CHAPTER TWO EMBER
CHAPTER TWO
EMBER
Once I’ve got Aria laid down in her pink crib, I watch her—the movement of her chest rising and falling gently. She looks so peaceful when she's sleeping. I back slowly out of the room, closing the door behind me. I lean my head up against the wall, looking up at the ceiling.
I have told Atlas about some of Dean’s antics, but I’m careful about what I tell her so that she doesn’t worry too much.
Mom knows a little about the more recent interactions, but I don’t have to tell her for her to worry.
She tried so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt all those years ago, but just as she suspected from the start, he was rotten to the core.
Dean is the sperm donor to the little boy I had at seventeen.
The one I gave up for adoption because I couldn’t imagine being a parent at that age, let alone trying to coparent with Dean.
Plenty of people do it, but it didn’t feel like the right thing to do for me.
Flashback
I sit in the doctor’s office at my six month check up.
Dean sits beside me, searching through my phone, just as he normally does.
I just got off of work at the restaurant.
My feet are swollen, and I’m resting my head against the wall, eyes closed.
Dean always goes through my phone if I’m away from him for any period of time. He always thinks I’m cheating on him.
Dean and I weren’t supposed to be seeing each other. He was the epitome of a “bad boy,” and my parents hated the idea of me being with him. My mom warned me over and over that he’d make my life harder than it had to be.
Despite the warning, we snuck around, meeting behind my parents’ backs.
When we got caught, I was grounded and my phone was taken away.
When my mom and dad found out we had been having sex, I thought I’d never see the light of day again.
I thought it was so unfair at the time, because I loved him.
But the truth was, he was always getting into trouble.
With his parents, the police, and other kids.
It was never ending. My mom knew I was a good kid.
I wasn’t one to ever get into trouble. I was a straight A student.
I’d only ever had one boyfriend. I had a few really good friends. I was happy—until he came along.
About three weeks had passed since we’d gotten caught, and while I missed the thrill of him, I was happy to not have the drama that came with him suffocating me anymore.
My mom let me start hanging out with my best friend, Levi, and we’d started to catch feelings for each other.
We were hanging out every other day, and I was excited to see what was going to happen between us.
Until the morning my mom asked if I had gotten my period. The water ran behind the curtain as I was finishing my makeup. I lowered my pencil eyeliner, not knowing how to answer her. I was shocked and embarrassed to hear my mom ask that question. I hadn’t even thought about it.
“We’re on the same cycle, Ember. It’s been six weeks since you’ve seen Dean,” she told me as she shut the water off in the shower.
I knew right then and there, even though I wanted to deny it.
“I’m scheduling an appointment at the clinic today,” Mom said.
She pulled back the shower curtain, her eyes already on me, lips tightly bitten between her teeth. We both knew.
I went to the back office by myself to be seen, crossing my fingers for good news.
We stopped at the bathroom, and I peed in the cup like the nurse instructed me to.
When we entered the confined office, the nurse took my sample and set it on the counter.
She did something else before turning to me.
“If you could take your stuff off and stand on the scale so we can get your weight.” I do as she asks and hop on the scale.
Once the nurse had my weight written down, she turned back to the counter, motioning for me to sit on the exam chair.
By the time I’d gotten settled on the chair, the nurse rolled over in her chair and looked at me. “Have you taken a pregnancy test before?” she asked in a soft tone.
I shook my head, oblivious to how any of this worked.
“Your pregnancy test is positive, Ms. Alden,” she told me before showing me the chart that estimates your due date.
“No,” I heard myself say. “No, it can’t be positive.”
“Are you here by yourself, sweetheart?” The nurse patted my hand, and I realized that I was crying.
Tears streamed down my face. “My mom.”
The nurse squeezed my hand and walked out of the door.
I sat there, staring at the wall, in complete shock. I heard the door click open, and my mom looked at me.
“Ember?” She rushed over to me, wrapping her arms around me, grabbing my face to see if I was okay. I leaned into her, and I couldn’t form words.
The nurse followed her in and explained, “Her pregnancy test did come back positive.”
