Chapter 24 #2
It was hot, but most likely unhealthy. This wasn’t a new kink I’d discovered, but another way to seek validation, a quest I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to satisfy.
“Look at you,” Lee whispered, his eyes still feral as they narrowed to slits.
“That was so fucking hot. I think you may kill me,” he said, dropping his head to my shoulder.
“So you know, I usually have a lot better control.” He lifted his head, a tired smirk curving the corner of his mouth.
“I just wanted you so much I couldn’t hold back, but I promise I’m usually much better than that. ”
“Better than that?” I coughed out a laugh. “Any better, you may kill me,” I half joked, because it felt like the road we were on—or would be if I weren’t careful.
“We need a shower,” Lee said. “Think you can make it quick?”
“If I go in alone, sure.”
He grinned, glancing at the clock by the bed.
“We should have a good hour before Bennie is up. Come on,” Lee said, scrunching his nose when he pulled down the wet sheet. “That’s not how I thought the morning would go.”
Same.
I grabbed underwear, a T-shirt, and yoga pants and followed Lee to the bathroom.
“I can wait,” I started to say when he peeled off his boxers and reached behind me to shut the door, pressing a finger to his lips.
My gaze fell to the tight globes of his ass when he turned on the shower, testing the water with his hand and stepping inside.
“Come on,” Lee said, sending me a crooked grin while he held out his hand, the water hitting his shoulder and trailing down his torso. My eyes followed a lucky drop as it disappeared between his legs.
“Let’s get you clean,” he said, grabbing the showerhead and drifting it back and forth over me. “My sweet Stella has a dirty side.”
“I never claimed to be sweet.” I took the showerhead and washed him off, shooting him a glare.
I’d always hated being called sweet. My parents had raised me to be kind and nice to everyone, but sweet had always sounded condescending to me.
I’d overheard Gary tell Lee once that he’d worried about me in college because I was too sweet and na?ve when it came to “asshole frat boys”—and to my horror, Lee had agreed.
I’d known it had come from a place of affection and concern from both of them, but all it had done was remind me how I’d always be just a “sweet girl” in Lee’s eyes.
Lee’s eyes now raking over me as we showered together, full of heat and hunger, hadn’t been in any realm of possibility.
“But you are. Sweet and sexy, and no one sees the dirty side but me now.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me flush to his wet body.
“Is that so?” I taunted, reaching behind him to hook the showerhead back in place.
“Damn right, it’s so,” he said, tightening his hold around me. “Feels good to finally have you in my arms. Not that I haven’t before, but this is…all different.”
“Different is one way to look at it.” I chuckled. “It does feel good,” I said, dragging my lips across his collarbone before resting my forehead against his chest. I let the water run down my back, through the long tresses of my hair as I let it all soak in.
“Hey,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head. “Look at me.”
I dragged my head up to meet his gaze, his black hair, even darker under the shower and bringing out his crystal-blue eyes even more.
“After all these years, this should seem weird, but it’s not. At all.” He laughed. “In fact, it feels more right than I ever could have imagined.” His wide grin kicked up my heart before it faded. “But if it’s weird for you, I get it—”
“It’s not. I mean, it is.” I let go of a nervous chuckle. Even though I was thirty-three, everything we’d just done had felt like my first time.
Or that it was the only time it counted. But Lee wasn’t ready to hear that yet, or I wasn’t ready to say it. Where would I even start? It seemed safer to let Lee think my feelings had only started when I’d moved in to his house, not in grief group all those years ago.
Lee studied my face, his brow creasing as he waited for me to continue.
“It’s weird and wonderful, and with you is the only place I want to be.”
A slow smile spread across his face. I’d meant every word, even if I’d left out the ever.
“Give me that mouth,” he said, bringing me in for a slow, deep kiss that drove me out of my mind. I sighed into his mouth as he stroked my tongue with his, taking his time instead of the rushed and heated kisses we’d shared last night and this morning.
“I told you I was okay,” I murmured against his mouth, whimpering when he hooked my leg over his hip.
“I don’t know about that.” He held my gaze as he pressed into me, his cock hard against my thigh. “Let’s see if you stay upright while you come in my mouth.”
A loud moan slipped out of me before I slapped my hand over my mouth. Lee kissed down my body and settled on his knees, my clit throbbing in anticipation while I white-knuckled the towel bar, praying my legs didn’t give out when Lee put his mouth on me.
“Daddy!”
We both froze at Bennie’s voice.
“I have to pee, and the door is locked. Is Stella’s head sick? Is that why you took her into the bathroom?”
“Shit,” Lee hissed, popping off the floor. “Every other Sunday, she sleeps late.”
“Hold on, Ben,” he said, wiping the towel over his body while he reached for his boxers.
“Come in,” he said, slowly pushing the door open. I hid back in the shower, praying she didn’t spot my clothes before Lee ushered her out. We hadn’t talked specifics of anything. What we’d tell Bennie or our families and when, although I guessed friends had a good enough idea not to be shocked.
Guilt and shame hit me hard at traumatizing this sweet little girl who’d never seen her father with a woman before, and I wasn’t sure if it being me would make that better or worse.
Plus, I was naked and wasn’t in a position to explain anything to her, even if I knew what to say.
“Thank you, Daddy.” I smiled at her deep, relieved sigh as I heard a steady stream. “Hi, Stella.”
I wouldn’t ignore her or lie to her, but finding me naked with her father would be one of those core memories I didn’t want to give her.
Wincing, I peeked my head out of the curtain and made sure it covered me.
“Good morning, Ben,” I said as she pulled up her pajama pants and washed her hands.
“Hi.” Her innocent smile, wide and bright like it was every morning, made more guilt coil in my gut. “Does your head hurt? Did Daddy have to stay in here to watch you like he had to watch you sleep last night?” Her cute forehead crinkled with concern as she came up to the curtain.
“Yes. Daddy was worried, but I’m okay.” I tried to smile as wide as I could, my lips already chapped from beard burn.
“Oh,” she said, her brow furrowed as she looked between us. “Can we have pancakes? That won’t hurt Stella’s head, right?”
“Sure,” Lee said, rubbing the back of his head. “Go get dressed, then you can help me.”
“Yes!” She raised her fist in the air and swiveled her head to me. “Don’t worry, Stella. We’ll keep taking care of you.”
Lee met my gaze after she closed the door and folded over, laughing as he held his head.
“This is not funny!” I balled up a washcloth and threw it at him. “We can’t do anything with her in the house.”
“So you’re good holding out for another eleven years?” he asked, pulling the curtain out of my hands. “Not a chance. She’s fine. She’s focused on pancakes and making sure your head doesn’t hurt. We’ll ease her into this.”
He cupped my neck and brushed my lips with a light, yet somehow still dirty, kiss.
“I’ll meet you downstairs. We make pretty good pancakes, even though I had my heart set on eating something else,” he said, swatting my wet hip. “Like my daughter said, we’ll take good care of you.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and left the bathroom.
I stared at the door for a long minute before I stepped out of the tub, swiping the steam off the mirror to get a closer look at my face. The bruises didn’t look too bad, the crimson flush in my cheeks a lot more pronounced.
I looked tense yet happy. Confused but relieved.
I’d run from yet chased Lee for what felt like my whole life. Now that I had him, I had no idea what to do with either of us.