Chapter 19
Jake
I’m in Gran’s room at her assisted facility home watching her blow out her birthday candles. Sierra and Grayson are here too, and while I was nervous as hell to finally talk to them, I did, and I think we’re good. It took Gran’s birthday party for the three of us to be in the same room together. After stewing on their sneaking around for a good couple of weeks, I’m ready to move on. It also helps seeing my sister happy. And if she believes Grayson is the guy that makes her feel that way, then I won’t stand in the way. But if he hurts her— and I will make sure he knows this—I will personally see to it that he never walks again.
Sierra dishes out slices of the bright yellow birthday cake that she made for Gran, and we all sit around the coffee table. The cake tastes as good as it looks. It makes me happy that Sierra didn’t lose her passion for baking after our mom died. It’s sort of like having a piece of her with us. One day, we may have to share Si’s talents with the whole town. She’s hoping to have a bakery of her own in Reed Point.
Now that we’re talking again my sister doesn’t waste a minute—we’ve barely sat down before she’s peppering me with questions about Everly.
“C’mon Jake. When can I meet her? You’ve been seeing each other for months now. It’s my right as your sister to meet the girl who has you all lit up.”
“First off,” I shoot her a pointed stare. “I don’t remember it going down that way when you two started sneaking around.” I flick my fork between Grayson and her.
“Fine, I deserve that,” she says. “But it would be really nice to meet her. I’d love to meet her daughter too.”
I’ve told both Sierra and Gran a little about Everly and Birdie, but I haven’t opened up a lot. It wasn’t all that long ago that even a cup of coffee with Ev seemed like a pipe dream, so I guess I haven’t wanted to jinx things. I also feel this need to protect the two of them after everything they’ve been through.
I still find it so fucked up that her ex is such a deadbeat dad to Birdie. I will never be able to understand how he can go months without seeing her. Birdie is the coolest kid I’ve ever met. I meant it when I told Ev that I want to be a part of both of their lives. I love spending time with them—watching movies together, cooking breakfast in the morning. When I’m with them, it feels like we’re making memories. Part of me feels like my childhood was cut short the night my parents died. Sure, my grandparents were the best pseudo-parents a boy could ask for, but they weren’t my mom and dad. Everly does an incredible job making sure Birdie feels loved and wanted. If she’s willing to let me be a part of building a happy life for her daughter, I’m in.
Gran catches my eye and winks at me. “She must be something special for you to be so head over heels for her.”
“Who says I’m head over heels?”
Is it really that obvious?
“You are mad about this girl,” Gran scoffs. “I know when my grand-baby is in love. It’s written all over your face.”
I shake my head. I hate feeling vulnerable around people, it makes me feel antsy. I know that I have very strong feelings for Ev. Hell, she’s all I think about, day in and day out. I want to be with her every chance I can get. I’m definitely falling for this girl. But am I in love with Everly?
“I’m not getting any younger and I’d like to be able to tell Angie that I have more great grandchildren than she does,” Gran says, rolling her eyes. Angie lives down the hall, and she and Gran seem to be in constant competition about practically everything. “She rubs it in my face every chance she gets. I don’t know why she has to be so competitive.”
Grayson, Sierra, and I all look at each other and laugh. Gran is the most competitive woman on the planet. She once ate an entire raw jalapeno just because Tucker made the mistake of saying he didn’t think she could. He lost $50 on that one.
“Your Gran is right,” Grayson says. “You have this vibe thing going on, man. Like you have a happy aura around you.”
“What the f—fudgsicles are you talking about?” I ask, catching myself in time. “What the hell does an aura even look like?”
“Don’t worry, it’s a good look on you. Your energy is way less grumpy.”
Grayson is not picking up on my deep desire for this conversation to end. If Gran wasn’t in the room, I’d have kneed him in the balls by now.
“You should bring her around,” Grayson continues with a grin, clearly enjoying this. “We want to meet the girl who has you all gaga.”
