Chapter 16
Everly
I open the door and immediately notice the worry in Jake’s eyes. My eyes track down the length of him to his low-slung joggers and fitted gray T-shirt. His hair is damp, and he smells like soap and clean laundry. Tension emanates from him.
I’m sure he’s mad at me for ghosting him lately, and I guess I don’t blame him. I freaked out. I needed space to sort out my feelings. Ever since that kiss I’ve been a mess of emotions, one minute angry at the way my life has turned out, and the next minute feeling like I’m seriously falling for this guy. This much younger guy. This guy who isn’t Birdie’s dad.
I think of the way Jake carried my baby girl to her bed the night she broke her arm, and of all the nights he has spent waiting outside Catch 21 just so I don’t have to walk home alone.
“I’m sorry, Jake. After everything you did for us… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shut you out.”
He stares at me for a beat, combing his hand through his hair, giving me the same look that he gives me when he’s trying to be sweet. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I knew the rule and I ignored it anyways.”
My throat feels tight, and my voice breaks. “There’s nothing you should feel sorry for.” I stare at him for several heart beats, before inhaling a breath. “I liked the kiss. I didn’t want you to stop.”
My admission hangs in the air between us like a heavy fog. There’s a nervousness in Jake’s eyes that wasn’t there when he walked in. He is quiet for a moment, and I can sense that he’s contemplating the meaning behind what I’ve just said. Jake’s eyes are glued to mine, and suddenly it seems ridiculous that I ever thought I could fight this pull between us.
“I got scared. I’m sorry, Jake. I told myself we could only be friends, that was the plan. But… I like you. I like you so much more than I ever expected to.”
Jake reaches for me, his hand brushing my cheek, sending an electric current right through me to my core. “It’s okay, Ev. I feel the exact same way. We’re feeling the same things. Stop overthinking it.”
Stop overthinking it? I know he’s right, but it’s not that easy.
“I love being around you,” he continues. “And I love being with Birdie too. And when I’m not around you, I’m thinking about you. You’re in my head, Everly.”
“You’re in my head too. I’ve tried to stop thinking about you, but you make it so hard.”
He chuckles. “I’m not going to touch that.”
I shake my head at him. His smile, his eyes, the way he’s looking at me… it all feels like too much. In a perfect world, there would be no thinking twice. Jake and I would jump in with both feet. But I can’t forget that there is so much at stake.
“What are you thinking about, Ev?”
How do I answer the question truthfully? I’ve tried to fight the feelings I have for Jake for weeks, but my resolve has slipped away. I’ve been scared to allow myself to fall for him, but more than that, I’m scared my daughter already has. She has to be my number one priority. I can’t run the risk of having her heart broken.
“You know what I’m dealing with, Jake. You’ve seen it firsthand. There isn’t a lot of room in my life for love. My life is a mess right now. I don’t even know how long I’m staying in Reed Point. And then there’s Birdie. She gets attached to people… I’m pretty sure she already is attached to you.”
“I wouldn’t be asking you for a chance if I wasn’t falling for Birdie too. I swear to you. I know you two are a package deal.” He takes a small step towards me, closing the space between us. “We don’t have to put a label on it. We can take things slow… for as long as you want. But I can’t fight this with you anymore. It’s driving me crazy.”
“What do you want from me, Jake?” I need to know exactly what he’s thinking. Am I a one-night stand? Is he looking for a relationship? Does he understand that Birdie is my first priority? “Tell me exactly what you want. I need you to be clear.”
“I want to be with you. Just you. We don’t need the label, but I do want it to be just us.” He pauses. “If we do this, there’s no one else.”
My breath hitches. I want all of that too.
If I knew this was going to work.
If I knew he wouldn’t hurt me.
I swallow the knot in my throat as he takes one more step closer, his hands reaching up to my cup face.
“I promise you I’m not going to hurt you or Birdie. Give this a chance. I want to get to know you both better.” Jake’s thumb runs over the edge of my jaw, and I close my eyes, leaning into the touch. His other hand finds the curve of my hip, walking me backwards until he has me backed up against the door.
“What’s stopping you from letting me in, Ev?”
He gently tips my chin to look at him and dips his face, so his mouth is inches from mine. I want him to kiss me. I want to tell him that I’ve thought about that kiss every minute of every day. The way it made me feel. The way he made me feel.
My breath hitches in my throat. “I don’t want to get hurt again. And I don’t even know how long we’ll be in Reed Point. And there’s Birdie. You’re so much younger than me, Jake. We are in such different places in our lives.”
“You don’t need to be scared. I’m not interested in anyone but you. But say everything you need to say now, Ev. Ask me every question you need an answer to, because once I start kissing you, I’m not going to be able to stop.”
