CHAPTER FIFTEEN | Ben
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ben
T he night was cool , but not nearly chilly enough to extinguish Ben’s desire for the woman currently dragging him through downtown Sunset Cove. When Holly had suggested a way to make him feel better, Ben’s mind had taken a swan dive into a pool of fantasies involving the two of them in his bed and their clothes on the floor. Holding Holly in his arms as they glided across the dance studio had felt magical, and feeling her soft curves pressed against him necessitated a quick review of every baseball stat he’d ever memorized to keep from embarrassing himself in front of a room full of strangers.
The more they danced, the tighter he held her, the jealousy that had flared in his chest at seeing Holly dancing with another man only being extinguished when she was as close as possible. Ben was no stranger to jealousy, but normally it was over people’s social skills or comfort in public spaces, but the thought of Holly, his Holly, with someone else felt like a knife to the chest.
The pain receded slightly when her original partner baled, but he wouldn’t be the last guy to notice what a bright, beautiful, caring person Holly was. They had talked about taking things slow, but it was starting to feel more like he was dragging his feet. If her reaction to his light suggestion that they make things more physical was any indication, however, Ben needed to keep going at her pace because she clearly wasn’t ready to take things further. As long as he kept getting to spend time with her, Ben was good with that.
As they continued to walk toward the pier, fingers intertwined and bodies huddled closely, Ben lost himself in the feeling of her hand in his, and simply having Holly nearby continued to feel like the best thing to happen to him. That this perpetually happy, extremely patient, and all around amazing woman saw something worthy in him constantly blew his mind. Ben was still awed by his stroke of good luck when Holly’s steps slowed to a stop in front of a brick building that had been painted an alarming shade of orange, the word Arcade displayed in big box letters.
Ben wondered if they were in the right spot and glanced down at Holly. A shy smile spread across her face as she nodded to the entrance. “We’re here.” Her tone was gleeful but filled with nervous tension. Ben looked up at the building once more before returning his gaze to hers, and his curious expression must have given her pause because her smile fell right off her face. “I know this is kind of silly, but I really thought it would cheer you up. Whenever I felt down when I was a kid, I would come here and things wouldn’t seem so bad afterward. I’ve even been here a few times as an adult for the same reason and...” she shrugged a shoulder, looking embarrassed. “Never mind.”
Ben stopped Holly from retreating both physically and emotionally by wrapping her up in arms and holding her close, squeezing her when she was looking everywhere but at him. “Eyes on me, sunshine.” When her blue eyes finally met his, Ben felt like a complete jerk. Her normally sunny features were dimmed and her expression was downcast, and he hated that he had put that expression on her face, but she had it all wrong. “I don’t think it’s silly, I was just surprised. I didn’t even know this place existed, but I’m glad it was here for you when you were down, and I’m excited to try something that has helped cheer you up in the past.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead, his heart skipping a beat as the sadness left her eyes and the brightness he was used to shined back at him again. “Now, why don’t you show me around little Holly’s happy place?”
“Okay.” Her voice was slightly less enthusiastic than normal, but still music to his ears, and he was determined to keep her talking until she was happy Holly once again.
Taking his hand, she led him into the arcade filled with the typical games you might see near a boardwalk. There was a shootout gallery, hot shot basketball, a crane game, and even the game where you try to knock down those freaky looking clowns by shooting balls at them. Holly dragged him past all of those until they were in the back where the walls were lined with vintage arcade games like Pac-Man, Tetris, and Space Invaders among others.
They came to a stop in front of an old Mortal Kombat game unit, and Holly reached into her purse, presenting him with a bag full of quarters. “For laundry and video games,” she told him with a smile. “You ready for a rematch, handsome?”
He chuckled and removed his coat before placing it on a nearby bar stool. “Oh, I was born ready, sunshine. Bring it on.”
Holly shucked her coat as well and pumped quarters into the machine. Before pressing play, she turned to him and smirked. “What do you say we make this a little more interesting?”
“What did you have in mind?” Once again, his mind went straight to something sexual. Strip video games? Ben would be down with that anytime, but remembering they were very much in a public space, he figured her mind wasn’t going to the same places his was.
For a moment he wondered if it had because her cheeks flushed an adorable shade of pink and she adjusted the collar of her dress. It seemed Holly’s thoughts weren’t always just sunny, but sultry as well. She swallowed thickly, wiping her brow with her fingertips. “Loser buys milkshakes?” she asked, her voice high and nervous.
Ben nodded with a smirk. “Sure thing, sunshine. I do have one caveat, though.”
“What’s that?” she asked breathlessly.
