Chapter 27
Morgan
As if she could still feel Danielle there, Morgan absently touched her fingers to her lips. She struggled to focus on her breath, to calm herself from all the thoughts racing through her head.
She’d kissed Danielle.
Again.
And while Danielle had pulled away again, this time felt different. Danielle had seemed to be as into it as she was, and Morgan wasn’t sure what to do with that. The kiss had been impulsive. Reckless. There was no point in it, because there was no relationship to be had.
Right?
She wasn’t sure what was real anymore. Wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore.
She only knew what that moment had felt like.
And now it felt like pure terror. Because nothing about them or their lives had changed.
Morgan turned to walk back to the party. She wasn’t in the mood to hang out there alone now that Danielle was gone, but she wanted to at least tell her sister goodbye before she left.
When she turned the corner of the house, she found her mother standing there. Arms crossed. In full view of where Morgan and Danielle had just been standing.
“Mom.”
It was supposed to be a recognition in passing, but her mother apparently wasn’t going to let this pass between them.
“I didn’t realize you were bringing a date.”
“I brought a friend,” Morgan said.
That much had been true. Until a few minutes ago.
Longer than that, if she was being honest with herself.
But still. That had been her intention, and not entirely a lie. She found it easier to lie to her mother if there was at least a half-truth involved.
Her mother’s brow lifted.
“Well then,” she said in a low tone. “I didn’t realize you were bringing a friend. I would have liked to meet her.”
Morgan let out a bark of a laugh. The last thing she wanted was to subject Danielle to meeting her mother.
“Well, you just missed her. She had to go home to her kid.”
“A child? Morgan, really,” she said with an exasperated sigh.
“What difference does it make to you if my friend has a child? Or does her caring enough to get home to see her kid make you feel guilty about your own crappy parenting?”
Maybe that had been a bit much. But it was too late to take it back.
Her mother’s jaw set firmly as her gaze bore into Morgan’s soul.
It didn’t matter. Morgan had given up trying to avoid that look long ago. Being on the wrong end of it was par for the politician’s daughter’s course.
Not a word came from her mother’s lips, so Morgan took the opportunity to end the conversation.
“You know what? I’m feeling tired. Give Felicia my love and tell her I’ll see her tomorrow.”
With that, Morgan turned and headed back to the parking lot, feeling her mother’s gaze burning through the back of her sleeveless top. But her mother didn’t say anything else.
Morgan took that as a win and slipped into her car, pausing only to send a quick text before she headed toward the road.
“So let me get this straight.”
Jen stood in the middle of the kitchen while Morgan grabbed them each a nutty lager from the fridge. Morgan had asked to go over on her way out of the rehearsal dinner, but Jen had said she’d meet her at her apartment since it was in between. Besides, she wanted to see Reginald.
“Dang it!” Morgan flinched as a set of teeth nipped at her calf through her thin pants. She grabbed the treat bag from the cabinet and tossed a couple down at the fluffy, demanding beast. “Fine. We get beer, you get your own treat. Sorry I forgot about you.”
Although it was hard to forget about him. He made sure of that.
Reginald gobbled his treats and hobbled out of the kitchen as Morgan handed the beer to Jen. They clinked bottles like they always did. Celebration or not.
“So you kissed her again,” Jen said. “And she kissed you back this time.”
“Yes.”
“And this is bad because…”
“Because I don’t know why I did it. It’s a terrible idea.”
Jen leaned her back against the counter. “Walk me through this terrible idea.”
“Well, for one, she’s a pumpkin.”
“Uh, what?”
“She has like… a bedtime. Or her kid’s bedtime, really.” Morgan took a sip of her beer, trying to slow down her mouth and let her brain catch up. “I don’t know if I could be with someone who could never stay out past nine. Or make an ice cream run after dinner without running it by someone first.”
“You want ice cream?”
“No,” Morgan said. “Ice cream isn’t the point.”
“But the kid is.”
“Right.”
“But I thought you said the kid was chill.” Jen tilted her head slightly. “Didn’t you say you liked helping her with her homework? I mean, that right there says a lot.”
“Yeah, she’s fine. Great kid. But she’s always going to be Danielle’s kid.”
“That’s kind of how being a parent works.” Jen shrugged. “Most of the time. Sorry.”
Jen knew all about Morgan’s mom and her less than stellar parenting history. She knew how much of a sore spot it was, even if Morgan frequently brushed it off as the past.
“Oh, that’s another story,” Morgan said.
“Same story?”
“Pretty much.” Morgan took another sip, this time trying to wash away that conversation with beer. “Dating a parent is the bigger problem here.”
It was the bigger problem, but not entirely a separate problem.
Her mother had reminded her of how much damage a terrible mother could do.
While they weren’t at that stage now, she had to look down the road.
She had to consider not having good parent potential and how that could affect Lila down the line.
And she had to admit that she wouldn’t be the kind of parent Lila needed.
“So you’re afraid the kid is going to what?” Jen asked. “Get in the way somehow?”
“That sounds terrible.”
“No offense, but it kind of is.”
Morgan sighed, the weight of the evening leaving her body. “That’s not what I meant. Not really.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“I just mean I’m not exactly parent-dating material.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I’m a mess,” Morgan said. “Neither of them needs a mess in their lives.”
“You’re not a mess.” Jen laughed. “You’re a mess right now, but I don’t think this is the kind of mess that would screw up someone’s kid.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know that you’re not your mom.” Jen waited for that to sink in. “I know she got to you tonight, but you aren’t her. You could never be her.”
Morgan’s voice caught in her throat before she could loosen it again. “You don’t know that either.”
“I know that’s what you’re really scared of. And I know your brain is doing its zoomie thing and not letting you stop and think.”
She was right, of course. It was the reason Morgan had texted her. She needed someone to tell her what she was really afraid of.
“So how do I get rid of that fear?”
Jen laughed. “You don’t.”
“Well that sucks. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Jen took a sip of beer while she narrowed her eyes at Morgan, clearly thinking of her next deep thought.
“What is it? How else are you going to mentally slap me to my senses?”
“You have one choice, the way I see it.”
“What’s that?”
“You either have to face your fear and jump in, or you have to stop kissing this woman.”
Morgan’s stomach sank. She wasn’t sure this conversation could hurt any more than it did already.
But Jen was right. Again. That was the choice.
She just didn’t want to make it.