Chapter 30 #2
“Look, I didn’t fucking know it would do this to him!
I just wanted him back!” She sobs, and I feel fucking nothing but icy bloodlust pumping through my veins.
I drop my hands away from her and start to look for my knife.
Blaise had grabbed it and stashed it in his pocket for me while I’d been frozen in fear, waiting with my phone pressed against my ear.
Illi steps up and takes my arm, pulling me out of the room and into the hallway, pushing me until I find myself wrapped in Blaise’s arms.
“I’ll sort this for you, kid. It’s my job and my fucking pleasure to take care of this for you.”
I stare at him, cold and detached. He nods at me like he knows how blank I am inside.
“She fucked with the wrong family. I’ll treat her with the same patience and understanding as you did with the guy who bid on Odie. Stay with your mobster, kid. I’ll check on you guys when it’s done.”
He ushers us back out to the waiting room and at the last moment, he grabs Ash’s arm.
Ash stares at him with the rage that’s filling every fiber of his being.
If anyone else did that Illi would thumb their eyes out, but he just nods at him with respect.
“Welcome to the family. We’re going to burn this place to the fucking ground. ”
And then he leaves with a deftness no man his size should have.
Ten minutes later, we’re all still sitting in the waiting room when Diarmuid shows up. He takes one look at me and collapses on a chair across from us.
“Liam?” he snarls.
I shake my head. “Matteo.”
He nods and unsheathes his favorite knife. Blaise tenses for a second but the Irish bastard pulls out a whetstone and begins to sharpen the blade. It’s an old habit, something he does when he’s plotting. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but the Jackal just signed his own death warrant.
Five hours later they finally let us in to see him.
The overpowering smell of the disinfectant burns my nostrils and my chest tightens instantly.
The beeping of the machines monitoring him just makes me want to scream and fucking chase Annabelle down, slamming a knife through her gut before Illi gets the chance.
He has probably already taken care of it but fuck, I wish I would have fought a little harder to make the kill myself.
Blaise helps me climb onto the bed next to Harley as Ash lifts wires and tubes out of my way without unplugging anything. It’s a tight fit with how big he is, but I make it work. Avery sits in the chair by the window and watches me with vacant eyes.
It’s not until I cry that her soul seems to come back to her body. The tears start as silent streams of salty liquid, leaving tracks down my face. Then comes the sniffling until finally, my whole body is trembling at the force of the sobs I’m desperately keeping in.
I’m taking today.
I’m giving myself today to lie here with him and touch him and know that he’s alive.
Tomorrow I’m going to start a war, I’ll call in every last favor until the blood pours like fucking rivers through the streets of Mounts Bay and every damn man, woman, and child knows to stay the fuck away from my family. But today is for Harley.
Hours pass like that, me crying into his chest, while the others all try to find some comfort on the cheap, spindly plastic chairs. Blaise eventually passes out on the floor, his jacket balled up under his head, and Ash sprawls out over four chairs with his head in Avery’s lap.
I am nothing but blind rage and gut-wrenching fear.
“I’ve never seen you cry before.” Avery looks absently out the window and strokes at Ash’s hair.
I don’t speak, I can’t open my mouth without the sobs coming out messily, so she continues.
“I’ve always known you liked them. I mean, you protect them all so fucking fiercely, it’s obvious it’s not just for my sake.
I just… I didn’t realize you loved him like this. ”
I take a minute to wipe my eyes and collect myself. It takes every last ounce of my strength I have left.
“I’ve never given anyone the power to break me.
Harley is… on paper, he’s the worst choice for me.
He’s a mobster’s son. He’s from the Bay.
He’s lived in the world that has tried to kill me every fucking day of my life.
He’s a killer; he has that darkness in him that every single man in my life so far has used to hurt me.
Trying to get away from that life means he’s the worst option.
But he’s… a part of me. It goes so far beyond having my heart.
Hearts can be broken, torn out, fucking burned.
Harley owns a part of my soul and, if he wanted to, he could destroy me in ways Matteo never fucking could.
They all do, Aves. It’s why I couldn’t fucking choose in that bathroom back when you asked me because how do I choose between the parts of my soul? ”
I lift my eyes to her and I feel the calm settle back over me.
“Avery, I’m not going to take careful steps anymore.
I’m going to wipe the fucking board clean until there isn’t a threat left.
I’m going to take out the Jackal, the O’Cronins, Senior, fucking Morningstar himself if I have to.
Every single one of them will die before I let this happen again. ”
Avery’s eyes stay fixed on mine, unblinking and unflinching in her resolve.
“I would watch the whole world burn to keep our family safe, Lips. I’m calling Atticus.
I don’t forgive him and I don’t want him anymore, but I’ll use him until every last threat is gone.
We’re done playing it safe and keeping the body count low. Whatever it takes, to the end.”