thayne, their excitement drops the minute their eyes switch to me, disgust is a better word for the looks I get after.
“You’re pretty popular around here.” I state as I sip the coffee that warms up my hands.
The weather had dropped recently as we came out of summer and into a more colder season. The sun still shone and there were often fleeting spells of warmness that took part in keeping me mellow.
I hug my cardigan closer to my chest as Thayne glances down at me, clueless. “What?”
“Do you not see all the women who look at you when you pass them?”
“Not really, no. I’m not interested in them.”
Typical man. So unknowing and naive.
“Interesting.” It seemed most of the females in this town would jump at the opportunity to date Thayne, but he showed no interest in doing so.
“Are you homosexual?”
Thayne looks at me once again. “No.”
“Interesting.”
“You’ve said that twice now.”
“Right.”
Silence consumes us as we walk in sync, listening to the chirping of the nearby birds and clicking of my boots. I had no clue why Thayne asked me to go on this walk with him this morning because it was as if the man didn’t know how to converse properly. Instead, we walked in the quiet.
I understood why Thayne and his family loved it here so much. This town was special. I wasn’t sure the reason for Thayne’s recent kindness, or for showing me around his family’s reserve, but I didn’t speak much of it and instead, admired the moments that came.
“What do you think?”
Pulling me from my thoughts, I realize we’ve stopped at the end of the boardwalk, overlooking the land that Thayne’s ranch is on.
It seems as if it’s miles away and I didn’t realize we had walked so far, but the view is worth every second.
Seeing the dumbfounded look on my face, Thayne’s lips curl with humor. “What do you think of the view?”
“It’s beautiful.” I nod and he agrees, looking out onto the spread out meadows before us. “Why did you bring me here?”
“You’ve seen Shadow Peaks but you haven’t seen the hidden gems of it.”
“And this is a hidden gem?”
“Do you see anyone else around?” I take a look around us and see not a body in sight.
Turning back to Thayne, I raise an eyebrow. “Are you going to kill me out here and dump my body?”
He laughs. “Not my style, trouble. I actually brought you here to talk. ”
“To… talk?” I say slowly.
“That’s what I said.” He sits on a bench, before gesturing to the seat beside him.
“Christ, Emberli. You look so uncomfortable.” He comments as I sit down on the hardened bench. I feel just as uncomfortable as Thayne paints me out to be. My back has suddenly straightened to a firm piece of wood and everytime I move, it’s as if I’m Pinocchio.
“Sorry. You don’t seem like the type to talk.”
He shifts and tilts his head. “Well, you’re right. But I figured we’d better start, considering we’re living together now.”
“Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
The bonus of this is that it could not get any more awkward than it already is. I sit in forced elegance with my legs crossed, which is unbelievably hard to do when pregnant and in a dress, may I add.
“Elijah.”
“I don’t know where he is.”
“Emberli.” His hand shoots out to my leg, resting his hand on it as his eyes lock with mine. “That’s not what I was going to ask.”
He pauses for a moment, neither of us talk about the palm of his hand that rests on my kneecap. “What happened between you two?”
I suck in a breath. The only people who knew mostly everything about Elijah and what he did to me were my mom and Willow. And even then, I didn’t tell them everything. Some of what Elijah did would definitely be warranted prison time.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to.”
“It’s fine. You should know.” I nod. “It wasn’t the healthiest of relationships and at the time, I didn’t think it was as bad as it was. ”
“What was he like?”
God. How do I even answer that question?
“He was… nice. Until he wasn’t,” I say, staring down at my hands. I’d never been one for sharing information, especially the type that had hurt me, but here I was, lowering my walls for a man who I’d only recently started to get along with. “He never hit me. Not, not aggressively. He never hurt me like that,” I specify after seeing Thayne’s hardened glare of indignation shoot through me. He doesn’t say a word, he only listens.
“But it was his words that did and his… I don’t know. It sounds stupid but his lack of care, I guess. I think he loved me more as something he could control rather than me as a person. And I was just stupid enough to do anything he said because I was scared to lose him. I prioritised him over everything, myself included. I didn’t even know who I was anymore when I woke up and he was gone. That sounds pathetic doesn’t it?”
“No.” Thayne’s voice is so quiet that I almost can’t hear him.
“We argued all the time. And most of it was my fault because I’d spring how I felt onto him. It would always end in an argument and I’d always be the one apologizing. He… he would say that nothing was wrong and then treat me like there was. I’d feel as if I was going crazy and I’d become a major bitch. I mean major. I would yell and cry and scream wondering why he wasn’t listening to me, but I was just feeding everything he was saying. That was when I knew I didn’t love him. I’m not sure I ever did. I think I was more in love with the idea of love and everything Elijah promised me. Everything he never gave me. He simply kept me by stringing me along and promising things that never happened. I was just stupid enough to think he’d change like he promised. The saddest part is, when I woke up and he was gone, I felt relieved. I felt like I could finally breathe.”
I don’t even realize I’m crying until the tears drop onto my hands below me.
“Oh my God.” I mumble, reaching up to wipe my face when Thayne’s hand gets there before me. His expression is almost unreadable but his eyes remain soft, unguarded.
“Hey… hey, hey.” He pulls me into his arms and holds me there. And for the first time in a long time, I feel safe. “It is not your fault. You hear me?”
I nod and try my best to put aside my pride once I realize how ridiculous I look .
“I’m sorry for what he did to you.”
“He didn’t hit me.” I shake my head. “He didn’t.”
“No. He may have not hit you, trouble. But he did just as much damage.”
“Thayne?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry for what he did to you too.”