I swallow hard at his words then draw a deep breath. “Why, Jake? Why me? When you can have any twenty-something-year-old you want.”
Jake’s fingers tighten on my hip as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with his other hand. “You say that like you’re not the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. In my life. You make me hard every time you come near me. I don’t give a fuck about our age gap. I don’t want anyone but you, Ev. You’re beautiful, smart, sexy as hell and my heart stopped fucking beating in my chest when I saw you for the first time. And I know you feel this pull between us like I do. It’s not easy to find that with someone. I want you to admit you feel it too.”
His words send goosebumps over my skin because he’s right. I’ve never felt a connection like this. We’re standing close enough that I can feel his chest expand against mine, and I swear I can feel his heartbeat through his t-shirt. But taking things further with him continues to make me nervous. “What if we’re better off as friends? I don’t want to ruin something good.”
He lowers his gaze to mine, and his hand moves slowly to my lower back. He pulls my hips into his. “We both want more than just friends. Give this a shot. I know you want to.”
Jake leans back a few inches, his eyes never leaving mine, searching for my answer.
I’m confused about so many things, but the one thing I know for sure is that I want him too. This desire inside of me threatens to unravel me.
Needing to touch him, my hands glide up to his chest to rest on the hard muscles of his pecs. He feels so good, but my body aches for more.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he breathes. “I know you’re afraid, but I promise you, you don’t need to be. And I’m just as nervous as you.”
I look at him, surprised. “I make you nervous?”
He laughs softly. “I don’t think you understand how nervous you make me. It’s like I forget how to think when I’m around you.”
I smile at him, taken aback by his confession. Just hearing him admit that I make him nervous makes me feel calmer. I am suddenly hyper-aware of Jake’s proximity. Lust and need begin to override my fears, and I feel an overwhelming urge to give in and kiss him. His gaze pins me to the door, the hand on my lower back tightening as my body responds to him like it always does.
I’m falling.
Jake’s eyes focus on mine, a deep, vibrant green. Heat expands through my center when he studies my lips reminding me there is definitely no shortage of chemistry between us. His fingertips ghost down the delicate skin at the back of my neck, making me arch into his touch. I swear I hear myself whimper. There’s a pulse between my legs that throbs.
Jake moves closer. “Is Birdie in her room?”
“She’s staying with my parents tonight.”
There’s a beat of silence. I draw in a breath, and goosebumps spread across my skin. Adrenaline spikes through me to my core. With every second he searches my gaze, my resolve crumbles a little more until I’m… done.
“When are you going to kiss me?”
Jake eye’s flare. Dammit, will I ever get used to the intense way this man stares at me. He glances at my mouth, as he runs a hand to my throat. In what feels like tortured slow motion, he tilts my head so his mouth is inches from mine, so close I can feel his breath on me.
“Kiss me again, Jake. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss,” I plead. He pulls back slightly with a teasing smile before the hand that is wrapped around my throat glides to the nape of my neck, and he finally gives me what I’ve been aching for.
His mouth crashes against mine in demanding, needy kisses, and my lips open in eager desperation. This kiss is what I’ve been dreaming about, waiting for. Lust consumes me. His hand tightens on the back of my neck, holding my mouth firmly to his as I open for him, allowing his tongue to sweep inside. Stroke by perfect stroke, his tongue teases mine, kissing me like he’s just as desperate as I am for this. As if I’m all he’s ever wanted.
Holding my body tight to his, he consumes my mouth, hungry for my kisses, his hand in my hair. I sigh against his lips, and he swallows the sound, my skin flickering to life like fireflies on a summer night. My body hums as Jake deepens the kiss.
He surprises me when he nips my bottom lip with his teeth. I whimper, loving the way he makes me feel. Jake is in control; he’s taking what he wants. He’s rough, and that’s something I’ve been craving for a very long time. Almost as if he can hear my lust-filled thoughts, Jake takes hold of the roots of my hair, tugging the strands. I whimper at the mix of pleasure and pain, hoping this is just the start of so much more to come. Desire floods my veins; my nipples tighten and I’m breathless when he rolls his pelvis into me and I feel the hard outline of his erection pressing against my most sensitive spot.
“Do you believe me now?” he asks, his voice low and rough. My hips roll over the length of his hard on, making me want him more than I thought was possible. I want him naked. I want his skin against my skin.
I nod because it’s all I’m capable of. My nerves are short-circuiting, and any restraint I showed when Jake knocked at my door is long gone.
My skin erupts in tingles when Jake sweeps my hair over my shoulder and sucks on my neck. His mouth is warm and wet, and it feels so good. I roll my hips over his stiff cock again, back and forth, over and over, chasing the friction I’m so needy for. I’m already so close, but it’s not enough. I need more.
