Chapter 5
Everly
As I pour myself a glass of wine, I wonder what the hell I just got myself into. Was it a mistake, agreeing to this friendship with Jake? Honestly, I’m not sure.
He wore me down. The truth is, he caught me when I wasn’t quite thinking straight. Watching him be so sweet with Birdie, it caught me off guard.
He didn’t seem at all nervous to talk to her, which surprised me. He’s a single guy in his twenties, I assume he doesn’t spend much time around children. Flirting with hot girls and taking them back to his place for all-night sex fests, sure. Swapping cat facts with a 7-year-old? Now that I didn’t see coming. But I have to give Jake credit—he definitely made an impression on Birdie. She couldn’t stop talking about him the entire car ride home.
Watching a gorgeous guy like Jake be so adorable with my daughter seemed to immediately melt whatever resistance I had built up to letting him in my life, even if it’s just as a friend. I’m beginning to think I have Jake pegged all wrong. Maybe he isn’t some young, hot, immature player. He isn’t my ex and watching him with Birdie proved that. It was kind of hot watching him with her. Damn Jake Matthews for being so sweet.
But it doesn’t matter. Birdie gets attached to people, and I can’t have her heart broken when he stops coming around. Sure, it was only an unplanned run-in, but 10 minutes is all my daughter needs to form a bond with someone. Aside from that, I also don’t need the stress and total mind fuck that comes along with dating. I’ve been down that road before and it left me broken. The overwhelming feeling of rejection is still fresh in my mind. So, for now I need to keep our circle small. I have enough on my plate without the distraction of a relationship that will only lead to disappointment in the end.
Leaving Brookmont after building a life there—going to college, getting married and having Birdie—has been the biggest and hardest decision I’ve ever made. It’s one that I never saw coming.
Prior to that, Grant had announced that he was relocating to North Carolina for work. For an entire year. When I got upset and told him I was worried how it would affect Birdie, he grumbled that she’d get over it. Then he told me I needed to get over it too. That was finally it for me, the last straw. I began looking for apartments in Reed Point the next day.
Even after our split, I stayed living in the house with Grant. I divorced my husband, but I never moved out. Instead, I moved to another wing, so I didn’t have to see him. It was the last place I wanted to be, but my only focus was Birdie. It was hard enough that her parents were breaking up, I wanted there to be as little disruption to her life as possible. And I didn’t want her relationship with her dad to suffer.
But here was Grant, moving four states away without even a discussion. Without a second thought about our daughter.
That’s when I decided to finally take my mom’s advice and move back to Reed Point. Grant said he didn’t care what I did when he was gone, so I put the move in motion. I found the little apartment, enrolled Birdie in summer school to keep her busy, got a job. We were finally getting settled when Grant called a couple of months later and told me his plans had changed and he was returning to Brookmont early. He didn’t offer any more explanation than that, but of course he expected Birdie and I to come running back too. I tried to explain that it wasn’t that easy—I signed a one-year lease, and Birdie had made new friends and was excited about school. When Grant realized that I wasn’t going to come back just because he told me to, he cut me off financially before I had even gotten the last box unpacked.That didn’t shock me. He could throw a fit bigger than Birdie. As it turns out, there’s nothing he wants more than the thing he can’t have. It”s been years since he has shown either Birdie or me this much attention.
Grant rarely showed any interest in our daughter when we werea family. He regularly skipped dance recitals for late night meetings at the office and traded bedtime stories for drinks at the country club, but all of a sudden, he seems to have remembered that he’s a father.
At first it was text messages asking us to come home, trying to persuade me to return to Brookmont. When that didn’t work, the pleading turned to outrage. He left voicemail after voicemail demanding that I terminate my lease and accused me of having a boyfriend. I didn’t, but the fact that he could bring that up after all his years of cheating and all of the countless women he’s hooked up with since our split blew my mind. He threatened to sue me for full custody of Birdie and warned me that he’d spend every cent he has to force me to come back home.
Home? What home? I didn’t have one.
Eventually, I will go back to Brookmont, but for now I need space.
I take my wine to my couch and sit with my feet tucked underneath me, looking around the tiny apartment that I rented sight unseen. It’s not perfect, but it’s the nicest space I could find on short notice.