“You can be an idiot sometimes. Are you sure you know what you’re doing with this guy, Si?” I toss a look at my sister, who’s giggling at the two of us bantering.
Sierra smiles, looking adoringly at Grayson. He kisses the tip of her nose and it’s enough to make me lose my appetite. “Think about it, Jake,” she tells me. “We’d all like to meet your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend yet,” I say before putting my empty plate on the coffee table.
“Semantics,” Gray says. “It’s just a matter of time.
I lean back into the couch, hands clasped behind my head, gaze pointed to the ceiling. He’s right: it is semantics. We just haven’t formally put a label on our relationship.
I intend to fix that.
EVERLY
The knockat my door surprises me. Jake is at work and Franny is visiting a friend this morning, she messaged me earlier to let me know. I can’t think of anyone else who would pop by unannounced.
I reluctantly open the door to find a box with my name on it sitting on my doorstep. I pick up the package and bring it inside, setting it on the counter.
“Who was that, Mommy?” Birdie calls from the living room. “Is Jake here?”
“No, baby. It wasn’t Jake. It was a package. Can you grab me the scissors to open it?”
She bounds over to the drawer and then carefully passes me the pair of scissors. Sliding their edge along the packing tape, I open the cardboard flaps of the box. Birdie watches from the stool she climbed up on. “What is it? Open it.”
I lift the brown packing paper from the top to find a beautifully wrapped gift topped with a pink bow. A smile tugs at my lips when I slip the ribbon and tissue paper off the gift. The book.
It’s the romance novel by Emily Silver that I showed Jake the day he took me to breakfast. There’s also a note inside.
Wanted you to be one of the first to read it, Jake xo.
Blinking back the blur in my eyes, I read the card again. I can’t believe he remembered.
“What is it, Mommy?” Birdie looks at me with a curious stare. “You look like you are so happy you could cry.”
“Aw, my sweetheart,” I say leaning over the counter towards her, bopping her little nose. “It’s a book I wanted. It’s from Jake. Isn’t that thoughtful?”
“I like Jake,” she says with warmth in her eyes. “He makes you happy.”
“He does,” I agree. “And so do you.”
Thatis what I want, I realize. For Birdie to see me truly happy with someone who treats me right. I’ve always worried about who I want to include in her life. After Grant, dating seemed a long way off, but just the thought of it made me nervous because it’s not just me I have to think about. It’s Birdie, too. But ultimately, I want her to know happiness, to be surrounded by joy and live in a house where two people adore one another. It’s not hard for me to imagine that with Jake.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Jake is still in his 20s. Would he even want to get married, to have kids? Is that even on his radar? I’ve thought about this at length, and I know without a doubt I want to give Birdie a sister or a brother. Maybe two. Which means my clock is ticking.
It might be too soon to be having these kinds of conversations with Jake, but if we aren’t on the same page, there’s no point in taking things further. We’d just be wasting both of our time. I decide I need to talk to Jake about all of this, and the sooner the better. But for now, I will just allow myself to enjoy this moment.
I flip through the pages of my new book before grabbing my phone from the counter to snap a selfie. I send Jake the picture of me with the book clutched to my chest.
Everly: I got the book you sent. That was so thoughtful, I’m speechless. I’m also very excited to read it. Thank you, Jake.
My phone chimes with a reply a few minutes later.
Jake: I’m glad you like it. I was pretty positive you would.
Everly: It was sweet. You are very charming.
Jake: Only for you.
I grin. If someone had told me a few months ago that I would be messaging with a guy seven years younger than me, I’d have laughed.
Everly: My Lover Boy.
Jake: Maybe we can read the steamy parts together.
Everly: We’ll see. Thank you again. The sweetest gift I’ve ever been given.
Jake: I’m happy you love it. Are we still on for shopping tonight?
He adds a bicycle emoji to the end of the sentence. Jake offered to help me shop for a bike for Birdie for her birthday. The subject came up when I was lying in bed after the hottest FaceTime of my life. I’ve never done anything like that. I’m the girl who has never sent a nude. I still blush every time I think about what we did. It surprises me how fully in the moment I was. How I didn’t hold back and did everything he asked of me. And the crazy thing? I loved it.
