Chapter 13
thirteen
. . .
My heart drums wildly. Not even a minute later, there’s a knock on the door.
Turning to the mirror above the entryway table, I smooth out my hair. Why am I so nervous? It’s not like we’ve never met. It’s been a few years since we’ve last seen each other in person, though, and that’s enough time to make me question everything.
Shit. I’m taking too long to answer the door.
It’s borderline a cinematic moment when I pull it open.
We immediately lock eyes, and it’s as if no time has passed between us.
His presence fills the entryway completely and envelops me in a magnetic pull.
I’m completely lost in him, yet also found.
There’s an electric current in the air, and a feeling of home falls over me.
The chemistry we have is unmistakable. I want nothing more than to feel his hands on me. Knowing he’s mine for the night has me feeling giddy.
“Hi,” I say, grinning timidly.
“Hi, love,” he says back with a crooked grin, bowing down to wrap me in a hug. “Mm. Much better than a dream.”
He holds me close, resting his chin on top of my head as I wrap my arms around him, my hands feeling the hard definition of his back and shoulders. I feel so tiny compared to him, nestling the side of my face against his chest.
“You smell so good,” he tells me.
“You do too.”
Breathing him in, I swoon. So warm and savory. Cedarwood and leather, maybe?
Don’t moan.
Not yet, at least.
We reluctantly pull apart and he steps inside, shutting the door gently behind him.
“This is wild,” I rush out, laughing sheepishly. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
“In the flesh,” he jokes.
“I’m really glad you came.”
“I’ve missed you,” he says, bringing me into his chest once more.
With a grin, I hold him tight. “I’ve missed you too.”
“Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” he asks as we pull apart. “I always feel gross after being at the airport.”
Hot damn.
Do I mind having my extremely sexy friend with benefits bless my shower with his naked ass?
“No, I don’t mind,” I answer easily.
“Okay, cool.” He arches a brow, staring at me playfully. “Where’s your bathroom again?”
“Oh. Yes. Right,” I babble through anxious laughter. “It’s connected to my room.”
He gestures with his hand for me to lead the way. Holy shit, I’m making a fool of myself tonight. When was the last time I was this nervous? I chew on the inside of my cheek, leading the way to my bedroom.
“Are you okay?” he asks from several strides behind me.
“Yeah. Of course.”
“You sure?”
My bedroom is dim with the only source of light coming from the purple, blue, and pink neon signs displayed on my walls. After flicking the bathroom light on, I turn to observe him standing beside my queen-sized bed. Fuck, he’s massive. And hot. So fucking hot.
“How tall are you again?” I ask.
Looking over the photos of my favorite memories with my friends displayed around the edges of my vanity mirror, he answers quietly. “Six-five.”
Holy toss me over your shoulder.
“I knew you were tall, but shit, I didn’t remember you being this tall.”
“What’s your height?” he questions, locking his eyes with mine.
There’s something about having direct eye contact with him without a screen separating us.
It’s intense. They’re a gorgeous amber outlined with a set of thick, dark lashes matching his jet-black hair.
He stares down at me, slowly approaching where I reside in the doorway.
I step back, craning my neck to look up at him as he towers over me.
Lucien grins slightly as I step several feet back into my room. I really need to stop staring at his full, pouty lips… but I can’t tear my eyes away.
They part slightly, as if he’s trying to draw me in. His tongue piercing glints in his mouth as he wets his bottom lip with his tongue.
Don’t even get me started on how sharp his jawline is, and how broad his neck and shoulders are, tattoos peeking through the high neckline of his black hoodie.
With a subtle smirk, he pulls his sweater over his head. Next, his shirt comes off.
Jesus fuck. There’s a shirtless, tattooed man with a body rippling with veins and muscles, standing in the doorway of my bathroom. And all his attention is on me.
Inching closer and peering down at me, he hums quietly. “Hmm. Five-two?” he guesses.
With a nervous gulp, I stare into his eyes. “Five-three,” I correct. “Crazy. The top of my head is below your shoulder.”
“It’s cute. You’re stunning, by the way,” he tells me.
Grinning, I turn away shyly. “I wanted to look cute for you.”
Suddenly, he takes my jaw in his hand and redirects my gaze onto him once more. Although his touch is gentle and playful, it’s also incredibly dominating.
“You always look gorgeous,” he says, his voice low, sensual.