The living room has a big window that looks out on the park across the street, with a playground that Birdie loves. A coffee table sits in front of the couch, piled with my romance books and a vase of flowers that makes the room look a little more lived in. The walls are a pale grey, and I’ve hung a few of my favorite photos of Birdie. The kitchen is small, but clean. There’s a dishwasher, a small pantry, and white cabinets with only a few noticeable nicks and scratches. It’s homey, and comfortable. Mostly, I love it because it is ours.
Settling back into the worn couch cushions, I pick up my phone to check the time and notice an unread text from Jake.
My stupid heart skips. Don’t be silly, I tell myself. I don’t even know him. But I swipe the phone to life so fast you would think it caught fire.
Jake: Just a friendly text. Don’t go overthinking this. :) It was good to see you tonight.
I read the message at least 20 more times, not sure how to respond. I need to be careful he doesn’t get the wrong idea. Friends is all we can be and even that feels reckless. So, I like the text and close out the screen before I’m tempted to write something back.
I’m sure Jake is a great guy, but I’m not about to put my heart, or Birdie’s, on the line to find out.
JAKE
I follow Grayson,Holden, Tucker, and our buddy Beckett to a booth in the corner of our favorite Mexican restaurant, Cocina Caliente. We’re all wiped after a killer ride today, not to mention starving. The conditions were perfect for a downhill banger, and we spent longer on the trails than we had planned. If I had my way, I’d be out riding every day, but with Gran’s move coming up this weekend and being down a few guys at work, I’ve been busy.
We all slide into the booth, which feels way too fucking small for five big dudes. Our waitress stops by our table, and we immediately put in our orders: burgers and fries all around, and Tuck orders an extra side of fried pickles because the man is a human garbage disposal. It’s gross.
“Stop rubbing your thigh against mine, Gray, you’re not my type,” Tucker grumbles, trying to take up more space in the packed booth.
“You wish, buddy,” Gray says. “You want a thigh rub, I think Holden’s your guy. Right, Holdey?”
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Holden groans.
“An idiot who’s starving. I worked up an appetite out there.” Grayson rubs his stomach. “I was feeling good on the bike today. Grandpa Jake, on the other hand, was slowing us down. Hell, I saw a 10-year-old peddling harder than Matthews.”
“Fuck off,” I grumble.
“What’s with your grumpy ass today?” Grayson asks, struggling to take off his jacket.
“Your face,” I grumble.
Holden cracks up. “That the best you can come up with? You seem hangry, Jakey. Do you want me to ask the waitress to bring you a little snack plate? Maybe a glass of warm milk?”
“Would you guys fuck off already? Shit.”
Thankfully, our waitress doesn’t take long. She’s soon back with our orders, and we all dig in as soon as she sets the plates down on the table.
Beckett looks at me in between bites. “Seriously, man, is everything okay? You seem stressed. Burgers with the boys is not the place for mopers.”
“I’m fine,” I reply.
“You’re not acting like it,” Grayson chimes in. “You’ve barely said 10 words all day and you’ve had your face in that fucking phone. Does this have something to do with the girl at the beach? Whatever happened with that? Did you make a move?”
I inhale a long, hard breath. It’s been four days since I ran into Everly and Birdie at the ice cream place, and I haven’t heard from her since. I sent her a text, which she didn’t respond to—a like doesn’t count in my books, that’s code for, “I don’t want to talk to you, but I’m being polite about it.” It feels like Everly is making it crystal clear that she is not interested in even a friendshipwith me.
“Yeah, we talked. Then I ran into her a few days ago, and she shut me down. She has a kid. She told me she needs to focus on her.”
“Woah, Daddy Jake” Tucker says, shoving a French fry in his mouth. “I didn’t see that one coming.”
“You can take it easy with the Daddy stuff,” I say, holding my hands up. ”I’ve talked to her twice.”
I consider telling them that Everly is several years older than me but decide against it. I can imagine what the guys would have to say about that. It doesn’t matter to me anyways. I don’t give a shit that she’s older. I just really wish she would get in touch. Maybe I blew it. Maybe I’ll never hear from her. It’s fucking messing with my mind.
“I’ll tell you what I think you should do,” Tucker says, leaning over the table.
