Chapter Fifty-Four
Linc
I walk into the venue Audrey booked for the baby shower, carrying the last of the decorations from the trunk of her SUV.
“This is the last box.” I set it down on one of the tables.
“Thank you, Linc. I guess we can start unboxing everything. We have about two hours to get everything set up.”
I open one of the boxes as Jax joins us.
“Linc, you don’t need to help; Marcus and Gigi are on their way.”
“I want to help. I want everything to be perfect for Mel.”
Audrey smiles at me. “How are things going? Are you two going to extend your lease?”
“Things are good, and we haven’t talked about it yet. We just got our renewal notice this week.”
Jax starts handing Audrey tablecloths. “Do you want to extend it?”
“Of course I do. I love living with her. I’m really glad we did it because I’ve been there for stuff like feeling the baby kick for the first time and making sure she eats.”
“That’s sweet, Linc.”
“How do you think she feels about it?” Jax starts positioning chairs around the tables as I unbox bags of party favors.
“I think she’ll be good with it. We’ve become pretty close, and nothing has been awkward. I know I drive her nuts with sports, but it’s been really good.”
“It hasn’t been hard with how you feel about her?” Jax pauses.
“Some days were hard in the beginning, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that we’ll probably never fully be a family. My main goal now is just to have her and the baby close to me. Make sure they’re cared for.”
Audrey stills, and her lips form an odd smile. “You’re doing a good job at this whole dad thing, Linc.”
“Thank you, Audrey. That means a lot to me. I knew what this could end up being from the start. I just hope Mel knows now that she can count on me.”
Audrey is still smiling at me, and it’s a little creepy. “I’m sure she does.”
Jax pats my back. “I know it must be rough, but I’m proud of you for still being there and for how you’re handling all of it.”
I nod. “Thanks.” I point to the box. “Audrey, I think these are centerpieces. Can I put them out?”
“Sure, have at it.”
I start placing the glass bowls on the tables. I know Jax and Audrey mean well with their words, but it felt like they pity me, like they have to comfort me. I came to terms with what I am to Mel a long time ago. She has continued to keep me at an arm’s distance since that night at the fundraiser. I knew I had to guard my heart, so I stuffed down my feelings for her countless times until I became a professional. Now I just want to be the best father I can be and make sure Mel has everything she needs. While I know, deep down, I still love her, that can be buried inside me in the name of being close to her.
“Mel, it’s almost three. We need to get going.” I speak through her bedroom door. I came back to the apartment after everything was set up, got ready, and now, if we don’t move things along, we’ll be late to our own baby shower.
“I’ll be out in a minute!”
I walk back to the kitchen and lean against the counter. I’m scrolling through my phone when I hear her door open. I pocket my phone, and when I look up, she’s standing a few feet from me. Her hair is up, a few pieces falling by her ears. She’s wearing a light purple dress that shows off all of her curves. She’s wearing her red lipstick. I rub my chest; it’s painful how beautiful she is.
I take a step forward. “You look incredible.”
“I’m almost eight months pregnant. I don’t know if incredible describes all this.” She motions up and down her body. “But I do feel pretty today.”
I close the distance between us. “‘All of this’?” I run my finger along her side, stopping at the curve of her hip. “‘All of this’ is curves, baby, and woman. You couldn’t be more beautiful.”
“Don’t be a flirt, Linc.”
“I’m not flirting. I’m making my observations known.”
My thumb rubs back and forth on her hip. When I touch her, it makes me want to spill my guts, forget about the barricades I have placed around my heart, and say fuck it to my self- preservation tactics. When she looks so fucking good, I want to tell her everything, tell her I still have feelings for her, but there isn’t enough time for that conversation. Or the fallout it could incur.
“We should get going.”
She looks up at me. “Yeah, we should.”
I release her hip and grab my keys before I say or do something I might regret.