I loved watching how Jake stroked himself and how turned on I made him as he watched me. Every so often since then, I’ll find myself zoning out, replaying the night in my head. I loved the way it felt to do something so out of my comfort zone, so naughty. I”m hoping we can do it again soon.
Everly: We are. Franny is going to watch Birdie.
Jake: Tell her not to wait up. I wanna get lucky tonight in the back of my truck.
I laugh out loud. I’m not opposed to the idea.
Everly: Backseat making out is so overrated. Unless it’s with you.
Jake: I’d make out with you anywhere. Happily, all day.
I smile so big my face hurts.
I hopinto the truck and Jake closes the door after me. We just left Dick’s after an hour of looking at every kids bike they had in the store. I would have bought the first one we saw—pink with a purple stripe down the side — but Jake didn’t like the wheels or the fact that it was heavy. So, I followed him around the store as he checked out every single one. In fairness, he knows a lot about bikes considering he’s been riding mountain bikes all his life. I ended up spending more than I wanted to, but Jake thought it was worth it. He was cute, wanting to make sure the bike is absolutely perfect for Birdie. He asked if he could buy her a helmet, and after arguing with him for a good five minutes, I reluctantly agreed. It was sweet of him to want to buy her a birthday present. It actually made my chest feel all fluttery.
I told Jake about Birdie going to my mother-in-law’s for the weekend, and how anxious I am about it. After talking it out, he came up with the idea of getting a hotel room in Brookmont so that I can be closer to Birdie in case she needs me. He knew I wouldn’t be able to relax if she was two hours away. I love the idea, but two nights in a hotel is expensive, and I’m not sure I should be spending money on that right now. So, I told him I would think about it.
Once we’re on the road, I can’t help but notice that Jake seems nervous. He’s distracted, his knee bouncing steadily up and down as he drives. He seemed fine when we were in the store, so I’m not sure what caused this sudden shift in his mood.
Should I ask him what’s on his mind?We continue driving in silence, past the downtown boutiques and shops, then eventually onto the road that winds along White Harbor Beach. It’s beautiful this time of night—golden hour. The sky is bathed in an ethereal glow, and everything feels like magic, as if the world seems to be holding its breath.
When we stop at a red light, Jake looks at me with a cautious expression, and my heart rate blips. “Can we park for a second?”
“Okay. Why do I feel like I’m in trouble?” I tease because that’s what I do when I’m nervous. I say stupid things.
“You will be the next time I get you alone,” he says, with one dark brow raised, causing a shiver to ghost over my skin. The tension in his jaw fades and any trace of unease in his eyes is gone when he smirks. He keeps driving until he finds a parking spot, backing his pick-up in. He only breaks the grip he has on my hand to get out of the truck and walk around to open my door.
I follow him to the back of his F-150, watching as he lowers the tailgate. Suddenly, Jake lifts me by the hips so I’m sitting with my legs swinging underneath me, and then hops up beside me. The sun is setting in a kaleidoscope of purple and pinks, and a salty breeze drifts up from the ocean.
Jake nods towards the horizon in front of us. “The sunset is pretty tonight.”
“It is,” I agree, listening to the sound of the waves. “But why do I feel like that’s not why we’re sitting here?”
An anxious feeling rises inside me. I can tell that he has something on his mind, and the longer he stays quiet, the more nervous I get. Oh God, what hasn’t he told me? What kind of secret is he keeping from me?
Jake is silent for a moment, watching me with a small smile before he takes a long breath and sighs. Hesitating slightly, he begins. “It was my Gran’s birthday the other day and I went to see her. My sister, Sierra, and her boyfriend Grayson were there too. That’s a whole other story—Grayson is one of my best friends and I recently found out they’re together. It weirds me out, but I’m dealing with it.”
