29. Clint
The first couple of weeks of school were always bedlam. I thought having Dee here might make scheduling more difficult, but she was back with her friends and happy to hang out with them as much as possible. She was also happy to wear the monitoring shirts from Brodie, once she and Aubrey made them cuter. Having Aubrey and Brodie around, just in general, made things feel better too.
That didn’t mean I was prepared when the first of Dee’s specialist appointments came up. She wanted Aubrey to come with us. I wasn’t surprised, but I was grateful, when Aubrey accepted without hesitation.
The nurse asked us a series of questions that were identical to the ones taken online, checked Dee’s vitals, and then told us the doctor would be in soon.
Dee was a model patient the entire time, and turned her attention to her sketchbook the moment the nurse left. The book itself was simple enough—light gray canvas wrapping unlined pages. I’d rarely seen her without it after Brodie gave it to her on the second day of school, and she’d already decorated the cover with an assortment of flowers, diagrams, and flame throwers.
I didn’t realize my knee was bouncing until Aubrey rested her palm on my leg and gave me a light squeeze. I covered her hand, and she flipped it over to tangle her fingers with mine. I couldn’t have done this without her, for so many reasons.
The doctor didn’t keep us waiting long, and when she walked in she gave Dee her attention first. “I’m Dr. Turner. Are you Dee?”
Dee sat up straighter on the edge of the examination bed. “Yes.”
“Who do we have with you? Mom and Dad?”
Dee glanced at Aubrey and me. “Dad and Weekend Mom.”
I still hadn’t figured out how to have the Dad’s in love with two people conversation with her. The only reason I felt like I could put it off was because Dee seemed perfectly comfortable telling anyone and everyone that Aubrey was my girlfriend and Brodie was my boyfriend. I’d need to talk to her about it anyway. When this was over.
Instead, I was preparing an explanation in my head for the doctor about what Weekend Mom meant.
Dr. Turner didn’t so much as flinch at the phrase, though. Instead, she focused on the silver disc Dee had attached to a bracelet. The metal rested against the inside of her wrist. “What’s this?”
Dee held it up, showing it off. “It monitors me, so I don’t get sick again.”
It had been Aubrey’s solution to Dee wearing the transmitter that went with her clothes. Evie made us a handful of gold and silver chains with wires hidden inside, to attach the disk to the conductor on the long sleeves of the shirts. Dee also had a necklace version for the shorter sleeve tops.
“Really.” The doctor sounded skeptical. “How does it work?”
Dee lifted the hem of her T-shirt to expose the bio-monitoring fabric underneath. “This carries pulses from my body and feeds them to an app.” That was as reasonable an explanation as anything. “Dad, can I show her?”
I handed Dee her phone. There was no reason for me to talk on her behalf unless something needed clarification, and so far I liked that the doctor was talking to the patient and not me.
Dee showed the doctor the monitoring history in her app, and Dr. Turner looked impressed. “I’ve heard of this, but I didn’t realize there was a version for the civilian market.”
“My dad knows the man who invented it.” Dee sounded proud. “And they made one just for me.”
Now the doctor was looking at me.
I shrugged, like this was no big deal. “It’s true. This is the same technology but refined.” I was pushing Brodie to do more with it, but he was hesitating. I’d even promised to talk to anyone he wanted, on his behalf, if he would share this with the world.
I was pretty sure I was wearing him down.
Dr. Turner spent the next several minutes scrolling through the history of Dee’s vitals for the last few weeks, as well as doing a light physical exam. The entire time she talked to Dee. Asking her questions about school, her hobbies, her mom… And interacting with Dee like she was a person rather than a pet or an idiot.
The interaction alleviated some of my concern, but it wasn’t enough to obliterate the voice reminding me my daughter had a heart problem, and it was unlikely this would tell us how serious it was. She still had months of tests ahead of her.
Dr. Turner moved to the stool in front of a computer at the edge of the room and made several notes. When she was done, she grabbed a stack of fresh printouts from the printer and handed the top one to Dee. “Why don’t you and Aubrey go out to the front desk, and give them this, Dee. They’ll fill your prescription while I talk to your dad about referrals.”
Dee scowled at the page. “Is it medicine? Is it cherry flavored?”
“It’s toys,” Dr. Turner said in a stage whisper. “You get to pick one.”
Dee grinned, grabbed her notebook and Aubrey’s hand, and headed out of the room.
My gut twisted in knots.
Dr. Turner looked at me when the door was closed. “This is always the hard part.”
That did not make me feel better.
“There’s a balance between getting people’s hopes up by not telling them enough, or worrying them when I don’t need to, by telling them too much.”
I couldn’t do this. “Tell me what you need to. I’ll deal with it.”
She handed me the remaining pages she’d printed. “These are the referrals I have for you, based on her history and what we discussed today. You already have several scheduled, but I recommend starting here.” She pointed to a name at the top of the page. Next to the name it said PhD, specializing in children’s psychology.
“What is this?” I had an inkling, but because it wasn’t an option on my mental what could be wrong with Dee list, I had a hard time wrapping my brain around it.
Dr Turner frowned.
The pieces were slotting better in my mind. “I’m not going to freak out about my kid seeing a therapist, if that’s why you’re hesitating. I’m not that dad.”
She seemed to relax. “The good news is, I don’t see anything wrong with Dee’s heart. That doesn’t mean there’s nothing there. She should still have some more tests, and your insurance will cover them.”
