CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE EMBER
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
EMBER
Laying on Harley’s chest, I snuggle in close as he pulls a throw blanket over us.
“I used to think it was so fake, ya know?” I tell him, staring at the wall, his hand rubbing circles on my back.
“What was fake?” he asks me.
“In the movies, the girl wanting to have sex, or to be intimate,” I tell him, before pulling back and looking at him.
“I used to wonder how someone could be intimate so soon after something awful happened to them. But I understand it now.” I lean forward and kiss him gently on the lips.
“Thank you for making me forget, even for a minute.”
Harley gives me a pitiful smile, and I know it’s not out of pity, it’s just something we have to work through.
“Let’s take a quick shower and veg on the couch,” he says, rising from the couch, carrying me with him.
“I love you, Harley Blackwood,” I say, and he kisses me.
I feel him harden beneath me. I have my third orgasm after Harley fucks me hard against the shower wall.
He makes all my previous sexual encounters seem so vanilla.
All the cliche “hot” sex I see on TV that used to make me roll my eyes; he brings that to life for me.
I’m insatiable when it comes to him, and I can tell that I’m not just a quick fuck for him.
I see the need and want for me in his eyes.
After my third orgasm, I am officially wiped out.
After a quick body wash, I hop out of the shower and throw some leggings on.
I’m standing there in my leggings and no top, searching for a sports bra, when Harley gets out of the shower and begins drying his hair off with the towel, then wraps it around his waist, tucking it in.
I hear a whistle, and I crack a smile and look over my shoulder at him.
“I know we were going to veg, but I want to check on Rawley,” I tell him. Ever since Dean mentioned him attempting to pick him up on the road, my mind has wandered back to him. I don’t even really know what to say, but I need to see that he’s okay.
“Maybe we should wait until the bruises are healed a little more?” Harley offers.
Shit. I didn’t even think of that.
“I can use my heavy-duty concealer,” I tell him. “I need to lay eyes on him.” After I’ve thrown on a tank top and zip-up sweatshirt, I head into the bathroom. When I look up from washing my face, Harley stands behind me and rests his hands on my hips.
“You’re so beautiful, Ember.” He kisses my head and walks out.
My face is still tender, so I lightly apply my moisturizer and primer. Then I get to work trying to conceal the damage. After half an hour, I emerge from the bedroom. “How is this? Everything covered?” I ask Harley.
“You look perfect, and you can’t see any discoloration,” he says with a small smile.
“I’m going to shoot Charlee a text, just to be sure it’s okay if we stop by.” I plop down next to him.
Is it okay if I stop by, just to lay eyes on Rawley?
CHARLEE
Ember! Are you okay???
I’m okay. Sore, but I covered everything to make sure I don’t scare him.
CHARLEE
Don’t even sweat it, babe. Come on over.
We’ll head over shortly. Thank you, Charlee.
I never would have imagined my biological child’s adopted mother would become someone I consider a friend. Someone who cares about me. My eyes sting, and we sit there, watching Kitchen Nightmares, just being.
Finally, I wipe my eyes. “Charlee said we’re good to go.” I pat Harley’s arm and stand up, heading to the closet beside the front door.
“I want to make one stop first, if that’s okay?” Harley says, following me to the door and zipping up my jacket for me. I cock my head at him, wondering where he’d need to stop, and he just meets me with a smile and a forehead kiss before leading me out the door.
We end up stopping at Best Buy, and Harley picks up the game that Rawley had mentioned the first time I met him.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I lean my head into his shoulder, holding his hand.
“Of course, princess,” he says and as we move up to the checkout.
We load back into the car, and I take the bag from Harley.
I stare at the game in my hands. “This feels like an alternate universe. Like I never gave him up, and we’re his loving parents, taking him something he’s been working hard for.
” I smile to myself and Harley reaches over, placing his hand over my thigh and heading towards Charlee and Rawley’s house.
When we pull into the driveway, I feel overwhelmed with emotion.
I start hyperventilating, and Harley rubs my shoulders.
“Deep breaths, baby. Deep breaths.” He alternates between rubbing my shoulders and holding his hand over my heart, trying to ground me.
I start to settle, but Harley asks if I need to do the 5-4-3-2-1 trick.
“I’m okay. I’m okay.” I grip his hand, the one still pressed to my chest, tightly.
