Chapter 15 Lee
FIFTEEN
LEE
“Why does the last leg of the trip home always seem so damn long?” Silas asked on a yawn.
The entire trip had seemed long as hell to me. Six flights in ten days, ending with a ride on a luxury bus from Boston to Brooklyn. My stomach was turning from all the jerky starts and stops for the past two hours, and I wanted off this bus and in my own bed.
Besides the constant travel, it had been a busy trip for the entire team. Stats-wise, we’d only lost one game and were returning home tied for first place, although it was too early in the season to get excited about it.
In the last game alone, we had two tweaked ankles and one pitcher with the beginnings of tendonitis, along with the regular adjustments I’d give to the guys if they felt any pain anywhere before the game.
It had been a blessing to be too busy to think about what was waiting for me at home—or who. Still, I was beat and ready to get off the bus.
“Are we there yet?” Nate whined behind us, leaning his elbow against Silas’s headrest as he stood. “What the hell is taking so long?”
“Hot date?” Chris asked next to him.
“I’m sure she’ll wait for you,” Silas said, craning his neck to get a better look at the traffic.
“I’m surprised you’re not more agitated, Coach. I’m sure the wife missed you.”
“I missed her too. But I can’t control this. Trust me, I’m ready for two days off with just her and not seeing any of you again until practice on Saturday. No offense.”
“Ouch,” Nate said, pressing a dramatic hand to his chest. “I’m sure Lee is ready to get off this bus and see his girl.”
I rolled my head at Nate’s smirk. He was one of the few players on this trip who hadn’t needed much treatment. His arm had seemed free of any strain and his stats had been even better than before his injury so far this season.
A year of rehab had taught him a little patience, at least while he was in uniform. He’d stopped swinging for the fences at every pitch and striking out more than making contact, the usual cockiness he strode to the plate with taken down a notch.
His mouth was another story.
“Yes, I’ll be happy to see my daughter once I’m home.”
I clenched my eyes shut, willing myself not to turn toward Nate’s snicker.
Stella wasn’t my girl, but excitement stirred in my gut over seeing her too, despite my best efforts to ignore it.
We texted throughout the days, and I’d call her after the game when it wasn’t too late.
Just like when we were teenagers, Stella and I could talk about everything and nothing for hours.
Even though I was never really alone, either at work or at home, the bone-deep loneliness was constant.
Having Stella back in my life and talking to her all the time had eased a lot of that, but that wasn’t why I’d pull up the photos she sent of both of them whenever I had a free moment and no one was watching me.
My daughter regarded Stella in each photo with a beaming admiration that worried me.
We had Stella for only months, not forever.
I’d be home in place of her when the season was over.
Stella would still be in my life enough for Bennie to maintain a relationship with her, but it would be different enough for her to miss Stella when this was all over.
For me to miss Stella when this was all over.
Nate backed off, and when I opened my eyes again, the bus was traveling at a steady, if still slow, pace without any abrupt stops.
I reached into my pocket to grab my buzzing phone.
Stella
I’m guessing you’re still stuck in traffic.
Lee
Yep, but we just started to go more than ten miles an hour, so hopefully it shouldn’t be long.
Stella
Let me know when you’re a half hour out. We’ll pick you up.
Lee
Silas’s car is at the stadium, and he usually gives me a ride. You don’t have to worry about that.
Stella
What kind of welcome home would that be? Bennie insisted I make my macaroni and cheese when you came home, because after a long trip, you’d need a big, fancy dinner.
Lee
She’s always so helpful. I missed that little sneak.
Stella
That she is. But she’s very excited to have you home. And I’m excited to show you how I kept everything together while you were gone. Other than the scaring her teacher thing. As new nannies go, I think I mostly killed it.
Lee
I’m sure you did. I’m going to have to figure out how to keep up with you.
Because you can’t stay. Despite how good it already feels to have you waiting for me with my daughter.
Stella
I’m sure you can learn. I mean, you may not be as good as me, but I’ll make sure to teach you enough to get by.
“What are you smiling at, Doc?” Adrian asked me from across the aisle. “Is it the pretty babysitter?”
“I was checking in on my daughter,” I told him, avoiding the question.
I was sure the guys would have a field day seeing the pretty babysitter waiting for me, and I had to work on hiding how happy I already was to see her.
For the first time in hours, I welcomed the traffic.
“All right, guys,” Silas said after the bus finally pulled up in front of Wayne Field. “Get some rest, and I’ll see you back here on Saturday.”
