Chapter Seven
Kaleidoscope
My stomach twists like a kaleidoscope, turning with different emotions with each rotation. Excitement. Sorrow. Panic. Regret.
Oh, is there regret.
He hasn’t spotted me yet. He’s with Camden and Kieran Doring, another player for Stonebridge United.
“Violet! You’re being too obvious! Would you turn around?” I hear Aimee hiss.
I ignore her.
I’m desperate for him to see me. To not see me. Is this a chance for me to say something, to admit why I did what I did?
Is it fate that he’s here in this very bar tonight, when I know he doesn’t go out to many bars at all?
Or do I even want Noah to see me? What if he does and there’s a look of disgust on his face? What if he doesn’t want to talk to me at all?
Understood.
I swallow hard as a lump threatens to form in my throat.
What if he’s here to meet women?
I know I should turn around, but I can’t. I can’t stop staring at the wonderful man I cast aside out of fear. He’s wearing jeans, a plain navy T-shirt, and white trainers. His inked arms are fully visible, and his dark hair is casually tousled.
He’s gorgeous.
Everything rushes back to me. That night he sat next to me in the garden. How he smelled like fresh soap and citrus. The soft pitch of his voice. His observations and the quiet way about him that made him so uniquely different from any other man I’d ever met …
Then it happens.
Noah spots me.
I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I desperately search his face for any kind of indication of what he feels when he sees me.
His gaze never wavers. Noah’s eyes are locked on mine, and one emotion becomes clear in my kaleidoscope.
Hope.
The fact that this emotion jumps to the top, the fact that my brain and my heart are both in alignment on it, tells me I do regret what I did. Despite the fact that I know I could disappoint him, despite the fact that I could get hurt, despite the fact that we could go on one date, and it could be a disaster—I know what I want.
I want another chance.
I’m desperate to see something in Noah’s expression that will give me hope. Hope that he’s willing to grant me another chance.
“What is wrong with you, Violet?” Aimee asks.
I have to do something.
Before I have time to even think, I get up from the table. “Aimee, I know those guys. I’ll be right back.”
I’m shaking as I make my way across the bar to them. Camden lifts a brow as I draw closer, but Noah remains expressionless.
I don’t know what happens, but everything within me shifts.
Because I’m going to do everything in my power for another chance with Noah.
“Hey,” I say, approaching them with a smile. “Imagine running into you guys here.”
Camden flashes me a warm smile. “Hello, Violet. I should have figured we might run into you since you’re in London to work with Bella. How are you?”
“I’m good,” I answer. I shift my attention to Noah, and then I see what I hoped to see in his beautiful brown eyes.
Want.
It’s so palpable in his expression, I feel my knees nearly go weak. I’m about to speak to him when Kieran extends his hand to me.
“I’m Kieran Doring,” he says cheerfully, flashing me a smile.
I shake his hand. He’s tall, with blond hair and light-blue eyes. No ink. I can say objectively he’s attractive, but not my type.
As in not Noah.
“Kieran joined Stonebridge United this summer,” Camden explains. “We stole him away from Liverpool. So we thought we’d do a little bonding tonight.”
“It’s lovely to meet you,” I say, smiling warmly at him. I’m about to turn back to Noah, but Kieran addresses me before I can.
“Who is your friend?” he asks, nodding and looking over my shoulder. “Is she single? She’s gorgeous.”
Hmm. I wonder if Kieran could be her type.
But maybe he doesn’t have to be her type. Maybe Aimee just wants a hook-up. That’s not the Aimee I knew at uni, but I’m just in the process of getting to know who she is now. She might want to hook up with a Premier League player, who knows?
“If you would like to join us, I’d be happy to introduce you,” I offer.
“No. We—” Noah begins.
“Yes, we can,” Kieran says, interrupting him and flashing me an endearing smile. “Thank you.”
Kieran heads off in the direction of our table, and Camden grins at me. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he behaves with your friend,” he assures me. Then he follows them to the table.
And now I’m left alone with Noah.
He stares down at me, his gaze questioning, but no words tumble past those beautiful full lips of his. The shouts of laughter, the rattle of ice in a cocktail shaker, the sounds of music fill the space between us in this bar instead of conversation.
Nothing is being said.
But everything is being said at the very same moment when I look at him.
Want.