I laugh, because he can be so alpha sometimes and other times, he is sweet like honey. I watch him, waiting to hear where he’s going with this.
“Anyways, they were on me all night. They want to meet you. They want to meet Birdie too… and I know it’s early and it might freak you out, but I thought it would be nice for you to know a few more people here.” He looks up at me through dark lashes. “My friends Beckett and Jules have a daughter who Birdie would get along with, and my buddy Liam has a couple of kids too. It would be nice for Birdie to have some new friends.”
My brows dip. “Is that the only reason you want me to meet them?”
He grimaces, running his hand through his thick dark hair. “Fuck, I’m terrible at this. That’s not why I want you to meet them. It’s not the reason at all. It’s just a bonus. What I’m trying to say is I’d love for you to meet my family, get to see where I live. But I understand if it’s too much for you and Birdie.”
I feel like I can breathe again now that I know what he wanted to talk to me about. It’s a relief to know we’re okay, but meeting his family is a big step—one I”m not sure I’m ready to take. Until I know where things really stand between us, and where they’re going, I can’t give him the answer he wants to hear. Jake waits for me to say something, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I guess I’m bringing this up now. I swallow. “Can I ask you a question first?”
Jake nods. “Of course.”
“Do you see yourself having kids in the future? Is that… um... something that you want? Because I want siblings for Birdie. One or maybe two. I want to get married again. I get that this seems like a lot, but I’m 34, Jake. I have to be thinking about this. And if it’s not something you’re ready for, I totally understand, but we have to be honest with each other. I don’t think either of us should waste our time if we don’t want the same things.”
Jake leans in closer, reaching for my hand. His energy feels strangely calm, considering the bomb I just dropped on him.
“Honestly, I’ve never seen myself having kids,” he says, and my heart plummets to my stomach. I should have known a 27-year-old guy like Jake is not at the point where he’s thinking about having a family. I don’t know why I thought maybe he could be.
He squeezes my hand in his. “After losing my parents, I told myself I would never want to risk that kind of heartache again. But meeting you and Birdie has changed how I feel about having a family. Now I know that I want that for myself. I want what I lost, and that includes getting married and having kids one day.”
“Really?” I ask, my voice shaky.
“Yes, Ev.” He reassures me. “I love spending time with Birdie. I love having her around. Let me introduce you to my family. I want you to meet them. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t see a future with you.”
I blink at him, trying to take in every word he just said. Jake leans in and he kisses me. He presses his lips to mine, soft and lingering, before his tongue sweeps inside, mingling with mine. The kiss is passion mixed with something that feels a lot like love; a kiss that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
He slowly breaks the kiss but doesn’t pull away from me, leaving only a few inches between our faces. “Say yes, baby.”
I nod with a smile. “Yes.”
It happens so fast, I’m not sure how I got here. But Jake’s hands are on my waist, and my hands are wrapped around his neck. I’m straddling him on the tailgate of his pick-up truck, under the purplish-pink glow of the sky, my heart in his hands.
“You know what this means, right?” Jake asks, squeezing my hips.
“What does it mean?” I giggle.
“It means you are my girlfriend. I’m making it official.” He smiles, and It’s infectious so I’m smiling too, so hard that my cheeks hurt.
“I don’t get a say in it?” I ask playfully. He can tell I’m teasing by the way I hold him a little tighter, move my body a little closer to his.
“Nope, you don’t.”
“I’m very okay with the label.” I say, before my eyes dart down to Jake’s lips. He leans forward, giving me a quick kiss. When he pulls back, his gaze is on me.
“I think I’m falling for you,” Jake murmurs, his emerald-green eyes shining back at me. I feel my face flush.
I know without a doubt that I’ve already fallen for Jake Matthews.
JAKE
I watch Everlyyawn from where I’m sitting at the bar at Catch 21. Her shift tonight is exceptionally long, which is why I’m waiting inside to walk her home instead of out on the sidewalk. After 20 minutes of standing around outside, I decided a Pilsner at the bar sounded better. And I was right, because watching Everly work in her black skirt that ends mid-thigh and a blouse that looks sexy as fuck on her is an unbeatable view.
