9. Blair
Blair
A ndrei showing up for dinner was expected. Dragging Niko and I out of the house and depositing us at Alexei Trenin’s doorstep was not.
I wasn’t planning on going out today. The most exciting thing I’d accounted for was Andrei stopping by and badgering me about eating while I did my best to pretend he wasn’t there, which doesn’t require me or Niko to be dressed up.
In fact, if we were hanging out at home all day, it would be perfectly acceptable for Niko to still be in his pajamas. And if I was lounging around in worn leggings and an old hoodie? That’d be expected, too.
So when he parked outside of the high-rise apartment building, my anxiety combined with insecurity in a toxic mixture that I’m half convinced everyone around me can see written plainly on my face.
It didn’t help that I couldn’t stop blushing as Andrei glowered while he carried Niko around like it was nothing, or that I can’t stop thinking about how his stubborn demands stirred feelings I shouldn’t be having for someone like him. I refuse to think too hard about any of that right now.
The fact that it’s my first time meeting Nadya is only making everything worse.
She tucks a strand of shoulder-length hair behind her ear while I try to get over myself.
It’s not like either she or her brother are particularly dressed up.
In fact, she’s wearing loose jeans and a worn-out sweater.
Unlike Niko, I don’t look too far out of place, but from the way he’s focused on mimicking the careful way Nadya pinches shut a lump of filling and dough, I doubt he feels like it.
His work isn’t nearly as neat, but he looks satisfied as he presents the messy lump of dough to her, beaming from ear to ear.
Shaking my head, I turn back to the pile of vegetables in front of me.
Nadya tried to tell me that I’m a guest and shouldn’t have to do anything, but that’s not exactly true.
We were forced on them. I appreciate that she’s trying to put a pretty bow on it, but it is what it is.
After I insisted, she let me cut vegetables for a salad, a small distraction I’m very grateful to have.
“So, not that I mind the extra company, but”—she grins, a teasing glint in her eye as Niko tries again to pinch shut a ball of dough—“why did Andrei bring you guys here?” She doesn’t sound resentful, just curious, and that keeps me from feeling even worse.
I wish I knew. Andrei couldn’t be bothered to answer any of my questions on the way over. He just showed up, grabbed Niko, piled us into his car, and dumped us here .
“Your guess is as good as mine.” I shrug. Sure, he’s stopped by more often than not lately, but I figured he was making sure I didn’t take the first opportunity to run.
“Seriously? And here I was, hoping for some juicy gossip.” Nadya bumps her hip against mine.
“Sorry to disappoint.” I grin weakly. “Maybe he thinks I’ve spent too much time cooped up at home, and this is his way of letting me know.”
She laughs, head thrown back and looking so at home that I feel cramped, despite the large, open kitchen.
“Man, I was hoping that you were fun so I could actually have someone cool to hang out with.”
“Hey, I’m cooler than you are.” I flinch at Alexei’s voice, but he’s smiling at Nadya with steady affection. “Maybe if you could figure out how to make friends without having my friends hand deliver them, you’d be able to see that.”
“Oh, you have friends? That’s news to me.” He flips her off, looking chagrined when Nadya glares at him while pointing at Niko. “So, Mr. Popular, when’s the last time you hung out with someone you weren’t related to?”
He narrows his eyes at her while I toss the salad. “And when’s the last time you talked to anyone that wasn’t me?” She sticks her tongue out at him, and it feels like this is a conversation they’ve had a dozen times before.
“Alexei, look!” Niko interrupts, completely oblivious as he presents a butchered mess of dough that starts to fall apart in his hands the moment he picks it up. His proud look doubles when the corners of Alexei’s lips quirk up, rubbing the top of his head .
“Good job, Nikolai. Do you want to try to throw it in the oven and see how it turns out?” He helps Niko put the hand pie on a baking sheet and stands to leave the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
“I have to make a few calls. Let me know when the food’s done.”
Nadya rolls her eyes, but nods.
“God forbid you have fun for once in your life.”
As soon as he leaves the room, Niko’s off, following him. I reach out to stop him, but Nadya lays a hand on my arm. “Let him be. If anything, Niko will keep him from getting so busy he forgets we’re here. I mean, my brother’s great and all, but he’s a fucking buzzkill.”
I’m still reluctant to let Niko out of my sight, especially since I don’t trust Alexei as far as I can throw him, but if I don’t give Niko a little space, it’ll only be a matter of time before he starts to lash out at me. More than he already has, that is.