“You are going to ruin me.” He murmurs.
“And I will be destroyed.”
I am never going to forget tonight. Never, as long as I live. Men like Jake are the reason romance books are written. It’s moments like this where two people give in to their every want and desire without caring about the consequences.
“You make me so fucking hard. Feel what you do to me.” A moan escapes my lips as I grind over his length. I feel dizzy in the best way, limbs trembling, so close to coming and we haven’t even taken off our clothes yet. I’m dangerously close to going over the edge when his lips brush across my jaw line, stopping at my ear, and he whispers in a breathy voice, “I want to strip you naked, Ev, and fuck you with my tongue.”
I am already imagining it, vibrating from the inside out at his filthy words. I had a feeling I’d like to be dirty talked. I was pretty sure it would turn me on, and I can confirm that yes, I have a new kink. I’ll be putty in his hands if he tells me that I’m a good girl.
Jake wraps a strong arm around my thighs, and without warning, lifts me over his shoulder. I gasp at the loss of friction between my thighs. “Jake!” I squeal, smacking his back, all plains of hard muscle.
“I told you what I’m going to do to you,” he says as he carries me down the hall. “And I want to see you splayed out on your bed, legs spread wide while I feast on you.”
Jake tosses me on my mattress, and I look up to see him standing at the foot of my bed with the hem of his T-shirt in his hands. His dark eyes linger on me as I slowly inch towards the headboard, leaning against the mound of pillows, waiting to watch him strip. Will he take everything off or just his shirt? Either way, I’m ready for the show, my tongue wetting my bottom lip. Jake’s eyes travel over the wetness on my lip before he lifts his T-shirt over his head.
Jake is all taut muscles and golden skin, and I don’t know where to look first—his broad shoulders, his six-pack that tapers into a delicious V between his hips, or the black ink covering his upper arm and part of his chest. The mystery of his tattoos is finally revealed. I take them in, lingering on the most striking one: a large clock with roman numerals. Jake is all muscle and golden skin.
I can’t stop staring at a shirtless Jake Matthews.
“Tell me you want this,” he says in a strong, low voice, eyes roaming over me like he’s a man who knows what he wants. “I want to hear you say it. Tell me that it’s me that you want.”
Leaning up on my forearms, I murmur a breathy yes, then say the words that will change everything. “I want you to make me yours.”
“Mine.” He says, crawling onto the bed until he’s hovering over top of me, his arms braced on either side of my shoulders. His hand slides over my abdomen to my chest, pinching my nipple through the thin fabric of my tank top while he kisses me. My skin erupts in white-hot heat, already addicted to his touch.
“You like it when I touch you, don’t you?” My head tips back with a needy moan when his lips suck on my throat. “Like right here… kiss… and here, when I play with your tits... kiss.” He pinches my nipple again through my T-shirt. “How about if I kissed you here?” His hand slides between my legs, over my jeans. “Would you like it if I put my face between your thighs?”
It is sensory overload. I widen my legs and angle my pelvis up to make room for him between my thighs. His tongue expertly sweeps inside my mouth as his hand roughly massages my chest. He continues to taunt me with his erection, grinding it into my wet center. Arousal flames through my body, straight to my core.
He breaks the kiss to slip my tank top over my head, smirking when he realizes I’m not wearing a bra. “Fuck, you are perfect,” he says before sliding lower down my body, dragging his fingers down my throat to the center of my chest before taking a nipple into his mouth. “I want to play with these gorgeous tits while I go down on you.”
I breathe out hard, grabbing his hair, needing something to hold on to. “I bet you’re wet for me,” Jake says in a voice laced with desire. “I bet you’re soaked.”
He isn’t wrong. I’ve been sexually deprived for so long, it’s not surprising I am drenched. I gasp when he flicks his tongue in an agonizing rhythm over my nipple, teasing the stiff peak until I’m writhing underneath him.
My God, this man’s tongue. I can’t imagine what he’s going to do with it when he moves further down. With one last flick of my nipple, he kisses me chastely then moves down the length of my body, his big hands massaging and grabbing as he goes, handling my worked-up body like an expert. My head falls back against the pillow, savoring every touch. I want his hands everywhere. I want to be able to tell him what I want, what I need, what feels good. And it feels like I can ask for all of that with Jake without judgement.
I’m trembling in anticipation as he leans back on his knees between my legs and reaches for the zipper of my jeans. He unzips me, slides the denim down my legs, and tosses them to the floor, leaving me in only my black lace thong.
