Chapter 13
13
CHLOE
Had I said we , not you?
I must have.
“Because the way you’ve been avoiding me the past few days, I wasn’t sure where we stood. You ghosted me, Chloe.”
“It’s not an excuse, but you turned down multiple requests to come over in the past couple weeks, and you refused my invitations to come to my place, with no explanation. I accepted it. I didn’t accuse you of ghosting me.”
Though I’d wondered more than a few times. But I also knew I was a mess while Brad seemed so…solid. Of course John would have asked him not to mention that he was planning on selling the business. Quite a few of the crew would start putting in their resumes everywhere at the first whisper of a possible change of management. They’d tell other people, and soon John’s business would suffer even if he decided not to sell. Even if he sold it to Brad.
“That’s fair. But instead of asking me outright about what you overheard, you ran.”
“I know. I’m really sorry.”
He held up one hand. “You didn’t trust me, even though I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me. If we’re going to be a couple, you need to talk to me when you have an issue. To ask me questions. I promise I will always answer you truthfully. You said you liked me. That’s great. But I want there to be more between us. More than just casual dates, sneaking around behind John’s back. What do you see for us? Am I wasting my time by thinking we have a future?”
For the last several years, I’d been lonely. Feeling like I had no one to talk to, to binge watch shows with, to chill with. I’d found that with Brad. I loved making love with him, but even better was waking up beside him. We didn’t feel like just friends even if it did come with wonderful benefits. In less than two months, he had become a best friend.
Brad was nothing like Tony. Brad went out of his way to do favors for friends and strangers because he knew it was the right thing to do. He cared about people, would never cheat them the way Tony had. Of all the work he’d done for Marilyn and so many others, he’d always turned down any offers of payment. Tony would have not only taken what they offered but demanded more. Tony was my past and I needed to get over him. I needed to trust that good men like Brad existed.
I reached across the table and placed my hand on his. “You’re right. I should have asked you about it that night. I understand why you couldn’t tell me about John selling the business, and that’s all on me. I can’t promise I’m not going to screw up again. But I want more from this—” I circled my free hand between us. “Than to be friends.”
Time to come clean the whole way. I took a deep breath and addressed the other elephant in the room. “Plus there was the whole age gap thing.”
“What age gap thing?”
“I’m nine years older than you.”
“So?”
“So?” I repeated in incredulity.
“No one would bat an eye at the nine year age difference if you were the guy and I was a woman.”
He was right, but?—
“But you’re worried that I’m going to roll over one day and see you have a few grey hairs or a few extra wrinkles and think, what? You’re too old?”
I nodded.
“Chloe, I’ve already got grey hair in my beard.”
“No, you don’t.”
“That’s because I been plucking them out.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up, but my amusement immediately died. “What about kids?”
“What about ‘em?”
“I’m forty-three. I doubt I could get pregnant at this stage. Or that I should.” I held up my hand when he started to speak. “I know there’s always IVF or adoption, but I’m not sure I want kids. Not at my age.” I had. Once. But then reality of life with, and after, Tony hit hard and given up any dreams of having a baby.
Brad leaned forward, not breaking my gaze. “My brother has four kids. All boys. Including a set of twins. Shelly has three kids. All girls who can reach a decibel level that’ll deafen you. Joy has a son and a daughter who are both going concerns. I’ve stayed with them all at various times and I gotta admit, I’m not sure I have the energy to take care of kids. Especially if we’re going to start this business and have to be on call twenty-four seven. Kids have not been on my radar. It’s not an issue for me. So don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure? Because I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the need to get married again, but I don’t want to lose you either.” I didn’t think my heart or soul could take losing Brad.
He turned his hand over and clasped his fingers around mine. “I don’t want to lose you either. I’m all in on this relationship. My parents would say we were going steady, I guess. But I don’t want anyone else in my life. We’re good.”
Holy crap, we were doing this. This wonderful man who had no red flags that I, or Marilyn, could spot, wanted me. Air rushed out of my lungs and the tension in my shoulders lessened.
“Okay then.” I blew out another breath and gave him a tremulous smile. “Let’s figure out how we can buy out John or find a way to start our own business.”
“Our business?”
“Well, yes. You’ll be the owner and chief arborist, and I’ll be your office manager.”
I’d meant to return to the bank’s letter, to grab my laptop and start looking up start-up loans or government grants. To research how much it would cost to buy used equipment, because going from the numbers Molly had provided Brad, they were way overestimated the value of used equipment.
Instead, Brad stood up, our hands still linked, tugged me out of my chair, and kissed me until I couldn’t think straight. “I love you, you know.”
“I love you too.” I hadn’t planned to say the words. Hadn’t said them even to myself. I hadn’t dared to. But now they were out there, I didn’t regret the impulse. I wouldn’t have taken them back even if I could.
“I love you,” I repeated, firmer in my conviction.