My breath catches in my throat as that word has now replaced understood. I can see it in his eyes. Noah’s expressive eyes are telling me everything I need to know.
I’m about to speak when he clears his throat. “If you don’t want me at your table, I understand,” he says slowly. “I can get Kieran to move.”
I don’t even wince when he says the word understand. I move forward with my own agenda tonight.
“That’s the last thing I want.”
Noah’s eyes search mine in confusion. “What?”
I glance over my shoulder, and I see Aimee is sitting with Camden and Kieran in the booth, and Kieran is already engaged in conversation with her. I can’t have the conversation I need with Noah now. He deserves more than a fumbled apology and a confession of why I did what I did in the middle of a crowded bar.
“I have no right to ask you this, but I am. I would love more than anything for you and your friends to join us tonight.”
The want in Noah’s eyes gives way to confusion.
“I can’t give you the explanation you deserve right now, Noah. But I would love to spend time with you. And speak to you privately before you leave tonight to explain my behaviour in those text messages we exchanged.”
My heart races when I see his expressive eyes shift once again, but this time with another emotion I’m desperate to see.
Hope.
“All I can say now is that understood is all wrong now,” I say meaningfully. “So very wrong. And I’ll explain it all later, if you care to hear it. But that is up to you.”
I stop speaking. His eyes are locked on mine, and I swear, my heart is squeezing so tight inside my chest, I can’t breathe.
Noah doesn’t say a word.
Please give me this chance, I plead with my eyes. Please trust me. Just one more chance to tell you what a mistake I made.
“All right.”
I exhale in relief. I have a chance. There’s no guarantee what the outcome will be, but Noah is kind enough to give me the opportunity to explain exactly what happened when I sent him that text message.
He gestures for me to walk first, and I step in front of him. Then I feel it.
His fingertips press against the small of my back.
My heart stops beating. It takes all my concentration to walk. Noah’s touching me. Not just touching me, but placing his hand on my lower back in an intimate, guiding gesture.
There’s hope.
Real hope.
And I’m going to do everything I can to prove to him I’m worth the risk I’m going to ask him to take.
We reach the table, and I slide into the seat next to Camden. I wait for Noah to take the seat next to Kieran, but instead, he gestures to his teammate. “I would like to sit next to Violet, can you all move a bit?”
Aimee shoots me a look, which I promptly ignore.
Kieran shifts over, which leads to everyone moving around until Noah has taken a seat next to me, his muscled thigh brushing against mine and sending heat rushing through me.
“Hello,” Aimee says to Noah, smiling at him. “I’m Aimee. I’m a friend of Vi’s since uni.”
The waitress reappears at our table. “May I get you gentlemen some drinks?” she asks, putting cocktail napkins down on the table.
Noah and Kieran order beers. Camden asks for soda water and orange.
“So what do you all do for a living?” Aimee asks.
“We all play for the same team,” Kieran says casually.
“Team?” Aimee’s brows draw into a V.
“They play for Stonebridge United, Aimee,” I explain.
Her brows go from a V to shooting upwards in surprise. “Oh wow!”
“What do you do for a living?” Kieran asks her.
“I’m an editorial assistant at a publishing house,” Aimee explains, picking up her drink and taking a sip.
“What does that mean?”
“I work with romance authors,” Aimee explains. “I work with them from the proposal stage all the way through to a completed, published book.”
Kieran cringes. “Romance books? Are you waiting for a better job to come open?”
And there goes any chance he might have ever had with Aimee.
“No, I love my job. Why are you cringing, by the way? Are you biased against romance novels?” she asks, narrowing her eyes at him.
I smile. Aimee is going to teach him a lesson about romance books.
“No, not necessarily against novels, but romance books are cheesy.”
“Have you ever read one?” she asks.
He snorts. “No.”
“Then you have no idea of what they are. A good story—no matter what the genre—can provide different things to a reader. It can be an escape. It can make you think. Or feel. And I’m proud to be part of bringing books like these into people’s lives.”
Noah dips his head towards mine. I instantly inhale the sensual scent of citrus lingering on his skin, sending goosebumps over my skin. “Aimee just hit the back of the net with that comment,” he murmurs against my ear.
My pulse quickens with this gesture, of Noah wanting to share a personal thought with me.
I lean in closer to him so only he can hear me, relishing the intimacy of our conversation. “I knew that wasn’t going to fly with Aimee,” I say. “If he wanted a chance with her, it’s gone.”
