Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
DREW
“Thanks for coming with me tonight,” I tell Ally as we drive home from the gala. “And for the rescue on the dance floor.”
“Someone should have reminded Nina to dance with the one that brought her,” Ally grumbles. “She looked like she wanted to eat you for dessert.”
“Jealous, Ally?”
“I was, actually,” she admits.
My lips curve upward in satisfaction, but then she keeps talking.
“But it’s hardly surprising, right?” she asks. “I mean, we’re living together and pretending to be in a relationship.”
“That’s true.”
“So it’s probably some kind of placebo effect,” she muses. “All the pretending has tricked my brain into thinking I’m jealous.”
“Maybe.”
“That’s probably why a lot of arranged marriages end up working out,” she says thoughtfully. “If you tell two healthy adults they’re in a relationship and force them to live together, a lot of them will develop feelings for each other.”
Well, then. If I didn’t already feel guilty about suggesting a fake relationship, I sure as hell would now.
“You think so?” I ask.
“Sure,” she nods. “We must be biologically programmed that way, so the species will survive.”
“Could be, I guess.”
“But Drew?”
I glance over at Ally, who’s got a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
“Yeah?” I say cautiously.
“That wasn’t a placebo erection.”
A chuckle escapes before I can stop it. She’s right about that; the erection was definitely real. I shouldn’t have held her so close, but she looked so fucking hot in that dress and heels, I couldn’t resist. And once I brushed against the softness of her stomach, it was over.
I knew she noticed, and I gave her the chance to step back, but she didn’t. She moved closer, and I convinced myself that she liked it.
“Yeah,” I say, glancing over at Ally again. “Yeah, uh, about that . . .”
“Just a reflex, right?” she says with a grin.
“Actually . . .” I trail off and debate what to tell her.
“It’s fine, Drew,” she says. “I didn’t mind it.”
She didn’t mind it. I’d have preferred a little more enthusiasm, but I guess I’ll take that. “Really?”
“Sure.” Her tone is so casual, she could be discussing what she’s planning to cook for dinner tomorrow. “I mean, I’ve been curious about it.”
I wish she’d be more specific. This isn’t the time for vague pronouns like it. “You’ve been curious about . . .”
“You know,” she says. “How it would be between us.”
It again. This conversation is driving me absolutely insane.
“I think it’s normal,” Ally continues. “Under the circumstances.”
“What are you saying, Ally?”
She hesitates for a beat, then takes a deep breath. “I’ve been wondering what it would be like to sleep with you.”
My hands clench the steering wheel so tightly I’m amazed it maintains its shape.
When I don’t reply right away, Ally keeps talking. “I mean, we’re living together, and we’re not dating other people, so it would make sense.”
“Ah.” It’s not a brilliant reply, but it’s the best I’ve got at the moment.
“Have you thought about it?” Ally asks lightly.
Only every waking minute.
“No,” I grit out.
“Oh.” The disappointment is clear in her voice, and it pinches my chest.
I force myself to focus on the road, and we drive in silence for a few minutes. I know I should change the subject and talk about something harmless, like the weather or the hockey playoffs, but I can’t manage to do it.
“What would you think about it?” Ally asks as we drive into the condo garage.
And now there’s no doubt what it is.
I park the car with unusual care to buy myself a little time.
What would I think about it? It would be the fulfillment of a fantasy. A dream. Everything I’ve wanted for weeks.
And a mistake.
Because Ally’s just spouted a bunch of nonsense about a placebo effect, and people in arranged marriages being forced to live together. And biological programming for the survival of the species.
And I promised I wouldn’t take advantage of her. So much as it kills me (and right now, it feels like it might), I can’t sleep with her.
Not tonight, anyway.
Because if I sleep with Ally, it’s going to be because she wants me. Drew Malone. Not because we’re two healthy adults who happen to be sharing a condo, or because the charade of pretending is playing a trick on her brain. Not just because we’re living together and it makes sense.
Not because of a placebo effect.
I want her to want me, regardless of whether it makes sense or not. The way I want her.
I put the car in park and turn off the ignition before I turn to face her.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Ally,” I tell her.
“Right, of course.” Her words come out so quickly I can barely understand them. “Forget I asked.”
She gets out of the car and starts toward the elevator, and I sit frozen for a minute, admiring the way she looks from the back. Her high heels make her legs look impossibly long, and I feel a sharp tug in my groin.
And then she stops, turns, and looks surprised to see I haven’t made it out of the car. I pull myself together and catch up with her.
The tapping of Ally’s heels echoes through the silent garage, and I glance down at her shoes. They’re soft pink, with delicate straps across the instep that fasten at the side with tiny buckles. High heels and pointed toes. I’m amazed she can walk in them; they must be killing her feet.
I imagine taking off her shoes. I’d sit her down on the couch and pull her legs into my lap, then unbuckle those little straps. Then I’d slip off the shoes and rub her feet. Her arches. Her ankles. Her calves.
“I had fun tonight, Drew,” Ally says as we ride the elevator up to the condo.
“Me too.”
“Do you have plans for tomorrow?” she asks casually.
“Not really.” The truth is, I can’t actually remember. I can’t focus on much beyond the fact that Ally looks like a million bucks and smells like peaches. And she’s standing less than a foot away from me in this tiny elevator.
The air between us feels charged, like a tiny spark would set things off.
It would be so easy to lean over and kiss her.
She’s been curious about how it would be between us.
But I turned her down.
The elevator reaches our floor with a ding, and we walk down the hall to my condo.
“Good night, Drew,” she says as soon as I’ve unlocked the door.
“Night, Ally.”