Thank you, Aubrey.
“From talking to her,” Dr Turner continued, “and looking at her vitals over the past few weeks, I think she’d benefit from talking to someone with more experience up here.” She tapped the side of her head. “Especially if there’s stress at home.”
Dee was happy, but it was easy to see she was still bothered by Regina leaving her. “There is.”
“I’m glad you see that. Keep monitoring her, and we’ll see her back here for her follow-up.”
I felt lighter as I thanked her and went in search of Dee and Aubrey. This wasn’t a solution, but it felt like a good direction.
I headed into the waiting room to find Dee playing with a plastic ball stapled to a string that was attached to a flimsy cup. She would flick her wrist, the ball would fly in the air, and not get anywhere near landing in the cup.
“Can I go through your scraps and decorate it?” Dee was asking Aubrey.
“Of course.” Aubrey met my gaze with a questioning look.
Dee looked up to. “Am I okay, Dad?”
“You’re wonderful.” I’d explain to each of them separately. I wanted Dee to have the choice about how much she told who when it came to therapy.
“Brodie is in Salt Lake, not too far from here,” Aubrey said. “He still won’t tell me why, but he wants to know if we’re free for lunch.”
He’d been working on something Top Secret since school started, and clammed up any time we asked him about it. Maybe we could prod for more information today.
“Can we, Dad?” Dee gave me pleading eyes. “I want pancakes with fruit faces.”
Aubrey had taken the whole day off, and Dee and I were skipping school to be here, so we had time. “I don’t see why not.” I was happy to see Dee happy.
As the three of us strolled out to the parking lot, Dee yanked on my arm. “Dad, I need to talk to you.”
“I’ll meet you at the car.” Aubrey waved and walked away. She’d driven because her car was better suited for three people, given the hour and a half trek each way.
I crouched to bring myself to eye-level with Dee. “What’s up?”
“Is it okay if I’m having a good day?”
The question tugged at my heart. “Of course it’s okay. Is there something that should make it bad?”
“I miss Mom. I miss not going to the old house, even though she was always busy.”
“That’s okay too. You’re allowed to miss Mom and have a good day at the same time.”
“Am I allowed to have fruit-face pancakes and sleep over at my friend’s house tonight?”
Had I just been manipulated? I didn’t think so. Her good day question sounded genuine. “My answer is yes to both, but we have to check with your friend’s mom, and she has to say yes too.”
Dee grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the parking lot again. “Okay. Let’s go get pancakes.”
We piled into Aubrey’s car, and met Brodie at a nearby House of Waffles Barn, where we ordered breakfast for lunch.
Before our food arrived, Brodie discussed the physics of Dee’s new ball-in-cup toy with her. He gave the ball more weight using the paper sleeves from our silverware, and helped Dee make other mechanical modifications.
I made them put the toy away while we ate, and Brodie pouted as hard as Dee did. When lunch was over, on our way out, Brodie grabbed Aubrey’s keys and handed them to me. “I need to borrow this brilliant mind for the afternoon,” he said.
“Ooh.” Aubrey’s face lit up. “Do I get to find out what the surprise is?”
Brodie nodded. “Yes.” Before I could protest or ask why her not me, he added, “And we’ll tell you tonight.”
“You’d better.” I should just send them on their way, but it had been too good a morning to pretend I didn’t want goodbye kisses. It wasn’t as if it was a secret, and I needed to have this conversation with Dee anyway. I grasped Aubrey’s fingers to tug her close, and brush my lips over hers. Then I did the same with Brodie. “See you tonight,” I said.
Dee huffed and yanked my free arm. “Dad, come on.”
I shook my head, and Aubrey and Brodie headed toward his rental car.
Dee was silent until we got on the freeway. “Dad, why did you kiss them both?”
I hated that I’d hidden my marriage to Aubrey, and that I’d chickened out on having this conversation sooner. But with the question out there, straightforward and clear as day, my answer was easy. “Because I love them both.”
“Oh. Like with Sawyer and Evie and Gage?”
“Exactly like that.” Maybe not exactly. Even when Brodie was being intentionally obtuse, he didn’t rankle me the way Sawyer did Gage.
Dee shrugged and pulled out her sketchbook. “Okay.”
“You didn’t have any more questions?” I was surprised.
“No.” She had her pencil in hand, but tapped a blank page with the eraser instead of drawing.
We drove in silence for a while.
“Are Bree and B going to come live with us?” Dee asked abruptly.
I wanted that so badly. Seeing them go back to her place, not being part of that, gnawed at me. “I don’t know yet. I have to talk to them about that.”
“You should tell them I want them to,” Dee said.
That would make a lot of things easier. Not telling them, but my knowing that Dee was okay with it. “I’ll do that.”
She turned her attention to a new drawing, and I drove.
This was so far from the life I pictured when I was younger. When I was with Brodie in high school and thought he was the only person I’d ever love. When I married Regina. When we had Dee. Those paths—find a single person, live a nine-to-five life, and call it a fairytale ending—were the ones I’d always thought I should pursue.
But this was so much better. It made me happy. It felt right. Loving Aubrey and Brodie. Having a smart, creative kid. It was all so weirdly perfect.
The longer I drove, the more I was excited to see them both tonight. To talk about our next steps. To let the past be what it was, and build a new future together. All of us.
I couldn’t have asked for anything more incredible.