Chapter Forty-Three
Melonie
I wake up an hour later from the best nap I think I’ve ever had. I probably could have just stayed asleep through the night if my bladder didn’t have other plans. Heading to the bathroom, I take care of business, and let the cold water out of the tub. I turn on the shower and step inside.
As I wash my hair, I think about the insane turn that the evening had taken. I had never let a man watch me get off before, and it was so good. When he walked in on me, I was shocked and embarrassed, but the sex-driven part of my brain took over, and I easily gave into his request. I wanted to come so badly, and it’s been so long since I’ve been with a man; maybe my body was starved for attention. I was so turned on by Linc’s words, knowing his eyes were on me, feeling powerful. I knew he had to have been turned on beyond belief and him not pushing the fact, or demanding his own orgasm, turned me on even more.
I feel a twinge of embarrassment when I think of how I asked him to choke me. But when I felt his hand around my throat, it was all I could think of. And when it drove me to my orgasm, I finally understood why people like it. It wasn’t only the physical feeling; it was also me feeling like I was doing something taboo. I read enough romance to know that a hand around my neck is mild, but my sexual experiences have been very vanilla in the past.
I rinse my hair out and run conditioner through the ends. After living with Linc for over a month, I’ve witnessed his routines. He checks the baseball scores just like my grandpa did. He has to have the sink clear of dishes before he goes to bed. His side of the fridge is chaos, but he cooks breakfast every day, even if it’s something simple like toast and fruit. I smell his aftershave every morning when he gets ready for work. He’s here to greet me every evening when I get home.
It’s like we’re a couple, but we’re not. And what we did this evening didn’t help that blurry boundary. I rinse off the body wash and turn off the water. As I towel off, I feel like there are two sides warring inside of my brain. One that tells me what we just did was inappropriate for two people who are just roommates. The other is selfish, saying that I hope he was serious when he said I could ask for his help again. I could try to reason it away, saying it’s just the pregnancy hormones, but I’m not sure that’s the reason I’m having trouble. All I know right now is that I need to work on making that boundary a bit more clear.