I glance at my watch. It’s almost midnight. I take a look around the restaurant, noticing that there’s only one table left, and they look like they’re getting ready to pay their bill. Thank God. I’m tired. But I’mnot the one who has been working on my feet all night, so I can’t imagine how Everly is feeling.
She’s behind the bar stacking a tray of clean glasses when she looks over at me and smiles. She looks exhausted. And it breaks me. She has been working so hard, picking up extra shifts at night to pay for Birdie’s birthday and dance classes, then taking care of her daughter all day by herself. She never complains, but a person can only work so hard before they break.
I hate that her jackass ex isn’t man enough to take care of his own daughter. Just the thought of that guy makes me grip my beer bottle a little tighter.
“Hey, Everly. After you’ve done that, get out of here. I’ll handle the rest,” Owen says to Everly from where he’s wiping down bottles.
He nods at me, and I can’t help but notice that he looks like he has more energy left in him than Ev and I combined. “The beer is on the house. It’s good to finally meet you, man.”
“Nah, you don’t have to do that,” I say, reaching for my wallet in my back pocket.
“You’ve spent enough money here. I recognize you. You come in with the Bennetts sometimes. Keep your money.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it” I say, grabbing a few bills and leaving them on the bar. Everly walks past Owen, clasping him on his shoulder. “Thanks O. I’m beat. I’ll see you Monday.”
“See you Monday. Have a good weekend,” Owen says over his shoulder as Everly stops in front of me, leaning her elbows against the bar.
She looks tired, her eyes glassy with exhaustion. “I’ll grab my things and we’ll get out of here. I’m sorry it’s so late.”
“It’s fine, babe. Take your time.”
Ten minutes later she’s changed into sweats and a pair of Converse. “Have a good night, Owen,” Everly calls out as we’re heading out the door to my truck. As I pull out of the parking lot, Everly rests her head against the headrest with a groan. “That was the longest night ever,” she sighs, closing her eyes. By the time I’ve thrown the truck into park in front of her apartment, she’s almost asleep.
“Come here, baby,” I say when I open the door for her. “I’ve got you.” Her tired eyes flutter open and I slip one arm around her lower back, easing her out of my F-150.
When we get to her door, I take her keys from her, quietly opening the door. Franny gives us a little wave from the couch, then stands up to gather her things. “You poor thing,” she says to Everly, pulling her in for a hug. “You look wiped.”
“She’s working herself ragged,” she tells me quietly with a shake of her head as she walks to the front door. “I’ll get going. You get her to bed.”
I nod at Franny as I kiss my tired girl on the crown of her head before saying, “Goodnight Franny. Thanks for watching Birdie.”
I walk Everly into her room and sit her on the edge of her mattress then walk to her dresser to get a T-shirt for her to wear to bed. “Arms up, baby,” I say, standing between her legs.
“Jake, you don’t have to. I can do it—”
“Let me take care of you. I want to.”
Her arms go up to the ceiling and I slip the workout top she’s wearing off her body and then pull the T-shirt over her head. She shimmies back towards the headboard, and I slip her sweatpants down her legs, leaving her in just her white lace thong. I get her under the covers and into bed, tucking her in before pressing a kiss to her temple. “Goodnight, Ev. Sweet dreams,” I say, sweeping her hair from her face.
“Where are you going?” she whispers as I move towards the door.
“I’m going home.”
“Stay,” she says softly. “It’s late.”
“Here?”
“Yes, here.” She sits up a little in bed. “I want you to stay with me.”
I walk back to her side of the bed, sitting on the edge. “What about Birdie? Are you sure you are comfortable with me staying?”
“Do you want to stay, Jake?”
“There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more.”
“Then stop arguing with me and get into bed.”
I strip down to my boxers and then crawl into bed, pulling her into my arms. I listen to her soft snores, breathing in the citrusy smell of her hair before I allow sleep to take hold of me.