Leaning down near her ear so only she could hear him, Ben nuzzled against her, taking a hit of her sweet scent. “Loser buys milkshakes, but winner has to take a dare set by the loser.”
Reluctantly, Ben pulled away from her, noting the sly smile on her face and wondering exactly what she was thinking. “Deal.”
Thirty minutes and many quarters later, he and Holly were tied at ten wins each. He peeked over at her as she selected her final character. “I hope you have enough quarters in that purse to pay for my milkshake, sunshine,” he teased as he made his own selection.
“I won’t be needing them because you are the one that’s going down.” She looked at him haughtily before pressing the start button.
Holly was a fierce competitor, he would give her that, but he had more experience and had her cornered. Before he went in for the kill, however, Ben backed off, but only just enough so it didn’t look like he was letting her win. He had the perfect dare in mind and no way was he letting her have it. Holly finished him off and the game over screen popped up.
“Yes,” she shouted happily and started to dance. Holly really had very little rhythm, but the look of pure joy on her face made up for her lack of skills. “I’ll take a butterscotch milkshake with whipped cream, please.”
Ben smiled at her giddiness before leaning down and lightly brushing his lips against hers, just a brief taste to keep him going. When he pulled back, Holly’s triumphant smile had turned into one of soft satisfaction. She was stunning. “Anything you want. Just remember, you’ve got a dare to complete now.”
Her eyes narrowed as she pulled on her coat. “Just don’t make it anything involving the ocean. It’s too cold to have to go jumping in the waves right now.”
“Oh, it’s much better than that.” The two of them walked next door to Shakey’s Ice Cream Parlor, and Ben purchased her butterscotch shake and a vanilla one for himself. Holding the door open for her, he followed behind like a loyal puppy, eager to be wherever she was.
They walked toward her apartment, drinking their ice cold treats and talking about everything and nothing as they went. “I can’t believe you got vanilla. It’s so boring,” she remarked, her voice filled with humor.
Ben rolled his eyes playfully at her. “It’s not boring, it’s classic and more complex than people give it credit for. Besides, you don’t have much room to talk, ordering the same flavor as my grandpa’s favorite hard candy.” He pinched her side, smiling when she yelped. “Are you secretly an eighty-year-old man?”
Holly bumped his shoulder with hers as she laughed. “Stop. Butterscotch is the best milkshake flavor, and I will die on that hill.”
They continued walking and talking about their shared interests, though most of the time was spent just silently enjoying one another’s company, exchanging no words, only meaningful glances. It wasn’t until they reached the small alley near her apartment that Ben realized Holly had accomplished her mission. He felt much better than he had earlier, and he hadn’t had one worry or anxious thought the whole time they were together.
After tossing their empty milkshake containers, they stood next to the side door of the bakery. The temperature had dropped considerably and they had just consumed a large amount of cold liquid, so it shouldn’t have surprised him to see Holly trembling.
Ben reached over and rubbed his hands up and down her arms to warm her up. “Who drinks milkshakes in forty degree weather?”
Holly shrugged a shoulder before stepping into the warmth of his body. “It’s never too cold for milkshakes.” Wrapping her arms around his middle, she burrowed into his chest. Everything about it felt so right . It was as though from that first moment when they’d collided, she had knocked something loose in him, a desire to have more, to be more and with her, it all felt possible. “Maybe it was part of my elaborate plan to have a reason to cuddle up to you.”
Ben held her tighter, his heart swelling and pressing up against his ribs, he was that happy. Holly wasn’t the sole reason, but she had definitely been the catalyst, and he would never be able to thank her enough for what she’d given him in their short time together. Ben leaned his cheek against the soft stands of her hair.
“You never need an excuse to cuddle up to me, sunshine.” He huffed a laugh, wondering how he could possibly express just how much he enjoyed her nearness. “Hell, you don’t even have to ask permission.”
“Really?” Her eyes filled with surprise, but at the nod of his head, they filled with a mischievousness as she licked her lips. “And do I need permission to kiss you?”
Ben shook his head in the negative and moments later Holly’s lips were on his. They were soft and surprisingly warm given how cold she had been, and as he moved his tongue into her mouth and tangled it with hers, he tasted butterscotch and the sweetness that came from who she was. Their mouths danced together as beautifully as their bodies had hours earlier at the studio, and Ben didn’t ever want it to end. Pushing his hands into her dark waves, he caressed the silky tresses before tilting her head to the side, moving his mouth away from hers and trailing kisses along her cheek and down her neck until he reached the base, nipping at the slight curve there.
