Chapter Thirty-One
Showing Up
I know the first time I had sex with Noah, it was different from any other sexual experience I’d ever had before.
But this time?
This was physical and emotional intimacy on a whole new level.
Right now, I’m in Noah’s arms, and I feel his lips brush against my temple. The blackout curtains in the hotel room are nearly closed, but there’s just a sliver left open, so the lights of downtown Melbourne provide a bit of light to illuminate the room. We’re wrapped up in each other, in a tangle of white sheets, and my feeling is one of complete bliss.
I’m still revelling in what just occurred between us. This time, sex was slow and sweet, and the entire time we told each other we loved each other.
I’ve never felt so cherished and loved in my life.
And I’m pretty sure Noah feels the same way.
I run my fingertips along his Greek god tattoos, thinking of how for so long, he’s worn this armour. Reminding himself to be a warrior and to fight. He said these tattoos were for football, and I believe that—but I believe subconsciously, they were reminders to protect himself. Shield himself from being vulnerable to emotional pain.
But now he’s laid down his shield.
Noah has let me in. Not just into his life, but into his heart.
“Violet?” he says softly, his fingertips gently caressing my hair as my cheek rests against his chest.
“Hmm?”
“I want to tell you what tonight meant to me.”
I shift so I’m on my side now, and Noah turns in to face me. He reaches for my hand, lacing his fingers through mine, and squeezes it gently.
“I never thought I would look into the stands and see someone there for me,” he begins, his voice quiet. “I told you it was the one thing I was envious of Camden about. That he has Bella. His parents. His brother and now his sister-in-law. Someone is always there for him. I never thought I’d have that.”
I remain silent, as I know how important it is for Noah to speak now.
“When I first saw you tonight in the stands, I thought I was going crazy,” he continues, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing the knuckles. “But there you were. You came all the way to Australia to surprise me. I still can’t believe you did it. You came halfway around the world to watch me play.”
“I would do it again,” I say, staring deeply into his eyes. “I would go anywhere in the world to be there for you, Noah. Because I love you. Love is showing up for someone. It’s supporting them and cheering them on. I will always do that for you. Always.”
Noah swallows hard before speaking. “Seeing you in the stands is the best surprise I’ve ever had in my life.”
I smile at him. “I’m so glad it made you so happy.”
“When I saw you, I realised that this is what I deserved. For so long I told myself I was getting what I deserved—having no one—for my part in my dad’s death. But you made me see that is wrong. It was never my fault. And I do deserve to—to be loved,” he finishes, his voice barely audible as he says the last word.
Now I’m crying.
“You do deserve to be loved,” I say, my voice breaking. “And I’m honoured that I am the woman who gets to love you, Noah. You lowered your walls for me. I know how hard that was, but you found the courage to do it. Not only did you let me in, you allowed yourself to love me. And I’m so grateful for that.”
Noah releases my hand so he can wipe away my tears.
“I really believe Dad sent you to me,” he says, his voice rough as his eyes lock on mine. “He told me to look out for you. I’m so glad I listened to him. Because I love you, Violet. And I will always be in your corner.”
“I know you will.”
“I know it’s going to be a whilst before we are living near each other, but I want to reassure you, I’m going to see you as much as possible. I would drive to Dorset even if I could see you for only an hour. Shit, who am I kidding? I would drive for five minutes with you. I swear I’ll do it.”
“I know you will, and I’ll do the same for you. But I promise you, I’m going to work really hard on getting to London as soon as possible. I have to get some experience, unfortunately, and that will take some time.”
“It doesn’t matter. We’re still going to see each other as much as we can.”
“I know. I believe you,” I say. “But when I get back to Dorset—as soon as I recover from the jet lag, I mean—I’ll ask my parents for the opportunity to do some art exhibits at the estate. I’ll need several to build out my CV, then I will be able to apply for positions in London. But putting those exhibits on will take time. More than I’d like.”
“I don’t want you to worry about that,” Noah says firmly. “We will be together every week. When I’m playing at home, you can come stay with me on the weekends.”
I smile at him. “I will do that, you know. And drive to Surrey to have a cup of coffee with you.”
“You’d better,” he says, brushing his lips against the bridge of my nose.
“I will.”
“When are you heading back to England?”
“Tomorrow.” I smile at him. “I’ve got work to do back in Dorset, you know. For the future. And at the gift shop. I swapped shifts so I could come to Melbourne. I will be working on Monday.”
“So you land on Saturday,” Noah says, doing the travel maths in his head.
“Yes. I think I’ll stay the night in London, then drive back to Dorset on Sunday.”
“Yeah, get some sleep on Saturday. I know your flight isn’t as comfortable as flying on the charter is when I travel.”
