Chapter 6 Serra
Serra
“You should’ve come home so we could help you deal with this.” His tone had one timbre—judgmental—and I rolled my eyes.
Sawyer Ward was the firstborn and heir to the Ward legal dynasty.
He was the spitting image of our father, from his milk chocolate brown complexion and low-cut curly black hair to their overbearing and controlling personalities.
They both treated me like I was a helpless ten-year-old, and they’d groomed my other three brothers to do the same.
It was to the point where all the Ward men thought I was nothing but another pawn in their game to rule the legal world.
To date, there were no women partners at the family firm, they were holding that spot for me. I had no idea how they managed to avoid being called out for that bit of gender discrimination but didn’t put it past my father to have paid off anyone that threatened to put up a fuss about it.
“I can deal with this on my own,” I told him.
It was just after six, and I’d already showered and changed into the second outfit I planned to wear to have the “talk” with Noah.
I still wasn’t certain how that was going to go, but I was confident enough that I could handle it.
And I’d decided that Noah was right, us trying to avoid each other in this small town wasn’t going to work, so it made sense that we clear the air between us.
The phone call had come just as I was headed to the door.
“Obviously you can’t,” Sawyer shot back. “Dad is pissed and was ready to get on a plane to come down there and get you, but I talked him out of it. I told him I’d handle you.”
Just like a good little flunkie. I wisely kept those words to myself.
Sawyer was a phenomenal litigator and could go round-for-round dismantling any argument that came at him.
With me, he just used the same hurtful tactics my family had mastered over the years—tear me down mentally so that I physically felt defeated.
“I don’t need to be handled, Sawyer. An issue arose, and I’m dealing with it. I’ve hired an attorney to protect myself legally and a PR company to cover the public. I’m going to be fine.”
“At worst, you’re going to be arrested. At best, your reputation in the sports world will be destroyed. You are not equipped to handle either of those things,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “Which is why, as I just told you, I’ve hired professionals to help.”
“We’re professionals, Serra. You should’ve come to the firm, to your family to protect you,” he shot back.
“But this is so like you. Run out into the world with your headstrong ass, make a mess, then we have to come behind you to clean that shit up. You would’ve thought you’d learned your lesson the last time. ”
“The last time?” My brow furrowed and my fingers clenched around the phone.
On my best days I could put what Sawyer, at my father’s behest, had done to me all those years ago, behind me.
On my worst, the memory was as painful as breathing to know that my family would go to any lengths to break me.
“You mean when you barged into my dorm room declaring me a foolish child for daring to fall in love?”
Sawyer sighed. “Awww, here we go with that shit again. Serra, you were fuckin’ twenty years old!
What the hell did you know about love? And with some convict from a small town that was barely even on the map.
” His chuckle was wry and infuriating. “You’re lucky I saved your ass from getting taken for every penny in your trust fund.
That dude was going to use you until there was nothing left, then he was going to come after the firm and all we’d built.
You’re damn right I put a stop to that bullshit! ”
Even eleven years later hearing him speak those negative words about Noah still stung.
“At least back then you were smart enough to heed my warning,” he continued. “You’d be smart to do the same now.”
“No,” I snapped back vehemently. “I will not let you bogart your way into my life just to tear it apart again, then walk away. You and Daddy swear you’re out to protect me, but all you do is run me down.
You think I’m a blemish on the upstanding Ward name?
Fine! Disown me, keep that damn trust fund that I’ve never touched.
I don’t want it or any of you in my life if it’s always coming with this negativity. ”
He sighed even heavier this time. “There you go getting all emotional. This is exactly why you’re incapable of handling this shit on your own. You’re probably still talking to that jackass ballplayer who got you into this mess in the first place.”
I could hear shuffling around, then a car door slam that told me Sawyer had probably been talking to me while he drove home from the office.
They all kept weird ass hours there, like the place couldn’t breathe without at least one of them in it at all times.
But since Saylor and Segal were the newest associates on the roster, they would be the ones working the latest hours.
“I’ve already got somebody digging into his past. We’re gonna expose every skeleton in that dude’s closet.
He’ll be the poster child for fuckups, while we work to get you out of the line of fire.
I’ve already booked you a flight out first thing in the morning.
You’ll come back home where we can keep the press away from you and make sure you don’t do anything else stupid. ”
“Hold the fuck up,” I countered. “You can stop right there with all the plans I’m sure Daddy has approved. I’m not leaving Providence and as I told you before, but you’re too stubborn to accept, I have my situation under control. I don’t need any help from you, Daddy, or the firm.”
Without waiting for him to say another word, I disconnected the call.
Unfortunately, it was too late. He’d said what he’d said, each word piercing the careful shield I’d erected around my emotional stability until I thought I would shatter into pieces.
My chest heaved as I sucked in gulps of air, hoping to keep myself from passing out.
When that didn’t feel like it was working, I ran out onto the front porch.
I’d already been on my way to the door anyway, so I didn’t have far to go.
Running, hiding, avoiding, none of those were my thing. Unless we share the same last name and I’m used to you bulldozing me every chance you got.
Once on the porch, I pulled in more air, this time with the scent of the water nearby and the freshly cut grass. Wrapping my arms around my waist, I leaned forward when my stomach roiled and threatened to relieve itself of everything I’d eaten earlier. My entire body shook as I fought back tears.
They always did this to me. Always made me feel like I wasn’t shit unless they gave me permission to be more.
I could do nothing right in their eyes, and it had always been that way.
When my mother was alive it had only been slightly better.
While my father had a firm grip on his boys, my mother was in charge of molding me.
Of teaching me how to be the perfect professional woman, socialite, and eventually wife and mother.
Sandra Ward had mastered the art of having a prestigious career where she specialized in women’s health and surgical procedures while balancing the position of adoring wife and doting mother.
She could do no wrong, except for when it pertained to me.
I talked too much, argued too vehemently, had too many opinions, too many of my own goals and dreams. I didn’t know how to conform, how to be what I was bred to be.
I wanted too much but didn’t know a damn thing about how to get or maintain it.
I was helpless without them while at the same time beyond a thorn in their sides.
They hated, as much as, loved me, I guess.
And on most days, I simply despised them all.
When I heard Pop Pop calling to me, I couldn’t bear to face him. Didn’t want to see the outrage followed by pity that would surely cover his weathered, raisin-hued face. So, I ran to my car, got in and drove off. Destination, nowhere; urgency, high.
I ended up at the edge of town where I turned down a road that I had no idea where it would lead.
I’d seen the mountains in the distance but wasn’t aware of how close I was to the base of one until I pulled the car to a stop by a grass pathway.
After getting out of the car, I walked that path until the weight of it all finally collapsed over me and I dropped down to sit in the grass as the night grew darker.
I sat there for hours crying, thinking, shaking, hoping.
It was late when I arrived back at the house and I fell into bed praying sleep would take me far away.
It had, and I didn’t wake up until almost noon on Friday.
I had an hour to shower, dress, and grab a cup of coffee before my video call with Zora.
That had taken another chunk of energy out of me, and I stayed in my room staring out the window to the lake, or up at the ceiling for the remainder of the afternoon.
Now, it was nearing nine in the evening, and I was sitting in my car again. Not at the mountain base this time, but in the parking lot of the Game Changers Bar & Grill.