Holly gasped, but it quickly turned into a moan as he kissed the sting of his teeth away, continuing to nibble and suck at her soft skin until the hands clutching his shoulders squeezed so tightly, he could feel her nails through the thick fabric of his coat. As her body writhed next to his, he pressed the evidence of his arousal into her center, seeking to ease his aching as well as hers. Ben continued to grind against her, but pushed back the moment he felt her palm slap at his shoulder, as if she were tapping out of what had been the most pleasurable wrestling match of his life.
Ben took in her mussed hair, blown pupils, and heaving chest. The swells of her breasts were covered with a blush that continued all the way up to her cheeks. She looked beautiful, and Ben couldn’t wait to see what Holly looked like the morning after they finally slept together. From the slightly startled look in her eyes though, that wouldn’t be happening tonight.
“Was that too much?” he asked, suddenly anxious that he had taken things too far.
She chuckled lightly and shook her head. “Uh, no. That was really good actually. I just...” Holy leaned against the door and looked up at him sheepishly. “I guess I just kind of want to know where our relationship is headed before we go any further. I mean, we haven’t even been out on an official date.” She held up her hands. “Not that I’m not having a great time on our non-date outings. I would just like to know where we stand.” Ben smiled at her as she studied his face. “What are you smiling about?”
“My dare,” he told her nonchalantly. Now that the fog of lust had cleared from his brain, he finally remembered what he’d been hoping to ask her.
“Really? That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” She looked puzzled, and slightly offended.
Ben took her hand and held it in his. “It is, and while my mind will definitely be revisiting that kiss later, I was thinking about our bet because I was going to dare you to go out on a real date with me.” Her eyes widened, the frustration from moments ago vanishing replaced with wonder. “I really like you Holly, and I know we said we’d take things slow, but I would like to pick up the pace a little bit. If you’re okay with it.”
Before he’d even finished uttering the last sentence, Holly leapt into his arms and hugged him. “That’s more than okay with me.” Her lips brushed against his cheek as they held each other.
“Good.” Ben leaned down and kissed her lips, chastely this time because he couldn’t handle getting wound up so tightly again without some kind of release. That would have to wait until the second he got home. “I’m going to call you later this week and then we are going to go on the most amazing official date you have ever been on.”
Holly bounced happily and kissed him one last time. “I can’t wait.” She opened the door and peered at him over her shoulder, the sparkle in her blue eyes rivaling the stars above them. “Goodnight, handsome.”
“Sweet dreams, sunshine.” It was the way they ended every conversation, though it had been getting increasingly difficult to end them at all.
Ben wanted more of what they had, the speed with which he wanted it scaring him slightly. He strolled back toward the dance studio to retrieve his car, thinking about Holly the entire time and looking forward to seeing her again. Now all he had to do was come up with the perfect date to take her on. His anxiety started to creep back in, a nervous feeling settling in his belly. How on Earth was a guy who had never really been on a date supposed to plan the perfect one?
***
T hree days later, Ben still had no idea what to do with Holly on their first date. They had continued to talk and text over the phone, but when he asked for a hint of what she might like, Holly merely reiterated that spending time with him was all she needed. The sentiment was sweet, but Ben wanted to do something really special for her. He even went so far as to search the Internet for ideas, but they had already gone dancing and when he thought of a picnic on the beach, the only thing he could picture was sand in the food. It was still decently cold out anyway, and he didn’t want Holly to be uncomfortable.
The circular thought pattern his mind had fallen into over what to do was starting to annoy him. Luckily, a little bit of his frustration was being worked out at the moment as he and Henry jogged through the downtown adjacent neighborhoods, the rhythmic sound of shoes on pavement and the occasional evening birdsong their running playlist. Ben enjoyed this type of movement, especially on days like this where his anxiety was at a constant simmer beneath his skin. What if he screwed up their date? He wasn’t a romantic guy, and Holly deserved someone who could make her feel special.
Their chemistry was undeniable, and she had made him laugh and smile more than he probably had in his entire adult life, but what did he offer her in return? A dour expression and the empty promise of a night she wouldn’t forget. She wouldn’t be forgetting it all right. Ben was fairly certain her disappointment would last forever. Frustrated, he breathed in and out steadily as he and Henry rounded a small park, but his mind wouldn’t settle, so he picked up his pace a bit to try and work the anxiety from his body.
“What’s up with you tonight?” Henry asked, a little short of breath but still managing to keep pace with Ben. “You’re super quiet.”
Ben snorted at his friend stating the obvious. “What do you mean? I’m always quiet.”
That was true for the most part, though Ben was proud of the progress he had made in that department. He had opened himself up more to his best friend and his coworkers as well as lead the team meeting yesterday when their supervisor had called in sick and asked him to do it. It hadn’t been easy, and Ben had squeezed the life out of his Pac-Man stress ball the entire time, but he managed to do it. When the whole thing was over, a quick call to Holly provided him with a relaxing finish in the form of her cheery voice and congratulatory words.
