Chapter 41 West
It’s almost been a goddamn week. A fucking week.
My chest feels like a cobra is wrapped around it tightly, constricting all air flow, and I can’t fucking breathe.
I need her like I need air.
I won’t give up on finding her, even if it takes the rest of my life.
The entire town of Lavender Falls has volunteered to help search, and I wish she could see how much she means to us all. The window of Lemon and Lavender is full of sticky notes from community members sharing stories of Jade and how much she’s missed.
I pray to whoever is out there that she gets to read each and every single one someday.
I’m clicking on my inbox to reply back to search and rescue when my computer crashes. Fucking piece of shit.
Pushing away from my desk, I head out to the lobby to use Ian’s computer.
It’s the only one we haven’t had problems with lately.
I click on the little mail icon and scroll up to log out, but before I do, something catches my eye.
The screen was left open on his sent folder, and there are a handful of emails sent to an email in Jade’s name.
What the fuck?
With shaky hands, I roll the cursor to the last sent email and click.
I blink, and my stomach fucking plummets.
What the fuck is this?
I think I’m going to be sick.
The hair comment.
My mind fucking spins. How long has he known? And what the fuck has he done?
The doors to the station open, and I don’t even fucking think, I just fucking pounce.
“Where the fuck is she!?” Gripping the collar of Ian’s shirt, I slam him against the wall.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Cade tries to pull me off, but I won’t fucking budge.
“Where is she, Ian?” I snarl, slamming him against the wall again.
“What the fuck is going on?” Cade demands, trying to pry my fingers from Ian’s shirt.
“Tell me what you know, or I’ll fucking kill you!” My voice cracks, and tears start to flow.
“I don’t know anything! I swear to you, West, I don’t know where she is!”
“Liar!” I scream, punching him in the gut.
“Okay, that’s enough!” Cade screams. “West, let go of him right now, or I’ll have to arrest you.”
“Please.” My voice breaks, and my grip loosens enough for Cade to pull me away.
“Can someone please fill me in on what the fuck is happening?” Cade barks.
“He’s been messaging her.”
Cade’s head swings to Ian, and he takes a step forward. “What the hell is he talking about, Ian?”
“I swear, I don’t know where she is.” His hands raise, and his lip is bleeding from biting down on it when I slammed him against the wall.
“I need to know what you know, Ian.”
“About a month ago, I saw Garrett on his computer. There was an article up about a family that was murdered. It was right after that first victim. I guess he was doing research on past stabbings or something, I don’t even know, but anyways, he got called out, and I thought, what a gnarly story, so I kept reading.
I didn’t think much of it again. And then one day, Jade looked so familiar to me and I couldn’t place why. I asked you, remember?”
I nod, remembering that day.
“Well, I couldn’t shake it, so I wracked my brain, and then it clicked.
I googled that article, and bam. The girl in the picture was most definitely Jade.
She was a lot younger and her hair colour was different, but I was certain it was her.
I started dropping hints and messaging her, hoping she would come clean.
When you never said anything, I started to get pissed that she was lying to you.
But I swear to God that’s all I did. I just wanted her to be honest with you. ”
“Why wouldn’t you have just come to me, Ian? We’re friends!”
“Look, I’m sorry, man. I admit, I went about it wrong, but I never wanted her to get hurt. I didn’t even know this creep had been watching her until you put out the APB.”
“Fuck.” I slam my fist into the wall and clench my teeth at the crunch of my knuckles before storming off to my office, Cade on my heels.
“I won’t fucking survive if we don’t find her, Cade.”
“Fuck off.” Cade hurls everything on my desk to the floor, getting in my face. “Look who the fuck you’re talking to, West. You’ll survive. You have no fucking choice. You think I wanted to be here after I lost Clara? I get the pain you’re feeling, but, West, you’ll fucking survive.”
I hang my head in shame, because of course Cade understands. I won’t compare Jade missing to the death of Clara, but he’s right. I’ll need to go on.
But I won’t stop looking for her.
Not until my dying day.