The team mumbled their goodbyes as they stepped off the bus. I stayed behind, pulling my bag from the overhead compartment and checking to make sure I had everything, slow enough that most of the guys would be gone by the time I got off.
Nate passed me, a small smile curving his lips as he looked back at us over his shoulder.
“Your girls are waiting for you, Doc. Better get moving.”
“They came to get you? I would have given you a ride,” Silas said, lifting the handle on his suitcase.
“Stella said they wanted to welcome me home.”
His brow creased as he hoisted one bag over his shoulder.
“So why do you look like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re dreading getting off this bus?” He winged a brow.
“Because I don’t want to get used to it,” I admitted.
“Would that be so bad?”
I groaned when the corner of his mouth twitched.
“Yes, and I’m too tired to explain why.”
Silas chuckled and shook his head at me.
“What now?”
“You know it’s okay to look forward to something, right? Or someone. Give yourself a break once in a while.”
“Right,” I said, spotting Nate crouching in front of Bennie out the window. Stella stood behind them, laughing at whatever Nate said. Her gaze drifted back and forth between him and the bus looking for me, I guessed.
She was even stunning in a T-shirt and jeans, an easy kind of beautiful that had me captivated enough to stop and stare. I could sense the comfort between her and Bennie by how my daughter would turn her head while she talked to Nate, as if she wanted to make sure Stella was still there.
Again, after all these years of knowing Stella, I couldn’t understand what was stirring in me. I both wanted to run to her and hide, and neither was an option.
And whatever I did, I had to do it in front of Nate, who knew I was full of shit when I insisted what Stella was and what she wasn’t.
Or what she couldn’t be.
I padded down the stairs, praying for enough of a goddamn grip to go see my daughter.
“Think you can leave Nate long enough to give me a hug?” I set my bags down and stretched out my arms.
“Daddy!” Bennie charged toward me, jumping into my arms. “I missed you so much,” she whispered in my ear, a joyful peace washing over me enough to calm my racing pulse as she squeezed her arms around my neck.
“Nate said you won almost every game and his shoulder hurt was okay! I didn’t get to see a lot of games because Stella said I had to go to bed.”
I laughed at the cute little crinkle in her forehead.
“That’s because Stella is firm but fair,” I said, finding Stella’s gaze. Her lips were a bright plum color instead of red, and that amped up my fixation on her mouth. Fuck me. “Thank you for picking me up.”
“Of course. Like I said, what kind of welcome home would it be if we didn’t?” Stella said as she eased closer to us, rubbing Bennie’s back as she held my gaze. “She was a very good girl while you were away. She even made something for you.”
“It’s a sign.” Bennie lifted her head from my shoulder. “I was going to bring it here, but Stella said it was better to hang it up at home so you can look at it for longer.”
“Wow, really? That’s a great welcome home.” I kissed Bennie’s cheek as she giggled.
“I thought so. Stella even helped me color it in. She’s the best.”
“I can see that,” I said, my gaze snagging on Stella. “I’m surprised you even missed me at all.”
“Of course I missed you,” Bennie said, a deep frown pulling on her lips when I set her down.
Stella’s smile deepened when she met my eyes over Bennie’s shoulder.
“I’m not her daddy, even though I am pretty awesome.” She shrugged.
Yes, you are, I wanted to say. Awesome and gorgeous and I don’t know what the hell to do about that.
I only knew what I wanted to do, and that couldn’t happen.
“It’s good to be home,” was all I said.
It was great to be home. And dangerous. But I’d try to take Silas’s advice and enjoy Stella’s company—as long as I didn’t try to enjoy anything else.
“You guys have a good night welcoming the big guy home,” Nate said, slapping me on the back with a wry grin plastered to his face. “See you guys on Tuesday.”
“Tuesday?” I asked Nate.
“The game doesn’t start until seven thirty, so I told Stella I’d pick Bennie up with her at school. In case anyone else tries to say we aren’t friends.”
“Yeah! You’re the best too, Nate,” Bennie said, reaching her arms up.
Nate scooped Bennie off the sidewalk as she laughed.
“I’m sure management won’t mind if I sneak out for an hour, right?”
Stella shrugged when I found her gaze, and a chuckle escaped me.
“No. That’s nice of you to do that.”
I’d go with them in case Stella wasn’t ready for the chaos he’d cause at school.
“You can come over for dinner. Stella made a lot of macaroni and cheese.”