“As it should be, that was a rude thing to say,” Noah murmurs. “Between you and me? All he’s talked about is football from the time we met him for dinner. I’m a footballer, and I’m bored. I can’t imagine what you and Aimee will think by the end of the night.”
“I think we need to give him a code name. How about The Dead Bore?”
Noah chuckles. Goosebumps prickle my skin the second I hear that sound pass his lips.
“Perfect.”
Yes, perfect,I think, gazing at him. Just perfect.
Drinks are brought to the table, and if Noah has any hesitation hanging out in my presence, he certainly isn’t showing it. Thankfully talk shifts away from books, but I notice Kieran doesn’t fit into the conversation in the way Noah and Camden do.
And just as Noah warned me, all he talks about is football. Being a footballer. Playing football. What other football teams are doing. That’s his only contribution to the conversation this evening. He’s a bit arrogant about it, too. Like Aimee should be impressed with his stories, because he keeps talking to her and seems to be floored that she isn’t falling all over him.
I wonder if he thought just dropping that he was a footballer was enough to get Aimee’s attention.
A one-word answer pops into my head.
WRONG.
When there’s a lull in the conversation, I turn to Camden. “So what’s Bella up to this evening? I have dinner plans with her tomorrow to go over the school visit I’m helping her with on Thursday,” I say, pausing to take another sip of my cocktail.
“She’s helping Liz prepare for a big speech she’s making tomorrow regarding her childhood education initiative,” he says. “Liz asked her if she and Clementine would hear her speech and help her tweak it tonight.”
“Oh, I don’t think I could ever give the speeches that Liz and Bella do,” I say, shaking my head. “I would be terrified.”
“Violet. You’re a natural talker. I think you’d be fantastic at it,” Aimee counters.
“No, that is rambling,” I insist. “Making an eloquent speech is completely different.”
I feel Noah’s gaze on my profile. “I think you’d be brilliant,” he says softly.
Hope.That word once again rises to the surface of my thoughts. He doesn’t have to be nice to me, let alone give me a compliment.
Unless he wants to.
We hang out and talk for a long time, even ordering some starters for the table. Noah and Camden talk easily with me and Aimee, and Kieran contributes when he can say something … about himself.
Playing football.
Finally, the end of the evening comes, and we all rise to leave. Nervousness takes over from hope, because I know I have a lot of explaining to do to Noah, and they’re not going to be easy things to say.
Even if he does show hope and want in his eyes, his head might rightly tell him to keep me at arms’ length after the 360 I did on him merely a few days ago.
We all walk out together, and I hug Aimee goodbye. We make plans to meet up again as soon as possible. Then Camden has his car brought round, and Noah clears his throat. “Why don’t you go ahead? I’ll catch an Uber back to my hotel.”
Camden looks from me to Noah. “An Uber, eh?” he asks, his Canadian side coming out.
“Yeah,” Noah says.
Kieran grins mischievously at him. “Well, have a good evening, brother,” he says, clapping him on the back.
The paparazzi are still taking pictures, and flashes are blinding my eyes. This time I know it’s not for me, but for three of the best footballers in the world leaving Wisteria House after a night out.
Noah stares at the photographers, who are still snapping at us as we stand on the pavement. “If we walk, we’re going to be followed. I don’t want that for you,” he says.
Swoon. I can tell he’d be a protective boyfriend.
“Why don’t we go back into Wisteria House and talk? If you’re agreeable to that, I mean,” he continues. “I’m sure there’s somewhere quiet we can find.”
My heart thuds against my ribs. “Do you mean that?”
“I do.”
“I’d love that, thank you.”
We turn around and head back inside Wisteria House, and Noah leads me up to the second floor, where there’s the Library Room, which is a bar with a very quiet vibe. He finds a spot with a vacant leather sofa, and gestures for me to take a seat. I sink down on it, and Noah sits next to me. The room is dark and intimate, and votives flicker on tables all over the room.
Nerves seize me. I have to make sure I get this right. I have one try at another chance with Noah, and I know I’ll be lucky to even get that. I’m about to speak when he turns to me.
“I’m not sure how you can take back what you said to me in that text,” he says, his voice quiet. “Or if you truly want to take those words back now, or if you are only telling yourself that you should. But I promised myself I would hear you out tonight. So what do you have to say to me, Violet?”