Chapter Twenty-Six
All In
How is it Noah has been gone for only a few hours and I already miss him?
I sigh as I look at my laptop on Sunday night. I’m back in the library at Wintersmith Hall, having seen Noah off late this afternoon. I’m reviewing my schedule for the week, and I see I’m scheduled to work in the gift shop on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Mum will probably want to do a shopping expedition on one of those days off, too.
I add all these dates to my diary, and then I do something that will lead to the wildest risk I’ve ever taken in my life.
I look up flights from London to Australia.
As I wait for flights to populate, I think of how everything went with Noah this weekend. Yesterday, we spent all day at the beach, content to be with just each other. We swam in the sea. Playfully chased and splashed each other in the water. Went for fish and chips and had ice cream with Flakes in them. It was a perfect, blissful day, and we came home exhausted but happy.
Today, we spent a leisurely morning in bed before coming back to Wintersmith Hall to have Sunday roast with my family. Noah was polite and engaged both my parents in conversation, and he left a wonderful impression on them. I knew by the end of lunch that they didn’t just see him as a footballer, but as a good man, and that means everything to me.
Noah delayed his return, extending his time as much as he could, and even with that, I felt anxious and sad when he had to leave. Noah held my face in his hands and promised me he would see me this week—even if he has to drive up and back on the same day to do it.
And I know he will.
He has shown me the kind of man he is all weekend long.
Now it’s time for me to show Noah the kind of woman I am.
And that is a woman who will fly around the world for the privilege of watching him play.
I open another tab and look up the Stonebridge United Australia Tour schedule on their website. Okay. I know I can get an itinerary for the team from Bella—she’ll know it because of Camden—and I’ll have to allow time to travel halfway around the world and get there in time for the match.
I frown. This will involve maths.
I hate maths.
One day I’ll tell Noah I knew I had to be in love with him when I sat down to do mathematical calculations to figure out how I was going to get to him in another country.
I grin and take a look at the flight schedule. It looks like I can leave Heathrow at eleven o’clock in the morning, arrive in Perth at eleven-forty the next day—a sixteen hour and forty-five-minute flight—then take a three-hour flight from Perth to Melbourne, arriving by six forty-five on Wednesday night.
That’s nearly twenty-two hours of air travel.
I would need to be in London on Monday night, depart Tuesday morning, sleep as much as I can on the plane, get into Melbourne long enough to eat and check into my hotel, then get some more sleep before heading to the match on Thursday. Noah told me he’ll have that evening off, so we can get together that night before he continues his tour on Friday, and I head back to the airport to fly back to London.
This is crazy.
I also notice the price of the airfare, which is several thousand pounds.
I gulp. I do have this in cash, as I’ve got a trust fund from my grandfather and I live at home, so I don’t have many expenses. I’ve even managed to save some of my gift shop salary over time, too.
I’d still have to buy a match ticket, pay for a hotel, and account for food—this is going to be one very expensive one-day trip to Australia.
But if anyone is worthy of this, it’s Noah.
Could I wait for him to play in England instead of running off to Australia to see him? Of course I could.
But I won’t.
Noah would never expect me to make this kind of an effort to see him.
Which is exactly why I want to do it.
Nobody, besides his dad, has made an effort to watch him play. There’s been nobody there, year after year, to cheer for him. To be someone he could look to in the stands when he needed support. Noah had to watch his teammates have girlfriends, partners, wives, friends, family all be at games to cheer their player on.
He had no one.
Tears fill my eyes when I think of it. How every time he stepped onto that pitch there was nobody there for him. He won the ultimate titles you can win in football—the Champions League and the Premier League—with nobody caring enough to show up and watch, let alone celebrate it with him.
I know some of it is Noah building a wall around himself. Being too afraid to let anyone ever get close enough to him to hurt him the way his mum and brother did.
Yet somehow, he found the courage to let Camden into his life this past year. Deeper friendships with other teammates followed.
And then me.
Is it too early for this kind of grand gesture? Most sane people would say yes. But those same people haven’t had the past few days that I have with Noah. He’s already willing to drive hours to have dinner with me, only to have to drive right back to Surrey. I know our feelings are happening quickly, but that doesn’t make them any less real.
Or Noah any less worthy of having someone make a grand gesture for him.
I smile. The best part? I know this won’t scare him. My own twin said he’s all in.
And flying to Melbourne to see a friendly is my way of saying I’m all in, too.
I put a hold on a roundtrip ticket—I want to get my game ticket and hotel sorted before I purchase something so expensive. I pop over to a ticket resale site. I want to be as close to the Stonebridge United bench as possible.
Luckily for me, they have the team benches designated on the stadium map, and there are premium seats in the section near the bench, in the front row.
My jaw drops. For more than a thousand pounds, that is.