My heart flutters as I stare longingly into his mesmerizing brown eyes. “Thank you,” I murmur, biting my lip.
With a crooked smile, he leans his shoulder against the doorframe. “Now would you like me to shut the bathroom door here, or leave it open so you can watch?”
My eyes widen with anticipation.
He stares straight into my soul, waiting for instruction.
“Which option would you rather?” I ask innocently.
“I want whatever you want, princess.”
My knees almost buckle at the sound of that. Hearing ‘princess’ fall from his lips makes my stomach flip over. It hits even harder in person. Pressing my thighs together instinctively, I bite my lip.
Fuck it.
“Leave the door open,” I urge.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Oof.
Is now the appropriate time to ask him to bark for me? I’m sure he would if I asked nicely.
He turns on the water while I watch awkwardly from the doorway. A part of me feels like a creep, but the other part feels intrigued. Exhilarated, even. He doesn’t seem to mind having an audience one bit, either, considering how quickly he steps out of his sweatpants.
Gaping at his backside, my jaw almost drops.
The gym is his best friend, that’s for sure.
His skin is covered in ink and toned, pronounced muscles run down his upper and middle back, flexing with each movement.
My gaze lowers, taking in the sight of his firm, round ass.
You can easily tell this man does his squats.
There’s no way this is real life. I must be dreaming.
My heart isn’t the only thing fluttering.
“Pretty nice size shower,” he points out, glancing at me from over his shoulder. “Definitely enough room for two.”
“I’m not sure,” I murmur, flustered. “You’re pretty big.”
Lucien turns to face me. My gaze somehow wanders between his legs and while I try to hide my honest reaction, I fail miserably. My mouth falls wide open.
“Oh?” he questions, smug.
“Oh my god,” I breathe out, looking away nervously, observing him instead through the reflection in the mirror.
Even though I had seen his cock earlier in our video call, I was not expecting this. Even when soft, he’s still long and thick. How is it so much bigger in person? Now I know what they mean when they say someone has a third arm.
“You good?” he teases.
Putting on my best poker face, I grin. “Never been better.”
Turning my head back to him, I try my best to concentrate on his face. We share an intense stare for a moment. My pulse quickens. Steam fills the bathroom.
My skin feels like it’s on fire.
Lucien grins crookedly. “I’m gonna shower now.”
“Have fun.”
The sound of him chuckling softly from behind me as I shut the door almost sends me into a spiral. Have fun? What the literal fuck.
Smacking my forehead with the heel of my palm, I mentally scold myself.
He just gave me a show like seven hours ago, and here I am acting like I’ve never seen a naked man before.
Maybe it’s because this is the first man I’ve actually been attracted to.
As bizarre as it sounds, I’ve never experienced this level of connection or chemistry with anyone.
It just feels right with Lucien. He makes me feel safe to come out of my comfort zone, and he’s always been so gentle with me in the ways my ex boyfriend was not.
It’s not forced at all, if anything it comes so naturally.
It could be because it started off as friendship with no expectations of turning into something more.
Once I get back from the laundry room, I shake off any nerves and enter the bathroom.
“I got you a clean towel,” I tell him, placing it onto the counter. “It just came out of the dryer so it’s still warm.”
“Amazing hospitality. I’ll make sure to rate this place five stars.”
Letting out a small breath, I snort at his humor. “You better.”
“A warm towel sounds amazing. Thank you,” he calls out over the sound of the water.
Of course. It’s the least I could do for the guy who’s hopefully about to fuck my brains out.
“No problem,” I reply, observing the outline of his masculine frame through the foggy glass pane.
Even though the finish of the glass causes a slight distortion, I can make out every contour of his body. Holy hell, he’s something else. Trying to relieve the dull ache between my thighs, I clench my legs together. He turns my way. I can sense that he’s looking at me.
There’s so much sexual tension between us. Being in person has it heightened immensely. Fighting the urge to join him in the shower, I lean back against the counter.
“I’m being awkward, aren’t I?” I ask through soft laughter.
He chuckles. “Not at all.”
“I honestly don’t remember how to do this,” I admit.
“No worries, really,” he easily responds. “It doesn’t need to be sexual, either. Think of this as two friends reuniting.”
“Really?”
“Of course. After all these years, I’m just happy to see you. Maybe…maybe I can just hold you? If you’ll let me?”
A quiet giggle escapes me.
“I’m a huge cuddler,” he adds.