Henry nodded his head in agreement. “I mean, yea, you’re always quiet, but tonight it’s like, a loud kind of quiet. Like you have a lot on your mind or something.”
Damn, the man was astute. “How the hell could you tell that?”
Henry shrugged a shoulder as he jogged. “Maybe it’s because my sisters are so good at reading people and it rubbed off on me or because I have a twin and we’re basically telepathic at times. I don’t know. All I know is that your silence is way louder than normal. So, come on. What’s up? Is it something with Holly?”
Ben’s footfalls stuttered, and he almost went down on the pavement before he managed to recover. “Why would you think that?”
Henry chuckled humorlessly. “Come on, dude. I know I told you not to pursue anything unless you were sure, but it’s not like either of you need my permission to date each other, and neither of you has been able to hide how happy you’ve been the last few weeks. You don’t have to worry about me going all big brother on you or anything.” Henry scoffed and waved a hand between them. “We both know I couldn’t kick your ass if you had one hand tied behind your back.”
Ben chuckled at the visual. Henry was no slouch, but Ben probably had at least twenty pounds of muscle on him. “Fair enough.” He jogged for another moment before slowing his pace to make conversation easier, actually enjoying talking about his feelings with a friend. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads up, though. I know you and Holly are close.”
“Eh, as long as you guys are happy, I’m good.” Henry’s words were assuring as they jogged back toward the bakery, but his expression was anything but. “You don’t seem happy right now, though.”
Grateful that Henry was merely showing concern, Ben shook his head. “I’m not unhappy.” It was quite the opposite in fact. Ben was so sublimely happy that all he could think about was how he was going to screw it up now that he’d stupidly put so much pressure on their upcoming date. “Holly and I haven’t really gone out on an actual date yet, and I kind of promised to make our first date special. Only...”
Henry had matched his even slower pace and nodded knowingly. “Only you’re not a date guy, and you think my sister has ridiculous rom-com standards that you have no way of ever meeting?”
Ben winced at Henry’s spot on assessment. “Maybe.” He scratched the back of his neck anxiously, the thought of losing something before he ever really had it undoing all the stress-relief the running had accomplished. “I just want it to be amazing for her. She’s amazing.”
The words were said more to himself than Henry, but his friend clapped his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, a smile on his face as he peered over at Ben. “Well, I’m glad to hear that you think that. As much as Holly can get on my last nerve sometimes, I love her like crazy, and I’m glad she found someone who can see her for the awesome person she is.”
“Yea, but how do I not screw up this date?” Ben frowned, his mind empty of everything other than all the ways in which it could go wrong.
Henry chuckled at Ben’s misery and for a moment, he considered tripping his friend just to get back at him. “You are way overthinking this, my guy. You could take Holly out to a fast food restaurant, buy her a kid’s meal, and finish up the date with an ice cream cone and she would think it was the best time she’s ever had as long as you treat her right.” Henry’s face turned serious. “I mean it. Is Holly a romantic person who wants flowers and candy? Maybe on occasion, but she also just wants people to be themselves, and if you’re uncomfortable with what you’re doing, she’ll pick up on that. As long as you’re having fun, she’ll have fun.”
Ben considered Henry’s advice as they continued to walk, taking a few deep breaths and enjoying the smell of spring in the air. The redbud trees were starting to blossom, their sweet scent reminding him of Holly. Each time they had been together, they hadn’t been doing anything special, but she seemed to have a good time. Her smile had lit up the entire arcade the other night, and they had done nothing more than play games and drink milkshakes. Maybe Henry was right. Ben had been spinning his wheels, thinking too hard about the whole thing, when really all he needed was to go with his gut.
As they approached the back lot of the bakery where he had parked his car, Henry nodded toward his apartment. “You want to come in and game?”
Ben looked down at his sweat soaked shirt and did a sniff test. He was definitely in need of a shower, and as much as he would like to see Holly, he thought it would be better if he just called her later. She wouldn’t be able to smell him over the phone. “Maybe another time.” He smiled wryly. “Your sister may not need flowers and candy, but I don’t think she’d appreciate my post-run cologne, either.”
Henry chuckled. “Fair point.” They bumped fists and Henry walked toward the building. “Later, man,” he called over his shoulder.
“Later.” As Ben drove home, he was grateful he’d talked to Henry about what was on his mind and that his friend didn’t seem to have a problem with his dating Holly. Of course, there were still numerous ways he could still screw things up or inadvertently hurt her, but Ben pushed those worries aside and did the best impersonation of Holly he could by focusing on the positive.