Chapter 28 Stella
TWENTY-EIGHT
STELLA
“Wake up, beautiful,” Lee whispered. His laugh vibrated against my back when I shook my head.
“No,” I groaned into the pillow, reaching back to pull him closer. “Stay in bed with me.”
“I can’t do that. The buses are coming early. Trust me, I wouldn’t go anywhere if I didn’t have to.”
I rolled over and sat up, running a hand down my face while I yawned.
“I thought you didn’t have to be there until the afternoon?” I rubbed my eyelids.
“Silas texted yesterday that the buses were rescheduled for four a.m.” He flashed me a wicked grin. “I was too distracted after we got Bennie to bed to mention it.”
“I would have probably been too distracted to remember anyway,” I said, adjusting the sheets over my torso.
“I’ll find my clothes and head back to my bedroom before Bennie wakes up.
” I squinted at the nightstand on my side, where my bra and panties hung over the edge.
“We’re animals,” I said, reaching over as Lee caught my hand.
“Or you could stay in here. I like knowing you’re lying naked in my bed.
” He ran his finger along the edge of the sheet covering my chest. “And we can explain to Bennie that you sleep in here now because you’re my girlfriend.
” Lee raised a brow. “And you can stop sneaking down the hall like some kind of thief in the night.”
My heart leaped at the word girlfriend.
For the past couple of nights, I’d slept in Lee’s bedroom until a half hour before Bennie woke up. She’d noticed a lot already but hadn’t pieced it together, and I didn’t want to shock her.
I also didn’t want to shock myself.
We hadn’t really labeled what we were. I’d blamed it on the new passion high, my high years in the making and probably in a different stratosphere from Lee’s, but we needed to talk about what we were doing other than having a lot of amazing sex.
This was the chance I’d always wanted with Lee and, as I’d told my brother, one I couldn’t pass up. But I was almost afraid to acknowledge what we were doing, as if saying it out loud would bring it to a stop.
“Girlfriend, huh?” I said, trying to come off playful as my pulse kicked up.
“Yeah,” Lee said, his blue eyes narrowing at me. “Did you really think there would be a chance in hell that I’d share you?”
A chill rushed up my spine as his words came out like a growl. Butterflies took off in my stomach as everything below my waist clenched.
“I guess not,” I said, my wimpy response the only words I was able to get out as the rest of them lodged in my throat.
“You guess?” He gripped the nape of my neck. “I’m yours, and you’re mine. We can call it whatever you want, as long as that’s clear.”
“I’m okay with girlfriend. You’re a little too old to be a boyfriend, though,” I teased.
“I’m a year older than you, sweetheart.”
I yelped when he pinched my side.
“I think I can pull off boyfriend,” he whispered, picking up my hand and kissing the inside of my wrist, his eyes locking with mine. His lips were warm and soft, the extra stubble around his mouth scraping my skin as he peppered more kisses along my palm.
“I think you can too,” I said in a breathy whisper while he rained kisses over my face and came back to my lips. I grabbed the back of his head and slanted my mouth over his, letting the sheet drop.
He coasted his hand across my chest, squeezing one of my breasts as I fell back on the bed.
“I’m never going to get out of here,” he panted into the crook of my neck as he slipped his hand between my legs. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
“We can be fast,” I said, fumbling with his belt. “In and out and on the road.” I made it to the button of his jeans and pulled down the zipper as he pushed them down his legs.
“You’re killing me,” he murmured against my lips and slid inside. I smiled into the kiss and bucked my hips off the bed, trying to meet him thrust for punishing thrust, rushing us and savoring us at the same time. I chased and dreaded my release, already missing him tonight.
I’d missed him for years, even when we were in the same room. And now, he was mine. An evil voice in my head still taunted for now, but I wouldn’t let it win. I dug my nails into his back, sinking my teeth into his shoulder while I spread my legs wider.
Lee was about to consume me, and I was ready to let him. But hadn’t he always?
Lee slipped a hand between us and swirled his thumb around my clit in just the right spot for me to fall over the edge, my orgasm quick and blinding as it hit. Lee went rigid, spilling inside me as he fisted the sheets.
“I need a minute before I pull up my pants and get in the car,” Lee said, his chest heaving against mine when he lifted his head. “In and out, huh?”
“More or less,” I said, lifting a shoulder. “Sorry if I made you late.” I wrapped my arms around him, both of us still chasing our breath. So many feelings barreled over me, it was hard to keep up.
I finally had the life I’d always wanted, not the one that kept me on the move so I couldn’t dwell on the crushing disappointment of not having it.
