EMBER #3
I get to my feet, feeling dumb and defensive. “I know that now, but I was fucking sixteen at the time.” My anger is sending my walls up around me.
Harley gets to his feet, pulling me into a hug, and I know he’s not mad at me—he’s mad at the situation, and the other party that was involved.
“Do you still talk to Levi?” he asks. I laugh because it was a wild switch in topic. I guess not too wild, though, since he was in the dream.
I walk around to the front of the counter, messing with the little filler items. “No, we kind of lost contact. He came by once after the baby was born, but he graduated earlier than the rest of us, and went on to college almost immediately.” I smile, he always knew exactly what he wanted to do, and he was smart enough to do it.
Harley comes around, leaning his hip against the counter. “I was always kind of jealous of him.” He bites his bottom lip, just slightly, and my eyes shoot up to meet his.
“What?” I tease him. “Why?” He laughs, letting his head hang.
“He was always around you, he made you laugh, and your mom loved him.” I bite on my bottom lip, laughing at him.
He eyes me. “You guys were a thing, weren’t you?” His eyebrows pull together, and it’s kind of entertaining to see his jealousy show.
“Levi and I casually dated when we were younger, but at the time, I wasn’t interested.” I try to find something else to do, but come up short.
“When my parents caught me and Dean sneaking around, I got everything taken away, and the only person I was allowed to talk to on the home phone was Levi.” I continued, “He knew everything that had happened, but like clockwork, he called every day.” I smile.
“After about three weeks, I was allowed to hang out with him. We went over to his house, watched movies, ate pizza, rode horses on his property.” Harley watches me, quietly listening.
“This lasted about three weeks, and we both were ready to see what would happen between us. We hadn't been physical at all outside of him grabbing my ass every now and again.” Harley’s eyes go wide, and then he relaxes. I can’t help but laugh, and I continue.
“One day, Mom told me she’d scheduled an appointment at the clinic.
I hadn’t realized how long it had been, and as soon as she said it, I knew I was pregnant.
” My heart had broken, because I did have feelings for Levi.
His mom didn’t really like me, but his dad was so sweet, and his older brother was pretty cool.
“Mom took me straight from the clinic to Dean’s front door,” I say, remembering the look on his face when he saw my mom standing there.
“We went home, and I saw the look of disappointment on my dad’s face, and I cried for hours.
” I keep going. “I set my cup of pee on the counter in the office, and I turned to sit down. By the time I was sitting and looking at the nurse, the test was already positive.” I feel sick reliving this.
“I told the nurse she was a liar, and that the test was wrong.” I blow out a breath.
“When we got home, and I'd cried out all of my tears, I called Levi. He sat and listened to everything I said, and you know what he said?” I look over at Harley, finding his eyes on me, one eyebrow lifted.
“He told me he still wanted to be with me and he’d help with the baby if I kept it.” Tears fall down my face, and I swipe them away quickly.
“I cried so hard,” I tell him. “But I fucked it all up. I told him Dean deserved a chance to be a father and for us to go through this together. That I didn’t want him to be a teen parent, and he wasn’t even the father.” I stand there, letting it all hang heavily in the air between us.
My mom knew, but I never let on how much that hurt me.
Part of me knows that I would have ruined his life, and the selfish part tells me that he would have taken care of us.
His family came from money, but he worked hard for the things he had, and he cared for me.
He was a good man, and a better one at sixteen than Dean is at his full-grown age now.
“After that, we grew apart a little,” I say, eyes on the ground, my butt leaned against the counter and my arms crossed. “Dean never knew what went on while we were apart, or he would have killed him.”
Harley stands next to me, his hip brushing mine as he leans against the counter. “He loved you, Ember.” He glances at me from the side.
“Maybe. He never fully left me. He was one of my only friends after it came out that I was pregnant.” I laugh. “And even down to the night I needed a ride to the hospital and Dean couldn’t be bothered, he still picked up on the second ring and made sure I made it to the hospital.”
I did not see today going like this. I need to distract myself before I pity myself into a fun little depression episode I can’t afford to go into right now. Not so close to Asher deploying. Atlas needs me to be strong for her and Aria.
I swing my arms back, pushing off of the counter. I need to find something to keep my mind busy. Harley stays where he’s at, his eyes never leaving me while I make work for myself so I can sit in my thoughts.