“I’ll take your word for it,” I say, smiling with a brightness I don’t feel.
***
Niko’s arms can barely reach his plate, and his face is scrunched up in concentration as he tries in vain to cut his hand pie. It’s half burnt where he pinched it too thin, but he insisted on eating the ones he made.
His obvious pride makes me smile, even as he struggles.
“Would you like some help?” I ask him .
“No, thank you,” he replies, focused on his task while I add a salad to his plate. His fork slips, but he doesn’t take any time to pout. Instead, he picks it right back up and tries again.
“At least there’s people here to eat something other than vegetables.” Nadya grins, shooting a playful glare at Alexei’s plate, piled high with leafy greens. He’s pointedly ignored everything else, but this is the first time she’s pointed it out.
“Not all of us can have the metabolism of a twelve-year-old boy.” He points his fork at her long, model-esque body, a playful spark in his eyes. “I don’t want to spend all my time at the gym. I have more important shit to do.”
“Language, Alexei,” she scolds, leaning back in her chair.
His eyes cut to Niko with a cringe.
“Shit. I mean, uh, shoot. Fuck, I’m sorry.” The chagrined look on his face is enough to startle a laugh out of me. Alexei’s too intimidating and serious to pull off remorse, but I might as well enjoy his attempt.
“It’s fine. He knows not to repeat grown-up words. Right, Niko?”
Niko nods, his grip faltering again, fork clattering against the plate.
“Shoot,” he mutters under his breath.
“You know, Nikolai, it’s fine if you need some help,” Alexei tells him soberly.
“I can do it, though.”
“I bet you can, but maybe I could get you something to sit on, and that’d give you some more leverage.
” Niko looks at him suspiciously, but eventually relents with a huff.
Alexei stands, and when he leaves the room, it takes all of half a second before Niko’s out of his seat and following after him.
Nadya’s focus shifts back to me when they round the corner, and I shift uncomfortably, keeping my eyes glued to my plate. “I know Alexei comes off as a hard-ass, but he can be alright. Sometimes, anyway.”
I’ll have to take her word for it. The only parts of Alexei I’ve ever known are him glaring at me like I’ve personally gone out of my way to piss him off.
“He’s right about a couple of things, too.
Mostly that I could use more friends.” She shrugs, looking hesitant.
“Actually, his newest club is opening on Saturday. Is there any chance I could talk you into coming with me?” She looks so hopeful, and I try to discreetly wipe my suddenly clammy hands on my thighs.
“I’d love to, I just… I’m not sure it’d be a great idea, you know?” I give a half-hearted smile, hoping that it doesn’t come across as a grimace. Based on the disappointment on her face, it doesn’t work.
The night Alexei opened his last club turned into one of the most miserable nights of my life, and even though I’d typically love to hang out and cut loose with someone like Nadya, I’m not eager for a repeat.
Finding out my husband was cheating on me, getting caught up in a shooting, and subsequently watching Daniil make sure his mistress was safe while I was all alone was enough fun. I can’t picture it going any better without his protection.
And even though none of what happened that night was my fault, Alexei’s glares and general air of disdain give me the feeling he would prefer not to see me at another one of his grand openings. Or anywhere, really, but especially not another big event.
Before she can formulate a response, Alexei comes back, a pillow in hand and Niko hot on his heels. He places it on the chair and helps him back into his seat. Niko beams at him before he redoubles his effort to attack his meal.
Thankfully, Nadya lets the subject go and the conversation shifts to less emotionally fraught topics. Nadya and Alexei banter back and forth, laughing easily and making sure to include Niko.
When Nadya chucks a dinner roll at Alexei’s head, he catches it, and I find myself smiling at their antics.
It’s nice. It’s the most fun I’ve had in ages.
It’s been longer than I want to admit since I’ve just had fun.
Even before Daniil died, everything with him had turned into a performance.
He expected me to look a certain way whenever we went out.
Stay quiet. Smile demurely. Put on a mask of ignorance and pretend I didn’t know what anyone was talking about.
It was exhausting, and I decide to accept this reprieve, no matter how brief it might end up being.
When Alexei once again excuses himself to make a few calls in his office, Nadya and Nikolai both put up a nominal fight, but Niko’s too tired to really push back, and Nadya seems resigned.
“I’ll do the dishes,” I volunteer, standing to gather the dinnerware before we even hear his office door shut behind him.