“You don’t have to tell him anything, babe. We can be the cool “adopted” Aunt and Uncle, bringing him shit he wants without his parents permission.” Harley attempts to soothe me. I laugh at the irony, and squeeze his hand.
We climb out of the car and make our way to the door. Before I can knock, Charlee opens the door and gives me a big smile, her eyes sad. We follow her into the living room. As we walk down the hallway, I take in the photos lining the walls.
At the entrance of the hallway, I see photos of Rawley as a baby, starting from the day they brought him home from the hospital. My heart explodes, and I cover my mouth, emotion overcoming me. Harley and Charlee make it to the living room, leaving me by myself.
I take my time walking the hall. Watching my baby grow up. Birthday parties, loose teeth, baseball, Halloween, Christmas, bath times, school pictures. His smile is so profound in every photo. He’s so happy and full of life. He’s had a beautiful life.
In this moment, any bit of regret or questioning if I had done the right thing over the years is silenced, and I let it rest. I made the right decision.
I stop at one photo along the way. He’s a spitting image of me at his age.
He’s probably seven, maybe eight, and his hair is wild with strawberry blonde curls.
His porcelain complexion and blue eyes are an undeniable marker of me.
He’ll never put two and two together, but it makes my heart swell, knowing that I made this sweet boy, and at one point, you would have been able to tell without a doubt.
I finally make my way into the living room, dabbing my eyes with my sleeve. “Sorry, I didn’t think about the emotions of it all,” I say, waving my arms around like a nitwit.
“Hey,” Charlee says as she reaches out to me, “I am forever thankful for you, because I could have never done it. So cry all you need. I just hope they’re tears of happiness, ya know?” she says. “That your decision wasn’t a bad thing.”
I pull her into a hug. “I’ve never been more sure.
I am so happy that I did what I did. You gave him a life I could have never given him.
” We stand there and cry before I finally pull back.
“Shit, I need to check my makeup and be sure nothing smeared so he can’t see anything. I don’t want to scare him.”
“Ember, really, you won’t scare him,” she says. “He’ll just be a nosy kid and ask later if he sees anything he doesn’t understand.”
I give her a tight smile.
“So, we brought this game for Rawley,” Harley says, finally breaking the little bubble of emotion Charlee and I had drifted into. “If it’s cool that we’re the cool aunt and uncle?” he asks, question laced in his tone.
“I like that idea,” Charlee says with a smile painted on her lips.
Rawley comes down the stairs. He halts apprehensively when he sees me blotting my eyes again.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, his eyebrows pulled together with concern.
“Oh yeah! Your mom just told me a funny joke, and I laughed so hard I cried,” I tell him, throwing an elbow at Charlee.
“Well, that has to be a lie, because my mom is not funny.” He laughs and looks over at Charlee.
“Boy, you better shut your pie hole or I’ll put you on dishes duty.” She goes over to him and punches him in the arm playfully.
He immediately throws his hands up, surrendering his playful insult.
“No, actually we were at Best Buy and Harley saw the game you wanted was on sale, so he picked it up, and we wanted to bring it to you.”
His eyes light up, joy beaming across his face. “No freaking way! Oh my god! This is so dope!” I hand him the game and smile.
“Of course, it was no big deal,” I respond, meeting his smile.
Before I can process what is happening, he gives me a quick, strong hug.
My body still aches, but I embrace it. I look over at Charlee, who has tears in her eyes and is biting down on her top lip, willing the tears not to flow over.
She nods her head, giving me the okay to hug him back.
And I do. I wrap my arms around the boy I gave away for a better life.
When he lets go, he turns quickly to race upstairs to play his new game.
“Thank you,” Charlee says to both of us. “I don’t know how I want to navigate this, Ember, but I know I’m not ready to tell him about you yet.”
She won’t meet my eyes when she says this, and I walk over to her.
“Hey, no. That’s not why I came over. I just physically needed to see him.
When Dean said he tried to grab him…” My voice trails off, starting to crack.
“I just needed to see he was okay with my own eyes.” I give her a hard smile, willing her to see I don’t want anything from her.
“About that…” Charlee begins. “I don’t really know if we will or not, but Theo wasn’t very happy about Dean coming after Rawley, and he mentioned the possibility of moving.”
I glance over at Harley, silently asking him if I can tell her. He holds my eyes and gives me a nod. “That won’t ever happen again, Charlee.”
She meets my eyes. “You can’t know that…” She begins, before I cut her off.