“Oh, hell no,” Holden interrupts. “Literally nobody should take dating advice from you.”
“Hear me out,” Tuck says, wiping his hands with a napkin. “You know where she works, yeah? So, you go in for dinner, make sure you’re sitting in her section and when you leave, you give her a big, fat tip and leave her a note.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Okay, Tuck. Humor me… what should I write in this note?”
“I can’t wait to hear this,” Holden laughs, tapping his hands against the table like a drumroll. “Let’s go.”
“It’s simple, dummies. You tell her you can’t stop thinking about her, and then you ask her out on a date.”
“So,are there boxes on this note? Is she supposed to check yes or no like she’s a fucking middle schooler?” Holden asks. “Man, girls our age do not want notes. They want you to tell them every filthy way you can make them come. You are the wrong person to be giving our boy advice.”
“Don’t be so sure about that,” Tuck says, dipping his deep-fried pickle in ketchup. “I bet I get more ass than any of you.”
“Well, you’re definitely getting more ass than Matthews, I’ll give you that. We all are. Hell, I bet that guy is,” Grayson says, nodding at a man across the room who looks to be around 80 years old.
“Why do you gotta be a dick?” I grumble. “Can I just eat in peace? I’m starving.”
“What’s going on with you and Aubrey?” Beckett asks Holden, and I’m happy about the change of topic. Holden has been dating Aubrey for months now, which is kind of surprising. In all the years I’ve known him, this is the first time I’ve seen him be serious about a girl. Aubrey seems nice enough, but if you ask me, she’s not as into the relationship as Holden is. I get the feeling she’s in it for a good time, not necessarily a long time. But Holden seems happy with her, so what do I know?
“We’re solid,” he tells Beckett. “Aubrey is great.”
“Sounds like you’re falling in love,” Grayson says, taking a sip of his Coke.
I hold back a laugh. Grayson wouldn’t know a damn thing about falling in love. Not that I should talk. None of us have much experience with relationships. Of the five of us sitting at this table, only Beckett seems to have figured it out—he married his wife Jules last year and couldn’t be happier.
As for me, my only real relationship was with a girl named Jade. We were together for two years before she dumped me and moved to a different country. So yeah, not exactly an expert when it comes to love.
“Calm the fuck down,” Holden protests. “No one is falling in love. She’s a cool chick. We’re taking things slow.”
“Bullshit. You’ve practically moved in with her,” Tucker says. “I think you’ve slept at the house maybe once in the last three weeks. Whether you’re ready to admit it or not, you’re fucking whipped over the girl.”
Tuck would know. He and Holden have been roommates for years, living in a place on Haven Harbor next door to my Gran’s house. Out of all of us, the two of them are the closest, probably because they are the most alike. You wouldn’t know it by looking at them—Holden is a pretty-boy, all-American type, while Tucker has an edgier look with his tattoos and longer hair. But they’re both always up for a good time, they’re both baseball fanatics and they both like to play the field. Literally and figuratively.
“I like living with her more than I like living with your ass, that’s all,” Holden deadpans, tossing his napkin on his empty plate. “She’s not a slob.”
Tuck shrugs. “Sure, buddy. If that’s what you need to tell yourself.”
We pay our bills and head outside, and I take the opportunity to check my phone again, hoping there might be a text from Everly. There’s not. It’s driving me crazy that we haven’t talked. Do I send her another message? I don’t want to push her or come off like some crazy stalker, but at the same time I need her to know I’m interested.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I fire off another text to the girl I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. Suddenly, Tuck appears beside me, looking over my shoulder.
“Ever hear of fucking privacy?” I ask, trying to shield my phone from him.
“Everly,” he coos. “Is that her? Beach girl?”
“Would you mind your own business?” I tell him, tucking my phone back in my pocket.
“It is beach girl! You making plans with her? Is that why your grumpy ass was in such a rush to get out of here?”
“I’m not fucking grumpy. And it’s none of your business. Leave it.”
“Wait. I thought you said she turned you down?”
“She did.” I clear my throat. “But I convinced her we could be friends.”
I can tell by the look on Tucker’s face that he’s loving it. His eyes widen and his mouth forms the shape of an “O.” Then the fucker laughs. “Friends? Oh, shit.”
“Yup, something like that.”