“Oh! I almost forgot. I have something for you. For when you are on the aeroplane or in your hotel room.” I roll out of bed and begin to put my bra and sweater back on.
Noah groans. “I don’t like when you put your clothing back on.”
I laugh. “Why, because that means the sex portion of our night is over?”
“That, and I know I’m going to have to go soon.”
I frown. “Well, I’m not exactly fond of that idea either. But my gift will make you think of me when you’re on the road.”
I move over to my suitcase and rummage through it. I can hear Noah get up, and I turn around to find him slipping into his boxers. I inwardly sigh when I see his muscular legs, chiselled abs, and tattoo sleeves.
God, he’s a beautiful man.
I force myself to turn back around and retrieve what I had brought for Noah. I wait for him to finish dressing, and as soon as he does, I go over to him. “This is for you.”
I give Noah the book I had brought for him. He holds the tan-coloured cloth book in his hands and stares down at it, then his eyes widen as the city lights illuminate the title for him.
Classical Mythology.
He immediately lifts his gaze to meet mine. “Violet, this is the book from the painting.”
I nod. “It’s Lady Lily’s book. This book is what made me realise what a mistake I made in shoving you away. I feel I found it because she wanted me to find it. I want you to have it.”
“But Violet, this is part of your family history,” Noah says.
“I think it’s part of our history now,” I say. “Open it.”
Noah furrows his brow and opens the book. On the inside, he finds the original notes from Lady Lily and Lord George, but then his eyes widen. He immediately looks up at me, his dark eyes searching mine.
“Read it,” I say simply.
Noah looks back down at the newest inscription and reads out loud. “Fifteenth July. Noah, I knew I wanted to give you this book one day because of the importance it had in bringing us together. I can’t think of a more perfect time than after seeing you play in Melbourne. Think of this book as my way of being here in some way for you, even when I physically can’t, reminding you of our connection. I’m so proud of you and I’m always with you, cheering you on, no matter where I am in the world. I love you so much, Violet.”
Noah finishes reading but doesn’t lift his eyes from the page. I push my tears aside as I watch his Adam’s apple move. Then he slowly closes the book and looks up at me, his eyes soft with emotion.
“I … I don’t know what to say,” he says. “Thank you doesn’t do the gift justice. It’s … it’s the best gift I’ve ever received.”
I’m overjoyed that my gift has touched him like this. “I’m so glad you like it.”
“I love it, Violet. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Noah lays the book on the bed and envelopes me into his arms. I move my arms around his back, holding him tightly, my cheek pressed against his chest. I listen to the beating of his heart and close my eyes, thinking of how lucky I am that I found my person in Noah Darby.
He faced his fears of being hurt to let me into his heart. He had to put down his carefully built walls to not only take a chance on me, but to trust me after I shoved him away. Now that I know his past, I can’t believe how brave he was to even consider it, let alone do it.
Suddenly something hits me.
I made a mistake with Noah, a massive one, and he not only forgave me but went on to love me.
To trust me with his heart.
I’m going to make mistakes. As Aimee says, everyone does. Unless it’s something catastrophic, they can be forgiven. Hopefully corrected. But most likely, they can be things that people can move on from.
I know I love art, and I know I could do great things if I allow myself to try.
If I allow myself to fail.
There’s no need to abandon things out of fear I won’t do them right or disappoint people. That is going to happen because it’s life.
A life I haven’t been brave enough to try and live until I met Noah.
But now I am. I want to change my life. I’m ready to start a career and move to London and do everything I’ve dreamt of doing. I want to put together shows for a gallery. I want to launch artists into the world or work in an auction house assessing works of art.
There are so many things I can do.
I see that now, thanks to this man holding me in his arms.
“Noah?”
He takes a step back from me. His fingertips move to my chin, tilting it upwards towards him.
“Butterfly?”
I smile at both the gesture and hearing my nickname come across his lips.
“Next week everything is going to change. I’m going to present my ideas to my parents, and I know that’s the first step in getting a career in art. But I’m not scared. I’m excited. I’m excited about the future, about working, and seeing what I can do. I owe that all to you, Noah. Thank you for believing in me. For seeing me in a way nobody else has. I promise I won’t let you down.”
“This isn’t about letting me down.” He shakes his head. “It’s about doing what you want to do. I’m already so proud of you, Violet. I can’t wait to see you spread your butterfly wings beyond Dorset,” he says, taking his index finger and tracing it down the slope of my nose, “because I think you’re going to surprise yourself with what you’re going to accomplish.”
Then he drops his index finger and brushes a sweet kiss onto my lips.
I smile to myself. He’s right. I am going to do great things.
And next week, this butterfly is finally going to fly.