“Now when you say things like ‘let me hold you’… it makes me want to do more than cuddle.”
“Oh yeah? What does it make you want to do?”
“It makes me want to rip your clothes off.”
“No need,” he softly replies, running his hands through his hair. “My clothes are already off.”
Hot.
“Question,” I say.
“Ask away.”
“When’s the last time you’ve been tested?”
“About a year ago, after my last partner,” he tells me. “I’m good. You?”
“I’m also good. Got tested after my ex, just in case.”
“We should discuss boundaries, too,” he presses.
“Nothing in my ass,” I state. “Maybe someday, but not tonight.”
“Got it.” He laughs dryly. “Nothing in mine, either. Anything else?”
“Nothing that I can think of at the top of my head,” I tell him, my gaze following his hand movements through the glass door as he continues to wash his body.
“Just in case you’re not feeling something in the moment, let’s come up with a safe word.”
“Okay,” I murmur, my eyes wandering lower.
“Anything in mind?”
“Eggplant,” I suggest, the word slipping out a bit too quickly.
“Interesting. Cool. I like it.”
Suddenly, my pajamas are in a pile on the floor.
He turns to face me as I enter the shower. Blinking through water droplets that fall from his hair, he surveys me with a heated gaze, taking in the sight of my bare body.
A sharp groan escapes his chest. “Fuck,” he grits out.
Goosebumps rise along my body as the warm water meets my cool skin.
My pierced nipples harden. I switched out the regular barbells for cute black hearts earlier.
He notices them, staring down at my now pert breasts, and breathes hard.
He moves aside quickly, putting his back to the wall.
Taking full advantage of the small space, I step beneath the steady stream, moaning softly.
“God, this feels so good,” I sigh, admiring the heat on my skin.
“Mmm,” he hums from behind me. “Can I touch you?”
“Not yet.”
“Fuck. Okay.”
“Actually,” I murmur, handing him a loofah. “Could you wash my back for me?”
He clears his throat. “Mhm.”
“Thanks.”
“I got you.”
A quiet breath falls from my lips at the gentle sensation of my back being washed.
It feels like heaven. It’s a struggle to keep my eyes open, so I allow them to shut.
I sigh softly, stretching my neck. Showering with someone is such an intimate act.
Although I feel exposed, and as vulnerable as ever, I also feel comfort.
He moves my hair over to one side, his fingers brushing my skin ever so slightly.
“Sorry,” Lucien whispers.
“It’s okay,” I whisper back, glancing over my shoulder to meet his eyes.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he declares, his gaze piercing through me. “They lied when they said perfection doesn’t exist. I’m looking at it right now.”
Suddenly, I’m laughing. I’m not sure if it’s from how nervous I was earlier or because of how adorable that sounded coming from him.
“You’re laughing,” he points out, rolling his eyes with a playful smirk. “Let me wash your hair or something, dork. Come here.”
Even though his touch is innocent, there’s something so sensual about it as well.
He works his long, lean fingers through my soapy hair, massaging my scalp with deliberate attention.
When I’d read about the magnetic pull characters could feel to their lovers, I’d never understood what they meant—until now.
“Oh, wow,” I say in approval, letting my head rock back in satisfaction.
“Feels good?”
“Fuck yes.”
He continues working his magic for the next several minutes, trailing his hands down to squeeze my shoulders.
“Is this okay?” he asks.
“My neck has been so tight.”
“Stress will do that,” he explains, working through the knots. “Gaming too.”
“Mmm,” I reply quietly, wobbling slightly.
My shoulders are mush in his large hands. His strong yet gentle touch feels electric. My body yearns for him. I’ve never wanted someone so badly in my life.
“You might need a better chair,” he suggests. “I’ll buy you a good one. Are your monitors at eye level?”
Unable to resist him any longer, I spin carefully around to face him and lift my gaze to look into his eyes.
The sound of running water mingles with our shared breath, our eyes darting back and forth to each other's lips. I lean into him; standing on my tip toes, my arms find their way around his neck. With Lucien’s hands pressed against my lower back, he brings me closer; his warm, masculine body flush with mine.
Anticipation builds. His eyes search mine eagerly as he brings a hand up to hold the nape of my neck, his thumb lightly tracing along my jaw. He leans down, hesitating briefly, his lips just a fraction of an inch from mine.
“Once I kiss you, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop,” he warns.
“Just kiss me,” I compel him.