I bite my lip. This is going to be one expensive trip.
I consider my seating options. Of course, I could sit somewhere much more affordable than pitch side. But for this game, it’s important that I’m somewhere that Noah can see me. I open a spreadsheet in another tab and start entering numbers. Next, I need to find a hotel in Melbourne for two nights for my whirlwind trip. I peruse a couple until I find one that is a close distance to the AAMI Park. Okay. That rate isn’t too bad, so I reserve a room that has a cancellation policy. I go back to my spreadsheet and put in the remaining estimates and the number is a bit jaw-dropping.
I’ll be buying the equivalent of a third of a car with this trip.
Thousands of pounds. All for one fixture.
And for a man who hasn’t told me he loves me, nor I him.
Yet I know with every fibre of my being that I’m doing the right thing.
Next, I flip over to my schedule for the gift shop and look ahead to that week in July. Okay. I’m scheduled for Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. I can work Monday, then drive to London after work. I’ll need to swap with someone for Thursday. I look to the next week and find some dates I can hopefully swap with someone. If not, I’m pretty sure I can get Amelia to cover that one day for me.
I chew on my lip again. Okay. With that settled, I can show my parents I’m still reliable and not flaking on my responsibilities. I’m working all this week, and as soon as I get back from Australia, I won’t be switching shifts.
Which will still set me up to approach Dad about hosting an art event at Wintersmith Hall.
“What are you doing?”
I jump, startled by Nicholas’s deep voice. He’s standing in the doorway, mug in his hand, watching me work.
“You scared me,” I say, putting my hand over my racing heart. “I’m doing some maths.”
Nicholas quirks a brow as he walks into the library. “Maths? Must be serious if you are willingly doing maths on a Sunday night.”
“It is. You can sit down if you want. I’d like to tell you my plan.”
Nicholas pulls out the chair across from me and sets his mug down on the tabletop, and the scent of hot hazelnut coffee drifts towards me. Ooh. I want a mug of that. When we’ve finished talking, I’ll have to go make some.
“The art plan?” he asks as he sinks into his chair.
“No. The ‘fly to Melbourne and watch Noah play in a fixture’ plan.”
Nicholas stares at me. Then, when he sees I’m not laughing or smiling, his jaw drops open in surprise. “You’re serious.”
I nod. “Yes, I am.”
“You’re going to fly to Australia to watch him play?” he asks, incredulous.
“I am. By myself. I’m doing two things I’ve never done before. Travelling abroad alone and attending a football game.”
His brows furrow into a V. “Darby invited you to go to Australia? So soon?”
“No, he didn’t invite me.”
Now Nicholas looks concerned. “You’re going all the way to Australia to surprise him?”
“Yes,” I say, nodding.
He groans. “Violet.”
“Don’t start to big brother me, Nicholas. I know what I’m doing.”
“You should ask Darby first,” Nicholas warns. “He might not want a surprise when he’s starting off a tour.”
I promised Noah I wouldn’t reveal anything about his past to another soul. It would make this trip make more sense to Nicholas, but despite that fact, I will keep my word to him.
“Noah will appreciate my support,” I say firmly. “I know he will.”
“But surely he wouldn’t expect you to go all the way to Australia,” Nicholas counters. “How much money is this going to cost you, Vi?”
I sit straighter in my chair, feeling confident in my answer. “Several thousand pounds.”
He shakes his head. “I think there are better ways you can support him rather than flying all the way to Australia to surprise him. You’re still getting to know him, Violet.”
I know what Nicholas is implying. It’s far too soon to be embarking on a costly adventure—halfway around the world, nonetheless—for a man I’ve had fewer than a handful of dates with.
“Nicholas, if I were looking at my situation from the outside in like you are, I would think the exact same thing,” I confess. “But you don’t know how close Noah and I have become during the past week. We’ve spent all day and all night together. We talk. Really talk. About things we’ve never shared with another soul. He took care of me when I was sick. He knows how I take my tea, Nicholas. Noah pays attention. You yourself said that he’s all in.”
He sighs. “I did say that.”
“I have a feeling if this were something to support Amelia, you’d do it. Even though you haven’t dated her that long, either. Your prior history doesn’t count. You guys were teenagers then. I’m talking about as an adult.”
Nicholas leans back in his chair and groans. “You’re right.”
“Thank you,” I say, smiling triumphantly at him.
“Mum and Dad aren’t going to like this,” he points out.
“I know. And I don’t care. I have the financial means to do it. I’ll square away my schedule at the gift shop before I begin this adventure, therefore showing them I’m responsible, and I will be working all the way up until I leave. And I’ll be working my schedule when I come back. By that point, I’ll be ready to present my art plans to Dad.”