I had it now, but the restlessness hadn’t totally gone away. Maybe once I started believing that this was reality and not a fever dream, it would.
The process was slow, but I was getting there. The soreness between my legs was at least a validating sign that I was awake.
He ran his thumb over my cheek. “I still have time. So you’ll stay in my bed?”
“Yes, and we can tell Bennie I’m your girlfriend when you come back so I don’t have to set two alarms in the morning.”
“Say it again,” Lee rasped, running his thumb over my swollen lips.
“Girlfriend.”
“What a fantastic fucking word.” He pecked my lips. “I’m going to go. Don’t follow me, or I’ll really be late. Go back to sleep.”
“Okay. I’ll stay put.” I settled on my side, tucking my hands under my cheek. “Have a safe trip, Doc.”
Lee lingered by the door, a hazy smile drifting across his perfect mouth.
I love you dangled on my tongue, but I bit it back. It was too soon, and I wasn’t ready to let go of that last confession.
“It’s an easy trip. But I’ll miss my girlfriend every minute.”
I laughed when he shut the door behind him, scooting to his side of the bed to burrow my head into his pillow.
Girlfriend was a pretty fantastic word.
I managed an extra hour of sleep before I woke up to get Bennie ready for school.
She had been sleeping and hadn’t seen which door I’d come out of, but it seemed significant all the same.
She babbled at breakfast as usual, no questions about her father and me while I helped her get ready for school.
“Are you going to be at school again today?” Bennie asked me as I worked her hair into three braids.
I’d spent a lot of time on Pinterest looking up different braids, this weird urge to up my game for Bennie every day leading me to countless online videos and tutorials. She’d light up with every new hairstyle I came up with, and I loved the idea of her showing off at school.
Despite my new title, it wasn’t a given that I’d move in with them permanently at the end of the season, but I was hopeful to stay in Bennie’s life as more than just a casual friend past October.
“Yes. Today is my lunch day.” I cinched the hair tie at the bottom of her ponytail braid after I entwined the three. Maybe there was work for me as a hairdresser. Beauty school after an MBA was an odd educational progression, but now anything seemed possible.
“Wow,” Bennie gasped as she gazed into the mirror, turning her head from side to side. “Everyone is going to love it.”
“You are great for my ego, kiddo,” I said, kissing the top of her head. “Let’s get your uniform on. Only a few more weeks left of school!”
“I can’t wait until summer. Maybe we can go to the beach some days?” Her hopeful blue eyes locked with mine as she buttoned her shirt.
“We’ll think of something. I’ll talk to your dad.”
My mind went to the three of us in beach chairs, lounging on the sand.
I blinked it away, grabbing Bennie’s lunch bag and helping her hoist her backpack onto her shoulders.
It was hard not to want everything with Lee now that I had him, but I was afraid of creating problems if I didn’t slow down.
And I was afraid of confessing how long I’d wanted to be with Lee, even when I’d pretended not to. It felt weird and wrong to admit I’d loved him while he was married to someone else, so I kept my past yearning to myself.
It was a big lie of omission. The thought of unloading that final secret should have brought on relief, not made my chest tighten whenever it crossed my mind.
“Okay, girlie. I will see you around eleven forty-five.”
She hugged my neck when I bent to kiss her goodbye.
“Those braids are so cool!”
We turned to find Sienna, flashing a smile at Bennie.
“Thank you,” Bennie said, polite but not reciprocating any of Sienna’s excitement.
“See you inside,” Sienna said. “Maybe you can teach me how to do that at recess.” The ends of the bow tied around her ponytail bounced as she headed for the school doors.
“Big change in attitude, I see,” I mused after Sienna disappeared inside.
“Ever since Nate picked me up and I brought the baseball that Adrian gave me to school for show-and-tell.” She shrugged. “I’m glad she isn’t mean anymore, but I don’t know if I want to be her friend.”
“You don’t have to be. Just be kind when you see her.”
“Of course. I’m very kind.” She raised her brow.
“And smart and pretty and awesome.”
A wide grin split Bennie’s face.
“See you in a few hours,” I told her as she headed into school.
“Good morning, Stella.”
I turned to Lorraine’s voice. She hadn’t spoken to me much since that first week, but she threw looks in my direction enough as she whispered to the other moms, especially when Lee came with me to pick Bennie up at dismissal.
“Hi, Lorraine,” I said, reminding myself now to be kind to unkind people.
“I guess Lee is away. I’d mentioned that playdate again the last time he was here. Maybe you could ask him when you speak to him.”