My mom gasped and I felt her begin to shake as she held me tighter. “We’ll get through this, honey.”
I vaguely remember my mom asking me if I wanted to tell Dean.
I must have said yes, because we drove straight to Dean’s house when we left the clinic.
I couldn’t will myself to say the words, but my mom walked to the door with her back straight and head held high.
I watched as she knocked on the door, and turned her head and looked right at me.
I knew the moment his front door opened because I saw my mom turn away and her mouth began moving.
After a few moments, my mom motioned for me to come to her.
As I walked up the stairs, I felt my stomach drop, and I wanted to throw up.
Dean, his mom, and his step dad were all standing on their porch.
Dean came over and wrapped his arms around me.
I hugged him back without feeling anything.
I stared at nothing as the shock began wearing off, realizing what I’d done.
Dean was so happy. He held onto me and promised to be there for everything and told me how excited he was to be a dad.
How much he loved me and couldn’t wait to marry me.
Now, sitting at this six month checkup, I know it was all just for show. I do think he wants to be a dad, but he wants to be one of the dads where the mom does everything and he sits on his ass and gets all the glory of being a good parent.
Tossing my phone back to me, he says, “You better not have deleted anything.”
I sigh, it’s the same thing every day. “You checked it before I left for work. The restaurant was busy my whole shift.” I blow out my breath. “I don’t have time to talk to anyone or to delete anything between work and still going to school.”
He looks down on me. “You better not. I’m the only one that matters in your life now.”
I pinch my nose between my eyes, willing the tears to hold until later when I’m alone.
He leans over and I flinch, not because he’s ever physically hurt me, but because he has some questionable tendencies. “Besides, I got you pregnant on purpose. That way, I'll always be in your life. And nobody wants a sloppy seconds baby mama who has a screaming baby on her hip.”
My stomach drops to the lowest depths it can reach.
Present.
Even though I gave the baby up, he stayed true to his word and has been a constant annoyance in my life. It has been fifteen years, and he still does everything he can to make my life hell. The date he sent in text was the due date of our little boy.
Whenever Dean feels like he should know what I am doing or who I am seeing, he hacks into my social media accounts and goes through everything. He changes the password and then sends it to me so I can get back in. I hate the mental prison he tries to keep me in.
I contacted the help center on Facebook to see if I could change my security questions years ago, but it was a dead end.
So I endure the many times he intrudes on my life and then gives me the key to take it back—until the next time he does it—along with everything else he does to make me miserable.
Letting out my breath, I push off the wall and head back downstairs.
Before I can get down the stairs, when I round the corner, Harley is standing there, shoulder leaning against the wall.
God he looks sexy leaning there like that.
Arms crossed, the front strands of his onyx hair hang slightly in his eyes.
When I come around the corner, he looks up.
His brown eyes flash up at me. Play it cool—he doesn’t need to know anything.
I smile softly and keep walking. He reaches out and grabs me by the elbow, pressing me against the wall, an arm above my head. I look down, not meeting his eyes, fearing that he’ll see that I’m being dishonest.
“I know it’s been awhile, but I know a rattled woman when I see one,” he says coolly, as he uses his other hand to tilt my chin up to force my eyes to meet his.
I don’t say anything at first, just look down and back up. “It’s nothing, just a bitter ex.”
His jaw flexes, eyes almost shining. “A bitter ex made you lose the color in your face like that?” he says through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, it’s really no big deal. Just annoying.” I duck around his outstretched arm, getting down the stairs before he can respond. It’s fine, I'm fine, everything is fine.
I head over to my abandoned plate. Everything is mostly cold now, and I’m not hungry, but I know I have to eat just to put something in my stomach so I don’t throw up.
I shovel in the buffalo dip. Once I polished that off, I go for the hot dog.
Nothing hits better than a Costco hot dog.
I see Harley coming down the stairs, and I ready myself for more of his questions.
He glances at me before turning to the door to head outside.
Whew. I feel nervous and hot when he’s around.
Not because he scares me at all, but he’s my hot high school ex boyfriend and he gives me butterflies and all that schoolgirl bullshit.