And just like that, she’s disappeared into her bedroom, leaving me to second guess my decision. If I’d answered her differently, I could be inside the room with her, watching her take off that dress . . .
No. I’d be tearing the dress off her.
I need to get out of this suit. I rush past Ally’s door, trying not to think about what’s happening on the other side of it. Then I leave my clothes in a puddle on my bedroom floor and hit the shower for some self-care.
Ten minutes later, I step out of the shower feeling a little better. I towel off, then slip on a t-shirt and boxers. There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep, so I bring my laptop into bed and log in to Netflix. I find a truly boring true crime show, but I’m still wide awake when it ends.
I’ve done the right thing, but the knowledge is deeply unsatisfying.
I close the laptop and stretch out in bed, hoping to find sleep. Not surprisingly, sleep eludes me, and I finally head to the kitchen for a drink of water.
And I find Ally sitting at the table, eating Hershey’s Kisses and drinking a glass of orange juice.
She looked stunning at the gala, but she looks even better now, sitting at my kitchen table in a white tank top and pajama shorts. No bra; I can see the outline of her nipples through her shirt. She’s washed off her makeup, and she looks very young and very beautiful.
And not very happy to see me.
“Hey, Drew,” she says flatly.
“Hey, Ally,” I say cautiously. “Can’t sleep either?”
“Nope.”
The clock on the microwave tells me it’s after one A.M. I pour myself a glass of water and join her at the table.
Ally keeps her gaze on her juice, refusing to meet my eye.
“What’s wrong, Ally?”
“Nothing.” She drains her glass of juice and carries it to the dishwasher. “I’m going to head back to bed.”
I stand to face her, because there’s clearly something eating her. “Come on, Ally. What’s wrong?”
“You really want to know, Drew?” She finally looks at me, and her blue eyes are flashing with emotions that I can’t interpret. Frustration, irritation, and maybe . . . lust?
But maybe that’s just wishful thinking again.
“Yeah. I really want to know.” Especially if it’s related to the conversation we had on the way home.
“Okay, then,” she blurts. “You already know the first part, I guess.”
“Spell it out for me.”
She sighs, as though she can’t believe I’m making her say it. “I basically propositioned you on the way home, and you shut me down,” she begins. “And I felt like an idiot, and—”
“No, Ally,” I interrupt. “It’s not that I didn’t want—it’s just that we agreed on three months, and I don’t want to complicate things, and—”
“I know it’s just three months, Drew,” she says. “I know you’re not looking for a relationship, and I’m not either. I don’t have any illusions about what this is. But . . .”
“But . . .” I prompt.
“But I like you a lot.” She spits out the words in a rush. “And you’re hot, okay? Ever since we kissed at the barbecue, I’ve been thinking about you at night.”
“What?” I ask hoarsely.
“Yeah,” she admits defiantly. “And tonight, even though you’d just shut me down, as soon as I fell asleep I had a dream about you.”
My throat’s as dry as the desert, and if Ally looks down, she’ll see the erection tenting my boxers. “What was the dream, Ally?”
She hesitates for a beat.
I take an involuntary step toward her, so there’s only about two feet of space between us now. Two feet of space and my conscience, and a stupid charade that I never should have started in the first place.
I take another step toward her. If I reach out, I could touch her hair. Her lips. Her breasts.
“What was the dream, Ally?”
She takes a deep breath. “I dreamed I snuck into your room while you were asleep.”
Damn it, she can’t stop there. My heart feels like it’s trying to beat out of my chest. “And then?”
“I climbed on top of you and . . . I’m sure you can imagine the rest.” The words are spilling out of her now.
“And then I woke up, and for a minute I didn’t know if it was a dream or if it had actually happened.
And I think I should probably move out, I’ll start looking for another apartment tomorrow—”
I take another step toward her and crush my mouth into hers, effectively ending all talk of her moving out. I’ve tried to be a gentleman, but I’m not a saint. I can’t resist anymore.
Ally responds immediately, sucking my tongue into her mouth. She tastes like chocolate and orange juice, and she’s clearly as hungry for this as I am.
She wraps her arms around my shoulders and takes a step closer, so the softness of her belly presses against my cock. My hands find her ass to pull her in closer, and she moans.
“Come to bed with me,” I mutter into her ear.
I feel her tense in my arms, as though she’s just realized what we’re doing. “You said it wasn’t a good idea.”
“I lied. I want you so fucking bad, Ally. We’ll act out your dream, or whatever you want, if you still want—”
“Yes.”
“Really?” I’m almost afraid to believe I heard her properly.
“Yes, Drew.”
I squeeze her ass and pull her even closer, so my cock’s firmly nestled in her belly. I stand frozen for a moment, just enjoying the sensations. The silk of her hair on my cheek, and the feel of her nipples against my chest.
The fact that she said yes.
Her breath’s coming fast and hard, and her stomach swells a little with each inhale. It feels like it’s caressing my cock. I want to move to the bed, but I also don’t want to move.
But then Ally slips her hand under the hem of my shirt and tugs upward. I reach down to help, pulling the shirt over my head and dropping it on the floor.
“God, Drew,” she says breathlessly, staring at my chest in a way that makes it clear she likes what she sees.
She bends her head to kiss my left nipple, swirling her tongue around it and teasing it with her teeth. When it’s pebbled and hard, she gives the right side the same attention. Then her hands start exploring my abs, skating lower and lower until she slips under the waistband of my boxers.
“Fuck, Ally,” I gasp as she fists me.
She lifts her head, and there’s a wicked gleam in her eye. “You like that, huh?”
“I like everything,” I say roughly. And I especially like the fact that she’s taking the initiative right now.
But I need to slow this down before I lose control completely.
“Let’s go to bed, Ally.”