“Which I will fully back you on,” Nicholas reaffirms. He tilts his head and studies me for a moment. “You know, Vi? You’re starting to come into your own. A few weeks ago, you never would have entertained the idea of travelling by yourself, let alone all the way to the other side of the world. And you’re coming up with ideas for things that will help launch your art career. I’m proud of you.”
“I would like to say it’s all me, getting a sudden burst of confidence, but that wouldn’t be fair to Noah,” I say softly. “He’s made me see things in myself that even I couldn’t see.”
Nicholas smiles fondly at me. “You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around.”
I look expectantly at him. He laughs. “You’re my twin, but I’m still not telling you what Darby said.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re just baiting me.”
“No. I’m reaffirming for you that Noah is all in on you without revealing all the details.”
“Thanks. Kinda,” I tease.
Nicholas takes a sip of his coffee. “I’ve been to Melbourne. Let me know if you need any help planning your trip.”
I stare at him. “You don’t have any concerns about me travelling by myself?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. You’ll be smart.”
I feel myself smiling in response to his praise and support. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me for stating something obvious,” he responds. “I’ll tell Mum and Dad the same thing when they panic about these plans when you drop them.”
I groan. “That’s going to be the worst bit. Not the jet lag in Australia and turning around and immediately coming home. It will be Mum and Dad treating me like a child incapable of going to Melbourne.”
Nicholas chuckles and runs his finger around the rim of his coffee mug. “You’re right. That will be the worst part.”
His phone buzzes on the table. Nicholas flips it over and the sappy smile that spreads over his face tells me it’s Amelia.
“Boy, I can tell you’re in love not merely by the fact that you bought Amelia peacocks, but by the look on your face right now. I know she just texted you by your expression alone. If I were writing this up for Dishing Weekly, I’d say you are loved up.”
I swear my twin begins to flush. His hand moves to the nape of his neck, and he begins to rub it. “Vi, I’m not only in love, but I’ve told Amelia I am. Even though most people would say it hasn’t been long enough to say that.”
I wonder about this. Why do we have preconceived notions on when we can officially be in love? Like if we fall in love sooner than what some people expect, it’s not as genuine or meaningful as if you had waited for months to declare it?
“I think if you know, you know. I know I’m falling in love with Noah. Can I look at him and say I love him? Not yet. But there will be a moment soon when I know it, and I won’t be apologetic if it’s not months and months after meeting him. I’ll know what’s right for me. And you should feel the same.”
Nicholas stares at me, a look of astonishment entering his eyes. “Why does it feel like you’ve become a new person since you met Noah?”
I think upon this for a moment.
“This is going to sound weird, but Noah brings out pieces of me I didn’t know I had,” I confess. “He sees me in ways nobody else can. The thing is, Nicholas, I like this person I’m becoming.”
“You know what? I like her, too,” he says, smiling at me. Then he stands up and retrieves his cup of coffee. “I’ll let you finish up. I’m going to try and go to bed early, because Amelia and I are going to ride before work tomorrow.”
I smile. Both Nicholas and Amelia are avid riders, and they take turns riding between Wintersmith Hall and Swallowhedge so they each get time atop their own horses.
Noah confessed to me he’s never ridden, and I hope to get him in the saddle the next time he’s in Dorset. I love riding, and I want to be the one to give him his first experience on horseback.
“No word on Australia to anyone,” I say to Nicholas. Then I think about this. “I take it back. You can tell Amelia. I trust her.”
He nods. “She’ll be excited for you.”
I smile. “I know she will. I already feel as if we are going to be very close friends.”
“Funny, I have the same feeling about Darby,” Nicholas says, winking at me. Then he exits the library.
I love my brother so much. I know he’s going to have my back if my parents lose their minds over my trip to Australia. I also love how he embraced Noah and made him feel welcome. I know that was a big part of the reason Noah was able to open up so quickly to him and Amelia on Friday night. They both made a point to make him feel comfortable.
I also have a feeling Noah stepped outside of his comfort zone—yet again—because of his feelings for me.
Buzz!
I glance down at my phone. Then my heart skips a beat when I see a message from Saucy Shorts:
I miss you, Butterfly.
If one could melt from a text, I’d be liquid right now. I pick up my phone and text him back:
I miss you, too.
Saucy Shorts is typing …
When can I see you again?
Ahhh!
I text him back:
I could come up to Surrey after work on Wednesday and head back on Thursday night. I have to open the gift shop on Friday.
Saucy Shorts is typing …
No, you’re working. I can come to you. I’ll book a place closer to Wintersmith Hall this time. Maybe you can come to Surrey on Saturday and stay until Monday if you want.
I grin at that.
If I want.
In fact, I can’t think of anything I want more than to spend more time with Noah.
Except to see his face when he spots me in the stadium in Melbourne.
Wearing his shirt.