Chapter 36
Danielle
“Ididn’t know you smoked,” Danielle said.
She’d never seen Morgan smoke before, but maybe she knew even less about her than she thought. They’d only met just a few weeks ago. Still, that seemed like more than enough time to know if someone was a smoker.
“I don’t,” Morgan said, showing her to a spot around the side of the building. “Jen and I call our breaks that.”
Danielle felt something that felt a lot like relief. Not because Morgan didn’t smoke. Although if she was being honest, she was glad for that, too. Mostly, she was relieved she hadn’t missed noticing something so big.
“Well, then. Thanks for taking your smoke break with me.”
“Sure,” Morgan said. Her words were very slow and soft. Deliberate. Very un-Morgan-like. “I’m just a little confused about why you’re here.”
Dark circles rested beneath Morgan’s eyes, giving away that she hadn’t gotten any more sleep than Danielle had the night before. Her deep brown eyes above those circles held a swirl of sadness and confusion. Danielle’s heart broke knowing she’d caused that pain.
“Well, I wanted to apologize for being so short with you yesterday.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “And for freaking out. I do that sometimes.”
“Do you?” Morgan laughed softly. “I haven’t seen you freak out about anything. Except maybe about me paying for that dress.”
“Oh, I freak out about other stuff. Mostly Lila-related. As you found out.”
“I get it.” It was Morgan’s turn to take a deep breath. She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again to look down at Danielle. “I pushed too hard for something you aren’t able to do.”
The pain in her voice tore Danielle apart. Pain she’d caused with her own fear.
“I thought that too,” she said. “But I was wrong.”
Morgan’s brow furrowed. “Wrong about what?”
Danielle moved aside for a heavily tattooed man to pass beside her on the walkway around the building.
“Wrong about thinking I couldn’t have a relationship,” she said. “I had a talk with Gerri. She made me realize some things.”
“What kind of things?” There was curiosity in those words, but also a hint of hope. Guarded hope.
Danielle had earned the guarded part.
“I don’t want to bore you with the details…”
“Bore me,” Morgan said.
“Okay. So the big thing she reminded me of was that I’m not alone.”
A small smile crept onto Morgan’s face. “You needed your friend to tell you that?”
“Apparently,” she said, returning the smile. “It was just me and Lila for a long time before we moved here. It’s hard to remember we aren’t back then anymore.”
“I’m glad you have your people now,” Morgan said. “I don’t know what I’d do without Jen, and I don’t even have a kid to take care of. It’s just me and Reginald.”
Danielle chuckled softly. “I hear he’s a handful, though.”
“Kind of,” Morgan agreed with her own laugh.
Danielle shifted on her heels. This part she was still letting sink in. But maybe saying it out loud would help.
“So the other thing we talked about was how I’m afraid Lila doesn’t need me anymore. It’s not that she needs me but that I need her.”
Morgan’s brow furrowed again. “But she still does need you. She always will. You’re her mom.”
“Yeah, but I’m gripping too hard,” Danielle said. “She doesn’t need me as much as she used to, and I’m still adjusting to that. It’s kind of embarrassing to be that mom, but here I am.”
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed about caring for and worrying about your kid. I think that kind of comes with the territory. From what I’ve heard, at least.”
“You’re right,” Danielle said. “But I still need to apologize for pushing you away. That’s not what I wanted to do at all.”
Morgan’s dark eyes seemed to turn a shade deeper as she sheepishly said, “So you want to stay friends, then? Because I’m okay with forgetting about Saturday night and going back to the way things were if that’s what you want.”
That was the last thing Danielle wanted. But suddenly she wondered if that’s what Morgan wanted. Her heart ached as that possibility sank in.
“I don’t want to forget about Saturday night,” Danielle said, unguarding her heart. “At least not the part where we were together.”
“Just the pumpkin part?” Morgan smiled, light returning to her eyes.
“Just the pumpkin part,” Danielle confirmed.
“So that sandwich was an apology brunch?”
“The specialest kind of brunch.” Danielle laughed. “And yes, I’m an English teacher and know that’s not how it goes, but I stand by what I said.”
Morgan laughed too. “I really didn’t eat yet, and I appreciate the gesture, so thanks for the special sandwich.”
Danielle bit her lip, hope dancing in her throat as she looked into those pretty brown eyes again. “And I was hoping we could maybe take a rain check on that real brunch?”
Morgan’s face lit up at the suggestion. “Brunch, lunch, dinner, snack… I don’t care what it is. I’m there. Just say when.”
“Maybe this weekend? If you don’t mind Lila’s crutches in the way.”
“I’d be honored to spend time with both Lila and her crutches.” Morgan grabbed Danielle’s hand and pulled her in closer. “And with you.”
She slipped a hand behind Danielle’s head and leaned downward to kiss her, right between the shop window and the parking lot for the universe to see. Danielle wasn’t a big PDA person, but she would never again turn down a chance to kiss Morgan.
Danielle leaned in to the softness of Morgan’s lips and felt her whole body melting away beneath her. Still, she pulled her head back and looked up into Morgan’s eyes once again.
“I’m pretty sure your smoke break is over.”
A smile tugged at the corners of Morgan’s mouth. “Probably.”
“Then I should let you get back to work,” Danielle said. “Tell Jen hi from me, and I hope to properly meet her one day.”
“Will do,” Morgan said, squeezing her hand. “Text me? We’ll figure out a time for this weekend.”
Danielle squeezed her hand back, the weight of the weekend lifting as she left Morgan. But not for long, if she could help it.