“Grip the bed sheets tight,” he instructs, and I do what I’m told, fisting the fabric in my hands. “I’m going to lick you until you’re trembling and begging me to stop.”
Jake pulls the lace down my thighs, his inked arm flexing, a tattoo of a staircase winding around his smooth, golden skin like ivy. Then he licks a path up my thigh and presses a kiss to my center, where I’m already slick and needing him the most. My whole body goes up in flames when he licks a long, hungry line through my folds, his hands firmly holding my thighs open. He devours me, ravenously taking care of my needs.
I moan and whimper as he consumes me with his tongue, licking and sucking while I rock my hips over his face, back and forth, again and again. I move, desperately chasing my release. “More,” I beg when he pauses with an intoxicated grin and runs the scruff of his jaw against my thigh before devouring me again. Edging me. Then eating me like I’m the best thing he’s ever tasted.
I’m helpless, losing control. And growing wetter by the second. “Don’t stop. I’m almost…”
I grip the sheets tighter as Jake inserts two fingers inside of me while sucking me with relentless, greedy moans. And then I’m breaking apart, a kaleidoscope of colors and bright lights rippling through me, heart pounding, body trembling, crying out, my body clenched around him.
I inhale a breath as Jake sits up, pulling my mouth to his in a slow, lingering kiss. His gaze is heated when he pulls away. “So fucking beautiful.”
A lazy smile drifts across my lips as he guides his cock between my thighs, teasing my entrance. Jake’s dick is hard and heavy. One hand is gripped tight around the base while the other shuttles up and down his shaft to the head, where he squeezes out a drop of liquid arousal.
My eager lips part and I open up my mouth to him. I stick out my tongue watching him swipe his arousal from the tip then I suck his finger into my mouth.
“So fucking hot,” he says, leaning down to kiss me. His eyes an even darker green than normal. “I’m going to make you come again. But this time on my cock.”
I’m dizzy from his filthy words. I’m drowning in blissful agony, waiting to see what he does next.
Jake grabs his wallet from his sweatpants, fishes out a condom and then returns to kneel between my thighs. He covers himself as his gaze coasts down to where I’m spread open for him. “So fucking pretty, and look at how wet you are for me.”
He presses a finger into my arousal before lining himself up. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”
“Please don’t.”
“Thank god,” he says, sinking in. He pushes in slowly, but confidently, and I moan as he stretches me in the best way possible until he’s all the way in.
“Look at you, taking every inch of me like a good fucking girl,” he praises, and I’m already on the edge of coming again. This man and the things he says. This is what I’ve been craving. This is what I’ve been fantasizing about. A man who wants to please me in bed, who whispers the filthiest things in my ear as he fucks me. I’ve never been this turned on in my life. I feel like I’m holding on for dear life. I want to be Jake’s good girl. So. Damn. Much.
He angles himself even deeper as he plays with my tits. I’m moaning, back arching, watching his abs flex with every thrust of his pelvis. His dark eyes are fixed on me, my hands gripping the muscle of his thighs. He groans. I shudder. A moan escapes my lips when he pinches one of my nipples, my body turning to liquid.
“Look at me, Ev. Eyes on me, baby.”
I gaze into his eyes as his thrusts come quicker, causing every nerve ending in my body to ignite. His head falls back, a desperate moan escaping his lips, and I squeeze around him as he drives in and out of me in a quick, punishing pace. I can feel the size of him—Jake is big— but his size stretches me and strokes me at a perfect angle, owning my pleasure like he was made to please me.
My body starts to tremble when his finger works the sensitive spot between my legs in sweet circles. He doesn’t stop. Jake slides into me, in and out, as his finger works me at a relentless pace. With every thrust, I am lost in the feeling, in the sounds our bodies make as they come together. And that is all it takes. I’m crying out his name, coming around his cock, and it’s even better this time.
“Fuck.” Jake’s voice comes out in a growl. A groan shudders through him, and his abs tighten. His body goes rigid as he loses all control, filling the condom inside of me. His fingers tighten around my legs as he keeps pumping his hips through his release, taking everything he can. When his body stops shaking, he collapses on my chest, skin slick, our bodies still joined. He softly kisses my neck, and then his big arms wrap around me, holding me tight. We stay like this for several minutes before he finally lets me go.
“Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” Jake walks into my bathroom giving me the best view of his ass. When he crawls back into bed after taking care of the condom and flicking off the light, he lies on his side, and I curl into him.
“You were worth waiting for,” he whispers into my hair before gently pressing a kiss to the edge of my forehead.
I nuzzle in closer, placing my hand on his chest. We’re wrapped up in each other’s arms, in a tangled mess of naked limbs and bedsheets. My eyes grow heavy as I drift off to sleep.