Chapter 3 #4
When I video call Ash later that night, he snarks at me, “Well, I didn’t think you’d be messaging me about your greedy, dripping pussy aching for my cock.”
I gulp.
Lying to myself isn’t exactly my strong suit, so I’m quick to accept that maybe I’m not going to text that now, but it’s probably on the cards for later.
When I’m awkward and fumbling to gloss over the entire debacle, he figures out exactly how easy it is to melt my brain with that sinfully dirty mouth of his, and the teasing becomes relentless.
After a cold shower that does nothing to calm my libido, I make both of the assholes responsible for this mess sleep on the fucking couches.
It does exactly nothing to rein them in.
I’d never admit it to any of them, but I wouldn’t want it any other way because it’s the best distraction from reality. It’s perfect, life-changing, and it slips through my fingers with a gut-wrenching speed that’s not fucking fair.
Even as I desperately cling to those distractions, the tell-tale dread builds in my gut as my eighteenth birthday approaches, and I have to face the facts; no amount of fun and games is going to stop the anguish from swallowing me whole.
In the past, I’ve never had to think about what that looks like from the outside, and it’s probably the most difficult conversation I’ve had with any of them to date, but I finally manage to warn them about what’s coming the night before.
I’m clear about my complete inability to respond or function, but even as they share looks with each other, I can tell they’re underestimating how bad it’ll really be.
Harley assumes he has superpowers and will be able to get me to move.
He doesn’t.
I don’t.
He holds me to his chest and promises me French toast if I get up. When that doesn’t work, he promises me a private Vanth Falling concert in the bedroom if I sit up and let him feed me while Blaise plays. Finally, he promises me the world if I’ll just open my eyes.
But I can’t.
Not even for him.
Eventually, he gets out of bed and snaps at Blaise to watch me as he storms out of the room like his ass is on fire.
The bed dips then Blaise strokes my back as he hums under his breath, the morose thread back in his voice.
It had only just eased up and my panic with it…
and now I’ve shoved him back into the darkest corners of his mind with my own demons.
I want to apologize to him, and to thank him, I want to crack a joke about role reversal and it being my turn to be the morbid one.
I can’t.
There’s nothing left of me.
He’s better about this than I am, though, doesn’t panic or falter even for a second. He doesn’t try to speak to me either, just touches me gently like I’m so fucking breakable.
Fuck, I guess right now I am.
Then Harley’s voice carries through the open door, vibrating with the type of alarm I’ve felt myself but never had pointed in my direction.
“She won’t move or speak, I’m freaking the fuck out… yes, Floss… yes, come now… I don’t care, just get in the fucking car and come now.”
Then he stops talking. Blaise strokes the hair away from my face. Eventually he leaves me too, and I can wallow in the silence by myself.
I become aware again at the sound of Avery’s sharp tones as she breathes pure ice at her cousin. “I don’t know why you’re losing your mind right now, Harley, Lips told you this would happen.”
He practically snarls back at her, “Staying in bed feeling shitty all day is one thing, but she’s checked all the way out, Aves. You can’t tell me you’re not worried. She won’t even eat, for fuck’s sake!”
I feel her lips brush my cheek. “I’ll worry about her tomorrow. She will not do her birthday, not even for us. Just let her have her fucking space and stop trying to fix her.”
There’s murmuring by the door and then cool air washes over my body as the blankets lift and someone climbs in next to me.
I don’t move or speak. If the heady smell of his skin didn’t tip me off, the caress of fingers’ tracing patterns on my thighs are a dead giveaway that it’s Ash.
It’s fucking hard work, but I manage to sigh.
“Shh, Mounty. We’re not functioning today. Avery is going to babysit the other two and keep them busy. You and me will be nothing in here together.”
I don’t know how long I take, but I slowly move until my head hits his chest, and he takes it as the request it is to bundle me into his arms. I can’t open my eyes or speak, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“When you’re feeling better tomorrow, can you shake that perfect ass of yours for me again? I’ve been thinking about it non-stop and fuck, I can’t go another fucking day without seeing it in the flesh. The way your hips move, I can’t wait to see how you move on my cock.”
My response is instant and Pavlovian as a shiver runs down my spine, and he hums under his breath appreciatively.
“Good to know you’re still alive, Mounty.
Do you want to hear all about what I’m going to do to you when you’re back in the land of the living?
All of the things we have to look forward to? ”